10 yr anniversary/vow renewal??

[goofy4tink]

Dh and I have been invited to a ceremony that is a vow renewal for a 10 year wedding anniversary. We know the couple from church But not really well. I think it's a case of their not having a lot of friends. Our invitation had our last name misspelled...as did another couple's. Not that that's a big issue, but goes to show our 'relationship' with this couple. We are planning on going, happily. But....I'm not sure what the deal is with gift giving for something like this. Nothing is mentioned in the invitation. So, do we give them a gift card to a nice restaurant? Just not sure what to do here.
Any thoughts???

 

[LJSquishy]

No gifts are necessary. It's optional, I suppose, but I definitely would not bring a gift if you're not close with them. Honestly, it's strange that you are invited in the first place. Usually vow renewals are either private or with the closest friends/family members that are a big part of their lives. Hehe, I always thought vow renewals were a sign of trouble! Who needs a reminder of the commitment you took 10+ years ago?? How about Seal & Heidi Klum who renewed their vows every year...LOL

 

[Dan Murphy]

Six month free access to the Transportation board?

 

[lorimay]

You can do a picture frame. Not sure they have 10 year anniversary ones, but if they are having a renewal you can just get a "weddingy" one for them.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Dh and I have been invited to a ceremony that is a vow renewal for a 10 year wedding anniversary. We know the couple from church But not really well. I think it's a case of their not having a lot of friends. Our invitation had our last name misspelled...as did another couple's. Not that that's a big issue, but goes to show our 'relationship' with this couple. We are planning on going, happily. But....I'm not sure what the deal is with gift giving for something like this. Nothing is mentioned in the invitation. So, do we give them a gift card to a nice restaurant? Just not sure what to do here.
Any thoughts???

What exactly are you invited to? Are they having a reception after the renewal?

Personally I would give a card.

 

[castleview]

Card sounds good. I don't get the idea of vow renewals unless you're looking for an excuse to take a trip or have a party (which you don't need).

Is there a reason to renew?

 

[happygirl]

Card sounds good. I don't get the idea of vow renewals unless you're looking for an excuse to take a trip or have a party (which you don't need).

Is there a reason to renew?

There are many reason to have one. I don't really think it's fair to OP to turn this into a debate against or for wedding renewal

 

[shoney]

I wouldn't be able to show up to something I was invited to empty handed.

If it was just to join them at the church, I would bring a bottle of wine or a plant, something small....just a token.

If there were a lunch/dinner reception, I would probably spend a little more....maybe a restaurant gift card.

As for a reason to renew....

My inlaws are renewing their vows. back in the 60's, the catholic church wouldn't marry them because MIL was pregnant! This has always bothered her and she mentioned it to the priest that blessed their home the other day (it was destroyed in hurricane Sandy and they just recently moved back in). He offered to marry them.

they live in the neighborhood that my MIL grew up in, so it is the exact same church that refused them many years ago.


They aren't inviting anyone or having anything afterwards.

 

[castleview]

There are many reason to have one. I don't really think it's fair to OP to turn this into a debate against or for wedding renewal

I was simply asking why people do them.

As for a reason to renew....

My inlaws are renewing their vows. back in the 60's, the catholic church wouldn't marry them because MIL was pregnant! This has always bothered her and she mentioned it to the priest that blessed their home the other day (it was destroyed in hurricane Sandy and they just recently moved back in). He offered to marry them.

they live in the neighborhood that my MIL grew up in, so it is the exact same church that refused them many years ago.


They aren't inviting anyone or having anything afterwards.

Now that I get. I don't get renewals where people are expected to bring wedding like gifts though.

 

[Katy Belle]

I knew a couple that had a big blow out party for their 10 yr anniversary. No one expected them to make it that long and they wanted to celebrate!

I would say there is not really a right or wrong answer as to the gift. Get them something you think they'd like. I think a gift certificate to a restaurant is very nice.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

Better you than me is all I have to say as vow renewals have never been something that made any sense to me. I also could not arrive empty handed and would probably bring a bottle of wine.

 

[scrapquitler]

Dh and I have been invited to a ceremony that is a vow renewal for a 10 year wedding anniversary. We know the couple from church But not really well. I think it's a case of their not having a lot of friends. Our invitation had our last name misspelled...as did another couple's. Not that that's a big issue, but goes to show our 'relationship' with this couple. We are planning on going, happily. But....I'm not sure what the deal is with gift giving for something like this. Nothing is mentioned in the invitation. So, do we give them a gift card to a nice restaurant? Just not sure what to do here.
Any thoughts???

If you asked this question, and said that this couple was very dear friends of yours, or a close relative, I would give a different answer. But based on the scenario that you describe, I would bring something along the lines of a gift card for a local restaurant, a bottle of wine, a picture frame or a nice flowering plant for their garden, something maybe $25-$30.

For a close family member or dear friend, I might be inclined to give more. Or not, depending on the couple. To me, vow renewals are not a supposed to be a big showy thing, and 10 years almost doesn't qualify as time to do it yet, in my opinon. When I hear people talking about 10 year vow renewals all I can picture is the spectacle of Jon & Kate Gosselin in her white gown telling the kids "This is because Mommy and Daddy love each other so much and nothing is ever ever going to make us be apart" I always assume that the couple is putting on a show for the public unless they do it as a private thing.

 

[goofy4tink]

Six month free access to the Transportation board?

Well, everyone gets that Dan!!!! A bargain at half the price!!

There are many reason to have one. I don't really think it's fair to OP to turn this into a debate against or for wedding renewal

Oh, not a problem...debate away.

If you asked this question, and said that this couple was very dear friends of yours, or a close relative, I would give a different answer. But based on the scenario that you describe, I would bring something along the lines of a gift card for a local restaurant, a bottle of wine, a picture frame or a nice flowering plant for their garden, something maybe $25-$30.

For a close family member or dear friend, I might be inclined to give more. Or not, depending on the couple. To me, vow renewals are not a supposed to be a big showy thing, and 10 years almost doesn't qualify as time to do it yet, in my opinon. When I hear people talking about 10 year vow renewals all I can picture is the spectacle of Jon & Kate Gosselin in her white gown telling the kids "This is because Mommy and Daddy love each other so much and nothing is ever ever going to make us be apart" I always assume that the couple is putting on a show for the public unless they do it as a private thing.

Here's the situation. I am the church altar guild directress. This woman is a member of one of my teams. She and her dh sit behind my dh in church...i'm up in the choir loft!! So....the captain of her team is also invited...and they sit in the same area at church as well. I don't think this couple has a lot of friends, or even family close by. They had a civil type wedding, JP I believe, the first time and have always wanted a 'real' wedding. Hence the vow renewal...I can see why they want to do that. But, it's going to be at a country club, with a meal after.
I'm thinking a gift card to a restaurant is a good idea. If it were someone really close to me, I wouldn't have an issue, but I have never seen this couple outside of church!!! And yes, I have a much bigger social life than just church!!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd probably do a gift card to a nice restaurant.

Soemone also mentioned a plant or how about a bush that they can plant that will remind them of their vow renewal when they look at it?

 

[EMom]

Vow renewals don't make a lot of sense to me, but they make more sense than the "vowel renewals" you hear of so often.

 

[*JoGo*]

Is there a reason to renew?

They want new appliances and towels?


OP, I would probably give them a card and skip going. Or just go to the ceremony.

I don't understand renewals that are treated as a wedding either. I'd rather spend that money on a nice vacation.