................

[EthansMom]

You are not under any obligation to extend an invitation to others. You shouldn't feel guilty for not including DD's ILs on YOUR trip.

Enjoy your trip with DD, DSIL, and DGD!

 

[C.Ann]

Thanks all! I was "pretty sure" I wasn't being a rat, but there's this little voice in my head that is constantly telling me that I have to be aware of and sensitive to others feelings and when I saw the look on my DD's MIL's face when she was telling my DGD they wouldn't be going, I guess it got the best of me..

I think there's a name for this condition - "door mat" ....

 

[mickeyfan2]

This is a gift from you so it is ok not to invite them.

 

[goofinoff]

You're not a rat at all. You're simply a nice person who doesn't want to hurt someone else's feelings.

That being said, though, given how the trip went down last time, I think that you should NOT invite them to go along. This is your gift to your DD and her family, and you should be the one to enjoy it on your terms. Don't feel guilty; just go and have a wonderful time.

I agree! Like everyone else said, this is your gift! I wouldn't give it another thought. Your DGD is probably going to continue to mention it to her other grandmother because she is excited but don't worry about it. My mother and I are taking my girls in October (no boys allowed!)! We didn't even invite my husband and my father let alone my inlaws! Ha ha!!
It's a very nice thing that you are doing for your family. They are very lucky to have you! Have a great time!

 

[Tazicket]

Thanks all! I was "pretty sure" I wasn't being a rat, but there's this little voice in my head that is constantly telling me that I have to be aware of and sensitive to others feelings and when I saw the look on my DD's MIL's face when she was telling my DGD they wouldn't be going, I guess it got the best of me..

I think there's a name for this condition - "door mat" ....

You are absolutely NOT a rat and it was very tacky of your DD's MIL to try to guilt you into an invite.

 

[minniecarousel]

Well, I certainly understand why you might feel guilty - I would too. That said - you need to do this just with your DD, DSIL & DGD. Extended families shouldn't have to do everything together. It sounds like you see them enough. You need to shake off that feeling that you should invite them. Think of your DD - she needs this time away from them!

(there was a thread just yesterdy about this - other family members getting bent out of shape when not invited.)

 

[C.Ann]

(there was a thread just yesterdy about this - other family members getting bent out of shape when not invited.)

---------------------------------------------------------

Where? Maybe I need to read it - LOL..

 

[claudia]

But now I'm wondering if I'm being a rat - and if I should just bite the bullet and invite them along.. What would you do in similar circumstances? Invite them? Not invite them? Have DD, her DH and my DGD make the decision?

I'm really confused now and not 100% sure how I want to handle the situation..

You ARE NOT being a rat!!!! This is a gift for DD, DH and DGD and there is nothing wrong with you enjoying this time with them alone. You are in no way obligated to take the in-laws along. Enjoy and have a wonderful time.....guilt free!!

 

[Pooh93]

Please don't feel like a rat. You and your dd, dsil and dgd have been through alot the last couple of years. Go have a magical time and make these memories with that precious dgd of yours. You won't regret it.

 

[4nana]

C.Ann, so good to see you back on board!!!!

You are a sweet and kind person with a huge heart !!! Therefore it is only natural you may feel a tad bit of guilt that you did not invite your inlaws . However, now that you have had that guilty thought dear, please leave it right there - 'just a thought' !!! Afterall, haven't you been there, done that, got the tshirt and don't need to repeat anytime soon!?!?!?

You, your DD, SIL and little DGD have been through some very tough times the past couple yrs. You all deserve a much needed break, to bond w/o any stress and worries. It is a wonderful gesture and gift you can afford to do this trip, but, it is for you and them alone. As you said, they are invited places with the IL's you are not invited nor want to go. Haven't IL's bought a house next door to them and see them daily? Have no fear, you will have plenty of bonding time with your IL's down the road.

After we lost dear Dad, my Mom, sis and myself, did a 'Golden Girl's' Disney cruise trip for Mom's 74th BD. My Mom had never flown or cruised before,
been in a bathing suit for 40 yrs, nor swam in the Caribbean. We played in the ocean like children! It was one of the best trips ever - full of bonding, reminiscing, lightening our hearts by recaping some magic, and we know with out a doubt that Daddy was smiling down from up above.


Go, enjoy your special time together, soak up the magic having a wonderful time with your loved ones!!! Know your DH will be smiling upon you and yours!

 

[golfgal]

How about looking at it this way, if instead of giving the kids the trip you gave them a TV, would you feel obligated to give the in-laws a TV too? No. Go on your trip, have a great time and don't give the in-laws a second thought.

 

[C.Ann]

.....

 

[Nancyg56]

But now I'm wondering if I'm being a rat - and if I should just bite the bullet and invite them along.. What would you do in similar circumstances? Invite them? Not invite them? Have DD, her DH and my DGD make the decision?

I'm really confused now and not 100% sure how I want to handle the situation..

Please do not let this make you feel badly. This is long, but maybe it will help. I invited my sister IL from my first marraige on our trip to WDW last January. We all get along just fine, and I travel with her without any issues. And, yes my DH is a saint, he feels that she and my former MIL should be a big part of the kids lives and mow of my DGD life.

Well, it was okay, but my family refuses to go with her again. Nothing that was horrendous, just bothersome. DH said enough.

I have a family trip in January planned. She was not invited, and made some comments about it on Mother's Day that made me feel very uncomfortable. I felt terrible, noone else did. They were annoyed. I planned a trip in August so that she could vacation with my DGD and invited my 22 YO niece but am not doing that again. We had a good time, but I had a lot of problems with the little one that should never have happened.

You have a right to enjoy your family without any other people with you. The dynamics are different and you and they are entitled to that special time. Your DD MIL can always schedule special time and this need not be a WDW vacation if she wants memories that are out of the ordinary. Please enjoy your DD and her family. I have followed your postings and I know that you have waited a long time for this vacation. All of you deserve to get away and make some magic without having another family members to consider. Have a great time.

 

[suezpqt]

You are not a rat at all. You are taking your DD and her family as a thank you and a Christmas present. There is no need to include anyone else in your trip. This will be a great time for you to share time together with your family.

Go, Relax & Enjoy - life is too short to sweat the small stuff!!!

 

[chyam]

You are not a rat.........but in the event that they INVITE themselves, let her do her own planning and with cell phones now days no one has to wait on anothers schedule! If they want to sleep in let them call you and ask where you will be around a given time.......there is no way that I would let someone else monopolize my vacation simply because they have no concept of time! and aren't interested in doing the same things! Have a great time and enjoy your trip.And by no means let them make you feel guilty! People like that tend to do that, if it is brought up by her then tell them they are welcome to come as long as they understand that there are times that you will not all be together, since everyone has their own likes and dislikes, and this after all is your vacation too!

 

[minniecarousel]

---------------------------------------------------------

Where? Maybe I need to read it - LOL..

here ya go
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1228138&page=1&pp=15

 

[C.Ann]

They're really not "bad" people - just "different"..

 

[arminnie]

when I saw the look on my DD's MIL's face when she was telling my DGD they wouldn't be going, I guess it got the best of me.

Just think of the look that would be on your daughter's face if you told her they were going.

 

[ckret01]

That is so sweet that you want to take your DD and her family on a vacation to thank them for everything they have done for you and for their x-mas gift.

But even if this vacation was not a Thank you or a x-mas gift and you just asked them to join you, you still shouldn't feel obligated to invite the inlaws nor would I . (I do understand the feeling bad though) .

And especially like you mentioned they are involved in a lot of things with them as it is that you are not and you are allowed to take your DD and her family someplace without them tagging along. If they want to go so bad, then they can plan a trip to take them at another time.

I hope your trip is the best ever! Enjoy!

 

[C.Ann]

Lol..