$110,000 in Debt (college)

[amylevan]

I believe it's a symptom of the entitlement generation. I'm "entitled" to go to the best school, no matter the cost. I'm "entitled" to a six figure salary the moment I graduate from this dream school.

What? The world doesn't work like that? And now I have to pay back these loans????

 

[crisi]

I don't know if they are entitled or spoiled as much as not realistic.

When you are a smart kid (and I'm assuming someone who got into American isn't stupid) you see yourself taking on the world when you are 16 or 18 or 20. Nothing is not doable.

You've never been average in your life, why should you expect an average income in your chosen profession? And the $80k that is "average" sounds like a lot of money. And in a public policy job, there ARE advantages to going to school at American (and I bet it pays off for her later if she sticks it out in public policy).

It takes reality hitting to abuse you of these notions. Starting salaries in public policy work are never high. You do have to pay your dues in any career - college kids think that is going to college - it isn't - its working a job for little money PLUS volunteering to get your foot in the door. Cost of living in places where public policy jobs tend to be are high - especially if you've lived on the East Coast your whole life (I have a lot of friends doing public policy type work in the Midwest - it isn't a bad gig here - but its local).

And frankly, how many parents have we had here over the years who have sent their kids to small private schools because that is where the desired program is "among the best?" Lots. This isn't restricted to teenagers. And for those of us with teenagers, we probably went to school in an era where middle class people could expect a lot more in grants and less in private loans in their aid package. By the time we find out things have changed, we've helped set the expectation that the school they want is within reach.

I have a friend with her Bachelors in public policy from Columbia and her Masters from Harvard. Yes, she had loans up the yango, but at 45 she's doing pretty darn well in her mid-six figure East Coast public policy job and doing what she wants. She wouldn't have that job without that educational resume. But at 22 as a recent Columbia grad, she shared a tiny apartment in Queens and worked sixty+ hours a week paying her dues - and paying off her undergrad loans in ten years so she could then take out MORE loans for Harvard.

 

[FINFAN]

I don't know if they are entitled or spoiled as much as not realistic.

When you are a smart kid (and I'm assuming someone who got into American isn't stupid) you see yourself taking on the world when you are 16 or 18 or 20. Nothing is not doable.

You've never been average in your life, why should you expect an average income in your chosen profession? And the $80k that is "average" sounds like a lot of money. And in a public policy job, there ARE advantages to going to school at American (and I bet it pays off for her later if she sticks it out in public policy).

It takes reality hitting to abuse you of these notions. Starting salaries in public policy work are never high. You do have to pay your dues in any career - college kids think that is going to college - it isn't - its working a job for little money PLUS volunteering to get your foot in the door. Cost of living in places where public policy jobs tend to be are high - especially if you've lived on the East Coast your whole life (I have a lot of friends doing public policy type work in the Midwest - it isn't a bad gig here - but its local).

And frankly, how many parents have we had here over the years who have sent their kids to small private schools because that is where the desired program is "among the best?" Lots. This isn't restricted to teenagers. And for those of us with teenagers, we probably went to school in an era where middle class people could expect a lot more in grants and less in private loans in their aid package. By the time we find out things have changed, we've helped set the expectation that the school they want is within reach.

I have a friend with her Bachelors in public policy from Columbia and her Masters from Harvard. Yes, she had loans up the yango, but at 45 she's doing pretty darn well in her mid-six figure East Coast public policy job and doing what she wants. She wouldn't have that job without that educational resume. But at 22 as a recent Columbia grad, she shared a tiny apartment in Queens and worked sixty+ hours a week paying her dues - and paying off her undergrad loans in ten years so she could then take out MORE loans for Harvard.

Just read thru this thread and I agree...my DD will have large loans, however she knew when making her college choice that she would be pre-spending $ that others will spend in their life shoices later. She will not be having a large wedding (or any wedding for that matter) be driving a used car, have up to 3 roommates,not have kids, (a personal choice, not a debt based one) not own a house/condo for at least 10 years...but that is fine with her, her career will involve the ability to relocate globally, so owning would almost hurt her in a way. She has friends drooling over $40 cars, McMansions, vacations...all things that are not on her personal radar. She knew the education she wanted and felt taking on the debt and while young was better than attempting her school at the age of 35(assuming she sould attend loan free then), and the costs keep going up. Where she attends is $10,000 more per year than the least expensive option of her attending for her field, so to her $40,000 is that fancy car etc that others are coveting. What riches she will have is a field that brings her incredible inner joy, accomplishment and hopefully joy to others. She is spending far less on her own education than what she would have to set aside for a child of her own which as I said, she has no desire to have and at almost 21 she has no regrets, she has a realistic view and plan of what it will take to handle her situation. Heck, If we didn't have kids college, braces, sports, aging parents to support.. you name it, $110,000 would have been paid off in under 10 years. How many adults have spent 6 figures on redecorating their homes, a new car every 4 years, the latest cell phone/computer... eating out and don't have a lot to show for it? How many kids were ALREADY in school and their parents or their own savings tanked in 2008? There are a lot of variables out there, I think this girl is taking control. Heck, how many of these kids sign on for mortgages after they graduate that are just as high...when they know they are given enough rope to hang themselves with? At least her debt is on education, not materialistic things. I know many a family that has sent their DD off to school to make sure they meet Mr. Right..nice...drop $80,000 or more to marry off your daughter? At least this young lady is sharing her story to be informative and point out mistakes she made in hopes of giving others the tools to make their own decisions with.

 

[crisi]

Finfan, that describes my friend. She never married or had kids - and has no desire to. She was fine with few material possessions doing something she is passionate about - and now that she has the money for material possessions - travels. Working 60+ hour work weeks doing something you feel strongly about isn't a big deal, and when you are always working, you don't need much in terms of entertainment or a nice home.

IF you are truly passionate about what you do, and realistic about your expectations, these expensive private schools CAN pay off in resume building and networking. But it takes a LOT of maturity at 18 to know that you want to do the all encompassing sort of job that justifies it.

When I was in high school I wanted to be an M.D. And I do have the intellectual talent for it - I could have done it. But I managed to get into a program for high school students interested in become doctors my Junior year, and quickly became convinced that while I had the talent, I lacked the drive that is also required to get through pre-med, med school and a residency. I wanted my life to start earlier and exist sooner. In some ways I was really lucky that I didn't dedicate that much time and money early on to something that it wasn't in me to maintain long enough to succeed.

 

[disykat]

I think expecting that you'll just use the money you would have spent on mortgages, cars, vacations, etc. is ALSO unrealistic. Maybe it was the time period - I graduated in the early 80's - but we all seemed to know that NONE of those things were going to happen in the years immediately following graduation.

 

[LovableGluttons]

I think expecting that you'll just use the money you would have spent on mortgages, cars, vacations, etc. is ALSO unrealistic. Maybe it was the time period - I graduated in the early 80's - but we all seemed to know that NONE of those things were going to happen in the years immediately following graduation.

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but I agree!

My parents earned too much to qualify for grants (Pell, etc.) for my college, but too little to pay for it.

I knew I would be poor in college, then poor after college until I earned enough to get to that point in my life that I didn't feel poor anymore.

No parent, dead relative, nor husband was responsible for doing that for me.

At 18, I knew I would have to pay back student loans. The Financial Aid office made that very clear, as well as the interest!

I worked three jobs, had many roomates, ate very little, and paid my own way through school.

It took 15 years beyond graduation of working 12 hour night shifts before DH and I had enough money put away to feel secure.

It's the school of hard knocks.

 

[eliza61]

I don't know if they are entitled or spoiled as much as not realistic.

When you are a smart kid (and I'm assuming someone who got into American isn't stupid) you see yourself taking on the world when you are 16 or 18 or 20. Nothing is not doable.

You've never been average in your life, why should you expect an average income in your chosen profession? And the $80k that is "average" sounds like a lot of money. And in a public policy job, there ARE advantages to going to school at American (and I bet it pays off for her later if she sticks it out in public policy).

It takes reality hitting to abuse you of these notions. Starting salaries in public policy work are never high. You do have to pay your dues in any career - college kids think that is going to college - it isn't - its working a job for little money PLUS volunteering to get your foot in the door. Cost of living in places where public policy jobs tend to be are high - especially if you've lived on the East Coast your whole life (I have a lot of friends doing public policy type work in the Midwest - it isn't a bad gig here - but its local).

.

but where do these notions come from Crisi? like I always say, I'm over 50 so I totally admit to maybe not being "up" on all the new thinking.

I was a pretty smart cookie, got my degree, got my doctorate, yada, yada yada.

No one in my generation, that I know, even the geniuses, thought we were going to come out of school and be CEO. My compatriots were told all the time, unless you were "uber-righ" ie the Rockerfellers, you started out at the bottom and worked your way up. Now granted this was the day and age when people thought they would stay with one company and retire.

some one else mentioned housing. NO one I knew when my peers were getting married thought my first house is going to be 4500 sq feet.
Newlyweeds pretty much expected to start out in a small house (if that, I knew plenty of newlyweeds that started in a one bedroom flat)

Heck, we were all young and had dreams. Heck, forget the President, I knew when I graduated I was certainly going to be the first Women, Black president but I sure as hell didn't start spending that way.

My nephew is currently at the Naval academy in Annopolis. Sure he knew he was super smart but we emphasized to him that he was still going to get his butt kicked and that it was going to take a lot of hard work to succeed at this school and even when he comes out as an officer I'm sure he wants to change the world but some how I think he knows his not going to be Secretary of Defense right after college.

 

[lisalis]

Okay, I just finished reading the article. The thing that struck me funny was that she was complaining that she's 26 and has no money to travel or have a new car! Welcome to the real world of most college graduates. I graduated in the early nineties with about $15,000 of debt from a state university, which was a lot considering new teachers at that time started out with an annual salary of $20,000. We also did not have the low interest loans available.

I got married just out of college to a fellow college graduate with about $10,000 in loans. We did not travel or buy new cars. We paid off debt and saved up money for a down payment on a house for several years while eating macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. A college (even a highly respected private one) education does not automatically entitle you to a dream life filled with high salaries, travel, and luxury items.

Also, many students may not have the luxuries their parents have when they graduate, as they have worked their whole life to get where they are financially.

 

[ccgirl]

Sounds like she is still in denial and is trying to blame everyone else for her poor decisions. Time to step up and take responsibility for your own actions. Didn't she know how to add?? She was the one who agreed to the loans. She signed them. She said because her single mother, on a teacher's salary, made too much money she didn't qualify for financial aid but then she talks about her father cosigning the loan. His salary was taken into account as well.

Saying things like her statements below is just dumb:

"All because of this $120,000 degree I can't afford to use.

and

If I could say one thing about the private American Education system and how it relates to me, it is that it took someone who wanted to change the world and forced them to focus on just surviving in it."

First of all....she should've known that someone who wants to change the world in the private sector is really not going to do so on a 6 figure salary. Whey didn't she work when she went to schoo?

Look...it took me 10 years to get my Bachelor's degree. I had to go every other semester so I could work full time one semester and go to school the next. I was going to school for Biology so it's pretty impossible to work full time and go to school full time with the labs and everything else.

She made poor decisions for herself. I am not going to feel bad for her for one second!

 

[crisi]

I think expecting that you'll just use the money you would have spent on mortgages, cars, vacations, etc. is ALSO unrealistic. Maybe it was the time period - I graduated in the early 80's - but we all seemed to know that NONE of those things were going to happen in the years immediately following graduation.

I graduated a little later - and we all didn't "know" those things weren't going to happen. I graduated with a bunch of people who thought they'd make $60k a year out of the gate (in 1988!). Business majors in particular in the 1980s were unrealistic in their starting salary expectations. (Thank you Gordon Gecko).

And it isn't like they didn't and don't happen now. People do get done with college and create "ordinary" lives rather quickly. I bought my first house when I was still in college - of course, back then real estate was cheaper - but my husband works with a 24 year old guy who bought his first investment property three years ago. I didn't make much money, but it wasn't much of a house, and I bought it with my fiancée (now ex-husband). When he left I spent a number of years poor as a churchmouse with a housemate to pay the mortgage.

 

[eliza61]

I think expecting that you'll just use the money you would have spent on mortgages, cars, vacations, etc. is ALSO unrealistic. Maybe it was the time period - I graduated in the early 80's - but we all seemed to know that NONE of those things were going to happen in the years immediately following graduation.

I'm with you disykat, maybe it's not these kids fault maybe it's the parents fault. Who the heck is telling these kids that the nanosecond you graduate out of college you are now Donald Trump??

Sorry, I am having a really hard time swallowing that.

 

[FINFAN]

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but I agree!

My parents earned too much to qualify for grants (Pell, etc.) for my college, but too little to pay for it.

I knew I would be poor in college, then poor after college until I earned enough to get to that point in my life that I didn't feel poor anymore.

No parent, dead relative, nor husband was responsible for doing that for me.

At 18, I knew I would have to pay back student loans. The Financial Aid office made that very clear, as well as the interest!

I worked three jobs, had many roomates, ate very little, and paid my own way through school.

It took 15 years beyond graduation of working 12 hour night shifts before DH and I had enough money put away to feel secure.

It's the school of hard knocks.

If I am understanding your post, you knew the circumstances you'd be facing by taking on college debt...so worked your way thru instead. The 15 years of working until feeling secure, so that was not including paying for any college loans? Just trying to clarify because it sounds as if you are saying it was not worth it to go to college since it took sacrafices, but knowing the sacrifes you'd face since you had no family/financial help you made the decision to go ahead and go to college(and worked your butt off which is ) You are posting that you agree that you think people should not use $ to invest in their education so that they have the otion for travel, cars, etc in the future? Then why did you opt for the education?

 

[crisi]

but where do these notions come from Crisi? like I always say, I'm over 50 so I totally admit to maybe not being "up" on all the new thinking.

I was a pretty smart cookie, got my degree, got my doctorate, yada, yada yada.

No one in my generation, that I know, even the geniuses, thought we were going to come out of school and be CEO. My compatriots were told all the time, unless you were "uber-righ" ie the Rockerfellers, you started out at the bottom and worked your way up. Now granted this was the day and age when people thought they would stay with one company and retire.

some one else mentioned housing. NO one I knew when my peers were getting married thought my first house is going to be 4500 sq feet.
Newlyweeds pretty much expected to start out in a small house (if that, I knew plenty of newlyweeds that started in a one bedroom flat)

Heck, we were all young and had dreams. Heck, forget the President, I knew when I graduated I was certainly going to be the first Women, Black president but I sure as hell didn't start spending that way.

My nephew is currently at the Naval academy in Annopolis. Sure he knew he was super smart but we emphasized to him that he was still going to get his butt kicked and that it was going to take a lot of hard work to succeed at this school and even when he comes out as an officer I'm sure he wants to change the world but some how I think he knows his not going to be Secretary of Defense right after college.

They come from people like Bill Gates, Michael Dell or Mark Zuckenberg who did get out of college into CEO roles (granted, all three of them started their companies in college). In one of my early jobs - I was 22 years old - the CEO of my Fortune 500 company was 32. We'd hire Ivy League MBAs straight from school with no work experience into VP jobs - Harvard MBAs did NOT start in ordinary jobs. I dated a guy who was 28 and made six figures a year as a Director. Some people ARE wildly successful young (and recent history is FULL of the twenty something dot com billionaires), and the same thought that makes my twelve year old think he'll be a professional baseball player encourages an 18 year old to think that - with the right college behind them - they will get hired in as a VP or be lucky enough to live down the hall in the dorm from a future Bill Gates (Steve Ballmer).

People cherrypick information - we all do, and we do it a lot more when we are young. We look at rock stars and movie stars and get a skewed idea of what life as a professional musician or actor will be. And we think that the right school is a passport to a successful career. We aren't necessarily wrong - would Steve Ballmer be CEO of Microsoft if he hadn't lived down the hall from Bill Gates at Harvard?

 

[FINFAN]

I think expecting that you'll just use the money you would have spent on mortgages, cars, vacations, etc. is ALSO unrealistic. Maybe it was the time period - I graduated in the early 80's - but we all seemed to know that NONE of those things were going to happen in the years immediately following graduation.

Not sure if this is directed at my post since I stated that my DD is choosing to hold off on those items in lieu of her education, but if it is directed at us...I want to reiterate that she has no unrealistic expectations of obtaining or doing those things within 10 or more years of graduating. Loans get paid, then choices may become more available Not my cup of tea, I would prefer more of a balance, but she is far more career focused and knows she will need to invest a ton of time and energy into her work, not really leaving a lot of time for the typical suburban cookie-cutter lifestyle anyway. Should a person be told to but a home and take out a 30 year mortgage because that is what society does? Not if they are not comfortable and resposible enough to do so. Are they a failure because they choose to invest in education vs property? Freedom of choice to pursue ones dreams, and everone's dreams and ideas of success are different. Not every student who takes on debt feels that they are entitled to "have it all" and that their decision comes without a price, but not every student has the same path as those before them either.

 

[MrsPete]

but where do these notions come from Crisi? like I always say, I'm over 50 so I totally admit to maybe not being "up" on all the new thinking.

I was a pretty smart cookie, got my degree, got my doctorate, yada, yada yada.

No one in my generation, that I know, even the geniuses, thought we were going to come out of school and be CEO. My compatriots were told all the time, unless you were "uber-righ" ie the Rockerfellers, you started out at the bottom and worked your way up. Now granted this was the day and age when people thought they would stay with one company and retire.

some one else mentioned housing. NO one I knew when my peers were getting married thought my first house is going to be 4500 sq feet.
Newlyweeds pretty much expected to start out in a small house (if that, I knew plenty of newlyweeds that started in a one bedroom flat)

Heck, we were all young and had dreams. Heck, forget the President, I knew when I graduated I was certainly going to be the first Women, Black president but I sure as hell didn't start spending that way.

My nephew is currently at the Naval academy in Annopolis. Sure he knew he was super smart but we emphasized to him that he was still going to get his butt kicked and that it was going to take a lot of hard work to succeed at this school and even when he comes out as an officer I'm sure he wants to change the world but some how I think he knows his not going to be Secretary of Defense right after college.

From where do these ideas come? Society has shifted in the last 10-20 years into "entitlement gear", and young people have ridden the crest of that wave. A friend of mine who's about 25-26 and I were talking about this not long ago, and she says that it's just part of her generation's mentality. Although she knows it's ridiculous, she buys into it on a subconscious level. Things she pointed out to me, which seem odd to my generation:

- Our parents had only 1-2 children. 3 or more children in one family were rare. This gave our parents an "all our eggs in one basket" complex, and they pushed us to be the best. In everything. Also, with only 1-2 children, our parents had more time to devote to us; thus, they "helped us" with our school projects, etc. Our parents were always available to "save us" from making mistakes.

- Everyone from our parents to our teacher to Barney the Dinosaur told us we were special, better than others, unique and different -- and therefore more deserving than others. It didn't occur to us that we couldn't ALL be the best.

- I always win. Everyone I know always wins. Sure, a few people my age do not always win, but they are losers -- me and my friends are winners. We all got trophies when we played soccer. We all made As and Bs through school, and on the rare occasion that we didn't, our parents were quick to blame the teachers, the poor policies, or the fact that we had the flu. When we're told that we're wrong, we bristle about it -- we are not wrong. How could people say that? Other people are wrong.

- We have never waited. We've always had cable TV, microwave ovens, drive-through meals, credit cards, multiple cars in the family, etc. On the rare occasions that we've been made to wait for something, our parents apologized to us and bought us a gift.

- Our parents had money (or at least credit). Most of us have always had more than enough material goods, big Christmases and birthdays, multiple gifts on small holidays like Valentine's Day. We received cars on our 16th birthdays (we might've had to pay a bit towards the car, but it was a token amount). We've never had to save for things; our parents don't, why should we? We've never learned to "make do" or be creative with our resources. Why should we when it's so easy to buy a new whatever-it-might-be?

- We weren't allowed to entertain ourselves. Serial killers lurked outside our doors, so our parents set up play dates supervised by neighbors and friends' parents. We were driven back and forth rather than riding our bikes to and from one another's houses. We also were enrolled in extra-curricular activities at least three afternoons a week: Dance, piano, and gymnastics were staples for the girls. The guys all took martial arts and either guitar or drums. Add in school sports, and we had NO TIME to entertain ourselves.


Again, my friend laughs at her generation, although she fully accepts that she IS part of this mindset. She says she sometimes stops and says, "No, I am wrong" or "I have to wait for this thing."

If you put yourself in this mindset, you can see how a young person could talk herself into borrowing for the school. After all, she's special, different, unique. It's only the lack of money that's preventing her from taking that first step towards greatness. And since she's good at EVERYTHING, it'll be a piece of cake to pay it back!

I can see how a person with this mindset falls into this trap. Doesn't excuse the foolishness of it, but I can see how it happens.

 

[eliza61]

From where do these ideas come? Society has shifted in the last 10-20 years into "entitlement gear", and young people have ridden the crest of that wave. A friend of mine who's about 25-26 and I were talking about this not long ago, and she says that it's just part of her generation's mentality. Although she knows it's ridiculous, she buys into it on a subconscious level. Things she pointed out to me, which seem odd to my generation:

- Everyone from our parents to our teacher to Barney the Dinosaur told us we were special, better than others, unique and different -- and therefore more deserving than others. It didn't occur to us that we couldn't ALL be the best.

]I always win. Everyone I know always wins. Sure, a few people my age do not always win, but they are losers -- me and my friends are winners. We all got trophies when we played soccer. We all made As and Bs through school, and on the rare occasion that we didn't, our parents were quick to blame the teachers, the poor policies, or the fact that we had the flu. When we're told that we're wrong, we bristle about it -- we are not wrong. How could people say that? Other people are wrong.
- We weren't allowed to entertain ourselves. Serial killers lurked outside our doors, so our parents set up play dates supervised by neighbors and friends' parents. We were driven back and forth rather than riding our bikes to and from one another's houses. We also were enrolled in extra-curricular activities at least three afternoons a week: Dance, piano, and gymnastics were staples for the girls. The guys all took martial arts and either guitar or drums. Add in school sports, and we had NO TIME to entertain ourselves.


Again, my friend laughs at her generation, although she fully accepts that she IS part of this mindset. She says she sometimes stops and says, "No, I am wrong" or "I have to wait for this thing."

If you put yourself in this mindset, you can see how a young person could talk herself into borrowing for the school. After all, she's special, different, unique. It's only the lack of money that's preventing her from taking that first step towards greatness. And since she's good at EVERYTHING, it'll be a piece of cake to pay it back!

I can see how a person with this mindset falls into this trap. Doesn't excuse the foolishness of it, but I can see how it happens.

Thanks, I guess it is hard for me because it is the anti-thesis of what goes on around my house. My youngest son is a very good athlete and we are the opposite with him, we sat him down and showed him the small % of kids who actually make it to the professional level, we tell him and show him the example of athletes who 5 years after retiring are flat broke. He's gotten the message that if he gets a scholarship to school he is fully expected to be a great student also.

And with my oldest, we sat him down and point blank told him what he could and could not afford.

But your right and now what happens? Where does that leave the op? How "great" is her life now? So now she isn't exactly feeling like a "winner" and where supposed to dredge up sympathy?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I am a little confused as to why the financial aid was awarded based on the salary of her poor single mother, and yet later on she seems to have two parents, albeit separated or divorced.

My financial aid package considered only the parent who claimed me as a dependent on their taxes IIRC. So if her mom is claiming her, that would be why. I don't recall ever using my father's tax information when applying for aid.

 

[crisi]

From where do these ideas come? Society has shifted in the last 10-20 years into "entitlement gear", and young people have ridden the crest of that wave. A friend of mine who's about 25-26 and I were talking about this not long ago, and she says that it's just part of her generation's mentality. Although she knows it's ridiculous, she buys into it on a subconscious level. Things she pointed out to me, which seem odd to my generation: ......

However, if their parents really are there to save them from mistakes and buy them everything they want, they also pay for their college. This is the great tragedy of these kids lives - their parents sort of pull the rug from under them (without intending to) by setting the expectation, but being unable to fund it. And that isn't necessarily the parents fault - how many threads here have bemoaned the lack of grant based financial aid, and have had middle class parents who have assumed their kids would get scholarships and/or better aid packages than they got?

 

[allison443]

My financial aid package considered only the parent who claimed me as a dependent on their taxes IIRC. So if her mom is claiming her, that would be why. I don't recall ever using my father's tax information when applying for aid.

There is the FAFSA (free application for federal student aid) which requires a student to report the income of the parent(s) they live with (so noncustodial parent's income is not reported.) Many schools just use the FAFSA. (That's probably what you filled out). A number of schools also require the CSS/Profile form, which asks for more detailed information such as the income of both parents, including the noncustodial one. That's what American University requires.

 

[FINFAN]

From where do these ideas come? Society has shifted in the last 10-20 years into "entitlement gear", and young people have ridden the crest of that wave. A friend of mine who's about 25-26 and I were talking about this not long ago, and she says that it's just part of her generation's mentality. Although she knows it's ridiculous, she buys into it on a subconscious level. Things she pointed out to me, which seem odd to my generation:

- Our parents had only 1-2 children. 3 or more children in one family were rare. This gave our parents an "all our eggs in one basket" complex, and they pushed us to be the best. In everything. Also, with only 1-2 children, our parents had more time to devote to us; thus, they "helped us" with our school projects, etc. Our parents were always available to "save us" from making mistakes.

- Everyone from our parents to our teacher to Barney the Dinosaur told us we were special, better than others, unique and different -- and therefore more deserving than others. It didn't occur to us that we couldn't ALL be the best.

- I always win. Everyone I know always wins. Sure, a few people my age do not always win, but they are losers -- me and my friends are winners. We all got trophies when we played soccer. We all made As and Bs through school, and on the rare occasion that we didn't, our parents were quick to blame the teachers, the poor policies, or the fact that we had the flu. When we're told that we're wrong, we bristle about it -- we are not wrong. How could people say that? Other people are wrong.

- We have never waited. We've always had cable TV, microwave ovens, drive-through meals, credit cards, multiple cars in the family, etc. On the rare occasions that we've been made to wait for something, our parents apologized to us and bought us a gift.

- Our parents had money (or at least credit). Most of us have always had more than enough material goods, big Christmases and birthdays, multiple gifts on small holidays like Valentine's Day. We received cars on our 16th birthdays (we might've had to pay a bit towards the car, but it was a token amount). We've never had to save for things; our parents don't, why should we? We've never learned to "make do" or be creative with our resources. Why should we when it's so easy to buy a new whatever-it-might-be?

- We weren't allowed to entertain ourselves. Serial killers lurked outside our doors, so our parents set up play dates supervised by neighbors and friends' parents. We were driven back and forth rather than riding our bikes to and from one another's houses. We also were enrolled in extra-curricular activities at least three afternoons a week: Dance, piano, and gymnastics were staples for the girls. The guys all took martial arts and either guitar or drums. Add in school sports, and we had NO TIME to entertain ourselves.


Again, my friend laughs at her generation, although she fully accepts that she IS part of this mindset. She says she sometimes stops and says, "No, I am wrong" or "I have to wait for this thing."

If you put yourself in this mindset, you can see how a young person could talk herself into borrowing for the school. After all, she's special, different, unique. It's only the lack of money that's preventing her from taking that first step towards greatness. And since she's good at EVERYTHING, it'll be a piece of cake to pay it back!

I can see how a person with this mindset falls into this trap. Doesn't excuse the foolishness of it, but I can see how it happens.

your summary is spot-on...soon we will be reading why there aren't *snowflake* scholarships.