LuvinLucifer
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2012
What about fertile gay women who want to adopt. Should they be allowed?
I'm not sure why they should be treated any differently than straight women. It's practically as easy for them to get pregnant.
What about fertile gay women who want to adopt. Should they be allowed?
. I don't really understand why you WOULD want to when there are so many children out there who need loving homes. Love makes a family, not biology. For me, it has nothing to do with changes to my body
LuvinLucifer said:Because there aren't many babies who need loving homes. There are older children with special challenges. I wouldn't feel safe bringing a troubled teenager into my home, and I don't have the resources to raise a child with severe FAS. Little Orphan Annie isn't a good reflection of adopting from the state today.
I have been in a position to know a little about adoption and adoption-issues.
IMHO, any woman who would make the statement about 'ruining their body' would/should not be considered an appropriate adoptive parent.
Period...
End of story...
It is NOT about whether this woman is able to carry a child.
There is no 'discrimination' card to be played here.
IMHO, it is all about whether this woman is considered fit to be a parent to an adopted child.
Being a parent, under any circumstances, can be the hardest thing one ever faces in life. Adopting an innocent young child, means putting something besides one's shallow, narcissistic, desires FIRST. And this would be point-one when an agency decides whether a woman/couple meet the requirements necessary to be appropriate adoptive parents.
Art 1 said:What about fertile gay women who want to adopt. Should they be allowed?
This is one of thereasons why I personally do not wish to be pregnant. My mom had terrible pregnancies and lost a baby. Ive learned about and seen too many terrible things go wrong in pregnancy. Just because of those things does not mean i would make a bad mother or wouldn't be willing to make sacrifices for my (potential) child.
I also don't want to go through a pregnancy, partially for what it will do to my body. I would like to be a mother someday, I would just prefer to adopt. That doesn't mean I would be a bad mother, just that I don't want to be pregnant.
Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean there aren't people who do feel that way. I have never had an intense desire to have children that are biologically mine. I don't really understand why you WOULD want to when there are so many children out there who need loving homes. Love makes a family, not biology. For me, it has nothing to do with changes to my body
If you truly feel that way, you probably would not enjoy motherhood either. It too, takes a *toll* on the wear and tare of your body Maybe when a few years have passed, when you truly want a baby bad enough, what pregnancy will do to your body (or perceived to do) will be the least of your thoughts and will not matter at all. I never once thought like you do, but trust me, when I wanted a baby, I didn't care what it took Being pregnant with dh & my babies was the greatest thrill we could ever have had. Why wouldn't someone want a baby to look like them, and truly be a part of each one
My mother lost more than one baby, had two very hard pregnancies (one was twins) and nearly died twice. It didn't stop me or my sisters from having children. There is not too many *desires* stronger IMO than when a woman wants to have a baby! When (if) you reach that point, then you will not think of *what could happen* but will just want to get pregnant with your baby (this is saying that their is nothing medically wrong, of course). This opinion comes with lots of experiences. There will always be exceptions.
Can't understand vanity/sacrifice of pregnancy discomfort, whatever, having a stronger pull than wanting to have your own baby, if you truly want one, but you say you feel that way, so guess there is.
Now that is the strangest excuse I have ever heard for not wanting your own biological child (the exception being a medical issue in you/family that would contradict it). There are lots of people (because of fertility issues/health) that their *only* option to have a child is to adopt (my dau. one). There is a *long* waiting list, so where do you see all these healthy infants to adopt? If you are willing/can/desire an older child, or one with issues/special needs, etc. maybe that is true. They come with other *stresses* than pregnancy to deal with.
Gumbo4x4 said:I think she needs to go to the back of the line. BTW, anyone concerned about pregnancy wrecking her body seems to be pretty delusional about the sacrifices required of parenting.
I don't think that is fair at all...
Life isn't fair.
The title of the thread is 'Fertile people adopting?' To that I would say of course. Why not? I really don't think the reason why a person chooses not to get pregnant should be relevant. And being infertile does not automatically make someone more deserving or guarantee that they will make a good parent.
IMO each case needs to be looked at individually.
My neighbors are lesbians they have 4 kids they didn't need to adopt. Sperm is for sale.
Regardless of her reasoning, it's ridiculous that an adoption agency won't help her because they don't think she's worthy because she is fertile.
Would it be better if she said she didn't want to increase the population but wanted to parent a child in need of a family?