15 yo boy going to be a father...wow

[ryka]

Yeah, but wouldn't that then be her responsibility too. She knows he doesn't want a kid, and she doesn't want a kid, so if he wants to ride bare back then she has to be able to say tough ****.

I was saying that he didn't tell her that he didn't want a kid. All he really wanted was sex and he knew that if all he had to do to get out of taking responsibility was say after the fact I told her I didn't want a kid. Then it is he said she said and he would get out of helping her.

I think they both have a responsibility and it shouldn't be about punishing one or the other. It should be all about the baby.

 

[andromedaslove]

I was saying that he didn't tell her that he didn't want a kid. All he really wanted was sex and he knew that if all he had to do to get out of taking responsibility was say after the fact I told her I didn't want a kid. Then it is he said she said and he would get out of helping her.

I think they both have a responsibility and it shouldn't be about punishing one or the other. It should be all about the baby.

Sorry, I guess I read that wrong. Oops I get what you are saying.

 

[ryka]

Sorry, I guess I read that wrong. Oops I get what you are saying.

No problem. I should have been more clear about it.

 

[momof2inPA]

Not sure if it's been mentioned as I haven't read this whole thread, but the girl could also be charged with statutory rape as she is 18 and he is only 15. Not sure of the rules in your state, but I believe that in most states it does not matter if it was consensual or not - it's still statutory rape.

And I agree with a paternity test too.

Is this true? In PA the age of consent is 16, but isn't there some rule about the perpetrator having to be 4 years older than the victim?

If it's statutory rape, he shouldn't be required to pay child support, because statutory rape is rape. Just because it doesn't involve force, that doesn't mean the older person can't exert pressure on a younger person that the younger person can't say "no" to. Also, if they meet the criteria for statutory rape, her suing him for child support would be considered an admission of the crime, and she could be sent to jail.

In reality, I think the parents of the boy will and should end up paying child support. If it were my son, and the girl was keeping the baby, I would try to make that baby and the girl as much a part of our family as possible, but it is a sad situation for everyone involved.

 

[poohandwendy]

Is this true? In PA the age of consent is 16, but isn't there some rule about the perpetrator having to be 4 years older than the victim?

If it's statutory rape, he shouldn't be required to pay child support, because statutory rape is rape. Just because it doesn't involve force, that doesn't mean the older person can't exert pressure on a younger person that the younger person can't say "no" to. Also, if they meet the criteria for statutory rape, her suing him for child support would be considered an admission of the crime, and she could be sent to jail.

In reality, I think the parents of the boy will and should end up paying child support. If it were my son, and the girl was keeping the baby, I would try to make that baby and the girl as much a part of our family as possible, but it is a sad situation for everyone involved.

I covered this earlier in the thread, but you are right...in PA the perp has to be 4 or more years older than the minor (under 16 yo) for it to be considered Statutory Sexual Assault (they don't call it rape anymore here, I guess).

So, none of that applies to this particular situation. I really doubt his family would go that route, anyways. Unless they felt she coerced him in some way, which is not the impression I get.

The weird thing is, he needs to get a job to pay child support and he isn't even old enough to get a job for a few months. Also, he will not be eligible to take his drivers test until after the baby is born.

FWIW, his mother is a single mother and I am not sure how much she blood they could get from that stone, but I think legally she can be forced to contribute to child support.

It does sound like the families are wroking out the details peacefully...with much more agreement of shared responsibility than is reflected on this thread, LOL That is the good news. I hope it continues to stay that way.

 

[andromedaslove]

Just wanted everyone here to know, for the sake of discussion, that I looked up the statutory rape laws in this state and this would not qualify. Actually, the statutory rape law was repealed...but this I found:

3122.1. Statutory sexual assault.

Except as provided in section 3121 (relating to rape), a person commits a felony of the second degree when that person engages in sexual intercourse with a complainant under the age of 16 years and that person is four or more years older than the complainant and the complainant and the person are not married to each other.

So, she was not committing a crime and knowing the boy involved and his family, I would be very surprised if they pushed that issue even if it were a crime.

Looks like statutory rape isn't apllicable here due to this law the OP found.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

The weird thing is, he needs to get a job to pay child support and he isn't even old enough to get a job for a few months. Also, he will not be eligible to take his drivers test until after the baby is born.

You know, I find this so sad and pathetic. Too young to drive, but not too young to impregnate his girlfriend.

 

[poohandwendy]

You know, I find this so sad and pathetic. Too young to drive, but not too young to impregnate his girlfriend.

I know...

And you know what? All the more reason for people to start having those talks...YOUNGER THAN YOU THINK THEY NEED THEM! (sorry to shout, but this is really important)

Everyone wants to believe 'not my child' and I am telling you all, this is not a bad kid or unusually mature...he got 'caught' doing what many, many other kids are doing.

Please talk to your kids, not just once (ie, ''the talk'')...this should be an open ended discussion that is ongoing...


(off my soapbox now)

 

[momof2inPA]

I covered this earlier in the thread, but you are right...in PA the perp has to be 4 or more years older than the minor (under 16 yo) for it to be considered Statutory Sexual Assault (they don't call it rape anymore here, I guess).

The DIS is really slow. I must have missed a page trying to read the thread. Anyway, it is sad. Should it really be the mom's responsibility to pay for her son's mistake, though? Isn't that like sending the parents to jail if their kid commits a crime?

OT- I had my nails done for the first time ever, yesterday, PAW. The process is a lot more complicated than I ever thought. I have to work a fundraiser and thought I should cover my unsightly nail biting habit from the public.

 

[va32h]

I would be really suspicious about this 18 year old girl.

First off - what does an 18 year old girl see in a 15 year old boy? At that age, boys are far less mature than girls that are their own age, much less older girls.

poohandwendy, do you know how long these kids were going out? My first thought was that the girl was already pregnant, and slept with this kid to put the resonsibility on him...my second thought was that she got pregnant on purpose.

Sad as that sounds, I do know teenage girls who got pregnant on purpose, for a variety of reasons ranging from "I thought it would be fun" to "so-and-so had a baby, and got all this attention" to "I want someone who will always love me and need me" and "I wanted to get out my parents house, and now I'm emancipated because I'm pregnant."

 

[poohandwendy]

The DIS is really slow. I must have missed a page trying to read the thread. Anyway, it is sad. Should it really be the mom's responsibility to pay for her son's mistake, though? Isn't that like sending the parents to jail if their kid commits a crime?

OT- I had my nails done for the first time ever, yesterday, PAW. The process is a lot more complicated than I ever thought. I have to work a fundraiser and thought I should cover my unsightly nail biting habit from the public.

No problem...I figured it was buried...

I don't think a parent should be held responsible for the resulting pregnancy of a minor, to be honest...

Interestingly, a teen girl is automatically emancipated from her parents when it comes to reproductive health care (ie she has a right to total privacy in the matters of reproductive health, BCPs, STD treatment, etc)

But, otoh...the parents are supposed to pony up the child support if their child reproduces without their consent or knowledge.

OT...good for you! It's nice to pamper yourself every now and again. It's really not very complicated...we just make it look that way, LOL

 

[poohandwendy]

poohandwendy, do you know how long these kids were going out? My first thought was that the girl was already pregnant, and slept with this kid to put the resonsibility on him...my second thought was that she got pregnant on purpose.

My son says about a year, from what he heard. So, I guess he was a freshman and she was a junior when they started dating. I really know nothing about her other than her age, so I could not guess if she has some agenda. It is just as likely that she was as surprised (and devastated) by the pregnancy as he was.

It does not sound like he is suspicious that it isn't his child. Not that he is right, I have no idea, but it doesn't sound like he is suggesting that she lied or deceived him.

 

[ryka]

I would be really suspicious about this 18 year old girl.

First off - what does an 18 year old girl see in a 15 year old boy? At that age, boys are far less mature than girls that are their own age, much less older girls.

This goes back to what I orginally posted. What if she was 17 when she got pregnant and just turned 18? Would that change how you think? I mean I don't know if this is true or not but it could have happened like that.

 

[poohandwendy]

This goes back to what I orginally posted. What if she was 17 when she got pregnant and just turned 18? Would that change how you think? I mean I don't know if this is true or not but it could have happened like that.

I have to admit, a 17 yo girl with a 14 yo boy...now a 18 yo girl with a 15 yo boy. It just is weird to me. Boys typically emotionally mature later...so this age difference is huge to me. I did not know anyone...anyone...when I was in school who would date a guy that much younger than her. It just didn't happen.

I guess it just makes me wonder if she is a lesser mature 18 yo? Which would be tragic, because if anything this child needs a very emotionally mature 18 yo, right now. I am only speculating on things that have run through my head.

Obviously, I do not know her, she could be super mature and just 'in love', I dunno.

 

[punkin]

Come on, would anyone be shocked if it was a 15 year old girl with an 18 year old boy?

Double standard.

 

[poohandwendy]

Come on, would anyone be shocked if it was a 15 year old girl with an 18 year old boy?

Double standard.

Oh, I make no excuses or apologies for it. It is the way it is. Girls, that age, are generally interested in boys their age or older.

I would not be at all surprised of a 15 yo girl dating an 18 yo boy...that is typical. Beause girls tend to be more interested in the serious bioyfriend/girlfriend dating when they are younger and boys tend to be interested in that type of relationship later. Yes, there are exceptions...but in my experience...it is far ore typical for the boy to be older than they girl...especially when you are talking more than a year or 2.

 

[chobie]

I would be really suspicious about this 18 year old girl.

First off - what does an 18 year old girl see in a 15 year old boy? At that age, boys are far less mature than girls that are their own age, much less older girls.

My brother was with an 18 year old girl when he was 15. I thought it was weird until I met her. She was a loverly girl and we were all sad when the broke up. My brother is very smart and charmng, and was always mature for his age in many ways.

The only time age differences creeps me out are like people in their 20's or older going out with teens under the age of 16. A 28 year old going out with a 13 or 14 year old is a predator IMO.

A three year age difference is not as big of a shock. The age range in highschool can be 3 to 4 years difference depending on the school. It is natural that there would be dating going on among the students that cross age lines.

 

[chobie]

Come on, would anyone be shocked if it was a 15 year old girl with an 18 year old boy?

Double standard.

It is a double standard. But apparently double standards are ok, along as is it is not the "poor males" who are not getting the benefit. And considering the history of this country that is not suprising. After all poor males had so hard for so many years. You know like, having to compeletly shoulder the burden of voting because we females were too stupid to vote. That kind of thing. Poor males. sigh.

 

[va32h]

Double standard

I'm not saying there is anything unseemly about a 3 year age difference.

I'm just saying I can't imagine what an 18 year old girl would see in a 15 year old boy. When I was in high school, sophomore boys were - well...sophomoric! Obnoxious and immature, making booger and fart jokes, and since they couldn't drive, or work, so they had no money and no way to take a girl on a date.

When I was a senior, I didn't have any friends in the lower grades, much less date anyone so much younger. I would have thought it was weird, and my friends would have too. Maybe we were snobs, but so are most teenagers.

 

[poohandwendy]

I'm not saying there is anything unseemly about a 3 year age difference.

I'm just saying I can't imagine what an 18 year old girl would see in a 15 year old boy. When I was in high school, sophomore boys were - well...sophomoric! Obnoxious and immature, making booger and fart jokes, and since they couldn't drive, or work, so they had no money and no way to take a girl on a date.

When I was a senior, I didn't have any friends in the lower grades, much less date anyone so much younger. I would have thought it was weird, and my friends would have too. Maybe we were snobs, but so are most teenagers.

exactly....