Discussion in 'Completed Trip Reports' started by Peter Panic Attack, Apr 2, 2009.
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Chapter 11: Did we really need a whole chapter about lunch?
Our immediate problem after lunch was that Pal Mickey wanted to go on “It’s tough to be a bug” real bad. I’m not sure why…..I think maybe he’s got a bit of a schoolboy crush on Princess Atta…if you get my drift. Anyway, on our last trip to AK, we had skipped this attraction and he was totally devastated…..poor little feller wouldn’t eat for weeks.
You see, the problem was that our kids weren't exactly "onboard" with the whole ITTBAB idea. At this point, I need to confess that we have made some mistakes in the past with our kids. Oh sure, I know… we all make mistakes. What parent out there hasn’t slightly overheated a baby bottle…..or misplaced a pacifier….or ran out of diapers and tried to use sandwich bags and duct tape. The point is that we’ve all been there. I’m talking about different mistakes. What mistakes, you ask? Nah….I don’t really want to get into it....too painful.
Ok, you twisted my arm…here are the juicy details. When DS was 7 and DD was 4, we took them to Disneyland. Wow….what terrific parents we are. Hmmm….you’d think so, wouldn’t you? Anyway, we did almost everything right…..with one major exception. We took them on “Honey I shrunk the Audience”. In hindsight, they miiiiiiiiight have been a little young.
Looking back, I’m not even sure how much of the show they actually watched, but I do know that the only “shrink” they enjoyed was the one they visited for 90 minutes every Wednesday afternoon for a year and a half after we got them back home. I’ll never forget the look of betrayal in their little eyes as we picked them up from the floor…..still curled up tightly in the fetal position. It was awful. That look haunts me to this day.
Ever since the “incident”, it’s been tough sledding trying to get them on a 3-D attraction. On our last trip, we were successful with “Mickey’s Philharmagic” and “Muppet 3-D” mostly because….well, lets be honest….how scary can Mickey and the Muppets be? I mean, sure the kids were traumatized….but they still had their pride. Bugs, on the other hand, carry a built-in scare factor…..and subsequently the kids had been telling us to talk to the hand...because the traumatized face isn't listening.
So, after lunch…while they were fat and happy…we just kind of threw it out there. “Hey kids, who’s up for a little ITTBAB” and then we tried to act real nonchalant…..you know….like we didn’t care. Initially, there was just silence…so I snuck a quick peek to make sure they hadn’t dropped down into the fetal position again. To my surprise, they still looked relatively happy….with possibly a hint of apprehension mixed in. That was a good sign…..because I’ll take mild apprehension over blind terror any day…..as anybody that was at our wedding and saw the look on Tinkershell’s face can attest. Yup…..I’d have taken a look of mild apprehension on that day for sure. It was awful. That look haunts me to this day.
Anyway, next thing we knew we were winding through the path that leads to ITTBAB. Can you smell that people? That’s the smell of victory……..although, well, I’m sure we’ll be fine. As we took our seats, I felt obligated to warn the kids about the little “sting in the back” part of the show. I had done some research on this sting and had determined from the numerous first-hand eye-witness reports that the sensation ranged anywhere from a very slight tickle in the back to an excruciating surge of electricity that ripped through your body and left you teetering on the brink of unconsciousness….depending on who you asked. That’s about the time DD Woob’s mild apprehension turned to blind terror. I don't know....maybe honesty isn't the best policy.
So far so good.....we might just pull this thing off.
After what seemed like an eternity of dangling spiders and rampaging rodents, we emerged from the attraction apologizing profusely to DD Woob….who was no longer speaking to us. Pal Mickey was doing his best to comfort her, all the while shooting me a dirty “I told you so” look over her shoulder…..which is a total load of bull because he’s the one that wanted to go on it in the first place. Thanks a lot Pal Mickey…..hang me out to dry why don’t you.
I think she's in shock
Next up: Chapter 12 - oh...just shut up with the chapters already...they're nonsense
Poor DD Woob, I know how she feels. You know...I'm starting to think you are blaming poor departed Pal Mickey for things that were not his fault....then again perhaps I have been watching too many detective show and am overly suspicious......
My father would call that a "character building experience". I know some adults that don't care for ITTBAB. I love to get unsuspecting grown ups on this attraction and watch their reactions. It's hilarious.
Poor little Woobie, did you keep the number of that therapist?
"Oh sure, I know
we all make mistakes. What parent out there hasnt slightly overheated a baby bottle
..or misplaced a pacifier
.or ran out of diapers and tried to use sandwich bags and duct tape. "
Thats just flat out hysterical!!
We also traumatized our DS on HISTA. DH had to carry him out of there flailing and screaming in the middle of the movie. It's been 9 years and I think he's forgiven us - almost.
After a little honest soul-searching....I think you may be right....but it's Pal Mickey's fault
With me as a parent.....it's on speed dial
I've got to admit...even I laughed at that one.
Don't beat yourself up......therapists gotta eat too
Chapter 12 Oh
just shut up with the chapters already
Seeing as DD Woobie needed a little time to regain her composure
not to mention her Disney magic
we decided to saunter on over to Maharajah Jungle Trek because
.in my experience
. nothing soothes frazzled nerves like giant bats. Corpus Kilochiroptera? Yes, but to the natives... Shikaka.
They called MJT a self-guided tour
but we threw caution to the wind and designated DS Buddy as our official un-official tour guide
.to keep him out of trouble as much as anything. I believe it was 12th century English author and poet Geoff Chaucer who wrote idle hands are the devils tools
or was that Jeff Probst, emmy-winning host of Survivor
I always get those two mixed up. Anyway, being christened the official un-official guide also gave DS Buddy the opportunity to dust off his Hoover Dam tour guide bit from Vegas Vacation. Ill be your dam tour guide
.does anyone have any dam questions?.......please dont forget to visit the dam gift shop.
My problem with zoos or zoo-type places is that I want to walk up to an exhibit
.identify the animal
and then move on. The rest of the family, on the other hand
.prefer to loiter
.or dawdle, if you prefer. They want to snap pictures. They try to communicate with the animals through pantomime. They join hands and close their eyes
..trying to imagine what it would be like to switch places with each individual animal
.to walk a mile in its hooves, if you will. They are 100% immersed in the experience
.which is great
if you arent saddled with my tiny microscopic attention span.
By the time we finished MJT, our fastpasses for KS had suitably ripened and we were good to go. And not a moment to soon either, because Pal Mickey had heard rumors through some of his old AK contacts that there were poachers in the area and he was more than a little concerned about his homey Little Red. Pal Mickey was like that
.always thinking of others before himself. He had a heart of gold. I know this for a fact, because it bought it online in a special Pal Mickey accessory pack
..along with nerves of steel and a kung-fu grip.
Sure enough, about half way through our peaceful safari, the driver received a radio message that Little Red was in trouble. It sounded like it might be too late for Big Red
the sweet and sassy single-mother of Little Red
.who was probably better known as the savy business-women responsible for the #1 selling cinnamon gum since 1987
.but we might just be able to save her baby.
What followed was a harrowing chase over rough jungle trails
.much of which was a blur to me
although at one point I do remember screaming at the driver to stop because I was positive we had just passed DeVine. Ultimately, we were able to chase off the poachers and save the day
.all thanks to Pal Mickey
.according to him.
Next up: Chapter 13 Were still at AK right? Just checking
you are "at one with nature"...just like Tinkershell and the kids. Me..not so much. In fact, I may hold the record for number of times being stung. I've been stung inside my shoe. I've been stung with my arm out the car window at 60 mph. I've even had a bee get stuck inside my sunglasses and been stung. Obviously....nature hates me....or at least dislikes me deeply.
It's not you, it's your tension with nature. You know, Casear Milan says tension in the leash when walking the dog transmits down the leash and to the dog, thus causing tension in the dog. Perhaps nature senses your tension and becomes tense around you. Or, it could just be that nature doesn't like you. . . .
I am beginning to wonder if Pal Mickey's passing was really as innocent as you have lead us to believe. We currently have two suspects with a motive.
1) DD Woob, once she realized it was really Pal Mickey that got the family on "It's Tough to be a Bug"
2) Dad - - because Pal Mickey "hung him out to dry"
hmmmmmm - - - Your cover story is starting to have holes in it. Who did you have investigating his death? Goofy? Minnie and Pluto are not going to be happy if it was really murder.
Just found your TR. I love it!
What a great TR...hoping that there will be lots more!
You know....now that you mention it...ever since I started walking our dog he's become a nail biter......and I think he's chain smoking.
I'm not too worried about Minnie. Pluto, on the other hand....is rumored to have some pretty unsavory connections. *cough cough mafia cough cough*
Thank you....so far this TR is progressing like a season of "24" so I'm just hoping I can finish it in my lifetime.
Chapter 13 Were still at AK right? Just checking
AK sometimes gets treated like its the Ringo Starr of the WDW parks but we always have a great time there. Its just so jungly. Sure, sometimes you get lost for a couple of days but thats all part of the fun. In fact, my theory is that DeVine is actually a tourist who got lost on the way to Camp Minnie-Mickey and was eventually just absorbed by the jungle. Well
.I didnt say it was a good theory.
Speaking of Camp Minnie-Mickey (hows that for a segue), thats where we were headed next because we had us a hankering for a little Festival of the Lion King. Tinkershells non-negotiable itinerary was basically just for the morning, so we were at the point in the day where we get to free-lance a bit. Hmmmmm
.although it still seemed like Tinkershell was calling all the shots
..and she did still seem to be consulting her thick leather engraved journal o itinerarys quite a bit. Nope
probably just a coincidence. She promised we were playing it loosey goosey
..although she seemed to have trouble making eye contact when she said it.
Pal Mickey insisted he that could lead the way
.so he plunged into the nearest bush with the family in tow. Pal Mickey didnt do the beaten path
..he always took a shortcut. I guess he just loved the challenge. Anyway, after wandering lost through Discovery Island for a time
..where we didnt see DeVine by the way
.but we did meet a nice Dr. Livingstone who seemed to have gotten a little muddled as well
we finally emerged near the bridge to Camp Minnie-Mickey.
At this point, we were hustling double-time to FTLK because
as you all know
. if you get there late you end up stuck in the giraffe section
.and Im not buying the whole giraffes go bleet story theyre trying to sell us. Ive been to the zoo plenty of times and have yet to hear a giraffe go bleet. From my experience
..they basically just stare and chew. Hence
.for the sake of authenticity
..it is my strong belief that the people in the giraffe section should be instructed to stare and chew rather than bleet. If you are as outraged about this affront to nature as I am....and, curiously, few are.... Ill be circulating a petition after the TR. Please sign it and pass it to your neighbor.
The last time we were at FTLK, we were in the elephant section
.which was a good news/bad news scenario. The good news was that I do a top shelf elephant impression. In fact
.on one occasion I was doing my impression at the zoo and ended up briefly engaged to a sweet young elephant named Sophie. Poor little thing had already picked out our china pattern before we cleared up the unfortunate misunderstanding. The bad news was that the elephant section spent the whole show looking at the business end of Simba...which frankly....it not his best side. This year we were in the lion section. Is my lion as good as my elephant? Probably not
.but few things are.
See....that's the elephant section back there behind Simba's booty
FTLK was on our must-do list for AK and, once again, it did not disappoint. By show of hands
..who else loves the acrobatic monkeys. I know. Those little buggers are flipping all over the place...although I wasn't aware that the trampoline and trapeze were found so abundantly in the jungle. OK
also by show of hands
.how many people are disturbed by how gigantic Timons head looks when hes standing next to real people. Yup
its pretty freaky. In fact, it gives me nightmares. Hes like the elephant man or something. I bet he has to sleep sitting up. They should make him wear a burlap hood. In fact....I'm going to add "Timon needs a burlap hood" to the petition because that's how strongly I feel about it. Seriously....he's hideous.
Next up: Chpt 14 - How to bungle the jungle parade.
I love FTLK too! It's one of the only places that you can make animal noises in public and not get stared at! I also agree with the whole AK shaft theory. As we've previously discussed, I love the animals, thus making this park in the top two, MK wins first.
P.S. Poor Sophie!
lovin your trip report
Ah yes....poor Sophie. However, I believe it was English poet Alfred Lord Tennyson who wrote "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"....or was that Alfred Pennyworth....tireless butler, confidante and surrogate father figure to Batman....I always get those two mixed up.
Thanks. I'm glad your enjoying it.
I love FOTLK too! I also don't buy into the whole bleeting thing so I'm glad someone out there has the same opinion. Lovin' the trippie!
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