38 and thinking about getting pregnant?

[bigsis1970]

Hi - I've been on the boards a long time (2001) but don't post all that much... long story made short: Last Jan I met the most amazing man - Chris - at work, he works for the food service company in my insurance building, we started dating, he moved in by May, we were engaged mid Aug, and married November 30, 2008
Chris is 26 and as I said I am 38 (our bdays at Nov & Oct) I've been on the Depo shot since Feb 2008 (before that I was on Depo from Feb 1997 to Oct 2004 - then I wasn't on BC from 2004 to 2008) I have 2 children - DD is 15 and DS is 12, Chris doesn't have any and we've talked about having one - I do not want to deprive him of being a father and I’d love to have a baby but I am scared.. I am due for a Depo shot the middle of March and would like to have some sort of decision by them because I've heard it takes longer when you are older (I was on the pill before getting preg with my other 2 children and conceived in 2 months both time) I heard that all the risks about double for both mom and baby when you are 40.

I guess I should mention that Chris also has epilepsy and has been talking Meds for 11 years for it... Both his parents have had heart attacks and his dad has had cancer. We are both overweight (by 75 lbs according to a BMI index) but are in good shape no heart problems, diabetes or high blood pressure. Oh and I had both my kids by C-section.

So please what I am asking for is a little advice on what you might do - or if you know anyone around my age who is currently preggie or was preggie this late in life I'd like the good and bad

 

[Aliceacc]

We adopted my son when I was 40. Then, six months later, I was pregnant with my older daughter (today is her 9th birthday!!) and 3 years after that, with my younger daughter.

So, if you're counting, I had my youngest when I was 45. Everyone is happy (most of the time) and healthy.

Why not talk to a doctor about your concerns? But you most certainly are NOT too old to get pregnant!!

 

[adventure_woman]

I would make an appt. with your OB and discuss with her. I do know several people who have had healthy babies when they were in late 30s. Maybe if you are still debating, and to not rush things, switch birth control for a while? I know Depo lasts quite a while - can you not get the shot and go back on the pill or Nuvaring or something for a short time if you can't decide by then? Good luck, and congrats on finding a great guy!

 

[RMulieri]

I would discuss this with your Dr. Every woman is very very different. I am only 34 and can not have anymore due to health reasons.Plus my Mom went thru menopause at 36 as did her mother ,so I am sure I will too. I know women that have their first at 45 and others who stop in their 20's.It depends on your health and medical history.Your Dr would be able to advise you best.

 

[bigsis1970]

At this point I don't have an OB just a general prac.. the OB I used for my 2 children has retired - I could use someone else in his office I suppose. I'll have to check around..

 

[E-P-C-O-T]

Hi Michelle,

I'm 38 (born in 1970) and my husband is 42 and we just had our first baby, a beautiful, healthy, baby girl! She was conceived on our first try, not bad for us "old folks". I had a good, normal pregnancy, except for lots of morning sickness (normal) and a slight decrease of amniotic fluid at the end of the pregnancy. My Dr blamed the amniotic fluid issue to a fall I had at 32 weeks. I thought my doctor considered me as a high risk patient, but, he told me it's completely normal now for women to have children in their late thirties. He nows considers high risk, 45 and up and even then a woman in her 40's can have a perfect pregnancy.

If you have any questions, you can PM me!

 

[bigsis1970]

Hi Michelle,

I'm 38 (born in 1970) and my husband is 42 and we just had our first baby, a beautiful healthy baby girl! She was conceived on our first try, not bad for us "old folks". I had a good, normal pregnancy, except for lots of morning sickness (normal) and a slight decrease of amniotic fluid at the end of the pregnancy. My Dr blamed the amniotic fluid issue to a fall I had at 32 weeks. I thought my doctor considered me as a high risk patient, but, he told me it's completely normal now for women to have children in their late thirties. He nows considers high risk, 45 and up and even then a woman in her 40's can have a perfect pregnancy.

If you have any questions, you can PM me!

THANK YOU! My other preg's were just fine - I no reason to believe that it won't be the same other then the "nasty" stuff I read, no idea why I even hunted it down but anyway I did it then sent myself into a tizzy with the "what if's" I have to find an OB and go from there..

 

[Krissy Marissy]

I agree. Find and OB and go talk to them...just see what they advise. I dont see anything wrong with being 38 and trying for a baby. My sister is 36, a cancer survivor and is trying for a baby right now. Lots of women have babies in their 40's these days. Good luck to you. And Congrats on the marriage!

 

[3boymthr]

Don't forget when you discuss getting preggers with your OB that you mention your DH takes meds (and what they are) so the OB can advise you what effect they might have on the fetus. Some meds even when taken by the dad can have tetralogical effects - not saying his meds necessarily as I don't know what he's taking - just some meds.

PS - Good luck with your decision.

 

[Wendybird55]

I met my husband later in life (we were both 40 when we got married first time for both). We of course wanted a family and started right away.
My first 2 pregnancies were ectopics. I then did IVF (not for fertility, but to avoid the tubes and another ectopic). I got pregnant and lost the baby at 12 weeks.

I then tried the old fashioned way and gave birth to my beautiful son when I was 44. I tried for another when my son was 6 months and got pregnant quickly but lost the baby around 10 weeks.

At that point I just wanted to enjoy my son and stopped trying. It was never confirmed (or denied) that the losses were due to my age. You can never tell that.

My son's prgnancy was a healthy one. I did not have an amnio because I knew I could never terminate.

My Drs. were great in that they never made me feel "old" with my pregnancies. In fact after my last loss, my Dr. said I didn't need to be hasty about "closing up shop".

You will be told of all the increased riskes for genetic problems and urged to have an amnio. But those choices are yours.

In my opinion 38 is not old at all and there is no reason you shouldn't try. I agree that you should see your OBGYN and discuss this - I did when I first started. Instead of waiting a year of trying I wanted to know sooner than later if they saw any "fertility" problems becasue of age. A couple of simple blood tests and that was all.

I know how great the desire to have a child is and if you and your boyfriend really want it - then I say - go for it!

Good Luck

 

[tam626]

I had my first son at 19, my dd at 24 & then got remarried at 37 to a great guy also named Chris & we had our son when I was 38. My pregnancy went fine. No real difference between all three pregnancies. Delivery went well. My OB never made me feel as if I were too old & she delivered both my sons; 19 years apart. Good luck in what ever you decide.

 

[kristinw3girls]

As you know pregnancy can be difficult no matter what the age. So if you both want a child and your new OB says ok, then go for it and enjoy all of the pratice! There are no guarantees at 38 or 28, so use your best judgement and pray for the best. I have 3 and I had a difficult time (especially #3) but it had nothing to do with my age.

 

[clutter]

I just saw an OB/GYN on tv over the weekend who said that if you think you're going to try to get pg within a year, you shouldn't do the depot shot. The effects can last up to a year.

 

[pktbMouse]

I gave birth to mt baby last year at the ripe old age of 41..hes 8 months old now and Im 42 and loving it. He is so much fun. The pregnancy was great..the only thing I find different from my other one is Im more tired. I just nap when the baby does and Im fine. If you feel ok then go for it.

 

[ktlm]

I got pregnant with DD at 38 and had her a few weeks after I turned 39. My doctor said she sees women our age having perfectly healthy babies all the time. The chance of Down Syndrome with a 38 year old mother is only 1 in 190 which means there is over a 99% chance the baby would not have Downs. I had a very easy pregnancy (until the last day- but that is another story that had nothing to do with my age). The harder part at that age is sometimes actually getting pregnant, so if you want to do it I'd say don't wait. Get off the Depo and go for it!

 

[Ariel on Land]

Congratulations on your recent marriage! I agree w/ everyone else- go talk to your doctor. There are likely to be increased risks due to age and the other health problems you mentioned, but that doesn't mean it's impossible, or something that that is TOO risky, KWIM? I think a candid conversation with your dr (your normal dr is probably fine, but it probably wouldn't hurt to find a new OB) would definitely give you and your DH the information you need to really decide for yourselves! Good luck!

 

[blessedby3]

I got pregnant with number 4 when I had just turned 40. It only took one try for us and I was very surpised. I had read that it would take longer when you are older too, but that was not the case for us. Our DD was born healthy right before I turned 41. I will say that it is more difficult (as far as energy levels go) for DH and I this time. Our other kids are 18(getting ready to turn 19 this Sat), 13, 9 and the baby is 16 mos. She also has reflux which the others didnt have and this has added to our not sleeping straight through a night in the last 16mos!!!!
Anyway, I love our DD, she was planned and I cant imagine what it would be like without her. The older kids love her so much too and are a great help. There are more risks as you get older, and that did weigh heavy on my mind, but everything turned out fine.
Good luck to you whatever you decide.

 

[lntsmom]

My best advice is to shop OB's. The ivillage boards used to have lists of fat-friendly ob's. I'm not sure if they're still there or not, but you might check.

My first OB was a terror. Due to his histrionics I ended up having a c-section. At our first meeting he said "Big fat women like you have big fat babies..." The relationship went downhill from there. Sadly, my choice at the time was him or a first year resident! Some insurance, eh???

My second OB was a dream! I have fertility issues anyway, but he said he was thrilled to women at 38 instead of at 45 when it's pretty impossible to help them. He was very kind and supportive.

So, ask the overweight moms in your area who they used. Don't be afraid to get pregnant at this point...you and the baby will be fine. Even at your age you have a 99% chance of the baby being perfect. Don't let anyone scare you about your odds! Just be sure to pick a doc who is going to be supportive!

 

[Myhappythought5]

THANK YOU! My other preg's were just fine - I no reason to believe that it won't be the same other then the "nasty" stuff I read, no idea why I even hunted it down but anyway I did it then sent myself into a tizzy with the "what if's" I have to find an OB and go from there..

Unfortunately there are "What If's " not matter what. Just talk with your Dr and I am sure they will have great advice on how to help you through another pregnancy. I am only 32 and I am done. But my step mom had her youngest when she was 41. So don't worry about the age so much. Just talk with your dr and I am sure they will be able to put your mind at ease.

 

[Terapin]

Hiya!

Please start taking at least a mg of folic acid now if you are contemplating pregnancy.

Women who are older do have some small increases in risk, like high blood pressure, still birth, miscarriage, gestational diabetes, other obstetrical complications, and conceiving a child with a chromosomal disability. But those risks are small. Being overweight also adds some increased risks of mostly the same things, but they are also small.

Every year that you delay pregnancy will decrease your chances of getting pregnant, and carrying a healthy pregnancy to term. There really is a ticking clock.

If you are seriously contemplating a pregnancy, losing a little weight will help, and really eating a terrific diet will help optimize your health.

I am a midwife, who is 36 and contemplating a 4th pregnancy at 38, and who is also overweight, so I feel really qualified to answer your questions!