I typed candies.... not candles.
My Gran Gert does! And that is because she is a bad *** Grannie! Matter of fact, TMZ recently followed her when she went out on a shopping spree. This being just in time for her to be profiled not only on Hoarders, but possibly cops as well. Anyway.... regarding TMZ, she almost flattened out one of the camera men. Not because he was in her facial, but instead because she kept on asking him out, and he kept on telling her no, and that it is not her, it is him. He is engaged, and gay, not bi. So even if he was the latter, by virtue of being engaged, he still could not accommodate her desires. Then by the time she went back home, the reporters began to grill her over her hording issues. She told them, they only paid her enough to follow her that day, and not to come into her home. So she started yelling at them,telling them to get out, otherwise she was going to call the cops, not the security guard that works at the residential complex, because they are apparently worthless, and if they help someone, they will get fired. So anyway... the cops arrive, not because of the disturbances, but because they had to give her a court order to clean up her property or else, face eviction, a fine and maybe even some jail time. Well this would make for grannies third strike, and she does not like the joint. Although she had become rather well versed in the making of pruno. I personally do not like that drink. She made it one Christmas day... yuck... So anyway... two cops arrive, they were cute, so Grannie starts to put the moves on them. Well, they were not flattered in the least! And boy howdy, did things get really ugly then. Because Grannie thought that the camera crew from Hoarders was going to be arriving tomorrow. NO! OMG! She remembered incorrectly! So now, we have TMZ filming the cops, and the Hoarders Crew as well. While the Hoarders crew is filming the cops and TMZ! Whoa! This is way more action from what Gran had ever wanted to see in her home, much less on her front lawn! Ah... and just in time for Thanksgiving too!
She then received her court order... the cops once again told her no.. then they left... much to the relief of Grannie! Although she was hoping to ge the towheads number. OH well. She knows where there is a nice little speed trap, just outside of town, which is where she picked up her last date. Once at a rest area, some wacko almost kidnapped her, but then that sort of thing can happen when you talk to the wrong stranger! And in her case, not just talk, but try to pick up. She really needs to go into a retirement village of some kind, where she can meet men her own age. And if she is really lucky, they will have a pension, and their own teeth too, and no wife! Or children, nor any bad habits, unless they are ones that she approves of!
Coming soon.... Gran on TMZ and Hoarders..... I will update y'all asap.
Oh sorry... it is not the low sulfur type. Because Grannie love the stink of rotting eggs. It goes back to her upbringing at a Romanian orphanage... but then that is another story.
TNP... have you ever been on an episode of cops? I almost was... he he!