My college dd has decided to drop out and go to culinary school!

[akcire]

My mom is a chef. There are a lot of chefs with no business skills.


I would try and get her to stay at undergrad and get a business degree playing sports for the free tuition. I would encourage her to keep cooking on her own.

After college she can attend culinary school, think of it like grad school. She will be in a better position to run a successful business as opposed to be a kitchen slave for $12 an hour for the next 15 years.

You need to get her to try and focus on the long term. If she changes her mind after a few summers working in kitchens she can always find another grad program.

 

[JaneBanks]

I just have to say that I think it is pretty insulting to your daughter ( and to others who chose the culinary route) to be called the "underachieving" daughter, comparing her to the older "overachieving" daughter.

 

[IheartMickey]

Sorry you had to put up with that. I would be very upset! If my DD wanted out for those reasons, I would gladly foot the bill. Though, I imagine you were dropping for other reasons...? I could see letting her pay for it to learn a lesson under some circumstances.

I don't think anyone should be "punished" for realizing they are on the wrong path and pursuing another. I'd be glad she's figuring it out early!

Actually I did drop out for those reasons. I was home instructed for 10th-12th grade (3 years) because of a disability with my leg. When I graduated I had no idea how wild most 18 year olds were, my group of friends weren't like that. It was a huge culture shock and I lacked coping skills I would have learned had I gone to high school for those years. I was planning on going back to a different college in the spring but in December my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. I stayed home to help take care of her and she passed at home with us in June.

I went to a new college with my best friend for the summer semester, completed that and then dropped out again that fall semester. I had received a settlement because my disability was from an accident and I paid tuition up front in cash. I lost about $3,000 and have never gone back. It worked out for me in the end though.

 

[luvthemouse71]

This is why I think most kids should start at CC. Very few people go with their original plan out of high school- you do have some that know from a young age what they want to do but they are the exception.

And I agree that there is a little bit of snobbery present in this thread.

 

[Elmo9607]

Good for her...I changed my path after my first associates degree and instead of going to a four year, I got my culinary arts degree.

It takes a VERY special kind of person to work in a kitchen and even if you make it through school, most kids won't make it in the industry. That is a fact. It takes an EXTREME amount of dedication, a lot of very hard work. There are long days for months and months on end, with very limited time off. It's very hard to maintain relationships and you don't see your family.

That said, it is a job that is ALWAYS in demand. There are so many sub-fields she could go in...like catering, hospitality, nutrition, education, ect. Just because she has a culinary degree doesn't mean she will slave her life away in a kitchen. For example, I'm currently pursuing an opportunity to do hospitality with sports car racing teams.

And yes, I graduated from a school that currently has one of the BEST culinary programs in the COUNTRY. The cost of my degree? About $15,000.

I did the College Program at Disney, I got to work with some of the best chefs in the country, I have made awesome connections, and I can do so many things with my degree I had a hard time choosing what I wanted to do with it. Trust me, if it's a culinary school with going to, it will take her ONE semester to figure out if this is really what she wants to do.

 

[Ceila]

I dropped out of college several times. When I dropped out I ended up getting a job as a receptionist for a customs brokerage. Six years later I was an import FDA manager. Two years in I was making more money then all my friends with college degrees. College is not the end all be all for setting up your future. Sure, it looks nice on a resume but it doesn't mean everything.

I lost about $3,000 and have never gone back. It worked out for me in the end though.

I'm sorry, but aren't you the one who has posted threads about living with your mom and running out of money for food?

 

[beaucoup]

I wish my parents would have allowed me to follow my heart & not focused so much on what they wanted me to do & finish what I started. I finished the 4 years, pushing myself towards the end just to do to classes. Never looked for a job in that field when I graduated because I knew by then and after some internships it was NOT what I wanted to be anymore. I did pay for my own 4 years of college though. Just wish they would have allowed me to pick what I wanted to do since I was the one paying for it.

Can't expect kids to decide at 15-18 what they want to be. Heck, I'm 48 & still am not sure sometimes.

Let them decide. It is their life. If she wants to try culinary, be glad she found something that she likes and wants to do.

 

[phorsenuf]

I just have to say that I think it is pretty insulting to your daughter ( and to others who chose the culinary route) to be called the "underachieving" daughter, comparing her to the older "overachieving" daughter.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that caught that.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that caught that.

Caught that too.

Not everyone is cut out to follow the same path. Maybe Culinary School is what she really wants out of life? The time to figure those things out is while she is young. I've seen a few of my peers (now in their 40's) regret the career paths they have chosen. I'm sure they knew what they really wanted to do 20 years ago, but didn't pursue it.

 

[SanFranciscan]

But, would people be saying the same thing if she suddenly wanted to become a doctor.......demanding field, on your feet all day, being on call all hours of the day/night/and weekends too (not to mention huge debt, little sleep for X number of years, stress, etc. etc. etc.)

Maybe some would but I'm betting the majority would not. I can't help but feel the bias stems from the notion that culinary school is not impressive enough. Some, too many perhaps, would just be embarrassed to have to admit to their friends/family/coworkers that Junior dropped out of college to become a (*gasp*) 'cook'. Especially when cousin Sue's kid is getting his law degree at Harvard.

IDK... I just think it's too bad that so many are more interested in status than happiness (and this is not directed at you OceanAnnie...just a general observation)

Sadly pay is based more on job status than economic contribution. "Hospitality" is listed as a leading and usually THE leading industry in this nation. I have seen the same sorts of statistics at the international level too. Most workers are going to work in the largest industries no matter how many have degrees.

I don't have college-age children so I am in no position to truly advise the OP. My gut instinct is that it is essential to make sure that the student understands that the demand in the culinary field is for cooks and not for celebrity chefs who have more in common with spokesmodels and who know more about how to charm the camera than they do about cooking or managing a kitchen. There will always be a lot of jobs in the hospitality industry; but those accepting these jobs are overwhelming there to cook and to clean. If the student has stars in her eyes for applause in glamourous settings, well, Houston, we have a problem.

 

[IheartMickey]

I'm sorry, but aren't you the one who has posted threads about living with your mom and running out of money for food?

I got the money when I turned 18, it just ran out a few months ago. I did a lot with it though, but not invest it which was a bad idea.

 

[IheartMickey]

Oh and while my mom and I do share an apartment, I do not live off of her. We both contribute.

 

[SaraJayne]

There are other jobs in the culinary field besides just working in a kitchen. Catering and private chef opportunities are the first two that come to mind. The money can be quite good and the benefit of having greater control of one's life (as opposed to when you are at your boss' beck and call all day, and sometimes nights and weekends too, and you're not allowed to make a decision without asking permission first) is, IMO, a big bonus. Just food for thought.

There are also lots of opportunities in the food industry (Research and Development, etc).

Yes, she will have to work in the restaurant business for a while to gain experience, but it is another very lucrative option for a culinary degree.

 

[Fire14]

My BFF received her Culinary Associates from a CC, she had heck of time finding a job after graduation, I don't know if it was because she had heart set on certain areas or what but it couldn't be from lack of places. She finally found/accepted a job as a cook/server in a retirement community. She just in last 6 mos after working there for 15+ years got a management job. She has been doing cooking/ordering for awhile now and I guess for various reasons was offered promations.

 

[mickeysgal]

I don't care what occupation or degrees my children end up with. As any parent of course we want them happy in what they chose BUT up to a point. I'm sure I'm not alone in that as parents we want them to be able to move on (and out of the house) and enjoy a sustainable career. And by sustainable I mean on their own two feet in a job with benefits/health insurance that they can live independently. I have to agree with a prior poster - I believe most kids think they know what it takes to live truly on their own but very little realize the full extent of that. So the question to ask of any child pursuing whatever degree, certification, or job right out of the paper....will this type of job lead you to that sustainable lifestyle? In the end, I just don't want my kids 35 years old with a degree (and possibly loans) sleeping on my couch or living in my basement, etc. That, in the end, isn't going to make them - or us - happy. I don't plan on having to support my kids because they chose a degree that essentially isn't supporting. Best to help them evaluate now rather than later.

Many parents stop at the "I just want them to be happy" part. Are they going to be happy if the job/career they pick lands them square on your couch because it's not in demand and they can't find anything or doesn't pay well enough for them to stand on their own two feet? Maybe they will be happy, maybe they won't but next thing you know, there's a thread on the DIS from a parent about the deadbeat kid living with parents for upteen years and what should they do?

It's OK - parents - to ask the tough question - is this truly a sustainable career choice? It's not knocking the child, or harming their self esteem, or being snobbish - it's a question - a valid question. And when they choose the career within the school, ask the school for their placement rates and the average starting salaries for these jobs. They should have these statistics to share. That's the proof in the pudding right there.

 

[disney314]

As quickly as she changed her mind this time, she could change it again.

I think I would tell her she should honor her contract for the scholarship, go for spring semester and take some of the general ed requirements that can go towards whatever major she may finally decide to follow. Also tell her during the semester she and research and consider her options for next year and over the summer come up with a new plan and find a new school.

Young people made decisions much too quickly. We are experiencing the freshman year in college thing too. And my DD started in one major, then she started saying she wanted to change her major. I heard maybe 3 different ones. She finally picked one and is starting tomorrow in the new major. But each month she had something different in mind. At least the classes she is taking this semester will go for several different majors.

I don't think they really know exactly what they want at this age (I know I didn't). But to give up a scholarship and drop out of school completely is a bit extreme at this point. And no reason to, since she can't start culinary school until the Fall, so she could use this time to accumulate some credit hours and give her future some more thought.

Good Luck.

 

[pacrosby]

Sadly pay is based more on job status than economic contribution. "Hospitality" is listed as a leading and usually THE leading industry in this nation. I have seen the same sorts of statistics at the international level too. Most workers are going to work in the largest industries no matter how many have degrees.

I don't have college-age children so I am in no position to truly advise the OP. My gut instinct is that it is essential to make sure that the student understands that the demand in the culinary field is for cooks and not for celebrity chefs who have more in common with spokesmodels and who know more about how to charm the camera than they do about cooking or managing a kitchen. There will always be a lot of jobs in the hospitality industry; but those accepting these jobs are overwhelming there to cook and to clean. If the student has stars in her eyes for applause in glamourous settings, well, Houston, we have a problem.

Sometimes you have to think outside of the box. I do know people who have started catering business in their own homes and live quite a comfortable life; others who have chef experience businesses; and am aware of more than one successful business where they have cooking classes/parties. People have a tendency to narrow their focus too much i.e. chef = restuarant. It's too bad. The opportunities out there are endless. Be flexible. Be creative. Don't be afraid to create your own life.

 

[Ceila]

I got the money when I turned 18, it just ran out a few months ago. I did a lot with it though, but not invest it which was a bad idea.

Huh? You just posted upthread that you were able to get a job that paid more than anything your friends were making.

 

[IheartMickey]

Huh? You just posted upthread that you were able to get a job that paid more than anything your friends were making.

I did before I got hurt at work and started having health problems and had to stop working. I worked for six years making very good money.

 

[disykat]

As quickly as she changed her mind this time, she could change it again.

I think I would tell her she should honor her contract for the scholarship, go for spring semester and take some of the general ed requirements that can go towards whatever major she may finally decide to follow. Also tell her during the semester she and research and consider her options for next year and over the summer come up with a new plan and find a new school.

Young people made decisions much too quickly. We are experiencing the freshman year in college thing too. And my DD started in one major, then she started saying she wanted to change her major. I heard maybe 3 different ones. She finally picked one and is starting tomorrow in the new major. But each month she had something different in mind. At least the classes she is taking this semester will go for several different majors.

I don't think they really know exactly what they want at this age (I know I didn't). But to give up a scholarship and drop out of school completely is a bit extreme at this point. And no reason to, since she can't start culinary school until the Fall, so she could use this time to accumulate some credit hours and give her future some more thought.

Good Luck.

Great advice!