1 Year after a relatives wedding & still no thank you...WWYD?

[Skywalker]

Yeah, it can be kind of sad when you give someone something you think they will really like and then you're kind of waiting to hear that hopefully you brought a little joy into their day and then...nothing.

I wouldn't hold a grudge about it and yeah I'm a sucker and I would keep buying gifts for my cousin but I would NOTICE.

Who cares about a formal hand-written thank you card but a freakin' verbal "thanks"? Yeah, anyone can fit that into their schedule.

 

[eliza61]

Unfortunately you can't regulate manners or morals. I wouldn't say any thing, just file it under "bad manners" and remember it for the next time.

 

[jrmasm]

I agree it's bad manners not to send a Thank You note but I think it's also bad manners to withhold future gifts because of a lack of past Thank You notes.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Okay, I didn't read all the posts but my 2 cents is that I don't give gifts because I want to be thanked. I give gifts because I want to. If I get a thank you, great. If I don't, I don't care. My joy is in the giving, not in the acknowledgement.

Now, if I mail the gift I appreciate an acknowledgement that it was received. This can come in the form of an email, text message, phone call. Nothing needs to be hand written and stuck in the mail.

Maybe I'm too easy going. I've got bigger issues to fight.

 

[hentob]

Anyway, should I mention to my cousin that I think it's in poor taste that I never got any thank you's?

Nope. Poor taste to mention it

 

[Nancyg56]

I would positively, absolutely do nothing. I'd move on. I don't sweat the small stuff.

I wouldn't have even NOTICED?

I always think I won't notice but I alwasy do. I don't worry about it but I know who sends me a Thank You and who does not. I have been amused when I get a Thank You for that last event I send a gift for just prior to the invitation to the next one.

 

[disykat]

I agree it's bad manners not to send a Thank You note but I think it's also bad manners to withhold future gifts because of a lack of past Thank You notes.

I disagree. Gifts are not a requirement and you are not witholding everytime you don't give a gift. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to give a gift if you don't think it will be appreciated.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I disagree. Gifts are not a requirement and you are not witholding everytime you don't give a gift. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to give a gift if you don't think it will be appreciated.

ITA with all of the above.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I wouldn't have even NOTICED?

Me neither. I don't expect a written thank you. I just don't.

FWIW, I recall reading that it's in poor taste to point out the bad manners of others.

 

[emma'smom]

I wouldn't worry about it. She's probably busy...isn't everyone? You know she got it. I don't worry about such things.....I'm busy too!

 

[flipturngirl]

I would seriously let it go. Stressing about this kind of stuff is not good for one's body and truthfully it is nothing to stress over.

 

[focusondisney]

I disagree. Gifts are not a requirement and you are not witholding everytime you don't give a gift. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to give a gift if you don't think it will be appreciated.

Very well said!! And that is what a Thank You is supposed to convey- appreciation for the gift & the fact that someone cared enough to take the time & effort to send a gift.

 

[cheermom1]

Well since it hasn't been mentioned I'm going to...you stated that she was preggo when she got married..it just might be that she was sick the whole (like me) and then when the baby came she is overwhelmed with the baby...I mean she might not be trying to be rude..she might not even realized that she didn't say thank you..I mean come on with a new baby and new marriage give her a break?? I also will assume that she is young and all this is new to her and scary..

 

[Scurvy]

I agree it's bad manners not to send a Thank You note but I think it's also bad manners to withhold future gifts because of a lack of past Thank You notes.

No, there is no etiquette rule requiring that you give someone a gift. There is an etiquette rule about thanking people for the gifts they give you. The OP would be perfectly correct etiquette-wise if she chose never to give the person another gift.

Me neither. I don't expect a written thank you. I just don't.

FWIW, I recall reading that it's in poor taste to point out the bad manners of others.

It is rude to point out someone's rudeness to them (unless they have brought up a discussion about the subject and have asked if something is rude as many people do on the Dis, in which case you are free to point out reasons that their behavior would be considered rude) but it's fine to alter your behavior based on their rudeness. If the OP were to stop giving that person gifts and the person was rude enough to ask why they weren't receiving gifts any longer, it would be acceptable for the OP to explain that she chooses not to send gifts to people who don't thank her for them.

Even though written Thank You notes are "etiquettely correct", I don't always expect them. If I never received any thanks for the gifts I gave someone (either written, emailed or verbal) I would no longer be giving that person any gifts in the future.

 

[PeterPan09]

Okay, I didn't read all the posts but my 2 cents is that I don't give gifts because I want to be thanked. I give gifts because I want to. If I get a thank you, great. If I don't, I don't care. My joy is in the giving, not in the acknowledgement.

Now, if I mail the gift I appreciate an acknowledgement that it was received. This can come in the form of an email, text message, phone call. Nothing needs to be hand written and stuck in the mail.

Maybe I'm too easy going. I've got bigger issues to fight.

I feel exactly the same way. If I'm expecting something in return-it's not a gift anymore, it's a trade.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If I was wondering about the gifts, like the baby shower stuff, I would pick up the phone and give them a call.

I am not big on Thank You notes either. I would rather pick up the phone or send an email.

 

[ReneeA]

I don't care if I ever receive another thank you note again. I'd rather people save their time and stamps, honestly. I always give gifts of money for weddings, etc so I know they received the gift when my check's cashed.

I just choose not to get riled about things I find trivial.

 

[jrmasm]

I disagree. Gifts are not a requirement and you are not witholding everytime you don't give a gift. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to give a gift if you don't think it will be appreciated.

Everyone gives gifts or not based on their own critieria. All I was saying is if I hearing someone say "I won't give gifts in the future because X didn't send me a Thank You note." I will think they are rude. A spiteful. And petty. But that is just how I feel. I also don't assume that a lack of TY note means that a gift in unappreaciated. For me, that's way too big of a leap.

 

[disykat]

I also don't assume that a lack of TY note means that a gift in unappreaciated. For me, that's way too big of a leap.

But how would the giver know it was appreciated when they don't even know if it was received?

 

[cheermom1]

Oh for goodness sake people!! the poor girl is probably overwhelmed with being a new wife and mother..if the op wants to know if she got it then she should just call her and make sure she got it and to see how the poor girl is doing...jeez how hard it is for someone to understand that being a new wife and mother is time consuming and you may not even realize that you have not said thank you to someone a YEAR ago!!!