Discussion in 'Completed Trip Reports' started by Peter Panic Attack, Apr 2, 2009.
Lovin the trip report. Can't wait for the next installment.
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This has to be one of the funniest TRs of all times. Would you be interested in a job writing SW Test reports
I just cannot believe she wouldn't budget you a little time for a cat scan.
Sometimes you have seen one TR, you have seen them all...but this is unique! Keep it up!
To my great relief, ours looked more like a free Adam Lambert concert at the Grand Ole Opry.
Now thats funny!!!!
If you'll excuse me for a moment.....I need to go to my happy place.
Sadly shebaxric.....there are bad people in this world....thats why we have happy places.
They way things are going....I'll probably write an entire chapter about the bus ride.
Thanks and.....people really get paid money to do this?
I know. She follows the pirate code. Those who fall behind, get left behind.
I believe it was Audre Lorde who said "there are no new trip reports. There are only new ways of making them felt" or was that.....oh nevermind...you know the rest.
Will anyone ever be able to listen to "Ring of Fire" the same way again?
Laugh out loud FUNNY! I love it! Poor little mole--"it rubs the lotion..." sorry I just had to say it!
Chpt 8: Please…I’m begging you… just get on the bus already
We had been planning our WDW vacation for months and no detail of our AK Day…no matter how small and seemingly inconsequential…had been overlooked…..except that I had grossly underestimated the enormity of my pack. After a couple of unsuccessful tries up the bus steps, the driver finally had to lower the ramp.
On the ride over, we all synchronized our watches and put the finishing touches on our plan of attack. As soon as the bus rolled to a stop, we were going to burst out the doors and run like raving lunatics to the Rain Forest Café…..which had a top-secret entrance to the park… a top-secret entrance so secret…that if I told you about it…..I’d have to ask you not to share it with anyone else.
There was a small element of risk in this top-secret entrance plan because sometimes the Rain Forest Café manager de jour isn’t privy to the top-secret entrance beyond the gift shop and fails to open the sliding glass door that grants you access to, said, top-secret entrance. If that were to happen, Pal Mickey had been instructed to fake a heart attack while Tinkershell jimmied the lock.
Luckily, not only was our manager privy…but he was also informed and apprised and , before we knew it, we had arrived at the top-secret AK entrance with only one young couple, complete with matching baby, ahead of us.
Can you smell that? That, my friends, is the smell of victory.
DS Buddy near the top-secret entrance
Unfortunately, it quickly became evident that the young couple with baby accoutrement had no clue as to how to enter the park. They didn’t have their cards ready. They didn’t know where to slide them. They didn’t know what “slide” meant. They thought the scanners were for their retinas. You name it….they didn’t know it. Finally, the CM took the confused papa gently by the hand and walked him through the process.
By this time, I had briefly lost consciousness and slumped to the ground but Tinkershell always carries smelling salts for just such an occasion and, soon, we were off to the rope drop. Using a complex calculation which involved measuring the position of the sun in relation to the rhinos horn in the upper left-hand quadrant of the Tree of Life….a calculation so secret that if I told you…..I would have to ask you not to share with anyone else….we were able to position ourselves in the exact perfect spot in the crowd from which to make that all important quick walk, which is definitely not a run because that is a Disney no-no, to our ultimate destination…..Expedition Everest (cue the trumpets and release the confetti).
As we cut through Asia, I took the opportunity to carefully scan both sides of the trail for the illusive Devine…but to no avail. Blast her creative camouflage and realistic foliage.
When we arrive at EE, I headed for the fastpass machines….for you see, I am the designated fastpass specialist… and Pal Mickey and the family went on ahead….with the understanding that they were to go on without me should something happen….heaven forbid.
This was our first encounter with EE and everybody was excited….except Pal Mickey who was totally ticked off because we wouldn’t buy him the Pal Mickey safari costume. Yeah…well…money doesn’t grow on trees Pal Mickey. Maybe next time you won’t blow all your moola on pay-per-view wrestling.
Tinkershell comforts poor Pal Mickey
We took some video as we wound through the cue even though we knew it’d end up being some of that dreaded swoosh-pan footage that makes you sick when you watch it but we just couldn’t help ourselves. We were giddy....and giddiness leads to poor decisions. The crowds were very light because that’s what you get when you flawlessly execute a carefully designed plan and, lickety-split, we had boarded the ride and were hurtling through the Himalayas in search of the legendary yedi….and yak apparently because they later opened a restaurant together. Seemed like strange bed-fellows to me….not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Next up: Chapter 9 - please, somebody make it stop
How courageous of your family to proceed without you! I have never seen Devine either, I didn't know she existed until joining the DIS!
I Love this report!! The men in the white coats will be here to get me soon because I'm just sitting by myself in a corner of the couch staring at the laptop and laughing hysterically. ...Oh, they're here, gotta go!
This year, I'm going to see her for sure. Does anyone know if you are allowed to bring a weed whacker into the park?
Well, I always knew men in white coats were going to be associated with this trip report as some point. I just didn't think they would be coming for you.
I think I have an explanation for this odd pairing... the yeti is serving up the yak in the CS meals. IMO: YUCK!!!
I am so loving your report! DH and I must have a PAL Mickey! Does he have cousins?
Tell Pal Mickey if he doesn't quit being pouty, he may end up earning his allowance by cleaning up after the elephants!
This is a great TR!
Sounds like someone had a bad CS experience
Pal Mickey had a ginormous extended family......I used to tease him that he was part rabbit.
If only I could.......if only I could.
Thanks....but it's not over yet. I've still got loads of time to screw it up.
Chapter 9 - please, somebody make it stop
So, after a quick roundtable discussion with the kids and Pal Mickey about the pros and cons of inter-species love
much of which I stole directly from an Oprah show spotlighting the recent proliferation of Yak/Yedi relationships
..we consulted Tinkershells non-negotiable itinerary and discovered we needed to skedaddle on over to Primeval Whirl. Going from EE to PW in DinoLand USA seemed like a pretty significant drop in the old fun-o-meter but
..I guess I should have thought of that before I pricked my finger and signed my name at the bottom of Tinkershells itinerary. Thank goodness I had two souls......or am I thinking about kidneys.
Two year ago when we rode PW, just as our car was pulling away from the station, Florida treated us to a torrential downpour
.torrential downpour is not an exaggeration. It was akin to going through a car wash with the top down
..except no soap
.or giant rotating bristles. We couldnt see a thing
especially Pal Mickey who had been unceremoniously crammed inside a poncho
..again, because of his unreasonable fear of water. I told Tinkershell we shouldnt let him watch The Poseidon Adventure. The poor little feller had nightmares for weeks.
This time on PW, Mother Nature extended us her full courtesy
..and to be honest
.I kind of missed the rain.
Pal Mickey catching a ride w/ Tinkershell
Pal Mickey likes to jump into pictures at the last second.....he's so lame
Kali River Rapids was next on the list
and, of course, you know what that meant
.we were headed back to Asia and another shot at Devine. At this point, I was kicking myself for passing on the thermal imaging heat seeking goggles I had seen offered in the Skymall magazine on our flight into Orlando
..and for only $27,000 too
..they were practically giving them away. Oh well, I believe it was Claude McDonald that said opportunity is a bird that never perches or was it Spider Man
I always get those two mixed up.
I have a confession to make about KRR
..we ride it wearing ponchos (thaaaaats right I said ponchos
.and I can hear you snickering in the back by the way
) I know
.many people think that wearing a poncho on KRR is cheating. Well, guess what
.sometimes in life people cheat. If this werent true
I never would have gotten detention in 7th grade social studies because some ditzy cheerleader batted her eyelashes at me and asked to copy off my test.
The problem with the no poncho clique is that a lot of them skip the ride altogether because they dont want to spend the rest of their AK day dripping wet. So
heres an idea
..and Im just spit-balling here. Why dont people ride KRR
.but at the same time wear some type of water-proof cloak like
.oh I dont know
.perhaps a poncho
.and then they can have their cake and eat it too? Plus, they can ride KRR without getting wet.
So I guess the moral of the story is this, some times cheaters do prosper
.unless my kids are reading this
.in which case, cheaters never prosper
..and go do your homework.
In any event, we rode KRR three times in a row without having to disembark. Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot. Unfortunately, on the last two rides, DS threw caution
.along with his better judgment
.to the wind and removed his poncho. All across the park, babies cried and birds took flight as Tinkershell's cry of anguish echoed through the jungle.
DS's unfortunate act of bravado ultimately lead to
..what many believe to be
the worlds worst case of pruny feet. All of the graphic photos along with sworn statements from the people unfortunate enough to witness the hideously wrinkled feet first hand have been forwarded on to the appropriate people at Guinness World Records
.but we are still waiting to hear back. Apparently, there some guy out in Wyoming who's stuck in his bathtub that's giving us a run for our money.
Next up: Chapter 10: Chapter You keep saying that word
.but I dont think it means what you think it means.
I needed to come out of lurkdom long enough to comment on how much this TR is making me laugh!
Having stayed at both CRB and POFQ this very nearly made me burst out laughing because I totally know where you're coming from. We stayed in the Barbados building one year....*shudder*....that walk.
Okay, when I read this I literally had to reach up and pinch my mouth shut to stop myself from laughing hysterically so my co-worker and her clients wouldn't think I'm a weirdo.
I have been enjoying your TR so much, I went back and read your unfinished report. Big mistake. No closure.
We will also be at POFQ this December! Dec. 11th-21st, in fact. Maybe we'll cross paths.
Gotta Get To Disney!
This is my favorite trip report EVER! I can't tell you how many times I laugh out loud! Please, please, please....finish this one!
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