This is the worst week of my life

[VagueFury]

Can I please be the voice of reason here and tell you not to go? Sure you want to go and the kids want to go, and that is understandable, but you are stressed and miserable. This won't be a good vacation and you'll spend every penny, which you may need in the near future considering the situation. And I'll bet your kids are also stressed. Everyone will enjoy this a lot more a month or even a year from now when all of this is behind you. Worry about making yourself safe and secure for now.

 

[mrsklamc]

Can I please be the voice of reason here and tell you not to go? Sure you want to go and the kids want to go, and that is understandable, but you are stressed and miserable. This won't be a good vacation and you'll spend every penny, which you may need in the near future considering the situation. And I'll bet your kids are also stressed. Everyone will enjoy this a lot more a month or even a year from now when all of this is behind you. Worry about making yourself safe and secure for now.

Did you read the thread? She can't reschedule, she'll be out the money she's been paying for TWO YEARS.

 

[MrsPete]

Did you read the thread? She can't reschedule, she'll be out the money she's been paying for TWO YEARS.

Yes, she said that.
Yes, it is a vacation that is beyond her means, but she knows that.
Her mind is made up on whether to go.

 

[mrsklamc]

Yes, she said that.
Yes, it is a vacation that is beyond her means, but she knows that.
Her mind is made up on whether to go.

I was responding to that specific poster who said she should reschedule in a month or a year. There is no way she can do that.

 

[kymom99]

She is not living beyond her means. The trip is paid for and she has money set aside for food. The abuser did not live with her. She is not dependent on him. There is no reason she shouldn't show her children that this man did not get the best of her. I think once she is out of town she will feel such relief. She would still be miserable at home and would be out all the money she already spent. It is all paid for. Not going would be worse, IMO.

 

[fabulousfive]

She is not living beyond her means. The trip is paid for and she has money set aside for food. The abuser did not live with her. She is not dependent on him. There is no reason she shouldn't show her children that this man did not get the best of her. I think once she is out of town she will feel such relief. She would still be miserable at home and would be out all the money she already spent. It is all paid for. Not going would be worse, IMO.

I totally agree. Thank you for posting. Stand strong with your kids & have a fab time! Also, I think there will be peace knowing you are totally away & safe. Have fun! Post all about your trip!

 

[crisi]

She is not living beyond her means. The trip is paid for and she has money set aside for food. The abuser did not live with her. She is not dependent on him. There is no reason she shouldn't show her children that this man did not get the best of her. I think once she is out of town she will feel such relief. She would still be miserable at home and would be out all the money she already spent. It is all paid for. Not going would be worse, IMO.

From a budget board standpoint, the only issue that is implied is that her emergency fund was not large enough for the unseen expenses involved in having your boyfriend beat you and getting yourself safe. I think that is falling under "budgetary misdemeanors" and I wouldn't sweat it. To pay for the trip in full, the only thing that is required is she skips some planned table service, skips souvenirs and avoids up charges on the cruise - big whoop - that's what the trips of 80% of the people here are like....but you can't win around here, if you post that you've saved up enough money to take a trip and keep your emergency fund untouched - even though the washer broke last week you were able to replace that money into your emergency fund without touching your trip funds, you are accused of stealth bragging.

 

[BlueIvy]

I am very sorry to hear of the ordeal you have been through. I completely understand that you do not want to disappoint your children and have planned for this trip for so long. BUT, I am going to suggest that you reschedule the trip for so many reasons....first off your physical and emotional health. You need to recover from the bruising. I am not sure how walking miles in the park is going to feel in the condition you are in. I know bruises can hurt for days after. Second, your heart is just not in it now as much as you want it to be, please ask yourself if you will be thinking of what just happened or if you can truly focus on enjoying time spent with your children with things so unresolved back home.

I understand the love of Disney as much as many people on this board, I moved to California partly because I love Disneyland so much. I have also went on a vacation to Disney when I was dealing some painful situations in my life (not the same as what you are going through, but painful, nonetheless) and I honestly think I would have been better postponing my trip. Forgive me if I have missed whether you can reschedule or not...

I did not recall reading anything about your financial situation at this time, other than you could not afford the hotel so you came back home. I am not asking you to divulge this information, but were you getting help from him to pay the rent/bills, if spending the money on the trip is wise at this time.

Just wanting you to consider all of the aspects of going on a trip at this time. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best...don't ever let him back into your life, it becomes a pattern and if you think it was bad this time, next time it could be worse. You and your children deserve better, remember that.

I can't postpone the trip two days out. Ill lose all of my money. He was just my boyfriend and a rather selfish one at that. He didn't help me out financially in any way. I'm going on this trip. I started packing and yes I'm getting a little of my excitement back. He took enough from me. I'm not going to let him take my kids vacation as well. I got a call from safe horizon and the woman I spoke to advised me to go on vacation. She was adamant that I go and we enjoy ourselves. She said we need this more than ever..go and have no regrets so that is what I'm doing .

 

[VagueFury]

Fine, she can be depressed on "vacation" and be out MORE money. Sorry I have an opinion that doesn't conforms to yours.

 

[twinsouvenirs]

From a budget board standpoint, the only issue that is implied is that her emergency fund was not large enough for the unseen expenses involved in having your boyfriend beat you and getting yourself safe. I think that is falling under "budgetary misdemeanors" and I wouldn't sweat it. To pay for the trip in full, the only thing that is required is she skips some planned table service, skips souvenirs and avoids up charges on the cruise - big whoop - that's what the trips of 80% of the people here are like....but you can't win around here, if you post that you've saved up enough money to take a trip and keep your emergency fund untouched - even though the washer broke last week you were able to replace that money into your emergency fund without touching your trip funds, you are accused of stealth bragging.

This post cracks me up and is so true

I totally agree it can be done and easily. The kids aren't going to be obsessed with their meals like we grownups are--they are simply a delay in the entertainment (unless they include entertainment). Many hotels have some grocery items in their sundries areas... and you can order groceries from Wegoshop or other services. Ideal if you have a kitchenette with a fridge and microwave. Don't underestimate cheerios & bananas for breakfast! We had no bugetary constraints on our trip and that's what I had every morning anyway. Even if you don't have a fridge you can make an early morning excursion out of getting milk from a shop and eating your cheerios picnic style or by the pool. String cheese is the GREATEST snack--think of snacks the kids want in their lunches (fruit rollups, etc) and maybe order some of those to be delivered. You can have amazon deliver to your hotel for the day of your checkin and they have grocery items available.

We are a family of four and ate just a few meals in the parks on our trip--we ate in the room while relaxing in the A/C a lot. Easy Mac is a delicious inexpensive treat.

Ways to save... #1. Eat your own food/groceries (keep in mind this can be on a fun park bench or a grassy knoll... or your blissfully airconditioned room). #2 Skip drinks and bring snacks.

Look into grocery delivery after you find out if you have a fridge. Your kids won't be as concerned with food as you are with feeding them when they see the parks. Love the pressed penny idea. Or surf the Creative DISigns section for a do-it yourself autograph book for the Characters they love. Many of the parks have free kid make it take it activities/adventures too (like the 'kidcot' stops.

 

[gginaaxo0]

Oh my god! I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. I don't even know you and that brought tears to my eyes. You have to be strong and show your kids your the independent mom I'm sure you are. My mom was a single mom for a couple of years, and it shaped me into the most independent person today. What I would suggest is packing snacks with you in your bag to help budget. My fiancé and me stayed in Disney for six nights last year and we spent about $600-700 together. I definitely think you'll be able to manage it. We're adults and some days we would split quick service meals because we weren't so hungry. You have to go on this trip. Don't let anything get in the way of something you look forward to with your children. Be strong and have an amazing time with your kids.

 

[mrsklamc]

Fine, she can be depressed on "vacation" and be out MORE money. Sorry I have an opinion that doesn't conforms to yours.

Again, if you read before you post, she's already gaining some of her excitement back, and she would be "out" more money by postponing it than by going. The vast majority of the trip is sunk costs, and we have no clue what her budget is like other than for this vacation.

 

[mumto3girls]

From a budget board standpoint, the only issue that is implied is that her emergency fund was not large enough for the unseen expenses involved in having your boyfriend beat you and getting yourself safe. I think that is falling under "budgetary misdemeanors" and I wouldn't sweat it. To pay for the trip in full, the only thing that is required is she skips some planned table service, skips souvenirs and avoids up charges on the cruise - big whoop - that's what the trips of 80% of the people here are like....but you can't win around here, if you post that you've saved up enough money to take a trip and keep your emergency fund untouched - even though the washer broke last week you were able to replace that money into your emergency fund without touching your trip funds, you are accused of stealth bragging.

Budgetary misdemeanor lol. FWIW I agree that the OP should go and have a great time. The trip is paid for and she can't get it back and its not like the money she has saved for her out of pocket/meals was enough to make a big difference in her situation at home--she still has to eat there. She has plenty of money for food and incidentals as long as she doesn't go crazy with souvenirs and expensive meals. She can show her children what it means to be resilient and deal with the rest of the mess when she gets back after she has healed and had a chance to get away from it all for a bit.

Best of luck to you OP. Stay safe and enjoy your trip with your kids.

 

[NHTikiBeckie]

Fine, she can be depressed on "vacation" and be out MORE money. Sorry I have an opinion that doesn't conforms to yours.

She is out the money whether she goes are not...opinions are fine but it doesn't seem like you have read her other posts.

 

[mom2my3kids]

@HUGS@.....GOOOOOO and yes 400 is enough to feed you and your two children..You can also bring lots of snacks and drinks, plus if you are eating counter service you can purchase all kids meals..saves you a bit of money...

 

[Zim]

I agree this is a good teaching moment for the kids as far as what an outsider (re: crazy ex-boyfriend) can and can't do to the strength of your family unit. Don't focus on the infidelity or the violence, just be grateful his true colors showed up before he got you to the altar. And, perhaps, if your mother wasn't supportive in the least, find out why and see if there aren't dysfunctional patterns going on here that predicate you to dating schmucks. My aunt spent too much time with losers and too little time seeing some bad patterns, now her kids are in their 20s and really messed up. Focus on yourself and your kids for a while, and start with a nice, cleansing vacation.

I would also suggest, especially if he was supposed to go with you on this trip, that you maybe plan to stay at your aunt's house or somewhere else the night before you leave, lest you wake to find your tires slashed. He might be vindictive of the fact that the Law is after him and may want to make your life miserable trying to get out and enjoy your vacation. Especially since it sounds like you're leaving on a Saturday which gives him a Friday night to get drunk and get crazy ideas. Hopefully his mom is keeping him under control.

 

[DVCJones]

First, I am so sorry this is happened to you!!! I hope he is caught quickly and you see some justice for what he did to you.

Second, I also think you should go. Not going is not going to save you that much money. You still need to eat at home. Right? In fact, you would lose thousands of dollars if you don't go.

Third, please take the necessary steps to insure your safety. I assume he knows about your trip and may be waiting for you when you get back. He will have all that time to stew on the fact that you are pressing charges and may want revenge. It has been my experience that abusers think THEY are the victim and act out when they no longer have control of their victims.

Please be safe and come back and let us know all about your trip. Enjoy!!!

 

[eliza61]

From a budget board standpoint, the only issue that is implied is that her emergency fund was not large enough for the unseen expenses involved in having your boyfriend beat you and getting yourself safe. I think that is falling under "budgetary misdemeanors" and I wouldn't sweat it. To pay for the trip in full, the only thing that is required is she skips some planned table service, skips souvenirs and avoids up charges on the cruise - big whoop - that's what the trips of 80% of the people here are like....but you can't win around here, if you post that you've saved up enough money to take a trip and keep your emergency fund untouched - even though the washer broke last week you were able to replace that money into your emergency fund without touching your trip funds, you are accused of stealth bragging.

We need a "bowing down" smilie. Thank you Crisi.

How in the world did people get so rigid?

hey I found it!!

 

[angierae]

She said the $400 was all she had left out of her trip fund, not all the money she has, period. She has spent a lot of money on this trip, and she should go. Her at-home problems will still be there when she gets back, and she can't get any of the already-spent money back anyway.

 

[crisi]

Frankly, after a cruise, I'm so sick of eating a big sit down meal in a dining room that I could probably do fine on Dole Whips, granola bars I brought along, and two fast food meals split three ways for a week.