My son is 12 and in 7th grade. He has always had friends that are girls. But he wasn't interested in girls until a few weeks ago when he started hanging out with this boy named T. Suddenly my son is girl crazy, telling us lies, sneaking late night conversations on his cell phone, grades dropping and God knows what else. Apparently the girlfriend my son has is best friends with T's girlfriend.
So on Friday, my son asks if T can stay the night. I was half asleep and apparently said yes. T is over when I wake up and my son asks if he can go to the movies with T. My son becomes almost obsessed with being able to go. I told him I wasn't giving him the money (we're between pay days). So he goes to the neighbors and asks if he can do work for them. They all say no.
He then is begging and trying to make himself cry so we will give him the money so he can go. I asked him who else was going. DS keeps saying no one and finally T says "My girlfriend is meeting me there". I asked my son why he would want to be the third wheel. He keeps begging to go swearing no one else is going. Finally after 15 minutes, he admits that his girlfriend is also meeting them there.
I asked what adult would be present. You would have thought I asked the boys to give me their kidney. And you guessed it, no adult is going.
I told my son no because he lied. I then looked at his grades online and he go a D- on his journal. He justifies the grade by saying he got a 97 on his science fair project. I'm still scratching my head over that.
Anyways, I told my son no. He doesn't care about his grades and he's telling lies. I told him I can't trust him and don't trust T (who had just told us that everyone at school is saying he had sex with a girl). I told my son that he was going to get the same rumors about him because birds of a feather flock together. For some reason, my son always picks questionable friends.
I just don't know what to do. T is not welcome back to my home because I believe he is leading my son down this path. I can't control who he hangs out with at school but I can at my home. My son is immature and just wants to fit in. He doesn't make good decisions and I can see him going down the wrong path because that's what everyone else is doing.
He is a good boy but doesn't use his brain. He plays school sports. We attend church. Either my dh or I are always home and am very involved in our children's lives. But my son is finding ways around our rules, doesn't care what we expect from him and just wants to do what he wants.
DS thinks we are too strict. Yes he is growing up but I refuse to allow a 12 year old to go to the movies with a girl with no adult. If he wants to go to the movies with this girl, there will be rules. No lies, acceptable grades and an adult will be present (a few rows behind them).
Am I old fashion or do parents now a days let their kids grow up sooner than they should? Would you allow you 12 year old to go to the movies with a girl with no adult supervision? Heck, would you allow your 12 year old to even go on dates? The whole thing just seems too advanced for me.
So on Friday, my son asks if T can stay the night. I was half asleep and apparently said yes. T is over when I wake up and my son asks if he can go to the movies with T. My son becomes almost obsessed with being able to go. I told him I wasn't giving him the money (we're between pay days). So he goes to the neighbors and asks if he can do work for them. They all say no.
He then is begging and trying to make himself cry so we will give him the money so he can go. I asked him who else was going. DS keeps saying no one and finally T says "My girlfriend is meeting me there". I asked my son why he would want to be the third wheel. He keeps begging to go swearing no one else is going. Finally after 15 minutes, he admits that his girlfriend is also meeting them there.
I asked what adult would be present. You would have thought I asked the boys to give me their kidney. And you guessed it, no adult is going.
I told my son no because he lied. I then looked at his grades online and he go a D- on his journal. He justifies the grade by saying he got a 97 on his science fair project. I'm still scratching my head over that.
Anyways, I told my son no. He doesn't care about his grades and he's telling lies. I told him I can't trust him and don't trust T (who had just told us that everyone at school is saying he had sex with a girl). I told my son that he was going to get the same rumors about him because birds of a feather flock together. For some reason, my son always picks questionable friends.
I just don't know what to do. T is not welcome back to my home because I believe he is leading my son down this path. I can't control who he hangs out with at school but I can at my home. My son is immature and just wants to fit in. He doesn't make good decisions and I can see him going down the wrong path because that's what everyone else is doing.
He is a good boy but doesn't use his brain. He plays school sports. We attend church. Either my dh or I are always home and am very involved in our children's lives. But my son is finding ways around our rules, doesn't care what we expect from him and just wants to do what he wants.
DS thinks we are too strict. Yes he is growing up but I refuse to allow a 12 year old to go to the movies with a girl with no adult. If he wants to go to the movies with this girl, there will be rules. No lies, acceptable grades and an adult will be present (a few rows behind them).
Am I old fashion or do parents now a days let their kids grow up sooner than they should? Would you allow you 12 year old to go to the movies with a girl with no adult supervision? Heck, would you allow your 12 year old to even go on dates? The whole thing just seems too advanced for me.
- parenting isn't for wimps.
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