Ok I need parental input. I am really trying hard not to jump to conclusions everytime Kelsey says something and think it is a lie. So I am going to tell you all the conversation from last night and please tell me how you would take it so I have something more to consider besides she is lying.
You all know that she was out playing during our rain storm. So when she got home I noticed she was dry. I asked "So did you get soaked from the rain." Kelsey say "Yah, at first it was just sprinkles so we all stayed on the basketball court, then when it started pooring Jordon and I stood under a tree and that kept us dry. Everyone else stayed on the court."
Me :"Oh who was everyone else"
Kelsey "Eric and his friends" Clue here. Eric lives 4 houses away and I can see his front door and driveway from my seat at the computer. Him and his Friends were hanging out front of his house before the storm hit and they all broke up and he went in when it started raining. I did not tell her what I know.
Kelsey "After the rain stopped we went to Jordon's house (THis is Erics sister who Kelsey hangs out with) to see if John (Jordon's step dad) would give us towels to dry off. He would not so we just went back to the park" Clue again. Durning the storm, Jordon's mom came home, and John, and the boys went to help unload the car. Once the car was unloaded John left. So John is not the one who would not give them towels, and I was sitting her the whole time and never saw them come back to her house.
Kelsey "we have been sitting on Jordons porch for the last 45 minutes comming up with a new hand shake." HMMM again, she is supposed to tell me when she changes locations, and she never did, plus I never saw them there.
Me: "Oh so who was the tall skinny black girl that went up to Jordon door, I have never seen her in the community before."
Kelsey "What girl, I did not see a girl."
Me "about 20 minutes ago she went up to their door"
Kelsey "Oh she is a new girl that will not leave us alone. She follows us everywhere."
Me "Oh so she is new, that is why I have never seen her, maybe she just wants to be friends.
Kelsey "Well she has been here for over a year now, and won't leave us alone."
This was the end of our conversation. Any input would be great.
I am off to work.
Have a great day.
Hi Carrie - big hugs
I dont have any advice I'm afraid, I can only tell you what works with my ds (although he is a lot younger so you've probably already tried it anyway).
If I suspect Ellis isnt telling the truth or embellishing a story to his advantage, I ask him calmly to sit by me. I get a drink and biscuits and try to make it casual and not confrontational (I find if I get angry he just closes up and makes up more stories), and just say to him that I dont think he's told me the entire story and that if he tells me the truth he will not be in
any trouble at all, no matter what it is, because he's being honest. This is a hard thing to promise, but it shows him I trust him to be truthful and to know better next time.
However, if I find out later that it wasnt the truth (and stress that I always find out in the end) he WILL be in trouble for being dishonest. I tell him he can have a few minutes to think about it while we have our drink and cookies and then I ask him if he'd like to tell me anything. If he tells the truth (whether he's been naughty or disobeyed previously set rules etc) I keep to my word and not punish him for what he did, but praise him for being honest and open enough to tell me. We then revisit the problem and go over the rules that he broke etc and either come up with a fair compromise or discuss it til he's clear on the boundaries.
Could Kelsey be fibbing because she's not allowed somewhere but went anyway? If so, rather than her go behind your back, tell her that you'd rather know now and maybe come up with a solution such as maybe she could invite her friends to your house once in a while if it rains, or set perimeters and boundaries that you're both happy with or at least can tolerate. Maybe there was peer pressure - I remember being her age and if I wasnt allowed to go somewhere but my friends were, I'd go anyway rather than get teased by my friends. Girls can be real *****y at that age, she's probably just trying to fit in withour looking like she has to check in with you all the time. I'm dreading Ellis getting to that age. I'll want a tracking device on him 24 hours a day
, so I understand totally that you need to know for her own safety. Maybe if you can discuss it together and try to treat her like a young adult maybe she will act more responsible and you'll both win. Could she have / does she have a mobile phone so she can tell you where she is and you can get hold of her? I dont know how much they are over here, but you could both agree to have an "emergency" phone and that you would only ring it for example if she missed her curfew and she was only to use it to keep you informed where she was.
I find trying the softly softly approach rather than being judgemental and automatically starting off angry gets me a lot more answers than if I go in aggressive and "parental" from the start.
Another thing - maybe you could get her to invite this "new" girl over one evening? You could meet her and maybe if its just the 2 of them Kelsey might get to know her better.
I dunno, I'm just waffling now
- sorry if this is no help whatsoever
Good luck Carrie
to all new BOBers. I am Shelley and my husband is Woody. 
I know of one already and they said when it first started it was a not a threat to anyone but within 45 mintes they started evacing houses. They said it took off more then exepected and they can not get fire trucks to it until today.
. After I had posted yesterday I realized that I hadn't given any information about myself. My name is Kathy and I am from Fulton, Missouri. I am a new empty nester - hence having to pay the hefty single supplement!!! My son, Matthew just graduated from High School and has moved out to Colorado Springs, Colorado (where we lived before we moved here) to work with his dad at his place of employment. I am lonely, but it sure is quiet and clean. Don't know what to do with myself these days - I guess I'll have plenty of time to catch up on the posts. I have booked room 7119 Deck 7 AFT - wanted to be close to Deck 9 and the restaurants. I'll let you go for now and I'll keep reading the posts.
- we do get packet sponge type cakes hat you're meant to sandwich together with cream and jam. Any low fat recipes for cakes are greatfully received
