3 year old and bedtime tantrums...throwing up - help!

[mookie]

I really think this a power struggle. She's at that age. She wants to have power over the situation.

If it was me, I would really talk to her during the day. Kinda lay down EXACTLY how bedtime is going to be.

"Every night we are going to read you 1 story, we will give you 1 drink of water, you can pick 3 stuffed animals to sleep with, then we are going to give you a kiss and hug and walk out of the room. If you hide from us then we can't kiss you and we'll all be sad. If you throw a fit then you will watch NO videos the next day."

Give her SOME of the power, she can pick how many stuffed animals, which book. Have her pick out which DVD she wants to watch in the morning and get it set up in the player, so she knows it's out there waiting for her. But if she throws a fit you're going to take it away. Maybe if she goes a whole week w/o fits she gets to go to the store and pick out a new DVD.

And do the bucket thing, because that's just nasty having to clean up puke every day!

Sandcass, I agree that this is a power struggle. DD is a very strong kid, and very smart too. We are also trying the potty thing now, too, and both grandparents say that she KNOWS exactly what she is doing, she's just trying to bully us. Sometimes I think she's too smart for her own good.

I am going to try these suggestions tonight, and report back. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

 

[slo]

Melissa, we posted at the exact same time. Take a look up a few posts!!!

 

[Sandcass]

She does sound like a little smarty. My kids were like that when they were little too. People tell me I'm so lucky to have smart kids, but they really have their own set of challenges. You never know how their little minds are working.

Having her over this before the baby comes would be a very good goal. Sleep will be in short supply then!

Does she have a nightlight on? Do you think she could handle being allowed a book in her bed with her? My kids have always loved reading in bed. My 8 year old is hysterical. He has a flashlight in his bed and he thinks we don't know that he reads after his lights are turned out. We know, we just dont care! We figure he goes to sleep when he's ready. I think there are preschooler flashlights out there that turn themselves off after a few minutes. Maybe she could look quietly at a book until the light goes off, then she'll be nice & settled for going to sleep.

 

[mookie]

Hi Melissa!!


P.S. Please stop by the Chicago Thread, I miss you there!!!

Hi Sandy!!!

I am so sorry I've been neglecting my hometown buddies over at the Chicago thread. I'm heading over there right now. I've missed you too!!!

 

[Sandcass]

Hey Mookie - How was your night? Just wondering.

 

[mookie]

Actually, it wasn't too bad. Although I did a few things differently at naptime, so that may have had an effect. At naptime, I let her watch Cinderella in bed. Now, we pulled the shades, turned it down low and everything, and I didn't hear her, but I don't know if she ever really went to sleep. But she was fine with going to bed watching a movie. She stayed in her room quiet for about 2 1/2 hours. Not bad....

Then, we met DH at the mall last night to pick up something I had ordered, so we didn't get home until almost 8:45, at which time, I did the same countdown (10 mintues before bed, etc.), DH read her a story, but by the time we were done, it was almost 45 minutes past her regular bedtime. But, she did go right down (only one calling out - to look for a lost stuffed animal). So, I don't know if the late bedtime or just a combination did the trick. I think the 3rd night will be the charm. We'll see.

Don't know if I really like the idea of her falling asleep to a movie for naps, but I guess if she's getting to the point that she might be dropping them soon anyway, this might be a way to stretch that longer. I'm just now waiting for the blowup if she asks to watch a movie at night too - which I'll REFUSE to do....

But all in all, something seems to be clicking. No tantrums yesterday at all, but I did do a lot of bribing (if your good, you can have a sucker, we'll go to the mall, etc.). I hate the fact that I've resorted to bribes, but I guess if it works, it's good for my sanity, right?

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

You have a lot of great suggestions here... the only ones that make me cringe are the ones that say to give your daughter power and reward her for going to sleep. I am a firm believer that rewards shouldn't be given out for things that are expected. You are the adult and she is the child. Show her that she can cry and scream and even vomit.... you'll quietly come in and change the sheets and put her back in bed - kiss her goodnight and leave.

You don't have to punish her, but I certainly wouldn't offer rewards either. Her reward is having a happy, rested Mom every morning due to the eliminating the battles at night.

Good luck!!!

 

[Sandcass]

I think an afternoon quiet/movie time is perfect. If she's tired, she'll sleep. otherwise at least she gets a nice rest of it. (and you too!) When my dd was 2 she was done with naps completely and I was preg w/ #2. I would put on a disney movie for her after lunch, we'd both climb into my big bed and I'd say "DO NOT TALK TO ME UNTIL THIS MOVIE IS OVER" and I'd collapse into a coma.

I also do a movie every afternoon for my daycare kids that are done with naps. 1/2 of them fall asleep 1/2 of the time. But we all need the quiet time.

another key is to not let her have movies on all day, so then the movie/quiet time in the afternoon works. I know parents who let their kids watch tv & movies all day while they play, and then expect them to lay still in the afternoon for a movie. Here we ONLY put on the movie for rest time so the kids look forward to it.

Have a good day!

P.S. Can I ask where in the Chicago area you live?

 

[mookie]

P.S. Can I ask where in the Chicago area you live?

I'm in Lake in the Hills, near Algonquin. Are you close to me?

 

[Sandcass]

That's why I was asking, do you consider Huntley close by?

I swear we may have met. I recognize your names.