I think this is such a personal choice.
I have two boys! they are 5 & 7! My gyn told me the best present i gave my older son was having a sibling for him and i believe it is true for our family. I did not have bedrest w/the first, but i did have many miscarriages prior to my first son being born so the entire pregnancy i was "worried" at the dr. everyother week for sonograms etc. The 2nd pregnancy i was a bit more laid back - as i didn't have that much "free" time to worry. I am always worrying about finances, so i can see that side as well. Why not have your husband start looking for another job that w/give him health benefits as well - if this is an option for him. I do understand you wanting to be home. I worked fulltime prior to my kids then i stayed home but my husband lost his job in aug. o6 so i started back part-time and thank god he got his job back a few months later and i must say that was the most freigtning time of my life! I am still woring p/t and i love it and i do beacuase i work 3x a week while my kids are in school.. I realize i'm rambling on about me, but i think you must feel sure about your decision to have more kids both you and your husband need to be on the same page! I would love to have a 3rd child, but i feel i'm getting up there in age, they have each other and i don't think i really want to start over and also college will be another huge expense! There is no right and wrong - but you want to be peaceful at night w/whatever decison is right for your family - only you really know what that is!
The best of luck to you and your family,
lisa
rzansKat;23870611]Hi DISers,
Everyone's been so helpful with the threads I've posted. I've debated starting this one for quite a while since it's really personal. So, I am looking for opinions and realize that it really is our choice, but perhaps you could help me with some of your life experiences. I know this type of thread has been posted before, but I feel our situation is more budget related so it belongs on this board. Sorry in advance, this will be a long post.
The great debate is 1 or 2 kids. We currently have DS3 who we absolutely adore. He's been a blessing (except for this whole potty training thing
) and I'm so glad to have him in our lives. DH would love 2, 3, even 4 kids. Originally my thoughts were 2 or 3. Well, after a high risk pregnancy and bed rest for the last three months, my thoughts changed...for a while. It was scary to be high risk and have to get fetal monitoring weekly and ultrasounds bi-weekly. It was very cool to watch him grow in utero, but still, there was a lot of prayer in our household. Obviously we all turned out fine, and I've had no health issues since...unless you count those stubborn 10 pounds I can't seem to lose!
After DS was born, I was let go from my job, long story, won't add it here. I took it as sign and stayed home with him, which I loved. Then when DS was 1, DH lost his job. We both started looking for work. DH and I got jobs around the same time. I work part time, but carry our health insurance. DH's job will only cover half of his medical, and not pick up any costs to insure our family. In that sense, we've been kind of stuck. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the adult interaction that my job provides, but somedays, I wish I could stay home. I feel like I'm missing out, and my DS is so big already and somedays I just don't want to go to work. I do it for the insurance, to provide for my family. Also, my mom watches my DS three days a week so I can work, DH is home the other day.
So now we come to the present. I always told my DH when DS was 3 or 4 we would talk about having another one. So we have been...talking...and I have been doing major cleaning...and cleaning...and cleaning. We live in a 2BR apt and can comfortably fit 4 if we get rid of some of our junk...so I've been cleaning. Which leads me to believe, despite the risk, my heart is on board. I have the normal concerns...can I love a baby as much as DS...how will I split my time fairly...I think every parent, whether admitting it or not worries about this.
But I also worry about finances. We are debt free with the exception of DH student loan. We've paid it down significantly this year, but we also know we'll need a new or new to us car will be in the near future. I am just starting to feel comfortable with our budget and we are not pulling money out of savings every month like we had been in the past couple of years.
Now we all now how much babies cost.
And how much children cost as they grow. I am usually ruled by finance. Most decisions I make are based around finances, but I don't know if I can make this decision based on that. I feel if I wait until we're financially ready, it'll never happen. And I don't want a baby based on the oh babies are so cute, cuddly, etc. I'm thinking of another child, of picturing our family as four...of feeling complete. I guess I just don't feel done.
A large problem is I know once a baby arrived, I'd prefer to stay home. At least until both kids are in school full time. That's a personal choice that I really feel is best for us. DH has offered to ask his employer if they'll pick up more of the insurance or even get a job working UPS nights to cover insurance. Is this fair? Do any of you do this? Help please, oh great DISers! Bring on the wisdom...and if you've made it this far, my heartfelt thanks.
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