2 am -- rough day yesterday...

[TuckandStuiesMom]

Had to take my mom's old pug-dog to the vet's to be put to sleep -- her hip dysplasia took a major turn for the worse on the 4th and she was in a lot of pain. This dog was my mom's constant companion and best friend for 10 years and even though I can't say I liked the dog all that much (she was sometimes nippy, not 100% reliable with her bathroom habits, and would help herself to whatever food was on the table when nobody was looking), I'm feeling kinda philosophical and sad right now.
My poor mom wasn't emotionally up to taking the dog in. She said her goodbyes at home and so the task itself, fell to my oldest son and me. My son drove the car and I held the poor old thing in my lap. (She had always hated the dog-carrier so it just didn't seem right to inflict that indignity on her under the circumstances.)
The people at the vet's were very kind and we were with her through the end. It was a peaceful death and surprisingly, a cool gentle rain was falling as we left the building to go home. My son and I were both crying a little so the rain felt good.
I wish now that I could have / would have liked the dog more in life. The dog was just what she was -- it was really up to me to reach beyond myself, to be able to see what was good about her, and to have appreciated those things. I guess this applies to the people I find difficult in my life too. Right now, I'm feeling a smallish, regret-ringed, dog-sized hole in my life. I'd hate to think how sad I'd be right now, if that hole was man, woman, or child-sized.

 

[OrlandoMike]

It's always a sad day when you have to make this decision. But rest assured you made the right one. Give it a few weeks and maybe your Mom will be ready for another companion.

 

[Viki]

Oh, hon, I am so sorry ...we love our pets; they are definitely members of our family, but if it helps at all we had a golden retriever that I never bonded with - she was just too freaky and despite lots of attempts, we couldn't really get her trained well enough for me (she would try to bite the kids)- but when we had to make the decision to put her down, when she was only five and paralyzed from two many uncontrollable seizures, I was heartbroken and regretful ...

 

[unfreshdiva1]

 

[I<3EvilQueen]

*Me and my Boston hug you*

 

[rosiep]

Sometimes things like this are a great wake up call...we realize just how much we take for granted in the things we love, and we also realize how much we're missing out on by not given other things a chance.
My daughter has a cat that she left with us while she's in NY.
I was never fond of this cat; it's skittish, leaves hairballs everywhere and it just drove me crazy.......until recently. She had a huge gash on her back and we took her for stitches only to have her tear them open the following day....back to the vet, more stitches..a draining tube, antibiotics the whole shabang. I felt so tenderly for that darn cat! Made me feel like such a heel for all the times I ignored her ( the fact is she would run away if you came in the room). Having no choice, I'd wrap her in a blanket to give her her meds, and sing to her softly to try and keep her calm.
I'd be a great big liar is I told you we're best buddys now, but she will come sit in my lap...something she never did before. And I've learned to be more gentler with her.
My thoughts are with you today. Please don't be hard on yourself....you sound like a wonderful, (took care of things for your mom didn't you) and thoughtful person.

 

[Boston5602]

My two pugs and I want to tell you how sorry we are for you and your Mom's loss. As you said the pug was who she was , but you are who you are too . so don't punish your self to much.

Each and every dog has its own personality , thats what makes me love them so.

 

[TuckandStuiesMom]

You people are wonderful friends. I love all of you.

 

[Kevin&Randall]

From Kevin & Randall & Ginger

We know what you are going through. Take a few deep breaths. Realize your mother and you will have a few hard days. And remember we are here for you.

 

[Saxton]

I'm so sorry for you and your Mom. Sometimes we connect with certain people or animals and sometimes we don't. The important thing is that you recognized the value that your Mom's dog had to her and you had compassion at the end. Don't beat yourself up.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

It's hard. {{{Hugs}}}

My Father's Mother and I never got on very well. She didn't like little girls. So, I grew up to be a woman that didn't much like her.

When she died, I regretted not having had the relationship that I thought we should have had. Now I realize that we had the only relationship we could have had.

Doesn't change that it wasn't the best relationship, but does help to make sense of it after many years.

Same with the little pug. You had what you had. Good that you and your son were there for your Mom. {{{hugs}}}

 

[TuckandStuiesMom]

OMIGOSH! I thought I had thanked everybody in a final post for their kindness and now see that I didn't...
EVERYBODY -- Thank you so much for your sympathy and personal stories -- I can't possibly tell you how much your words meant. I am fine now and my mom is doing MUCH MUCH better. She's been out sitting on the porch for the last two afternoons, watching some half-grown semi-wild kittens play in the neighbors' yard. She's really been enjoying it so I have great hopes of her having second thoughts about NO MORE PETS EVER AGAIN. I guess time will tell.
Anyways -- THANKS AGAIN!