2008 started for me, in disney world. my ex boyfriend tyler broke up with me through text message while i was down in florida. so that sucked. but overall, the trip was amazing. my mom got married.
turns out tyler cheated on me with the ***** at work. oh well.
i came home, to find tensions rising between me and my then, best friend, jessica. but i also found myself reconnecting with my old best friend mariah. we lost touch through highschool.
jessica and her boyfriend started getting into a lot of fights, and both of them would come to me, and spilling their guts. then over time, her boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with her. i was like, "go for it" cause i'd been seeing a really mean, brutal side of her lately, not only towards me but towards him. so he did. he broke up with her. and then he and i um. ahem. got a little uh. friendly. yeah i know, bad friend award. whatever. i wasn't the only one getting it in the friendship, i promise. eventually i told him that i couldn't keep it going anymore, because honestly, i just couldn't. it was a mess. i backed off, and the same DAY i told him i didn't want to be with him, he went crawling back to her.
my grade started slipping here.
needless to say, jessica and i were falling apart. i can't say i feel bad about it though. in retrospect, we were horrible for each other.
but, here's the bad part.
jessica and i had planned a disney trip in may of 08. and i couldn't not take her. so that trip was hell.
after the trip, we pretty much stopped talking. shes tried to pick stupid fights with me since then, but i honestly don't care about her at all. she bullied me for like three years. whatever. i don't care anymore.
i dated another guy, named zach. geez, i loved that kid. we were and are better off as friends though. it was a whirlwind, but i loved it.
summer came. i loved every single moment of it. it was the best summer of my life. i spent it with my new old best friend, mariah and our friend shanna and several other friends of ours. i think this was the best summer of my life.
during the summer, i had a few flings. i always got cheated on or broken up with.
in july, i pretty much lost my job as a waitress/dishwasher, and i had to have surgery. so july was a tough month. i also couldn't do photography for awhile, because holding the camera hurt too much. that broke my heart.
i dated another guy, brian. it didn't work.
i went back to school.
i ended up being pushed forward a grade, so now i'm a senior.
in the fall semester, i got so swamped with work that having an emotional breakdown over a text book wasn't unusual for me. this was the hardest semester of my life. but i have wonderful, beautiful people who make it worth living.
i got kinda close to this guy, andy. that didn't work out though. we're still friends though.
in october i turned seventeen and my mom found out that i'd been lying to her about losing my virginity to an ex boyfriend. lesson of then, don't lie to your parents, especially about things like that. it may be hard to talk about, but you need to talk about it.
now, i'm spending a lot of time with my best friends, shanna, mariah, and steven. back in september i made a promise to myself, "make one beautiful thing every day." and i'm finally following through on that.
i've got a new love interest, james. i finally am passionate again.
i'm not sure where i'm going to school. i've applied to middle tennessee state university, but ive not heard back yet.
i've got six credit hours, and i'm finishing my first semester as a senior. i'm ready for school to be over. i'm not sure what i'm goign to major in, or what i'm goign to do in college, but i've got faith that whatever will be will be, and my worrying won't help matters.
has this year been a ton of fun? not all the time.
has this year been amazingly awful? not all the time.
things get tough. people grow up. people change.
this has been my year to grow up and let go of who i used to be and become who i will be. i've learned what i am capable of, good and bad. i've learned who i love, and who i had to let go of. i've learned that i'm stronger than i thought, but i've also learned to not let my heart callous over.
in seventeen years, i've learned that life is what you make it, all you need is a smile, love is worth more than money, and the gift of laughter is the best to receive. life is beautiful. right now, i'm not sure where i'm going, and i guess thats because i can't quite recall where i've been. in this life, its not what we have, its what we believe. when you have been dead 100 years, you have only just begun to be dead. you have to put your heart on the line, or you're never really living at all. hold close to those you love, and forgive all who wronged you, because nothing is worth being angry over. my name is shelby, i'm working on who i am. but most of all, life is beautiful.
