1 in 4 Married Couples Sleep in Separate Beds

[rie'smom]

I think the friction is caused because the statement hits home and people are forced to look and realize that maybe there is a better way of doing things. So right away they get offended and say that I am wrong, when in reality, if they made more of an effort to be together with their SO, their marriage would be stronger.

Being closed minded does not make for good discussion.

 

[JessicaR]

I think the friction is caused because the statement hits home and people are forced to look and realize that maybe there is a better way of doing things. So right away they get offended and say that I am wrong, when in reality, if they made more of an effort to be together with their SO, their marriage would be stronger.

Again why attack others when saying what works for YOU? You may not like it and say you feel bad for others sad whatever but in reality it has no bearing to your world.

There is no wrong and right, why do you think there has to be? Your way, our way, their way, whatever way, still has no bearing on your beliefs.

when in reality, if they made more of an effort to be together with their SO, their marriage would be stronger.

Maybe you should be making more of an effort to be together during waking hours and not being so judgemental over what others do during sleeping hours. I bet your marraige will be stronger if you do.

 

[Christine]

I think the friction is caused because the statement hits home and people are forced to look and realize that maybe there is a better way of doing things. So right away they get offended and say that I am wrong, when in reality, if they made more of an effort to be together with their SO, their marriage would be stronger.

Geez...really? This is kind of sanctimonious.

I would think that most people have tried, put up with the snoring and the noises and the thrashing for a long time before they make that move. You know, the white noise machines, the ear plugs, the breathe right nasal strips. I think a lot of people try.

That you can't even see that and think all those people just don't try tells me you may just be one of those people who can't see anything but how it's done by you.

 

[Disney+Family=Fun]

Unless he is working nights. When he is working I prefer the couch instead of the big bed

 

[srferson]

I think the friction is caused because the statement hits home and people are forced to look and realize that maybe there is a better way of doing things. So right away they get offended and say that I am wrong, when in reality, if they made more of an effort to be together with their SO, their marriage would be stronger.

Umm... Nope. I think I'll just go with 'you're wrong.'

And it's not because your opinion differs from mine.

It's because you want us to respect that your opinion is an opinion and therefore valid. But you refuse to accept that other people's opinions are valid. Instead, you say they are lies because they do not agree with yours.

That is sad.

(And I do sleep in the same bed with my husband, so that has nothing to do with my feelings about your remarks.)

 

[Disney+Family=Fun]

oops...forgot to say "YES we share a bed"...

 

[HelenePA]

I would like to know exactly HOW sleeping (just sleeping) in the same bed makes for a stronger relationship? Please inform me. I'm so glad i'm old enough to know this doesn't make a difference in MY relationship at all...

 

[Dancind]

I voted other. Yes, we share a bed (married 22 years). I cannot wait until I can have my own bed. DD 19 might move out next summer after her soph year of college, and I will be putting the nicest bed I can afford in her bedroom. If I buy it now, she would take it!

DH is early to bed, instantly asleep, and snores, kicks, sighs, really never just breathes quietly. I usually go to bed later, and then can't sleep unless I put in heavy duty earplugs. Which really aren't comfortable, but I do sleep. Of course, I don't hear my daughter coming in at night, or alarms etc.

I think we'll be happier when I can get some quality sleep every night.

 

[srferson]

Sorry to go off topic, but I'm curious...


HelenePA, what does "Yep I am cat stupid" mean?

 

[Christine]

I think we'll be happier when I can get some quality sleep every night.

You will. I remember that I would be actually ANGRY in the middle of the night because I would lay awake for hours. Then I was in foul mood most of the day, until I could get some sleep. I finally used to WHACK my DH to get him to stop and then he would get mad. Then we'd just be sniping at each other.

But apprently I should have gone to a marriage counselor first and discussed my "issues" with his snoring because it seems to be that we weren't working on it. Who knew?

 

[HelenePA]

Sorry to go off topic, but I'm curious...


HelenePA, what does "Yep I am cat stupid" mean?

Oh lets see I got 2 cats of my own... i stupidly told my friend I would cat sit thinking Oh a friend for them to play with for a few days.. Well I am cat stupid.. it was like an all out war between cats in my house for those days... I never owned cats before.. I had no idea it wouldn't be like a puppy coming to play with a dog. Now my cats hate me for bringing in a new dog a month ago..one of my cats continues to attack my dog for no reason.. even while the dog is sleeping the cat is hunting the dog down... My house is like a circus some days

 

[srferson]

My house is like a circus some days

Sounds like it. And that's without even mentioning the four kids!

Thanks for the explanation. Good luck with the circus.

 

[Chelley00]

That is horrible to be sleeping apart from your SO.

My wife and I still snuggle up at night under the covers. 15 years of marriage.

I feel bad for couples that sleep apart. What a sad marriage they must have.

People are so close minded .


My husband and I have a perfect marriage. And we NEVER sleep in the same bed. We work opposite shifts, and when he is home at night every other weekend, I'm used to sleeping alone in the quiet and he snores and I get no sleep. Let me tell you, me on no sleep is what makes a sad marriage. So, he's in the bed during the day, I'm there at night, and every other weekend he comes home and sleeps on the couch. Most couples who sleep apart don't do it because they hate each other. Sometimes it's a necessity.

 

[Angelhalo]

Correct

Two things that ruin a good marriage..

Sleeping apart and keeping your bank accounts apart.

If you do either/both, you won't have a very strong marriage. Not saying you can't get it to work, but you are making it much harder and you are not as happy as other couples who do share both. Again, this is my opinion, so before people go off the deep end and say I am being rude, I am just saying what I feel and not picking on anyone.

Well DH and I prove you wrong on both points. Gotta love people who make wide sweeping generalizations. Life isn't just black and white my friend.

 

[disneyfans95]

Umm... Nope. I think I'll just go with 'you're wrong.'

And it's not because your opinion differs from mine.

It's because you want us to respect that your opinion is an opinion and therefore valid. But you refuse to accept that other people's opinions are valid. Instead, you say they are lies because they do not agree with yours.

That is sad.

(And I do sleep in the same bed with my husband, so that has nothing to do with my feelings about your remarks.)

That is fair. On this topic, I think I am correct, you think otherwise. That is perfectly fine.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I think the friction is caused because the statement hits home and people are forced to look and realize that maybe there is a better way of doing things. So right away they get offended and say that I am wrong, when in reality, if they made more of an effort to be together with their SO, their marriage would be stronger.

Maybe there is so much friction because your posts indicate that the only right wya is your way and anybody else who does it wrong obviously doesn't care about their marriage.

Have you ever known anybody who had a sleep deprived psychosis? My mom did before she was diagnosed with sleep apnea. That's how they figured out she had it. Lack of sleep can lead to or exacerbate all kind of physical and emotional problems including heart disease, diabetes, depression, etc. It can come down to a health issue. My parents are together a lot, they are together up until the time they go to bed. It works for them, they have been happily married for 30 years. And most of those were in separate bedrooms.

 

[MoniqueU]

Unless something is wrong with me and I need extra comfort I sleep happily on the couch. We don't go to sleep at the same time, wake up the same time or watch the same channel on tv. Also he likes to snack late at night and will wake me up doing all sorts of things like that when he gets home at 11 at night or later and I have to be up at 5 30 and he gets to sleep in til 9. Add in my insomnia and vision problems and just getting out of my room and down the stairs carrying a laptop at 4 am its not a good idea

 

[HelenePA]

That is fair. On this topic, I think I am correct, you think otherwise. That is perfectly fine.

Please answer my question... what am I missing by not sleeeping next to someone at night? Its WONDERFUL it works for you.. maybe later down the line we'll go back to sleeping in the same bed (I doubt it though) but I like not sleeping with him.. and I do mean just sleeping.. unconscious. zzzzzzz

 

[MoniqueU]

Also attacking someones marriage because they don't sleep together is beyond odd. If my DH ever gets a set schedule and I don't have to be up at the crack of dawn to get my kids out of bed and out the door I will think about it!!

 

[disneyfans95]

Please answer my question... what am I missing by not sleeeping next to someone at night? Its WONDERFUL it works for you.. maybe later down the line we'll go back to sleeping in the same bed (I doubt it though) but I like not sleeping with him.. and I do mean just sleeping.. unconscious. zzzzzzz

You miss the bonding with your SO. You miss out on the time to talk before you fall asleep. you miss out on the gentle touch of a hand on your back as one person is reading, you miss out on cuddling in the middle of the night, you miss out on the joy of waking next to someone you love in the morning.

I am sure someone will come back with "I miss the snoring" or something, but of course you can fix that. Each their own, but you are removing a huge part of your married life by not sharing a bed.

Why not hop in the car and drive down the road and stay in an apartment or a hotel room? doing the same thing by staying apart. Yet that idea would be crazy....