18 yr old is suing parents for college education

[Lorelei Lee]

Everyone here seems to be taking the part of the parents and views the girl as spoiled and entitled. And you may be right.

But on the other hand, she has convinced her friend's father (an attorney) and at least one teacher in school that she is right. Indeed, the attorney put up his own money for this suit. He has nothing to gain from this unless he thinks he can make out a case.


While the issue may be novel under New Jersey law . . .the issues it raises aren't as unique as you might think.


THere have been lots of cases where the parent claims they no longer have a support obligation because the child emancipated him or herself, and where the child claims the parent threw them out. Sometimes the parent wins. Sometimes the child wins.

We don't know what went on behind closed doors.

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[okeydokey]

Of course the friends father is a lawyer. Amazing what some people will sue over. It seems he is egging her on, looking for a fight.

If the girl moved out because she didn't want to follow house rules, then that was her choice and as an 18 year old she was able to do that. Now she can live with the consequences of her actions.

 

[arminnie]

Wish they would name the schools where she has been accepted.

 

[Janepod]

Everyone here seems to be taking the part of the parents and views the girl as spoiled and entitled. And you may be right.

But on the other hand, she has convinced her friend's father (an attorney) and at least one teacher in school that she is right. Indeed, the attorney put up his own money for this suit. He has nothing to gain from this unless he thinks he can make out a case.


While the issue may be novel under New Jersey law . . .the issues it raises aren't as unique as you might think.


THere have been lots of cases where the parent claims they no longer have a support obligation because the child emancipated him or herself, and where the child claims the parent threw them out. Sometimes the parent wins. Sometimes the child wins.

We don't know what went on behind closed doors.

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How much do you want to bet the dad/attorney is the boyfriend?

 

[Poohforyou]

We're in NJ and this was all over talk radio today. It boils down to my house, my rules. The parents aren't being abusive.

There is hope for her though. I have a niece who pulled crap like this once she turned 18 but was still in hs. She's now 25 and is an army nurse. Luckily her parents left the door open for her to come home and they have a good relationship now.

 

[StephMK]

I have to wonder about the family that took this kid in-it's one thing to open your home, it's another thing entirely to encourage her to pursue a lawsuit like this (and front her over 12K). this story has been covered on other sites, and universally the daughter is getting slammed-I have to wonder if some of the colleges and universities that have sent her acceptance letters may reconsider (not exactly the kind of shining example of a student you would want representing your school).

ITA! I would be interested to hear why he chose to front that kind of money. Is he hoping for a landmark case to make a name? He is not the attorney, at least not in the original article, so what does he stand to gain unless it is his firm? For the reasons given, I cannot understand how she has a chance.

This is a semi-local story. Here are a couple other local news articles on this:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/n-honor-student-sues-parents-cut-age-18-suit-article-1.1709440

From the article above (which is long) I highlighted this bolded point below:




Then there is this news article (also long): (bolding mine)

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/03/03/n-j-teen-sues-parents-claims-she-was-booted-from-house-denied-college-money/




I think she is an entitled, spoiled brat who is staying with an attorney who saw mega-dollar signs and is representing her to make money. Wouldn't the daughter still owe him the legal fees after she is laughed out of court?

They better kick this out of court or we have a VERY scary precedent.

I agree. DD20 has "our" car - we have told her numerous times - it is OUR car that we are giving you exclusive permission to use, provided rules are followed and we don't need it. She was not allowed to have it at college her freshman year. If she ever got out of control, we would definitely take it back, along with our payment of her college tuition.

Can somebody answer a question for me because I can't come up with an answer. Since when does "support" mean that you get everything you want? That the parents have to pay for her tuition at the school of her choice suppose she chooses Harvard or Columbia, the parents are supposed to sell their home to give her what she wants? I don't think she is going to win, only reason is the parents don't seem to have a problem paying just not paying what she wants. S

I don't know and it will be really interesting to follow this case!

I can almost see where she has the case that they should continue her HS tuition until graduation but since when are parents obligated in any way to pay for college, of any kind? Unless she earned or inherited that money somehow and they have kept it in their names, I don't see that she has any claim to anything they put aside for her college.

 

[kellyg403]

I don't get how she thinks she is old enough to make the choice to have a boyfriend and not live at home yet is not mature enough to take care of herself financially.

Sorry, I don't get it. If she can't get the money to go to a private school, I am sure that she can go to a community college. Truth be known, if I was her parent that is the most I would offer to her anyway. She seems a bit spoiled.

As for the lawyer dad. Hope that what goes around comes around.

And the car thing I don't how the court could actually say a car that they own in their names belongs to anyone but them. Is she also suing for gas, maintenance, insurance etc etc etc.


Kelly

 

[Bluestars]

She sounds like a manipulating, spoiled girl. She has a history of emotional problems and trouble at school. She was suspended twice from school, ignored her curfew, and bullied her sister. Her parents wanted her to stop seeing a guy who they felt was a bad influence. It was her choice to not follow their rules, so they should not be responsible for her. Even so, they said that they will pay for college, just not something expensive. That is their choice.

The friend's dad/attorney butted in to a situation that didn't concern him and is enabling a spoiled brat. I'll bet the girl very good at manipulating people.

 

[Imzadi]

Maybe the friend's lawyer dad should have just given her the 12,000 he spent on the lawsuit. That would definately help her in the future. I'd love to be on that jury.
Ridiculous!

The friend's lawyer father didn't SPEND $12,000, he's the lawyer, He MAKES $12,000 on this case. He didn't take it on pro bono, meaning free to the daughter. He is CHARGING her. He gets that money even if he loses the case. She will have to pay him back.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

The friend's lawyer father didn't SPEND $12,000, he's the lawyer, He MAKES $12,000 on this case. He didn't take it on pro bono, meaning free to the daughter. He is CHARGING her. He gets that money even if he loses the case. She will have to pay him back.

Same difference.





Personal injury attorney work on a contingency fee basis. They won't take a case unless they think they can win or get a settlement.


The attorney in this case is investing his time. If his normal billing rate is, say, $400 an hour, how many hours of work would $12k pay for? Hours that he can't bill to someone else? As a practical matter he won't get paid unless he wins the case.

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[4luv2cdisney]

The friend's lawyer father didn't SPEND $12,000, he's the lawyer, He MAKES $12,000 on this case. He didn't take it on pro bono, meaning free to the daughter. He is CHARGING her. He gets that money even if he loses the case. She will have to pay him back.

Yeah, well I would be surprised if her really made her pay it if she loses.


Just curious, as it seems like most of you are easily siding with the parents, (and I am just picking out one part of the situation) but do any of you think (in general) it's unreasonable to make breaking up with a boyfriend a part of the "house rules"?

 

[Bluestars]

Yeah, well I would be surprised if her really made her pay it if she loses.


Just curious, as it seems like most of you are easily siding with the parents, (and I am just picking out one part of the situation) but do any of you think (in general) it's unreasonable to make breaking up with a boyfriend a part of the "house rules"?

Not if the boyfriend is doing drugs, abusive, illegally consuming alcohol, etc. There are many reasons why the parents may feel this person is a bad influence on their daughter. As long as they are supporting her and she is living in their house, I feel they definitely have a right to lay down the rules. Whatever the reason, the parents feel that this boy is not good for their daughter. I think the parents most likely have legitimate concerns.

If their daughter has been suspended from school and has bullied her sister, her choice in guys is probably not that great.

 

[barkley]

Everyone here seems to be taking the part of the parents and views the girl as spoiled and entitled. And you may be right.

But on the other hand, she has convinced her friend's father (an attorney) and at least one teacher in school that she is right. Indeed, the attorney put up his own money for this suit. He has nothing to gain from this unless he thinks he can make out a case.


While the issue may be novel under New Jersey law . . .the issues it raises aren't as unique as you might think.


THere have been lots of cases where the parent claims they no longer have a support obligation because the child emancipated him or herself, and where the child claims the parent threw them out. Sometimes the parent wins. Sometimes the child wins.

We don't know what went on behind closed doors.

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

I think it will come down to how the girl left the home-and I find it contradictory that she's saying she was 'kicked out', but in her paperwork said she was advised not to return home by her catholic school (can't be both ways-either the home was available to her or it was not). since new jersey has emancipation laws that are totally alien to what I'm used to (and worked under for social services), I would be curious to know if since the state says an 18 year old isn't automatically emancipated as an adult, why since (according to the article) social services was involved in the couple of days prior to the girl turning 18 there was no report of child neglect (non support) in the months since (anyone know? does n.j. say a parent is financially responsible for the support of an 18 plus 'child' but stops short at saying that 'child' is the financial responsibility of the state in the case of parental abandonment?).


I dunno-this reminds me of when I worked IGAR (Information, Guidance and Referral) for DSS one summer-I answered SO MANY calls from teenagers who wanted to know how to apply for emancipation. when I would read the instructions to them they universally expressed shock that they couldn't become emancipated adults absent a means of financial support. they wanted to be adults with all the rights to make their own decisions BUT they strongly felt that because "I'm still a kid" either they could (1) get their own welfare check and food stamps, or (2) get child support (not for a child they had) for themselves.............from their parents ("until I'm an adult")

 

[EMode]

The friend's lawyer father didn't SPEND $12,000, he's the lawyer, He MAKES $12,000 on this case. He didn't take it on pro bono, meaning free to the daughter. He is CHARGING her. He gets that money even if he loses the case. She will have to pay him back.

This is from the article
Inglesino is funding the lawsuit and hired attorney Helfand, who included in the lawsuit a request that the parents pay their daughter's legal fees that so far total $12,597.

It sounds like he hired an attorney.

 

[barkley]

Yeah, well I would be surprised if her really made her pay it if she loses.


Just curious, as it seems like most of you are easily siding with the parents, (and I am just picking out one part of the situation) but do any of you think (in general) it's unreasonable to make breaking up with a boyfriend a part of the "house rules"?

her parents say they had her in therapy long before moving out, and there were some meds involved. if she was having disciplinary problems at school (including suspensions), bullying her sister, and other behavioral issues that may be effected by outside influences (like a boyfriend) it may have been a therapeutic recommendation that the parents take a stance-and draw a line in the sand as far as what they deemed as support vs. privilege (and an expensive private school along with the expenses of being a cheerleader and lacrosse player with a car of your own are hardly basic needs).

I know plenty of people whose parents had/have hard and fast rules to remain (as adults) living in their homes, and sometimes that can include not having a relationship with someone the parents see as a negative/disruptive influence.

 

[Imzadi]

Not if the boyfriend is doing drugs, abusive, illegally consuming alcohol, etc. There are many reasons why the parents may feel this person is a bad influence on their daughter. As long as they are supporting her and she is living in their house, I feel they definitely have a right to lay down the rules. Whatever the reason, the parents feel that this boy is not good for their daughter. I think the parents most likely have legitimate concerns.

If their daughter has been suspended from school and has bullied her sister, her choice in guys is probably not that great.

The father is an ex-police chief. So, he's seen criminals and a bad lot. I think it would take a lot for a cop to say no, he's not a good boyfriend.


I'm siding with the parents because when a child turns 18 and leaves the home, then they are responsible for their own lives.

College is a PRIVILEGE, not a right. I was lucky enough to have parents who funded our college. I got a partial scholarship to NYU, as they couldn't afford to pay the whole thing. I consider myself lucky and privileged to have gone there because of them. They didn't HAVE to pay towards my college - where ever I decided to go. And I know a lot of fellow students who didn't have parents paying for them. They worked during school and during the summer.

It's ridiculous to sue the parents. And as others have said, it will be a bad precedent. Other spoiled, entitled kids will be suing their parents for not providing an Xbox. When does it stop?

 

[lauradis]

Wow I guess im mean mom of the year.

You turn 18/19 finish high school and get one free summer on mom and dad.
You better have a plan. Come September your moving out.

Kitchen always open and you want to visit for week and crash her that's cool.

When do we expect our children to become adult and make grown up decisions with the repercussions that come with bad decisions?

I hope she gets a clue and the 12k bill lol with her bad decisions

 

[Lorelei Lee]

I think it will come down to how the girl left the home-and I find it contradictory that she's saying she was 'kicked out', but in her paperwork said she was advised not to return home by her catholic school (can't be both ways-either the home was available to her or it was not). since new jersey has emancipation laws that are totally alien to what I'm used to (and worked under for social services), I would be curious to know if since the state says an 18 year old isn't automatically emancipated as an adult, why since (according to the article) social services was involved in the couple of days prior to the girl turning 18 there was no report of child neglect (non support) in the months since (anyone know? does n.j. say a parent is financially responsible for the support of an 18 plus 'child' but stops short at saying that 'child' is the financial responsibility of the state in the case of parental abandonment?). I dunno-this reminds me of when I worked IGAR (Information, Guidance and Referral) for DSS one summer-I answered SO MANY calls from teenagers who wanted to know how to apply for emancipation. when I would read the instructions to them they universally expressed shock that they couldn't become emancipated adults absent a means of financial support. they wanted to be adults with all the rights to make their own decisions BUT they strongly felt that because "I'm still a kid" either they could (1) get their own welfare check and food stamps, or (2) get child support (not for a child they had) for themselves.............from their parents ("until I'm an adult")

Yes, it can be both ways. You kick someone out, tell them to never darken your doorstep again. But then you regret it, and ask them to return.

Do you have inside information, that you know for a fact social services didn't seek support for her? Or, if they didn't seek support, why?

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[Lorelei Lee]

http://theweek.com/article/index/204622/suing-dad-to-pay-for-college

Granted, the circumstances were different -- the father reneged on a promise to pay - but there is precedent for this kind of suit.

 

[Lorelei Lee]

And I couldn't find the original newspaper article, but this message board reported it.

https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-disc...-sues-mother-child-support.html#axzz2uxzbnVuf


This is not something new or novel.