So I got an anonymous letter yesterday...

[casey49781]

first i would make a copy of the letter,,,,,then do some investigating on my own,,,,show up at the bar without being seen and observe what is going on,,,,people just dont out of the norm receive letters like the one you got without something going on,,,,,,and as far as your husbands response that was a bit of extreme from him,,,,,quietly do some following around,,,check on a few others ,,,,credit cards ,,,cells,,,,you may even need to take a 2 1/2hour trip ,,,,and soon u will find all the answers you need,,,,,,, and good luck,,,,,

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I was going to stay out of this, but the PI statement just struck a nerve.

If she has no reason to not trust him, there are no other "warning signs", hiring a PI would be a big mistake. By looking further into this, on her own, without him knowing, she is saying that she does not trust him. If he found out, that could be very harmful to their relationship and cause damage beyond repair. I think she should continue to trust him, until such a time he gives her reason not to.

Sorry it strikes a nerve with you but I was saying what I would do. I was not saying that is what she should do.

 

[MrsKreamer]

No advice here. Just lots of hugs! I hope you are feeling well, and the situation at hand gets settled.

 

[Maleficent13]

I wish I could take credit for the Raymond Chandler reference but I was simply quoting Maleficent13.

I went to lunch, and came back to see MosMom taking all the credit for my Chandler reference!!!

Good to see you stepped up and set the record straight!!

 

[Hillbeans]

I am curious though what the letter actually said. Was it just short and vague, or was it more of a "Thought you should know" kind of note? Or was it a note sounding like a woman scorned?

That may give some idea who really sent this note to get to the bottom of this whole ordeal.

 

[sue1013]

Same thing happened to SIL. She got the letter freaked out told the family, then promptly went into denial. Turns out her sister sent it. She sent the letter bacause she knew how her sister would react, instead of looking at things closely she would just stop speaking to her sister. SIL is the type that if you were to come out and tell her she would accuse you of lying. Well 7 yrs later her DH gets caught again. He has been cheating with the same woman for 9 yrs. Now instead of putting the anger where it belongs with her DH she blames the family for no one telling her. Step back take a clear look at your life and decide if it needs more investigation.

 

[SeeDisney]

All I can say is WOW!!! Can't imagine what you're feeling....

 

[BabyTigger99]

I don't think the ex-wife would do it, and she would have had to drive an hour and a half just to mail it. It was a very vague letter. What strikes me with it, is that it says he was with "the other woman" the night before the National Guard Bowling Tournament, and I was with him that night!!! The whole night!!! I don't know, I guess I am just more angry than anything. And truthfully, I really don't have a problem with him going out. It is a bar only for military members, you need a military ID to get it. He just gets together with the people he works with and they unwind from the day. It isn't like he is sitting there for hours on end getting drunk 5 nights a week.

 

[Rafikifan]

Baby Tigger 99 are you ok? I've been reading this thread and you haven't responded in a while. I think I can speak for others here that nobody means to make you more upset than you already are it's just sometimes it's hard to have clear perspective when YOU'RE in the middle of a situation like this and you don't want to believe it could possibly be true. And it might not be. But something's up because adults (or normal ones anyway) don't take time to send anonymous letters for no reason. I wish you the best. Take care of YOURSELF.

 

[Mermaid02]

I know someone who had the same thing happen to her. I told her I'd get a PI... she trusted her dh and they stayed together for a couple more years.... now he is MARRIED to the woman that he WASN'T having an affair with....

I wouldn't automatically accuse him... but I would check it out.

 

[RadioNate]

I don't think the ex-wife would do it, and she would have had to drive an hour and a half just to mail it. It was a very vague letter. What strikes me with it, is that it says he was with "the other woman" the night before the National Guard Bowling Tournament, and I was with him that night!!! The whole night!!! I don't know, I guess I am just more angry than anything. And truthfully, I really don't have a problem with him going out. It is a bar only for military members, you need a military ID to get it. He just gets together with the people he works with and they unwind from the day. It isn't like he is sitting there for hours on end getting drunk 5 nights a week.

While I am part of the "where there is smoke" camp could it be possible that the letter sender knows the ex as his wife, doesn't know about the re-marriage and is just really confused?

Maybe they think YOU are the other woman?? I don't know how long you've been married or when his divorce was but it's just something to think about.

 

[SC Minnie]

trust your gut. women tend to know but don't want to believe when something is going on.

If the letter was very vague and didn't name names I would take it as someone wanting cause trouble. Especially if there is not nor have ever been any indication that something was going on.

 

[HappyMommy2]

While I am part of the "where there is smoke" camp could it be possible that the letter sender knows the ex as his wife, doesn't know about the re-marriage and is just really confused?

Maybe they think YOU are the other woman?? I don't know how long you've been married or when his divorce was but it's just something to think about.

I was kind of thinking (and for your sake, OP, hoping) that this might be true.

At any rate, I hope you will find all the answers you need very soon and that all will be well.

 

[HannaBelle]

LOL

Zombie alert! This is over 10 years old but maybe BabyTigger99 will give us an update....hehehe.

 

[Kitty 34]

I always think its sad that somebody's marital or whatever problems resurface a good ten years later.

 

[emer95]

I read the whole thing, not realizing it was a zombie thread until the Oprah show reference, lol.
I hope things worked out OK for the OP.

 

[Gorechick]

From what I can tell, OP was last on the DIS in November 2015 and was posting about Shades of Green. Perhaps they are still together since he was in the military.

 

[Hrhpd]

I read the whole thing, not realizing it was a zombie thread until the Oprah show reference, lol.
I hope things worked out OK for the OP.

It seems to have worked out. As of a few months ago (Nov) she was still posting and was asking about pre-boarding with her husband who is retired military.

 

[Allison]

LOL

Zombie alert! This is over 10 years old but maybe BabyTigger99 will give us an update....hehehe.

What is funny about the situation?

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I have no idea why this thread was bumped.