21 month old with separation anxiety

[gshoemate]

Does anyone know how to handle this? I tried to go to the YMCA today for a Yoga class and I dropped my DS off at the day care center there. Well about half way through the class one of the day care providers had to come in and get me. My DS had been crying since I dropped him off. When I got in there he was just in hysterics. The poor guy was crying and couldn't catch his breath. When I got him into the car he was down to a whimper and fell fast asleep before I got 2 blocks away. I am going to hope that some of it was from him being tired but I'm afraid that it will happen the next time I go to the Y. Is there anything I can do to help him with this transition? He really has never been watched by anyone but me or DH, so I know that is a big part of the problem.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Oh poor baby, poor Mommy too! My Ds was also afraid to be left with a sitter. Sometimes it helped if I would stay at the play area until he was ready for me to leave. Is it possible for you to take him and just stay in the room sometime before your next class? Hopefully once he realizes it is both safe and fun he will look forward to the time at the Y. There was a short time (although then it felt like FOREVER) when it just was not worth it to leave him as he was just so upset. It did pass within a few monthes!

 

[melk]

If you and DH have been the only ones watching him, maybe you could get someone, a relative or friend, to come in to watch him at home for short periods. That way he's in his own environment and he will learn that when you or your DH go away, you do come back! Then maybe he won't be as anxious when you leave him at the Y.
I feel for you though, we went through separation anxiety with one of our kids when they started preschool. But remember, this too shall pass!

 

[gshoemate]

Good suggestions melk but we moved away from all family a little over a year ago so there is no one around that he would feel comfortable with. I think what I might do is take him to the gymjam class that they have for the little runs, it's ran by the day care people at the Y so that might give him a chance to get used to them.

 

[janette]

My youngest was really bad, she did go to daycare when she was an infant but only certain teachers were allowed to take care of her. They warned subs not to touch or talk to her

I was never able to leave her in a place like church nursery or area like you described. They always came to get me, like your DS she screamed until I came back and even then was hard to calm.

The only thing I can say is that she finally did grow out of it. She was about 3 1/2 and we were at a function for her pre-school and she walked closer to see and actually sat on another parents lap. I was amazed, it stopped that quickly.

 

[peg2001]

He may be worried that you are not coming back. When our youngest started preschool, she was amazed that we came back to pick her up. I guess she thought that was her new home!

I like the suggestion to spend time with him in the nursery. Try leaving for very short periods of time "I'll be right back, I just need to use the bathroom." It may help to build up the time slowly until he KNOWS you will be back.

Peggy

 

[RNMOM]

My boys did not go through this but I have heard the suggestion that you have an object of yours that you give him to hold for safekeeping that he returns to you when you come back. Perhaps a simple, safe, necklace or an old watch or something he might be able to put on and still play safely. Something you make a big deal about putting back on yourself when you return and thank him for holding for you and being a big help. I understand this has helped quiet a few little ones.

I would also go early and spend some time in the play room.

 

[FreshTressa]

Originally posted by peg2001
He may be worried that you are not coming back. When our youngest started preschool, she was amazed that we came back to pick her up. I guess she thought that was her new home!

I like the suggestion to spend time with him in the nursery. Try leaving for very short periods of time "I'll be right back, I just need to use the bathroom." It may help to build up the time slowly until he KNOWS you will be back.

Peggy

That is what I would do. I'm sure after a few times realizing that you will come back will help.

And just think, when he is 6, he'll be shoving you out the door.

 

[DisneyObsessed]

RNMOM, that's exactly what I did with my son. He was miserable going to preschool, so I gave him my keychain off of my keys to hold while I was gone. He would put it in his pocket and be able to touch it whenever he got upset. It worked like a charm. To this day, he is now 15, he still has that key chain, and remembers how it made him feel better when he was so little.

 

[cgcw]

We still have problems with our DS3 (who will be 4 next month). At times, he's fine when I leave. At others, he'll chase me out the door -- like last night -- regardless of the weather just to tell me not to go. I did anyway, as hard as it was to leave him. Sometimes, DH has to peel him off of me.

But, other times, he just doesn't care that I'm leaving. I look at it as progress in the right direction.

I know it's tough but just keep trying. One of these days he might get more comfortable in the surroundings at the gym. Then you'll both have moved a big step forward.