2 Kids,2 Dogs,1200 Miles: 2 More Weeks in FL 2 - Finished with a Blast! P40

[Captain_Oblivious]

I’ve even read “The Unofficial Biography”.

Here’s how bad it gets…
For my 18th birthday, my parents even bought me a handful of tickets to see a live concert of “Professor Schickele” conducting the Charlotte Symphony Orchestra through a number of the better opuses in the PDQ Bach catalog.

When they recreated the “Sportscast” of the battle between the conductor and the orchestra as they fought through Beethoven’s Fifth (penalties and all)… The laughter was so hard that we were fighting for air.

That skit is the reason I got the album--one of the funniest and most inspired comedy bits I've ever heard. The way they call the "action" is brilliant.

 

[that's nice]

Loved the updates of the fireworks. While it looked really busy, you guys seemed to have found a nice spot to watch them... you even had chairs!

The other part of the delay was that I just wasn't looking forward to doing this update. It's kind of like reliving a bad dream.

RUT ROH!

Our plan for the day was to go to Busch Gardens in Tampa.

We are flying into Tampa in April to spend Easter with Melody's grandfather. I was thinking about a day trip to Busch Gardens.... Hummmmmm.....

It wasn't a bad day, per say - no hospital visits, vehicle breakdowns, or outbreaks of Chronic West Bird Pox (a super virus combining Chronic Wasting Disease, West Nile Virus, Bird Flu and Small Pox. As far as I know, it only exists in my imagination. And a petri dish in my basement), but it certainly wasn't a good day either.

On hot days at Disney, we like to fill water bottles the night before, freeze them, and drink them as they melt the next day at the park. So in addition to packing everything for the BG that day, I had to go through the extra effort to hide my ice bottles.

We do the same thing... glad you didn't get caught. I hear they like to tar and feather people like you.

Is that biker Grover? Looks like he has grown a mohawk and a mullet since the last time I've seen him.

That's one for the wall.

The next stop along the path was the aviary. We had been to Busch Gardens in the year 1 BC (Before Children) and the birds in here were very inquisitive. They would land on your hat, your shoe, finger. Anywhere they saw something shiny. This trip, well, they would sit in the tree or on the fence and let you look at them.

They were probably trying to stay away from the sweaty humans.

After touring the aviary for a little while, we said Bye Bye Birdie (look at that - I even worked a Broadway reference in here. This place IS classy!) and headed over to the Stanleyville area of the park. Want to know why Busch Gardens will never be as cool as Disney World? Fantasyland. Adventureland. Tomorrowland. Stanleyville. You do the math.

Man you are bitter!

I've been to Busch Gardens in Virginia and I remember the park had themes... kinda like the WS in Epcot. I wonder what happened to the FLorida BG?

But despite the lame name, Stanleyville does have one of the coolest big-kid coasters around - SheiKra.

Are you sure it wasn't the Shakira???

That looks like a cool coaster.

We had lunch at the Desert Grill, then did the Rhino Rally (think Kilimanjaro Safari, only with a lamer plot line. No, really.)
It was so hot that day, very few of the animals were active.

You should join the BG marketing department!

They had a DJ set up play music and inviting kids to dance and hula hoop. And it worked! We stayed in the park for an extra 5 minutes.

That sounds like a killer job!

And just how bad was the weather that kept shutting down the park? If you could have a torrential downpour of sunshine, we were sure in it.

I do see a smile in that picture... it couldn't been all bad.

 

[Stringbean&Wingnut]

Wow. Alright. Well that seems disappointing. I hate the "no outside food and drink rule". If they're going to price-gouge you on a petting zoo, seriously, I'm bringing in my Poland Spring.

That's pretty stormy-looking weather overhead.... I wonder what happens there if it DOES actually rain.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Love the update at the Busch. If Madison and Evan are that hot can you imagine how hot the Sesame street characters are?

Well, Grover was basically wearing flying goggles and a scarf, Zoe had on a belly-dancer outfit, and Abby wearing a one-shoulder dress. So I doubt they were that hot. Bert & Ernie did have safari gear on over their long sleeve shirts and pants, so that was probably pretty hot - but they did have hats to keep the sun off of their heads.

It is hard going anywhere where else after Disney.

The girl in front of the kids looks a bit bored. Glad your kids are having a blast.

She does look a bit old for the ride - I think she was accompanying a younger sibling. But, yes, bored out of her mind.

If your Hungry Howies is a chain then I just had it tonight. They have a Wacky Wednesday special we do every Wed.

I'm pretty sure they're a chain - I saw a few signs for them around Lakeland. We don't have them up here, though. I've heard mixed reviews, but if you do it every Wednesday, it can't be that bad!

 

[Poolrat]

I'm pretty sure they're a chain - I saw a few signs for them around Lakeland. We don't have them up here, though. I've heard mixed reviews, but if you do it every Wednesday, it can't be that bad!

I am from NY so I will say it is not NY pizza but 5.99 for a large 1 topping feed everyone and I throw in some cheesy or cinnamon bread and we get a couple of meals for under $10.00

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Family First… We got time, heck… some of us got nothing but time.

Better to have nothing but time than to be out of time.

Ummmm… OK

Yes, my enthusiasm is contagious.

Good plan so far



Still a good plan

I can use a good "Yes man." The position is unpaid, but it looks good on a resume. When can you start?

“Can you tell me how to g….”

NO, NO, NO, NO! I will not go there!
I’m sure even you wouldn’t descend to those depths.

Yeah, that's pretty low, even for me.

Tell it brother!

I don't get on a soapbox often, but when I do, I prefer Dove. (Or Dial. Or Irish Spring. If anyone would like to be the official Soap sponsor of this TR, just drop me a PM)

And we thank you for that… really… Ain’t buyin’ it are ya’?

Oh yeah. Totally eating it all up.

And there it is…
I stand corrected

And yet, you were probably sitting when you typed that, weren't you?

Is it just me… or does the posture and expression on the face of the woman sitting just ahead of your young’ens seem to be telling the entire days story in mere seconds?

Hmmm....yeah, that about sums it up.

Hold the phone… that picture tells a completely different story.

Actually… that one photograph may just have salvaged the entire day.

If nothing else, we're experts at making the best out of any situation.

OK… Mach-3 minus Mach-1… Ummmm. Barry! I think your going over the speed limit just a might.

It's only illegal if you get caught.

Yep! That one looks to be awesome. Next trip maybe?

You know, now that you mention it, Bambi and I did ride it. We waited probably 90 minutes. No wonder I blocked it from my memory.

but this is starting to get old.

Tell me about it. We were hanging around their kiddie area and Evan was next to get on whatever ride he was in line for when they shut it down.

And that picture says much as well

Hummmm… OK, I’ll read the next one, but…
that’s a tall order right there (which means it must have been something mightily amazing indeed).

Or it's just a major tease to get you to hang around. I guess you'll have to wait and see...

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Want to come help with my dining room when you get done?

Sure. I'll even work for beer.
But you have to pay travel expenses.

That's a shame, I really like BG.

I don't think we were the target demographic. That and we're too cheap to pay for their head of the line access pass.

That's odd, it already looks like it should be one of the better days of the vacation.

Well, it wasn't all bad.

I don't even want to know the details.

Yeah, you probably don't.

Ok, now I'm disappointed.

Just keeping you guys on your toes.

Ok, but you still could have done better.

This coming from the guy without a single pun in his TR?

I hope the plastic ones in your yard smell better though.

I spray them with the "Flamingo poo in a can", but it's just not the same.

It is officially a FreezinRafiki TR update now.

That's a great picture.

Thanks!

Exactly... How could this day possibly be that bad????

Unless of course you got to see SheiKra as you walked past without riding.

As I mentioned to Rob, Bambi and I did ride it. It was good, but not worth the 90+ minute wait.

Blasphemy!

I guess you'll just have to keep reading.

I'm sorry your BG experience wasn't great. I could see how it could be disappointing with kids though. I really think of it as about a half day park myself. Get there early, hit the big coasters, leave, so I guess I understand why you feel the way you do about it. It will always be a special park to me though. The Scorpion is the first looping coaster I ever rode.

If you're willing to pay the extra $$ for their head of the line pass, it really could be a 1/2 day. We really wanted to ride their new Cheeta Hunt coaster, but the line was over 2 hours.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Looks great, too. Are you available to help finish my basement?

OK, I'm going to level with you guys. I really don't know what I'm doing. But I can fake it with the best of them. That being said, sure I'll help.

No one got a brain cloud, either?

Well, it's been 6 months and we're all still here, so I guess not.

The nerve. Do you have a false-bottomed backpack, or stroller?

They check all of those. I used my invisibility cloak.

They seem to be good at making friends quickly. Or so I've heard.

It takes two to tango. Or is it 5? I guess it depends on how many kids there are.

He's the one who smuggled in the ice water, isn't he?

My lawyer has instructed me not to answer.

Sort of like Rafiki's Planet Watch, then?

Hey, leave the baboon out of this. (But kind of, yes)

You're from Austria? Have another shrimp on the barbie!

Just when I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

But the plastic kind won't poop all over your lawn.

I get that in a can too

Others will groan. I salute you, sir. I would have attempted the exact same thing.

Thank you.
It takes a true literary genius to properly pull that off. Clearly I blew it. How do you think you'd do?

That about sums it up, doesn't it?

It's all right there on the map. And maps don't lie. (Chicago CTA not withstanding)

That does sound pretty cool, actually.

I though you'd like that. And yes, yes it is.

How is that possible? Spill it!

The schtick was it was some kind of race where one of the drivers didn't come back, so we had to go find him. We ended up finding him sleeping in the back of his truck literally 20 feet from the loading area. And our driver was soooo enthusiastic about it.

This is the same phone that pulled up a map of Chicago bus stops?

Ummmm...let me talk to my lawyer again before I answer.

Hop right on, kids! Sign this form first.

Hey kid, you're small. Can you crawl under there and how much ware is on that bearing?

Can't blame you there.

Yup.

There definitely appears to have been scattered weather over the greater Tampa area.

I'll let Rob take this one...

Not to mention indoor rides and attractions.

Those certainly help!

 

[FreezinRafiki]

I havn’t heard that line in a long time… a long time…


So…. Do you know who “Peter Schickele” is, or did you hear that one from somewhere else?

“Those of you who have looked out of your windows this morning have probably been surprised to see that there is no weather today. This unusual condition is due to a surprise wildcat strike by members of the Weather Bureau Employees Union, local 30.2 and falling, and is expected to continue through tomorrow night the possibility of clearing up by Friday. Some members, however, have said that they intend to cross the picket line. So, our forecast for today and tomorrow is for scattered weather over the greater Hoople area."​

That is EXACTLY where that reference came from. Well done. I didn't expect anyone would know their PDQ Bach!

I’ve even read “The Unofficial Biography”.

Here’s how bad it gets…
For my 18th birthday, my parents even bought me a handful of tickets to see a live concert of “Professor Schickele” conducting the Charlotte Symphony Orchestra through a number of the better opuses in the PDQ Bach catalog.

When they recreated the “Sportscast” of the battle between the conductor and the orchestra as they fought through Beethoven’s Fifth (penalties and all)… The laughter was so hard that we were fighting for air.

That skit is the reason I got the album--one of the funniest and most inspired comedy bits I've ever heard. The way they call the "action" is brilliant.

I can say that I've never heard of Peter Schickele or PDQ Bach, but after reading this and my own research on Wikipedia, I think I'll have to track down some of his work.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Loved the updates of the fireworks. While it looked really busy, you guys seemed to have found a nice spot to watch them... you even had chairs!

It's all in the planning!

RUT ROH!

We are flying into Tampa in April to spend Easter with Melody's grandfather. I was thinking about a day trip to Busch Gardens.... Hummmmmm.....

You can still have a good time, just don't try to compare it to Disney. Accept it for what it is, do your planning and it can still be a pretty good day.

We do the same thing... glad you didn't get caught. I hear they like to tar and feather people like you.

I have a feeling the teenager working the gate could have cared less if we had openly carried in 5 gallon water cooler bottles.

Is that biker Grover? Looks like he has grown a mohawk and a mullet since the last time I've seen him.

He's fallen in with the wrong crowd. I didn't check, but I'm pretty sure Zoe has a butterfly tramp stamp.

That's one for the wall.

They were probably trying to stay away from the sweaty humans.

We did have a bit of a smell about us.

Man you are bitter!

AND STAY OFF MY LAWN!

I've been to Busch Gardens in Virginia and I remember the park had themes... kinda like the WS in Epcot. I wonder what happened to the FLorida BG?

It has themes. They're just not a cool as Disney's.

Are you sure it wasn't the Shakira???

I would have remembered that.

You should join the BG marketing department!

Next year's slogan: "Ah, just go to Disney World"

That sounds like a killer job!

You going to apply?

I do see a smile in that picture... it couldn't been all bad.

If you don't find the silver linings, you'll go insane. Not how she made sure to get the Disney Parks logo on the umbrella in the shot.

Wow. Alright. Well that seems disappointing. I hate the "no outside food and drink rule". If they're going to price-gouge you on a petting zoo, seriously, I'm bringing in my Poland Spring.

Yeah! Fight the Power!

That's pretty stormy-looking weather overhead.... I wonder what happens there if it DOES actually rain.

Pandemonium!

I am from NY so I will say it is not NY pizza but 5.99 for a large 1 topping feed everyone and I throw in some cheesy or cinnamon bread and we get a couple of meals for under $10.00

Can't beat that!

 

[petals]

I like your Seasame street joke.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

I like your Seasame street joke.

Thank you! It's hard to find people that appreciate fine humor around here!

 

[FreezinRafiki]

After the decidedly meh day that was Busch Gardens, we had a full day waiting ahead of us on July 6th. On tap for the morning was something completely new for us, yet completely old for Central Florida. Gatorland was started in 1949 - well before Walt Disney even built his first theme park in California, let alone swamp land in Florida. It's still run by the family of it's founder, Owen Godwin and is dripping in what you constantly hear about as "Old Florida".
Located only about 20 minutes east of Disney World, Gatorland is 110 acres of...um...of...well, their website says "theme park and wildlife preserve...with thousands of alligators and crocodiles, a breeding marsh with boardwalk and observation tower, one-of-a-kind reptilian shows, aviary, petting zoo, swamp walk, educational programs and much, much more"
Well, there you have it. Enough yakkin'. Time for some action.

We arrived just as the park opened for the day (Hey, despite not being at Disney, Rope Drop still matters). We posed for some pictures with the giant alligator mouth which used to be the main entrance until a fire destroyed much of the welcome desk/gift shop area in 2006. It's been rebuilt, but the mouth is now just a decoration, as opposed to when it previously had an actual function.

One of things I liked the best about Gatorland is that it doesn't take itself too seriously. It's kitschy, and it knows it. Yes, it does serve a very noble purpose as a wildlife refuge and education center, but it doesn't let that define it. You'll see more as we go along.

For exaaaaaaaample:

We paid our admission (Around $25 per adult, $16 for kids and FREE parking!) walked through the gates are were met by this sight:

Well, it's Gatorland, you shouldn't be surprised to see gators. Lots of em.

More "we don't take ourselves too seriously" proof:

The first section of Gatorland is laid out as a series of elevated boardwalks over large pools. Gators of different ages & sizes inhabited the different sections of water. Other species were hanging around too, such as turtles, or "pillows" in alligator speak.

Know how some places have signs that say "No Trespassing. Violators will be prosecuted"? I actually believe this sign.

Just past the gator pools was a boardwalk of sorts. Interspersed with educational areas and other Gatorland-run booths, it appeared they had outside vendors set up shop selling things like fudge, hand squeezed lemonade, and a coffee shop. Interesting...

Along the boardwalk, we came across a flock of birds.

I used to be able to do this. Until the "incident". I don't like to talk about it.

Inside a building knows as the White Alligator Swamp, we came across four of these big fellers:

I know what you're thinking. "Holy cow! An Albino Alligator!" And as poetic as the alliteration in that phrase might be, it's also wrong. These are leucistic alligators. Albinism affects all of an animal's pigment. Leucistism only affects some of the pigmentation, thus their eyes are blue as opposed to normally red eyes of albinos. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!

Alligator Jaws!

Chester was being a bit camera shy today, so I didn't get a good picture of him. We could see him, lurking just under the water's surface. At 13 1/2 feet long and 1,000 pounds, he is the reason that if I hit a golf ball into a water hazard in Florida, it stays there. This guy is massive.

Along about now, we headed over to the Gator Wrestling ring for the 'Rasslin show.

The ring is a sandy island surrounded by a moat with 4 or 5 alligators in it. Covered bleachers extend up on all 4 sides. The show is fully of comedy and puns, but also informative. The two hosts explained the origin of the term "Florida Cracker" came from Florida's cattle ranching past. Cowboys would use bullwhips to make a loud crack sound to keep the heard moving during cattle drives. Also on these cattle drives, cows would stop to take a drink at streams or ponds, where hungry alligators would jump up and eat them. Clearly, if alligators were eating your cattle, you couldn't sell said cattle and your business would fail. So ranch owners would have their ranch hands jump into the water before the cows, grab the gators by the tail, and pull them out so the cattle could drink. And thus, Gator Rasslin was invented. Or so the story goes.

So one of the hosts did just that. The reached into the moat, grabbed a gator by the tail, and dragged it up into the show ring. They then gave a quick biology overview of the animals, including the heavy, whip-like tail and the powerful jaws. One host asked, by a show of the audiences' hands, what we thought the most dangerous part of a gator was - the teeth or the tail. The results were split pretty evenly. Until the gentleman on the gator's back mentioned - that yes, the tail is a very effective weapon. But look at where exactly I'm paying attention to. Point taken, sir. Point well taken.

The then demonstrated several things about the animal's powerful jaws. For example, almost all of the muscles in the jaw are designed to clamp shut. They have very few muscles that are used to open their jaws, thus it takes very little effort to hold one's mouth closed.

They then went on to describe a debate that had raged in the scientific community regarding which jaw actually opened - the top or the bottom. Well, he went on, the professionals here a Gatorland came up with a way to demonstrate, once and for all, that it was the bottom jaw that opened. And that was to hold the top jaw steady and see what happened.

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

They then went on to dispel the myth that you can outrun an alligator by zig-zagging. Alligators are built strong and low to the ground, so they can zig-zag better than any human. (Just trip the person running next to you and you'll be fine.) You can, however, get one to fall asleep by rolling it over onto it's back. Yup, you heard me. If a gator is chasing you, flip it over and within a few seconds, it's nighty-night gator.

And if you think that's weird, you should see how they wake them up. Just a little tickle down in it's nether regions and he'll wake right up and roll back over. You just can't make this stuff up, folks.

And with that, the Rasslin show was over. And people that bought the extra add on ticket that allowed them to get their picture Rasslin a gator were invited to come on down and line up. Are these people serious? Voluntarily getting into an enclosed ring with live alligators? And then sitting on one? Are you nuts?

Yes, yes we are.

And no, neither kid had any hesitation about running in there and jumping on the back of that gator. They make their daddy so proud!

Coming Up Next You think the guys getting into a semi-controlled ring with 6 foot gators were dumb? Wait till you get a load of these guys...

 

[afwdwfan]

a breeding marsh with boardwalk and observation tower

That doesn't sound very family friendly.

(Hey, despite not being at Disney, Rope Drop still matters).

Know how some places have signs that say "No Trespassing. Violators will be prosecuted"? I actually believe this sign.

I know what you're thinking. "Holy cow! An Albino Alligator!" And as poetic as the alliteration in that phrase might be, it's also wrong. These are leucistic alligators. Albinism affects all of an animal's pigment. Leucistism only affects some of the pigmentation, thus their eyes are blue as opposed to normally red eyes of albinos. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!

I'm shocked! I can't believe you put educational content in your TR!!!

The show is fully of comedy and puns

And now we know why you went.

So ranch owners would have their ranch hands jump into the water before the cows, grab the gators by the tail, and pull them out so the cattle could drink. And thus, Gator Rasslin was invented. Or so the story goes.

Stories like that are always true.

I highly doubt many ranchers would pay their hands enough to jump in the water and grab a gator. More likely they just got bigger guns.

But look at where exactly I'm paying attention to. Point taken, sir. Point well taken.

No kidding. That tail might knock you down, but it isn't going to rip your arm off.

They then went on to dispel the myth that you can outrun an alligator by zig-zagging.

How exactly did they demonstrate this? If you get a gator to chase you, how do you get it to stop without becoming lunch?

If a gator is chasing you, flip it over and within a few seconds, it's nighty-night gator.

If a gator is chasing me, I don't want to let it get close enough to flip it over.

Just a little tickle down in it's nether regions and he'll wake right up and roll back over. You just can't make this stuff up, folks.

And no, neither kid had any hesitation about running in there and jumping on the back of that gator. They make their daddy so proud!

Cool pictures.

Interesting look at Gatorland. I've heard of it, but never been there. I always just thought it was some kind of a tourist trap. It looks like it actually does have some educational and entertainment value to it though.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Located only about 20 minutes east of Disney World, Gatorland is 110 acres of...um...of...well, their website says "theme park and wildlife preserve...with thousands of alligators and crocodiles, a breeding marsh with boardwalk and observation tower, one-of-a-kind reptilian shows, aviary, petting zoo, swamp walk, educational programs and much, much more."

I doubt I ever would have given the place a look, but now you have me intrigued.

It's been rebuilt, but the mouth is now just a decoration, as opposed to when it previously had an actual function.

You'd think they would have re-built it to open and close...

One of things I liked the best about Gatorland is that it doesn't take itself too seriously. It's kitschy, and it knows it. Yes, it does serve a very noble purpose as a wildlife refuge and education center, but it doesn't let that define it. You'll see more as we go along.

The signs are awesome. Any place that doesn't take itself seriously gets major bonus points.

FREE parking!

Know how some places have signs that say "No Trespassing. Violators will be prosecuted"? I actually believe this sign.

You could still send Evan as a scout, just to make sure.

Just past the gator pools was a boardwalk of sorts. Interspersed with educational areas and other Gatorland-run booths, it appeared they had outside vendors set up shop selling things like fudge, hand squeezed lemonade, and a coffee shop. Interesting...

Downtown Gatorland?

I used to be able to do this. Until the "incident". I don't like to talk about it.

So it WAS you, then.

I know what you're thinking. "Holy cow! An Albino Alligator!" And as poetic as the alliteration in that phrase might be, it's also wrong. These are leucistic alligators. Albinism affects all of an animal's pigment. Leucistism only affects some of the pigmentation, thus their eyes are blue as opposed to normally red eyes of albinos. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!

This is both interesting and cool. Oh, and Yo Joe!

And thus, Gator Rasslin was invented. Or so the story goes.

I suppose that could be it. Or, 2 idiots got liquored up, and one lost a bet.

Until the gentleman on the gator's back mentioned - that yes, the tail is a very effective weapon. But look at where exactly I'm paying attention to. Point taken, sir. Point well taken.

Yeah, the movie isn't called "Tail", it's called "Jaws". And it's not about alligators. But still.

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Yes, that was the first word that came to mind.

If a gator is chasing you, flip it over and within a few seconds, it's nighty-night gator.

Cool! And here I thought the solution was just to run faster than the other guy with you.

And if you think that's weird, you should see how they wake them up. Just a little tickle down in it's nether regions and he'll wake right up and roll back over. You just can't make this stuff up, folks.

I would think that would wake a lot of creatures up.

And no, neither kid had any hesitation about running in there and jumping on the back of that gator. They make their daddy so proud!

These pictures are full of awesome! (thumbs)

 

[Stringbean&Wingnut]

OMG you went to Gatorland!!! Ok. I'm sorry I'm THIS excited. But there's a bit by comedian Gabriel Iglesias where he talks about Gatorland, and here it is, and he talks about the message on their answering machine. DBF and I actually called them awhile back just to see if it's really like that....IT IS!!! I love it.

I love that the park doesn't really take itself THAT seriously either. That's fantastic. And Madison and Evan are pretty much the bravest people ever. You'd never catch me sitting on an alligator!!!

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

On tap for the morning was something completely new for us, yet completely old for Central Florida. Gatorland…

A classic!

It's still run by the family of it's founder, Owen Godwin and is dripping in what you constantly hear about as "Old Florida".

Translation: “kitsch”.

We lived in South Fla. between 1968 and 1976. I had the chance to see much kitsch in that time but sadly a great deal of that now exists only in old photographs (and has been replaced mostly by “sameness”). I’m glad y’all took time to go to this questionab… I mean… venerable establishment.

Enough yakkin'. Time for some action.

Agreed… but doesn’t that actually invalidate the entire concept of a TR?

I’m glad they saved the jaws after the fire, but I do wish they’d have maintained is as the entrance in the new building.

One of things I liked the best about Gatorland is that it doesn't take itself too seriously.

I’d never have guessed that…

It's kitschy, and it knows it.

Always be true to yourself (and add bad jokes and awful puns whenever possible).

We paid our admission (Around $25 per adult, $16 for kids and FREE parking!)

Not toooooo bad on the admission. The parking fee is certainly better then the one charged at some “higher brow facilities”.

Other species were hanging around too, such as turtles, or "pillows" in alligator speak.

Just past the gator pools was a boardwalk of sorts. Interspersed with educational areas and other Gatorland-run booths, it appeared they had outside vendors set up shop selling things like fudge, hand squeezed lemonade, and a coffee shop.

Yep… nothing screams Alligator-Mississippiensis like fudge, lemonade and coffee. Missed the mark a bit on that one.

I repeat: “Always be true to yourself (and add bad jokes and awful puns whenever possible).”

But then again… that particular rule of life is superseded by the rule that states: “Always make more money”.

I used to be able to do this. Until the "incident". I don't like to talk about it.

Well… you brought it up

I know what you're thinking. "Holy cow! An Albino Alligator!"

Nope… it’s got spots. There has to be a different explanation.
Now listen up class, I’m sure “Professor Rafiki” will s’plain it all to us.

Leucistism only affects some of the pigmentation

There we go… spots… s’plained

the 'Rasslin show.

And now for the cultural part of the expedition.

The show is fully of comedy and puns, but also informative.

See… That’s culture!

So ranch owners would have their ranch hands jump into the water before the cows, grab the gators by the tail, and pull them out so the cattle could drink. And thus, Gator Rasslin was invented. Or so the story goes.

Now, if the “owner” were to have me jump in after the gator to protect “his” cows… then once got back out of the water… those cows would be “mine” daddy-o.

Your cows… you do it.

One host asked, by a show of the audiences' hands, what we thought the most dangerous part of a gator was - the teeth or the tail.

The business end of course.


Nooooo… not that kind of business, the other business end
(Good Lord get your minds out of the gutter… what is this? Third Grade?)

But look at where exactly I'm paying attention to.

That’s what I said.

They then went on to dispel the myth that you can outrun an alligator by zig-zagging.

Mythbusters!!!
No… really… they tried to take a bite out of that myth.
Google it.

(Just trip the person running next to you and you'll be fine.)

It’s like the rules governing angry momma bears.
You don’t have to be fastest, but you can’t be slowest.

You can, however, get one to fall asleep by rolling it over onto it's back.

So who do you figure it was that said to himself (we know it was a “him”; women are smarter then this)… who said to himself: “Self… I just wonder what would happen if I were to walk over there and roll that alligator over on its back”.

Just a little tickle down in it's nether regions and he'll wake right up and roll back over.

That’s a discovery!
I’d have thunk that one would be rather obvious.

You just can't make this stuff up, folks.

Well… I give you credit for actually having plenty of skill in the “make stuff up” department. I mean, seriously… we all discuss the Minivan of Doom as if it were an actual device capable of the magnificent feats to which you’ve previously ascribed it (other then the “doom” part that is… that one I buy without question).

OK… now that just simply ROCKS!

Wait till you get a load of these guys...

So said the Joker... (sort’a)

 

[chloe770]

Gatorland looks like a whole lot of mindless fun. And the gator pictures reminded me of the day I got to do this

So, no. I don't think your nuts. Would totally hang with that gator too

 

[petals]

Thank you! It's hard to find people that appreciate fine humor around here!

Well I'm Irish and they say we have a um different sense of humour than the rest of the world.

Two examples. I was the only one laughing at the jokes on our Jungle Cruise last November.

And I also loled at such as turtles, or "pillows" in alligator speak. with the pic underneath

I do like your puns

 

[FreezinRafiki]

That doesn't sound very family friendly.

The water is murky, so you can't really see anything.

I'm shocked! I can't believe you put educational content in your TR!!!

There's been plenty of educational content before this. I just presented it to you in a way that made learning fun! Or at least tolerable. Ok, you've probably repressed them as horrible memories.

And now we know why you went.

It was like the Jungle Cruise, except with more alligators.

Stories like that are always true.

I never bothered to check Wikipedia to verify the story. But I've never been lied to by a guy sitting on an alligator before...
I highly doubt many ranchers would pay their hands enough to jump in the water and grab a gator. More likely they just got bigger guns.

No kidding. That tail might knock you down, but it isn't going to rip your arm off.

Those things would be nasty if they had teeth on their tails, too.

How exactly did they demonstrate this? If you get a gator to chase you, how do you get it to stop without becoming lunch?

Liberal amounts of alcohol. If the gator gets you, you've at least marinated your liver for him.

If a gator is chasing me, I don't want to let it get close enough to flip it over.

No one said it was a good idea.

Cool pictures.

Thank you!

Interesting look at Gatorland. I've heard of it, but never been there. I always just thought it was some kind of a tourist trap. It looks like it actually does have some educational and entertainment value to it though.

The best stuff is still to come!

I doubt I ever would have given the place a look, but now you have me intrigued.

I was skeptical at first too, but Bambi's dad had been there before and was really excited about taking us and the kids.

You'd think they would have re-built it to open and close...

They would need an engineer for that. Care to take on the project?

The signs are awesome. Any place that doesn't take itself seriously gets major bonus points.

I have more signs coming up too!

You could still send Evan as a scout, just to make sure.

I wouldn't want him to hurt the gators. They'd probably charge us for the vet bills.

Downtown Gatorland?

Kind of. But without the spitting Stitch.

So it WAS you, then.

I said I'm not talking about it.

This is both interesting and cool. Oh, and Yo Joe!

I knew I could count on you for that.

I suppose that could be it. Or, 2 idiots got liquored up, and one lost a bet.

Alcohol: liquid courage. Now if you could only mix in a few shots of common sense.

Yeah, the movie isn't called "Tail", it's called "Jaws". And it's not about alligators. But still.

It's not even the Jaws so much as the teeth. It would be pretty embarrassing to be gummed to death by a gator. Or a shark.

Yes, that was the first word that came to mind.

Did I mention that these guys talked with thick southern accents? Not that that's really relavent or anything. Just an observation.

Cool! And here I thought the solution was just to run faster than the other guy with you.

Nah, that's just an old wive's tale. Flipping them over is the way to go.

I would think that would wake a lot of creatures up.

Not sure I can comment on this without being banned from the DIS.

These pictures are full of awesome! (thumbs)

Thanks!