I find it very insulting that there are some who think we are lying just to get out of paying for our son's college education. As I have stated, we have spent a ton of money on attorneys fees over the last 14 years. And the ex won't pay a dime to help. He's not remarried, no other kids and makes over $6,000 a month.
If it works for your family to pay, great. But don't look down your noses and judge me, because we are doing it different. And, yes, I have seen MANY kids throw away Mommy and Daddy's money just because they could.
This will be my son's INVESTMENT - not a debt. It is HIS life. We don't expect him to pay us his salary once he finds a job after graduation. Why in the world would we pay for his schooling?
I don't see anything on this thread that insinuates anything concerning your honesty.
I said that when I was in school the financial aid office accused ME of lying. They said that no one could possibly live on what I was earning and that my parents had to be giving me money.
I said that if the FAFSA folks allowed parents to say they just don't want to pay, lots of people will lie and do just what the financial aid office accused me of doing -- taking money from their parents and pretending to be financially independent students.
But no one's said you're lying. Not even close.
You are dead-wrong on one thing: If your son borrows for his education, it may be an investment in his future, but it will ALSO be a debt. If he has to repay it, it's a debt. You and he may deem it a worthwhile debt or an unavoidable debt, but it is still a debt. That's a simple fact.
Finally, I don't see that borrowing increases student responsibility. It's very easy for an 18-year old to promise to pay back money sometime in the distant future. To many of them, with their minimal knowledge of finances, the amounts they promise to pay seem vague. I am firmly convinced that if your main goal is to increase responsibility in your student, the student needs to be working for that money TODAY.
Kids are unique and there are many factors that determine whether they will be successful.
This is the bottom line! Not only are kids unique, they're multi-fauceted. Anytime someone says, "If you just ____, your kid will turn out fine", that's untruthful. Success is dependant upon many, many factors -- some of which are even out of our control.
The pay-for-college-and-they-won't-appreciate-it concept is something of an urban myth. Sure, it's true for some students, but to make a blanket statement about it applying to every student . . . well, that's an exaggeration. Some students will be successful, others won't. Some of those successful students will be paying it on their own, others will be on their parents' dime.
Case in point, I had to pay every last dime of my education. As a result, I worked more hours than were healthy and wise, and it caused friction between me and my parents. Yes, I appreciated the opportunities I had, but I also felt that they
should've helped me. They didn't have the money to give me -- I understood that -- but they actually threw road blocks in my path. For example, they wouldn't do my FAFSA forms in a timely manner, which meant I received less money than I could've. In contrast, my roomate had parents who were very supportive of her education and paid every penny. She had a small job just for spending money. She was enormously grateful for what they'd given her and took her education very seriously. She had better grades than I did.
This last quote is where someone said people will lie about their willingness to pay.
Some people will lie about their willingness to pay. That was a general comment on society and the shortcomings of the FAFSA process. Why would you think that was about you personally?