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[Iforgetmypassword]

My husband does all the grocery shopping. He does a much better job than I do. I'm very glad that he does.

 

[stacy347]

$3 for laundry detergent? Wow, that's inexpensive!

Not really. 2/$6 and 2/$10 sales on laundry soap are a weekly thing around here. Kroger actually has the 72 oz. Purex for $2.84 this week.

OP was just putting a small vent on the budget board that he went over what she thought the budget would be. There is sure a lot more being read into her post than was ever actually there.

 

[DVC-Don]

I brace myself when my wife does the grocery shopping by herself as she comes home with a ton of junk food. Most of the time I go by myself or we go together.

 

[mfd25wife]

I know one thing... If I went to the store with a list from my wife and came home perfectly with everything on that list and later sat down at the computer and found a post like this, I would promptly stand up, walk out to the kitchen, open all packages I purchased, and dump them in the garbage. There you go, you go do the shopping!

Wow, bit of a temper? That is quite an over the top reaction to a few simple words of surprise from a spouse. She didn't call him any names, she never said she wished he hadn't gone, she never said he was incapable. She simply shared that she thought that was more than the total should have been for what she requested. If that's all it takes to set you off, then yeah, I hope your wife never does post anything about you.


For the record, OP ~ I could have gotten every single thing on your list for less than $35 easily, so I see your point.
And my husband doesn't look at prices at all when he shops...it drives me crazy, but I try to keep it to myself. He surprised the kids with a new Xbox this year, and I knew I could have gotten a deal that would have been 40% less than what he paid, but he was so proud of himself.

little wieners (for appetizers in the crock pot) ~ $3 here
1 bag of tortilla chips ~ $1 bag (for the restaurant style Kroger ones, and they are good!)
juice $2 name brand
soda $4 at the most for a 12 pack or 4 2L (always some pop for $1/2L here)
laundry detergent $3-5 name brand, depending on the week
cat food $3 name brand
pan for the turkey to cook in $1.50
apple pie $5 name brand
cherry pie $5 name brand
couple cans of soup $1.50
toothpaste $2 name brand

While it is a little over the top, the title of the thread is critical of the OP's DH. She didn't just post surprise. By saying "This is why DH does not get to shop", it indicates she thinks he screwed up and should have known better or is incompetent concerning shopping.

If I put on a list for DH to get pies, whether he wanted them or I did, he would pay anything they charged. His view is that I asked, he's by golly going to get them. If they weren't at one store, he would drive around until he found pies. He tries to bargain shop, but he is not going to just walk away from sodas, pies, or anything else because he is trying to help me by grocery shopping. While I know I may get a better deal, is it worth making him feel like he screwed up when he was just trying to help? For the extra items, I would not stress over too many cocktail smokies or juice. I figure we'll use them another time and that whenever we do, the grocery bill will be less than budget. I'd return the cat food just because of the stomach issues.

I may be wrong, but it sounds a little more like the OP was put out that he offered to shop and not clean. I would rather DH shop than clean since we have different views on what cleaning entails, and our definition of clean is different. He will do anything I ask, but it does not occur to him to sweep or mop, much less use a can of pledge. I obviously don't know the OP at all, but I wonder if she would have been any happier if he cleaned since he didn't really shop the way she wanted, or was she just more unhappy he didn't clean that she is more critical of his shopping. I have to remind myself that DH was not raised the same as me. He doesn't just know what I want whether it is shopping or cleaning. I made a lot of candy for various Christmas parties, family, etc. I put on the list exactly how many cans, bags, etc. of nuts, evap milk, chocolate, etc. I needed.

OP, I would just think about when I could use the extra stuff and decrease the spending during those weeks.

 

[ilovemk76]

$X dollars or I would have walked away. That is not what your list said. If I was buying from your list I would not have "walked away". It was on the list so you wanted it.

Wieners - 3 is not a wrong number. Is you only wanted one then you should have said one.

Store brand vs. name brand. Maybe this is what he likes better and it was for his family.

 

[faindrops27]

Thank goodness for our husbands! I know of so many women who wish they had a hubby that would be so kind to go out to the grocery store. :

 

[ilovemk76]

Thank goodness for our husbands! I know of so many women who wish they had a hubby that would be so kind to go out to the grocery store. :

My husband will cook, clean and shop. He is helping me out so I let him do it his way. There is nothing wrong with his way and my way is not superior. It makes for a well fed, clean and happy family.

 

[crisi]

That's not bad.

We have an annual party at this time of year, my husband hosts - which means he does most of the grocery shopping.

We serve chili - three kinds - meat, bean and tofu. We have tortilla chips and dip. We bake up brownies. We get a veggie tray. Cheese. Crackers. There is soda, beer, wine - although we don't buy the beer - people bring it - and I might need to run to the liquor store to round out the liquor cabinet. A trip through Costco for what looks good to round out the table. People will also bring things to share - we end up with more cheese and dips and more sweets. We plan for forty to sixty guests and have no idea who will show.

The meat alone for the chili was $100 - New York Strip. The total bill for this party this year was probably close to $600 - maybe more. Almost everything is organic. The brownies are gluten free from a mix - and gluten free mixes aren't cheap. Plus "real" brownies.

I have learned over the twenty years when we host this party to breathe, get the house clean, and not worry about it. Most of the food disappears - this year we ended up with a lot of extra beer (we always do) and a lot of extra soda (no one drank much), gained two bottles of wine, three bottles of really good scotch (we don't drink scotch), two bottles of bourbon. The chili was gone (imagine that! grass fed organic New York Strip and the chili disappeared!) I could do this party a lot cheaper, but that would shift the burden of it from him to me, and its really his party - I don't want the stress.

He is like that whenever he goes grocery shopping - I go shopping and get food watching prices - he goes shopping and I get organic small batch chocolate sauce for expensive ice cream and wonder where the vegetables are for dinner. If I need to be cheap - I make sure there is no reason he needs to go to the store - and I make sure to buy lots of the expensive stuff he wants when its on sale and stock it. When I'm feeling more flush, its nice to have him shop - its one less thing I need to do and I know there will be good chocolate in the house

 

[stacy347]

While it is a little over the top, the title of the thread is critical of the OP's DH. She didn't just post surprise. By saying "This is why DH does not get to shop", it indicates she thinks he screwed up and should have known better or is incompetent concerning shopping.

I can see what you're saying if that's what you took from her title, but just speaking for myself, I wouldn't have inferred that from a statement by someone that I've never even met. The only thing she actually stated in that title was that his paying more than she would have was the reason she does the shopping. To me that isn't a big deal at all.

OP, hope the family get together goes well, and have a great weekend!

 

[Miss Peach]

I cannot speak to whether the prices paid on that shopping trip were too high.

But I do know that I wouldn't last very long in a marriage where one of the partners decides whether the other " gets to do the shopping"!!!

Good grief!

 

[Srbright]

We spend about $70.00/week on groceries but hardly eat out. (if we do it's on Groupon) We have a Soda Stream for beverages. Some weeks I don't even go grocery shopping. My pantry is full of things like grains, beans, and rice. My freezer is stocked with soups, meats, etc.., I don't buy processed foods for the most part and make a at home meal most days of the week. My bill is higher if I have to buy meat of course. So my point is, it's possible I could see why it would be upsetting to see a high bill when you work so hard to keep things within a reasonable budget. My hubby and I get into the same argument. I say "If you want things done right, do them yourself."

You had to have bought those items in the pantry at some time and also bought and prepared those items in the freezer. I'm with MrRodgers on this one. There is no way we could feed our family of 4 (myself, husband, 8 yo daughter, 6 yo son) on $50 OR $70 per week. Perhaps it is because of where we live, but even shopping at Aldi's and Kroger and not even thinking about going into Whole Foods (whose rack of lamb is on "sale" this week for $48, that would blow the budget to hell) we couldn't do $70.

The English roast from Kroger was $15 and will make two meals sometimes they have it buy one get one free, but not often. Chicken breast at $1.79/lb if we can get it on the right day at Busch's. Add to that some fresh veggies and fruit for the children, milk, cereal and some rice or potatoes. We are hamstrung that the children go to a tree nut free school so there are no nut snacks or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch.

The children's lunches at school alone are $28, which even at $70 per week would only leave us with $42 to feed a family of 4 which would leave us $2.60 PER MEAL. We did did the math and without peanut butter or nut based snacks and with sending in a sealed drink (as the school requires), we would only save $1-$2 per week by sending them with a sack lunch that may or may not make it to the lunch room.

Don't take this entire thing as criticism because I would really like to know how someone feeds their family with $3.33/per meal.

Also, we have a sodastream. I got DH one for Christmas and he loves it. But do the math on the cost of those bottles and the amount of soda that it makes. It is barely break even to use the Sodastream and for some of the flavors it is more expensive than buying just regular (not even store brand) similar items. The only thing it does do it make it on demand.

EDIT: Target has SodaStream on sale for $5.99 per bottle which makes 12 liters (6 two liters). So that works out to $1 per two liter, and that's when it's on sale. It is normally $7.99. Kroger has Pepsi AND Coke on sale this week for $1 a 2 liter. This works out to the same price as SodaStream. Kroger's store brand soda is $0.89 per 2 liter, which makes it cheaper than the SodaStream.

Stacy

 

[faindrops27]

You had to have bought those items in the pantry at some time and also bought and prepared those items in the freezer. I'm with MrRodgers on this one. There is no way we could feed our family of 4 (myself, husband, 8 yo daughter, 6 yo son) on $50 OR $70 per week. Perhaps it is because of where we live, but even shopping at Aldi's and Kroger and not even thinking about going into Whole Foods (whose rack of lamb is on "sale" this week for $48, that would blow the budget to hell) we couldn't do $70.

The English roast from Kroger was $15 and will make two meals sometimes they have it buy one get one free, but not often. Chicken breast at $1.79/lb if we can get it on the right day at Busch's. Add to that some fresh veggies and fruit for the children, milk, cereal and some rice or potatoes. We are hamstrung that the children go to a tree nut free school so there are no nut snacks or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch.

The children's lunches at school alone are $28, which even at $70 per week would only leave us with $42 to feed a family of 4 which would leave us $2.60 PER MEAL. We did did the math and without peanut butter or nut based snacks and with sending in a sealed drink (as the school requires), we would only save $1-$2 per week by sending them with a sack lunch that may or may not make it to the lunch room.

Don't take this entire thing as criticism because I would really like to know how someone feeds their family with $3.33/per meal.

Also, we have a sodastream. I got DH one for Christmas and he loves it. But do the math on the cost of those bottles and the amount of soda that it makes. It is barely break even to use the Sodastream and for some of the flavors it is more expensive than buying just regular (not even store brand) similar items. The only thing it does do it make it on demand.

Stacy

Stacy you're so right! I wish I could feed my family of 5 for less. But, with prices either going up, or staying the same with packages shrinking. It is close to impossible without extreme coupon clipping.

I am curious, how many people will eat at this family gathering? I just had a family gathering of 12 the bill was just shy of $300 which included, no alcohol, chips, dips, apps, a main, and desserts. I wish I could spend so little on a get together.

 

[tasha99]

I guessed $80, so $76 including toothpaste sounds great to me.

 

[sk!mom]

Wow! I'm always amazed by the controlling spouses on this board! He's a grown man yet he's allowed to buy only what you say.

I understand that he broke the budget a bit but did the list include quantities and price points? As is only buy the pies if they are less than $x.

My DH rarely goes to the grocery store and he doesn't cook at all so when he does he wants a specific and detailed list. If I had pie or anything else on the list he would buy it. He would have no idea of prices so he would have no idea if a price was higher than usual.

Sorry, but it just seems like a mean reaction to a favor.

 

[Bob NC]

Wow! I'm always amazed by the controlling spouses on this board! He's a grown man yet he's allowed to buy only what you say.

I understand that he broke the budget a bit but did the list include quantities and price points? As is only buy the pies if they are less than $x.

My DH rarely goes to the grocery store and he doesn't cook at all so when he does he wants a specific and detailed list. If I had pie or anything else on the list he would buy it. He would have no idea of prices so he would have no idea if a price was higher than usual.

Sorry, but it just seems like a mean reaction to a favor.

LOL, you just have to realize that husband bashing in ANY form is a staple on this message board, (I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that.)

 

[crisi]

Stacy you're so right! I wish I could feed my family of 5 for less. But, with prices either going up, or staying the same with packages shrinking. It is close to impossible without extreme coupon clipping.

SNAP (food stamps) in our state are less than $30 per week per person - for our family of four, we'd get $120 per week in food stamps. The government does want you to eat nutritiously, but they aren't funding a nightly rack of lamb habit. And I'm in a low SNAP state, one of the lowest. That sort of puts really low grocery budgets in perspective.

 

[jaminmd]

When we got a new Wegman's in the area, my husband spent $1400 in one month on groceries. Your $80 was a bagful for him. If he's willing to go, I'm thrilled!

 

[Marionnette]

SNAP (food stamps) in our state are less than $30 per week per person - for our family of four, we'd get $120 per week in food stamps. The government does want you to eat nutritiously, but they aren't funding a nightly rack of lamb habit. And I'm in a low SNAP state, one of the lowest. That sort of puts really low grocery budgets in perspective.

Food Stamps are meant to supplement the food budgets of low-income families. The program isn't meant to provide for all of their food. For instance, there's also WIC for families with children 5 and under. For those with children over the age of 5, there are subsidized school lunch programs that sometimes also cover free breakfast on school days. And those families are expected to spend some of their own income to pay for food as well. So really, the state is not assuming that you can feed a family on $30 per person per week. They are just helping out to the tune of $30 per person per week.

 

[luvmy3]

I can see what you're saying if that's what you took from her title, but just speaking for myself, I wouldn't have inferred that from a statement by someone that I've never even met. The only thing she actually stated in that title was that his paying more than she would have was the reason she does the shopping. To me that isn't a big deal at all.

OP, hope the family get together goes well, and have a great weekend!

I took it the same as the pp, its the "that's why dh doesn't GET to do the shopping" that makes it seem like the OP thinks her dh is incompetent and can't be allowed to make such decisions on his own.

 

[Srbright]

Food Stamps are meant to supplement the food budgets of low-income families. The program isn't meant to provide for all of their food. For instance, there's also WIC for families with children 5 and under. For those with children over the age of 5, there are subsidized school lunch programs that sometimes also cover free breakfast on school days. And those families are expected to spend some of their own income to pay for food as well. So really, the state is not assuming that you can feed a family on $30 per person per week. They are just helping out to the tune of $30 per person per week.

Exactly. DH and I just today had a discussion about Corey Booker's FS challenge in NJ. He claimed that he was trying to prove that you couldn't live on the FS you get from the state. The problem was his budget was $30 per week and he DID NOT supplement it with his own money. According to the NJ website that I ran through this morning, one adult with no income would get $200 per month in FS, $50 per week, not $30.

While I laud his efforts to improve the program (we just proved you can't eat nutritiously on $50 or $70 for week for a family of 4, but you certainly could for one person), his methodology is severely flawed because you're supposed to supplement it. Here in MI a family of 4 with little or no income can get up to $664 per month in FS and that does not count WIC. At that level they do not expect you to supplement.

Our own food budget per week runs $100-$120 depending on if we are stocking up or on holiday (kids eat lunch at home instead of school) so I could live handsomely on $150 a week or so.

But at the same time back to the original topic; DH and I go to the store together. We discuss the things we like and we know what we normally buy. Even to that if I sent him to the store with that list for a party and he came back at $76 I wouldn't have blinked an eye. What I WOULD have done if money were that tight would be:
1) Give him a budget - "Babe, here's $40 but it should cost less than that. If it doesn't, text me"
2) Tell him to buy store brand. If you don't normally buy store brand or he doesn't like them or it was his family (which I believe it was) he may have not wanted to buy store brand and wasn't told any different.

Regards,

Stacy