Subject: Call the State Mental Hospital
"Good Morning, State Mental Hospital. Please listen to the following options carefully."
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for
you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,
stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little
voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators
are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on
the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll
just mess it up.
Well, my job is done .....Your turn
