10/24/2009 - Bash on the Boat (I'm with BOB) - Thread #3

[DISNEYDUET]

I was born on my birthday............

 

[DISNEYDUET]

Ok Chris here's one for you

For all of you in education, with sons, grandsons, or who just love the things little kids say ~ a reminder that adult words are often taken literally.....



"Circumcised"

(this is priceless!)



A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.



She went back to find out what was going on.



He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.



The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office.



He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class.



Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.



She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his "private part" hanging out.



"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said.



"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.

I have heard this before! It never gets old!

 

[A fat english gent]

Right Becky your in charge Of the Joke department from now on,this was my only contribution to this BB and am no longer needed for this anymore..

 

[bigred]

Right Becky your in charge Of the Joke department from now on,this was my only contribution to this BB and am no longer needed for this anymore..

dont worry sweetie. i need you for lots of other things.

 

[bigred]

Hi! My name is Brenda, and my husband Jason and I are DINKs. We're also Nerds, Dorks, Geeks, Freaks, Gluttons, and Drunkards ... I'm sure I've left a few out ...

Oh, and that AFEG person ... he's my boyfriend.

OK, I'll follow suit. I'm Nancy and DH is Chuck. Most people mistaken us for Michele Pheifer and George Clooney.

Oh, and that AFEG person ... he's MY boyfriend.

my turn. hi my name is bigred. i'm be sailing alone again on kk2 but i'm sure i wont be alone for long. i'm still making it my goal in life to steal a certain
bald-headed guy with a scar away from his dw.
i think she posts here now and then as the name "toaster strudel annihilator".


OH, and that AFEG guy,,, he may be brenda and nancys boyfriend, but i'm the one he spent a lot of time with on deck 10.(looking forward to sailing on the repo with you chris)

 

[Verandah Man]

Ok Chris here's one for you

For all of you in education, with sons, grandsons, or who just love the things little kids say ~ a reminder that adult words are often taken literally.....



"Circumcised"

(this is priceless!)

OMG, I so hard!!!

 

[Verandah Man]

I may be crazy but I'm not suicidal!

 

[minnieandmickey]

Right Becky your in charge Of the Joke department from now on,this was my only contribution to this BB and am no longer needed for this anymore..

Oh no no no, you can have the job. I enjoy them too much, and the girls in my office enjoy them as well. I just saw this one and thought about you. don't know why I did, considering the subject matter, but I did.

 

[Dyerneeds]

Here's a pic of that DISer that tried to arrange the DIS meet where the ladies were supposed to wear long gloves and tiaras.

Yeah Mike and Robin know her real well, right guys?
:

yep. our tablemates from the 2005 cruise. sat with them and
walt and di.
is that when you got that pic cass? 2005?

 

[Dyerneeds]

got a few minutes to try and get caught up.


congrats on the promotion mark.
first round of strawberry smoothies on you?

 

[Dyerneeds]

Umm me no likey clowns. I didn't care for them much when I was a kid and THEN I saw the movie Poltergeist and REALLY hated them after that. They are creepy looking! I will never swim in the Boardwalk pool either, that clown slide is scary

robin no likey clowns either.
years ago i had some clown stickers and stuck them to the telephone so when she answered it she got a scare.

 

[Dyerneeds]

Nancy you little minks what happened to "What happens on the boat stays on the boat darling"?..... ...Don't be sending that Mr Tuna after me am still having therapy after them thugs from VA threatened me last time with threats of violence,you know who you are boys...

the scary part is that since kk1 no one has heard from one of the VA boys.
missys mike has apparently vanished.
careful what you say to that afeg guy.

 

[Dyerneeds]

Well, since my plans got shot down for a Florida escape in March during the kid's Spring Break, Hazel and I are going to try again to get-away to Florida for a few days in May while Angelina is on her band/choir trip to Chicago. I got us some good fares on Southwest for $79 each way.

We will drop Angelina off at the high school at 5am, then we will be heading to the airport around 9am. We are due back in the same day as Angelina, we get in at 3pm, and Angelina is due back at the school at 10:30pm that night.

Hazel and I will fly in and out of Philly, the band/choir trip goes to Newark, NJ for their flights.

Hey, 5 days away, is better than no days away!!!

good for you guys andy.
you deserve it.
while the stinky teens away, the parents will play eh?

 

[Dyerneeds]

nancy, great news about your dad and spencer.

 

[Dyerneeds]

Pretty!!! B I think you need to go with the birthday tiara!

We should do a group pic for the calendar!!

Jeff didn't you hear that is when we are shooting the photos for the BOB Girl calendar!

i go away for a few days and you ladies seem to be taking over the calendar.

any tiaras or other changes in attire MUST be approved with the express written consent of UNDERDOG.

 

[Dyerneeds]

just like old times.
no one willing to talk to underdog.
its like he has the bubonic plague.
maybe i'll go wake up the pop tart and she if she'll talk to me.

 

[Verandah Man]

good for you guys andy.
you deserve it.
while the stinky teens away, the parents will play eh?

yep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[DISNEYDUET]

i go away for a few days and you ladies seem to be taking over the calendar.

any tiaras or other changes in attire MUST be approved with the express written consent of UNDERDOG.

Why we would never think of doing anything without your expert eye dog!

 

[Dyerneeds]

Why we would never think of doing anything without your expert eye dog!

thanks. i have an excellent eye for personality.

 

[Timon]

robin no likey clowns either.
years ago i had some clown stickers and stuck them to the telephone so when she answered it she got a scare.

Oh that is just cruel Mike!!!

Right Becky your in charge Of the Joke department from now on,this was my only contribution to this BB and am no longer needed for this anymore..

Chris, although I normally don't post jokes (I'm a picture girl ) I thought I would post this one for you but you have to resume your joke posting duties tomorrow ok! We need your sense o' humour around here!

Baked Beans
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love with him. When it became
apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my partner and told
him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed
by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time
I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had
consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made
sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned
and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure
had been building and was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband
was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one
leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and
fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
was worse than a skunk's on a diet of cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room,
I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few
more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back
on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked
through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests
seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday to You !!!!"

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​