10 year old Daughter -clothing issues- vent

[bigsis1970]

Hi Everyone , I have a 10 yr old Daughter who is having some issues ( these have been ongoing ) with respecting me . She knows the rules - be nice to me and her brother , do your chores, take care of her pets and I thought she knew about apporiate clothing to school .
I get a note today from my ex's finance' asking if I knew what my D wore out of the house today .. I send one back stating a skirt , sweatshirt , vest and powerpuff shirt .. she send me one back quickly saying the powerpuff is a thin strap tank top at least 2 sizes too small ( and her bra straps were showing and half of her stomach ) ok my D is a bit on the chunky side .. I can imagine what her teacher is thinking ! I am going on a clothing rampage this evening when I get home and D is grounded w/ early bedtime all week, no TV and is cleaning the rest of her room of old toys games ect. One of the problems I think is that our new daycare provider wears shorter shirts ( so people can see her thong when she bends over or her belly button ring and tattoo's ) she is rather brassy and treats my D not really like a kid but not quite like an adult . I will be chatting with her as well but its her business and she is an adult - I am thinking it probaly won't get my anyplace and daycare in my area is very slim picking! Just had to see if any other 10 ( not even 11 till Nov ) yr old D's are testing the limits .. Thanks for reading Michelle

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

the fashion police are alive and well at my dds' middle school. the dress code is published in the student handbook, and is strictly enforced.

always stay within the dress code. but they do push it when they can.

 

[Serena]

I'd just do a thorough cleaing of her closet. She's pushing and testing, normal kid stuff.

My little girl is more modest and hasn't done that. And her school has a strict uniform code.

When we're home alone is another story.

 

[bjgrazi]

she didn't do anything that any normal girl her age would do. After all look at who the role models are today. Brittany, Christina, all they want to do is look like them.

If you stick to your guns and choose your battles wisely, all will be okay. Remember what some people think is wrong to wear, others think is perfectly fine. My daughter wears tanks under shirts all the time, but does not take off the overshirt. It's just a look.

 

[bigsis1970]

Thanks - You are all right . Testing , Pushing , trying out different looks to look like the pop stars of today .. ( however she does also have a no tank rule at school too so hopefully she left the vest on all day ! ) Thanks again. Michelle

 

[Disneycrazymom]

I have a friend who has been working with her daughter about modesty. She got a book called Secret Keeper Girl by Dannah Gresh. It is a book for moms and daughters to read together. Anyway she says it has been a great way to communicate with her daughter. Good luck to you.

 

[Talking Hands]

She sounds quite normal and is testing her limits. Good for you for havig them.
You will not believe some of the things kids wear to high school now days and the one where I sub now is tame. They must wear academy polos with the school logo and long pants or skirts that may not be too short. Had a few young men try to shock me by allowing there pants to slide down to show there underwear. So far none have bared all. Shocked, not really, I just tell them to go to the restroom and get dressed or I can write them up.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I try to buy shirts for DD#1 (12) that are a size or two larger than she needs to combat this "baby t shirt" phenomenon. Believe me, I have girls at school (although the number is decreasing) who love to wear shirts that ride up, low riders and thongs so the whole wide world knows they are wearing a thong. That is in 10th grade. So far though DD is pretty modest, which is fine with me. Another problem is finding modest clothing! You really have to look for clothes that don't show the belly--and most 6th graders I know still have baby fat.
Robin M.

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

Thank you God for sending me a boy! Gotta love those baggy T's, jeans and sneakers!

 

[cruisnfamily]

Originally posted by Disneycrazymom
I have a friend who has been working with her daughter about modesty. She got a book called Secret Keeper Girl by Dannah Gresh. It is a book for moms and daughters to read together. Anyway she says it has been a great way to communicate with her daughter. Good luck to you.

I went looking on www.amazon.com for this book..They only had it on audio cassette with no reviews or excerpts. I also searched my public library and they don't carry it. Has anybody else read this? Where can one find this is book form?

I did find this:http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...102-6075202-0412941?v=glance&s=books&n=507846 which is called Secret Keeper: a guide to modesty or something like that but it sounds like it's for older teens.

Any help? I am experiencing the clothing battles with my DD11 and honestly, it's not because she wants to look "sexy" it's because this is what she truly believes looks "good". I'd love to find a book to address some of this.

 

[shortbun]

Hi! As a school bus driver, I see it all. I don't know why these
"show what you got" styles are so the rage, but they are.
The thing is, these girls could dress fashionably, with a little
skin showing and look really good but they choose NOT to look
good on purpose. It's weird. Good luck with your DD, I would
just shudder if I had a daughter at that age right now with peer
pressure influencing her clothing choices. At age 10, you still
have some control. Try taking her for a car ride so she doesn't
have to look at you while you talk(kids hate that we insist on that) and have a sincere talk about fashion and bodies and
what the boundaries are. Ask her what her impression of herself
is and if she thinks she's worth stepping up a notch with her
apparel. She may think she has to wear these things to fit in.
When I was in 7-8-9 grade, my best friend and I kept a stash of
skirts, shoes, makeup in a stone light post at the end of her lane.
We'd change there on the way to school and change back before
we walked in the door. I'm 50-this is not a new trick, you
see!? I dress very conservatively now and my mother finally approves!!!

 

[Disneycrazymom]

cruisnfamily, I asked her and she got it at a Christian Bookstore. You might try familylife.com or Focus on the Family for a copy. It does have a CD by Rebecca St. James included with it. It says it is for girls 8 - 12 on the back of the book. The complete title is Secret Keeper Girl Great Dates for you and Your Daughter. She and her daughter have enjoyed it.

 

[Trish Bessette]

I have a 10 year old DD who will be 11 in October (close to your daughter's age). Although she hasn't pushed the issue that much I have notice when we go shopping that she looks at those microscopic tank tops and short skirts...

Like your daughter, mine is very big for her age. Not necessiarly overweight, big boned. She is only 10 and is 5'5", wears a size 9 shoe and fits in my clothes!!

I try hard not to make her feel bad about herself but her body just doesn't fit those tiny outfits that are so "in" right now.

It's just another road down life's path we must take. I truly believe with constant communication things will work out fine.

Good luck!

 

[Beauty]

I don't know, my son has been bitten by fashion too. Its all Abercrombie and Aeropostle (did I spell that right ) When we buy for him I can see the outfits for the girls and WOW! The new short ruffled skirts are EVERYWHERE!! Yep some of our 6th grade girls are testing these waters with the shorter skirts but the dress code is also stricktly enforced. J.C. has gone to the movies with a few friends including girls and they have dressed quite conservativly for going out in jeans and t'shirts or nice tops.

I don't mind buying the clothes for J.C. but from the looks of the clothes I could do just as good going to Wal-mart and buying a pair of Khaki shorts and wrinkling them...LOL!

 

[nana2tots]

well to start off with, the brittany and christina style is not helping the young girls these days, they only want to be like their favorite star. i have a 10 yr. old granddaughter, whom adores brittany and sometimes tries to wear things like brittany, but her mom sees that she dosent, so that causes some problems between mother and daughter. i guess if B & c would start wearing decent clothes, then some of the problems would be solved!!!!!!hope things work out between you and your daughter. disneynana

 

[nana2tots]

Hi Beauty, we are planning a trip to WDW in DEC.. since you have been in DEC. i was wondering if you could give me some info, like the weather, etc. thanks disneynana