Kids headed to College Fall 2012 Check-in

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by zurgswife, Apr 1, 2012.

  1. mvazul

    mvazul DIS Veteran

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    I guess we see what we want to see - myself included. I had moved on. Others keep bringing it up, asking questions. I answered. Most definitely NOT being a bully. As I have stated, we will have to agree to disagree. I am okay with that. I am moving on. Promise. ;)

    My son is now 6'6"!! :eek: i have no idea how or when that happened. I am 5'1". My ex is 5'9". I always tell my husband it is his influence - he is 6'4". ;) My son is in track and cross country. I love watching him run. I am not looking forward to him leaving and yet, at the same time, SO ready for him to be on his own. I'm excited to see what he will do with his life.
     
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  3. MrsPete

    MrsPete DIS Veteran

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    I didn't find your comment offensive. I wouldn't have been able to say WHO brought up the topic. I was discussing ideas, not setting out to insult people.
    Snow, and I'm thrilled for her.
    True. At my girl's school, though MOST rooms have extra-long twins, a few have regular twins. Some rooms come with micro-fridge combos, while others do not. Since dorms are old and some dorms are new, I think these discrepancies are common.
     
  4. JBurke

    JBurke <font color=green>WL VET

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    I wish I could pay for all my DD's college, but it is just not in the cards for us.
    This is my first child going off to college, so I was new to whole FAFSA thing. I dont even remember it when I went to college 20+ years ago (but I lived at home with my mom and went to school so it wasnt too expensive)

    Both my DH and I work and its not that hard to make over $80,000 a year when you both work at decent jobs. It seems that any income over that gets you nothing from FAFSA. I dont think that if we make $80K we should be compared to some making $200K or $300K. It doesnt take into account I have two other kids, that for a few years my husband was out of work, that we didnt always make our current salaries. It is just frustrating. I wish I could have been saving more but I was too busy trying to stay on top of the bills for a lot of those lean years.

    When my DD was starting looking at schools, I wasnt limiting where she was looking. Once I got the 411 on FAFSA, I told her it would not be wise to look at anything too expensive or too far away because I would never be able to get her home for holidays. We kind of set a 3 hour away limit. Once of her initial choices was Purdue because both my parents went there but, with a $45,000 a year price tag, that was out of the question.

    So she picked Illinois State. She is going to take the $5500 Federal loans freshman year and we will pay for the rest with installment payments. Its going to be tight but I will do my best. In four years she will be about $25,000 in debt and I dont think it is unreasonable. Both my DH and I had student loans, so she can join the club ;)

    As for shopping, I havent started yet but she has a list a mile long. Waiting on seeing who her roommate/s will be and hopefully we can share the costs of some big ticket items.

    Wasnt she just watching Thumbelina and twirlling around the living room in her tutu?? :confused:
     
  5. MrsPete

    MrsPete DIS Veteran

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    I agree -- and I said already -- that I think the FAFSA has some big problems, though I don't have any ideas on how to improve the situation. I think most people have situations similar to yours: That is, the FAFSA doesn't take into account very real issues that make it hard for you to pay. However, some people are the opposite: I'm thinking of a pair of twins who were in my class a few years ago. I forget the details, but the upshot was that because their parents were divorced and their mother was poor, they were going to get loads of financial aid -- in addition to their wealthy father being very willing to fund their entire education, though his income wasn't going on the forms. They ALSO both earned full-ride scholarships (they were #1 and #2 in the class). Just to make life even more unfair, they both looked like models and were accomplished musicians and athletes. These girls really had it all . . . and FAFSA too! They should be out of school by now. Wonder how they're doing.

    Like you, we set some limits on what we could afford to pay, and we recommended that our kids stay within those limits. Our goal was to help her get a college education, not a dream experience. Our oldest agreed that graduating debt-free was a great goal, and she had no problem finding a school that she loves within our budget.
     
  6. piglet too

    piglet too <font color=blue>I will take a Mudslide please<br>

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    My son applied only to his #1 pick, and was accepted. We have already paid the various deposits, and he even registered for his classes last week.

    He is getting a generous merit scholarship, as well as some grants from the school. We will have to do the federal loans along with Sallie Mae (or something similar) to pay for the rest. He is planning to join ROTC, but will not be eligible for a scholarship until second semester. While that will help considerably, he is not in one of the "choice" majors, so it will not cover it all and there will be some loans needed for all four years. He made the choice to do ROTC, since he does not want to graduate with a mountain of debt. This way, not only is he guaranteed a job for his first 5 years out of college, he will also only have a minimal amount of loans. Our plan is to help him pay them while he is in school, and then once he graduates he can take over the remainder.

    As for shopping, we have the recommended list from the school. We have not bought anything yet, but are looking around at prices for fridges and TVs. Sheets, we will need the XL, so looking for when stores put them on sale.
     
  7. KAMLEM

    KAMLEM DIS Veteran<br><font color=blue>Likes her little p

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    I don't see why they shouldn't. Why should one parent be able to get out of contributing just because they are divorced? They are still the child's parent.
     
  8. JBurke

    JBurke <font color=green>WL VET

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    Does anyone know of a good discussion board, similar to DIS, for college.
    Since this is my first child going off to college, I would love to find a board where I could talk with other parents on what to expect, financial aid, handling her leaving, etc..

    I found a couple, but they were all about bragging. I dont need to brag or want to hear all about everyone's perfect child with the perfect SAT score and all AP classes. Barf. :rotfl:
     
  9. goofy4tink

    goofy4tink No tags...not needed! Transportation moderator Moderator

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    With the cost of college nowadays, there are few families that can pay for 100% of their kids college education. It's nearly impossible to save that much money in today's economy....even the economy of 15 years ago, when some of us should have been saving something. But, like many others, we were just trying to keep our heads above water.
    So, my child should get to go to a college that costs $45,000, and she only gets a small scholarship (since she didn't study as hard as she could have), and she doesn't have to pay towards it? Nope, I have to disagree. My dd will take out loans to pay for school. And then, as I said, as time goes by, we will take over a large part of those loans. But at this point in time, that just isn't possible. We will pay what we can now...and pay what we can later on, down the road. But even then, dd will have some debt. And I truly don't think that's a bad thing.
     
  10. goofy4tink

    goofy4tink No tags...not needed! Transportation moderator Moderator

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    And that's been the problem with sites I've heard about. It's a big ole brag session. And my kids are way to normal...middle of the road. I don't want to hear about little Susie's issue with not getting into Harvard...just Yale and Princeton!!!
     
  11. mvazul

    mvazul DIS Veteran

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    I would be interested in that, too. Our son is in the Gifted class, has had mostly honors and AP courses and did well on his SAT's, but that's the only information I give. As we always tell him, he may be good, but there will always be better.

    I did belong to a Facebook page for parents of new Purdue students. I didn't stay long. There was too much bickering about parents insisting ALL parents should be 100% responsible for their kids' tuitions - no matter what. and then there were those who were really rubbing it in that their kid got awesome scholarships when most of our kids got nothing. I guess maybe that is why I'm so touchy about the subject. I certainly don't mean to be. I left that group, because I couldn't stand it.

    So, a different group would be nice. And i apologize to everyone here who I may have offended. It was certainly not my intention.

    :thumbsup2
     
  12. ctinct

    ctinct DIS Veteran

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    In a perfect world, this would be true. Unfortunately, I and many others in my situation do not live in that world. The law in the state I live in says that the non-custodial parent's obligation ends at eighteen, and my ex will not contribute a thing for college. At least we knew that going into the college admission process and were able to make informed college choices (ie, applying to FAFSA only schools.)

    You can't force someone to do the right thing.

    I wonder---do some states require non-custodial parents to contribute to college?
     
  13. ctinct

    ctinct DIS Veteran

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    mvazul, I think you are reading WAY too much into responses here. Someone asked a question; I answered it. Mrs. Pete commented on my reply. We were not remotely even thinking of you or your situation. The entire financial aid process can be a bit goofy and unfair, depending on many factors. In fact, I am in the same situation as you are with an ex that will not help one bit. Unfair? Yes. Fact of life for my daughter and me, though, so we learned to work with it and searched out schools with great aid and where she had a very good chance at merit. She is now very happily into her first year at a wonderful school. I can only hope that every student will end up as happy as she is. Good luck to your family and son.

    I do want to add, though, that it worries me when I see families that say their children will have to take out loans to cover the cost of school. (Not you in particular; I am talking in generalities here). I think many families that have not been through the process fail to realize that for most schools, a student CANNOT borrow enough money. Federal loans are limited, and there are really no other loans that a student can get solely in his or her name.
     
  14. Chelley00

    Chelley00 DIS Veteran

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    DS19 actually graduated last year but deferred his enrollment and scholarships for one year so he could work and save money for his portion of his room/board so he wouldn't have to work during school. It's been a good experience for him because now he knows he wants a desk job ;) We will help as much as we can. We have four kids total and paying for four colleges tuitions just isn't feasible, however we do have small college savings accounts for them. Plus, I paid for my education myself so I'm okay with making them earn their college degree.

    He was accepted of Indiana University, the only school he applied to. He's paid all his deposits so we are in wait mode.
     
  15. Robinrs

    Robinrs DIS Veteran

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    Including THIS board, until some of the perps left the DIS.:rolleyes1

    I have tried several boards, most are big time braggadocio. Most of the threads here turn ugly,too, I don't get why this subject is so controversial? :confused3

    I read them a lot but stay out of them now. There were several threads that went to heck in a handbasket QUICKLY. :surfweb:
     
  16. Green Tea

    Green Tea <font color=green>I don't do hatchets<br><font col

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    I agree! I am happy that we are able to do this for our kids.

    And I also agree to buy stuff once you get to where the college is located. Bed, Bath & Beyond is great.....starting in the early summer you can start placing your orders and put in a delivery date once you college starts accepting packages. We had stuff arriving in the campus post office from about the 10th of August. Also the Wal Mart site to store was helpful. We could take some time picking out what was needed then just pick it up once we arrived. The BBB is especially good if your kids want a special pattern bedspread or color of sheets (cough cough your girls because I have learned boys don't care a bit what their comforter looks like) You can choose when supplies are plentiful and not have to transport them.
     
  17. Green Tea

    Green Tea <font color=green>I don't do hatchets<br><font col

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    College Confidential has boards for most all colleges. Unless you're on the Harvard board no one will be talking about Harvard. I don't go to that board. I have regular ole kids ;)
     
  18. Robinrs

    Robinrs DIS Veteran

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    Yes, that is GIRL WORLD! My son could care less.

    Target is College Central around here. Our neighborhood Target is not far from Emory University and it is hysterical watching the little scared looking freshmen with thier overbearing grandparents and parents navigate their way thru the aisles!! :lmao: I have to remind myself NOT to go there on those days.

    It seemed like it was a million years in the future for me. Now it's AUGUST. I'm still pinching myself. I remember walking him into kindergarten about 2 months ago...:guilty:
     
  19. BrerMom

    BrerMom <p><img src=http://www.wdwinfo.com/images/smilies/

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    What a great idea! That also guarantees that it would actually be in stock when you wanted to purchase it.

    OK, here's my tip since this is our 2nd to fly the nest: If your student is living in the dorm and will be returning to the dorms, don't drag everything home and back again. Rent a storage locker by the month for the summer. DD's roommate was leaving her "local only" car in a storage locker and DD helped with the cost, which allowed her to leave the majority of her belongings there. It worked out beautifully.
     
  20. DVCLiz

    DVCLiz <font color=00cc00>That's me - proud defender of t

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    I understand that in your circumstance having your daughter assume some of the debt is reasonable. But, that is entirely different from what you stated earlier and what I was responding to, which was:

    "My dh and I consider it our responsibility to help our dd with her college costs. Not 100% but some. I firmly believe that every college graduate should finish school with some debt!"

    My point was, if parents can comfortably foot the entire bill, why did you feel that a student should still go into debt? That is what I thought you were indicating, and what I was questioning. So, if I pay my daughter's expenses she should still get a loan? I don't understand why anyone would advocate that. Going into debt if you don't have to seems wrong to me.
     
  21. Boston Tea Party

    Boston Tea Party Truth is truth

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    Good advice! Thankfully we already know which dorm she will be in. They have a fridge/microwave. We will be looking at all of the whatnots that she will need.

    Y'all should check out DearBeemo on You Tube. You won't believe what that kid can cram in a dorm room!
     

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