................

[C.Ann]

.........................

 

[disneygals]

But now I'm wondering if I'm being a rat - and if I should just bite the bullet and invite them along.. What would you do in similar circumstances? Invite them? Not invite them? Have DD, her DH and my DGD make the decision?

Well, if you're a rat, I am too. I would NOT invite them.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I think you are a rat if you don't invite me!

Seriously, you don't have to invite everyone who would like to go along. I'd just not bring it up.

Have a great trip!

 

[BkrsLoveDis!]

C.Ann - you should not feel like a rat - not even remotely. Like you mentioned, they go places with your DD, her DH and DGD without inviting you - it's not like you are doing it out of revenge - I certainly would want to spend some time with my DD and her family, just them, once in a while without the in-laws around.

You should have no guilt whatsoever - go and enjoy your vacation with your family!

Cyn

 

[Lachesis00]

I fully agree. The IL's do not need to go.

Well, if you're a rat, I am too. I would NOT invite them.

 

[4cruisin]

Truthfully, I would feel guilty too, however, you need to have this trip alone with DD,DGD and Dsil. This should be a time where the 4 of you can relax and just enjoy being together. You have all had a long road the past few years and it's time to think about just you for a change. Don't back down and invite them just because of the guilt. (The guilt will go away )

Go and have fun. Maybe you can plan long weekend getaway that includes everyone later, after the holidays.

 

[Sandy V.]

You're not a rat at all. You're simply a nice person who doesn't want to hurt someone else's feelings.

That being said, though, given how the trip went down last time, I think that you should NOT invite them to go along. This is your gift to your DD and her family, and you should be the one to enjoy it on your terms. Don't feel guilty; just go and have a wonderful time.

 

[Missy1961]

You are not a rat. It is a special trip for you, your daughter, SIL & granddaughter. You do not need to invite everyone. Even if they weren't so high maintenance, you have every right to just want it to be YOUR family. Go, have a great time, and don't worry about it.

 

[RadioNate]

You shouldn't feel bad at all. The trip is your gift. People don't have to have togetherness 100% of the time.

Enjoy your trip and don't give it a second thought. I'm sure they don't think about you when they go places with your DD, SIL and DGD.

 

[dianeschlicht]

People who expect others to "wait for them" or "wait on them" are takers and always pull down everyone else. Don't feel like a rat. SHE should be ashamed for making you feel guilty. Keep your plans as is and have a GREAT time!

 

[Hannathy]

No you are not a rat you are a great mom and grandmom! Have they planned and invited you on a trip? do they feel guilty for not doing it? You are not your inlaws Mom you are your daughters Mom and you are doing something special for her not them. Go and have a great time and if it really bothers you (which it shouldn't) remember it is a free country and they could get off their behinds and book a trip if they really wanted to go ! Where is it written that very extended families always have to do things together.

 

[TurboKitty]

You're not a rat at all. You're simply a nice person who doesn't want to hurt someone else's feelings.

That being said, though, given how the trip went down last time, I think that you should NOT invite them to go along. This is your gift to your DD and her family, and you should be the one to enjoy it on your terms. Don't feel guilty; just go and have a wonderful time.

What she said! Have fun and give this matter as little thought as you can.

 

[arminnie]

Better to feel like a rat (underserving as that may be) than to feel like fool for being suckered in. She made it so clear (even if she wasn't totally honest) why they didn't want to go - too busy, weather, etc.

 

[agnes!]

Repeat after me "I am NOT a rat".
Repeat after me "I have the right to enjoy special times with *just* my DD & her family."
Repeat after me "I am a wonderful caring person."

There, now , I feel better & I only wrote it - you get a chance to *live* it . Do NOT let your kindness get taken advantage of, feel FREE to invite/NOT invite whomever you WANT to be there.

And, frankly, it doesn't sound like you want this woman there (and I don't blame you one bit!)

Have a great trip,
agnes!

 

[ead79]

I don't think you're a rat at all! This trip is a special gift for your DD and her family. You shouldn't have to include your daughter's in-laws in your special family gift. Try not to feel bad--I think you're doing the right thing.

 

[bananiem]

Do NOTtake them! Have fun on your trip with your family.

 

[ElizaB39]

I would not feel at all guilty. We do trips all the time with our respective families. Noone feels bad, they each usually wish us well. Guess we have it good, huh?

Do NOT invite the ILs. This is a time for you and your DD, DSonIL and DGD. Have fun.

 

[wickey's friend]

You are definitely not a rat! You are just so nice that you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But, this is your trip. I wouldn't invite them either.

(And, no offense to my favorite rat, Rizzo from the Muppets. Sorry, had to add that. )

 

[tinkerrn]

Please, don't feel like a rat. There is no 'written, verbal, whatever law' that states you have to go on vacation with your inlaws. You are a better person then I am for going with them several years ago. Have a wonderful time; send them a postcard and bring them back a nice souvenir. Maybe plan a trip next year that all of you can take together.

 

[missypie]

No no no no no no no! You are not even remotely a rat. Do not think about it for one more second. You are much nicer than I am for ever thinking about taking the other IL.