Chapter 10: Chapter You keep saying that word
.but I dont think it means what you think it means.
So lets review what weve learned so far at AK:
- EE was awesome
- Cheaters enjoy KRR while non-cheaters end up with pruny appendages.
- Devine is as slippery as a mole covered in lotion
A quick glance at Tinkershells non-negotiable itinerary revealed it was nearly lunch-time. However, Pal Mickey and I ran a few calculations in our heads (I swear sometimes his brain is like a computer) and decided, if we really hurried, we should have just enough time to ride EE with our fastpasses before butting up against the lunch deadline. Obviously, this decision was fraught with danger because we knew that, if we had miscalculated even to the slightest degree, we would almost certainly end up violating the sanctity of the non-negotiable itinerary and for this
.. Tinkershell would make us pay
and pay dearly.
DS actually decided to pass on EE
.. he was still busy emptying water out of his pockets from KRR and was afraid hed just slow us down
..opting instead to stretch out on a sunny rock to dry.. ..along with all the other soggy non-cheaters. The rest of us scampered off to EE using our now patented quick walk, which is definitely not a run because that is a Disney no-no. EE was even better the second time, possibly due to the added excitement of the almost certain death that awaited us if we were late for lunch. Turns out, we made it
.just in the nick of time.
As we settled in at our table in the dining area at Flame Tree BBQ, the first thing I noticed was a little sign prohibiting people from feeding the birds. Ouch
..that was not good. Tinkershell does not do well with dont feed the birds signs. For you see, she comes from a long and distinguished line of dissident animal feeders. On one occasion when we were visiting her parents in Phoenix, we went to a zoo that featured endangered animals. Every cage was plastered with signs begging people not to feed the animals because of their delicate diets. The only affect these signs had on Tinkershells mother was she had to aim higher as she was throwing handfuls of Christmas cookies through the bars.
Anyway, because Im a rule-follower, Tinkershell tries her best to behave herself around me. She does so partially because she loves me and partially because
..when she does break rules
.I start to react like Rain Man around a steaming bath. But, because of her tainted bloodline, I was pretty sure that the moment I left her alone, Tinkershell was going to start feeding her some birds.
The plan was for me to gobble my lunch and then head on over to Kilimanjaros Safari to grab some fastpasses for later. Ok
.it wasnt so much a plan as it was just dealing with the reality of the situation
.because we all pretty much knew I was going to gobble my lunch
. because thats how I roll. Anyway, I decided I might as well do something useful while I was waiting for all these chew and swallow your food nutjobs to finish.
After I returned with the fastpasses, I made my way back to our table
fully expecting to see it swarming with every type of fowl indigenous to the region. Curiously, my family was no longer where I had left them. For a moment I panicked
certain that the massive throng of feathered creatures Tinkershell had lured to our table had picked up my family and carried them far away. Thankfully, after a desperate search, I found them waiting at a different table near the front of the dining area
..safe and sound
..although..it is just me or does DD Woobie look a little disgruntled?
As the story goes, Tinkershell had began feeding the birds like a woman possessed the minute my footsteps had faded into the distance. Shortly thereafter, she had gotten up and pushed her way through the living, breathing pavilion of feathers that now totally enveloped our table in search of a restroom
possibly to wash some of the rapidly accumulating bird filth from her person. While she was gone, a CM fought his way through the barrier of claws and beaks to our table and handed DD Woobie a rather nasty card scolding her for breaking the rules
.something sweet Woobie would never do
because she is like me
.nearly perfect in every way.
We kept the card as a souvenir.
so peaceful......hard to believe it would soon look like a scene from an Alfred Hitchcock movie
Next up: Chapter 11: Did we really need a whole chapter about lunch?
Not that your TR needs the enhancement, its prose is poetic enough on it's own. Perhaps some of us would care to see who we are enamored with. . .
I myself would never feed birds, either, but not because I'm a rule follower. I grew up in San Diego, and as you know, it's near the ocean.
To make a long story short, I had a hot dog stolen from me when I was a child by a horrible seagul. To this day, I cannot feed the birds. Now, when it comes to other animals, I'm on board!!
