20041218-cruise-friends-memories Part 5

[justmestace]

Out of curiosity...did anyone here receive a cabin upgrade? I noticed the only cabins left are Cat. 5s.

No upgrade for me......

 

[justmestace]

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was
dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
innocently. You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You
know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't
move."

Virgil
TFD

 

[justmestace]

Pretty funny, Virgil....I didn't know you did stand-up!!

 

[afff]

I've heard of these, they sound cool!

I'd be very careful about using them at sailaway though, the wind is usually very strong and if one of those fly away, somone's going to wind up wearing it.

It's why bubbles are ok instead of the old fashioned things like throwing streamers and such; nothing to clean up.

Thanks Mark....didn't think of that.

I guess I'm still looking for bubbles then.

Gus

 

[WVMD]

I edited this one for them.....


One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken
Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little
went up to the
farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The
teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer
said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said:
'Holy Sh**! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for
the next 10 minutes.
Virgil
TFD

 

[WVMD]

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must
say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School,
and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I
thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

Virgil
TFD

and a T.O.P.!!!

 

[jhemond]

Virgil - be careful, Stacey told me only one page of jokes today because she has stuff to do. Unless that doesn't apply to you.

 

[WVMD]

Virgil - be careful, Stacey told me only one page of jokes today because she has stuff to do. Unless that doesn't apply to you.

I had to post these before you did..... I had to drop 2 or 3 jokes already since you've already posted them!

Virgil
TFD

 

[WVMD]

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the
boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're
too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and
asked, If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
Virgil
TFD

 

[jhemond]

Ok. Only one more so Stacey doesn't yell at me.

Tickle Me Elmo

There is a factory in America which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys; it
laughs when you tickle its tummy.

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for
her first day promptly at 0800.

The next day at 0845 there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The
Foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant
about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the
whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind
schedule The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself so
the 2 men march down to the factory floor.

When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me
Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands the new employee surrounded by mountains of
Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of
small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of
fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little
package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of
hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches the woman.

"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I
think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your
job is to give Elmo two test tickles".

 

[jhemond]

I had to post these before you did..... I had to drop 2 or 3 jokes already since you've already posted them!

Virgil
TFD

I think we get them from the same place!! I've seen all the ones you've posted.

 

[afff]

I was playing with the new camera last night. I figured out how to take a picture and how to delete a picture. Close enough!
Turns out, it wasn't the one that I thought I had picked. I was trying to choose between two cameras, and opted for the smaller, easier one. I guess I gave them the tag for the bigger, more complicated one....'cause that's what they sent me.
Warning to camera experts: I will be asking for help! If you see me coming with camera in hand, run the other way as fast as you can!!!

Same here Stacey.....I just tore the office apart.
I can't find the manual.

Gus

 

[ohiominnie]

Pretty funny, Virgil....I didn't know you did stand-up!!

I'm pretty sure he's sitting while he's doing these. Is that the same thing?

Pretty funny, Virgil.....I didn't know you did sitting down!

 

[WVMD]

And the last one..... (edited also... don't want the mods to get mad!)

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands
next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a
snack cake The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on
your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get b**bs too."

Virgil
TFD

 

[DW4US]

Virgil --- these are all too funny!!

 

[justmestace]

Stop!!


YOU HAVE ME IN STITCHES!!


Get it...doctor...stitches...ha ha ha...I'm funny too....funny looking, as my dad would say!

 

[afff]

ATTENTION!!!

I'm not sure if Bear knew they were missing, but I have found 15 of his long lost relatives that had run off to join the circus!!

If Bear, or anyone else for that matter, would like to see the lost family members, go here:
(make sure you pass your mouse over the bears)

http://www.nobodyhere.com/toren.hier

That is cool....saved that so that I can send it others.

Thanks Gus

 

[ohiominnie]

Your
job is to give Elmo two test tickles".

She'd kill me if I told you, but back when KT was about 3 she had a Tickle Me Elmo. And she liked to lay on it as she fell asleep. She would lay on her belly, position him Juuuusssttt right and then push down.

So whenever I hear the words "Tickle Me Elmo" I have to snicker!

 

[MrsMork]

Sue ...if you need someone to be with your Mom for a little break sometime, I won't mind one bit.
Seriously.... don't be afraid to ask.

Gus

We too would love to spend time with her. We love 'em all ages from itty bitty babies to older generation.

 

[magicalfam5]

Quick question about the Bahamas immigration form. Do my kids (12, 13, 15) sign them or do I sign them? We just went in June and I cannot remember what we did.

Thanks, Judy