TiggerKing
If we don't go crazy once in a while, we'll all go
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2000
- Messages
- 3,996
Awful slow around here today. The women must be busy.

I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus' uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle[*] from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee.
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
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I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
.......
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
Bob, how are you with Excel? I can't get my weighted averages to come out correctly ...
Ahhh...Pirates of Penzance. Haven't heard that in a LONG time!![]()
Welcome to the board Janel! Hopefully you can keep your husband in line...none of us can do anything with him!![]()
Gee Bob We always say the same thing to Lisa!!!!!![]()
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Awful slow around here today. The women must be busy.![]()
Yeah, but it'll go quick. It needs to be detailed and colored in ... and I'm getting the price quotes too so we're all ready to go. But trust me, you WILL love it!Shell: Do we really have to wait a week to see the shirts?????