My college dd has decided to drop out and go to culinary school!

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by curlyjbs, Jan 6, 2013.

  1. pacrosby

    pacrosby DIS Veteran

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    But, would people be saying the same thing if she suddenly wanted to become a doctor.......demanding field, on your feet all day, being on call all hours of the day/night/and weekends too (not to mention huge debt, little sleep for X number of years, stress, etc. etc. etc.)

    Maybe some would but I'm betting the majority would not. I can't help but feel the bias stems from the notion that culinary school is not impressive enough. Some, too many perhaps, would just be embarrassed to have to admit to their friends/family/coworkers that Junior dropped out of college to become a (*gasp*) 'cook'. Especially when cousin Sue's kid is getting his law degree at Harvard.

    IDK... I just think it's too bad that so many are more interested in status than happiness (and this is not directed at you OceanAnnie...just a general observation)
     
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  3. OceanAnnie

    OceanAnnie <font color=maroon>I guess I have a thing against

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    I believe lifestyle of a career choice should factor into any discussion of a major with a student. It is a huge issue to address. Some people love flexibility, a stressful environment, etc.. Some do not. I have seen people very unhappy with their choice because they did not consider lifestyle strongly enough.

    A cardiac surgeon has a skill set that is in demand, with high pay. While the hours are not great, the surgeon does have a say as to when to schedule the surgery theater. Lifestyle is still a factor, but it is not the same scenario. For some people, the high pay would off-set the lifestyle of the career.

    I have also read news about culinary arts schools that rip off the students with high tuition and either no job prospects or no way to pay off the loans (as the pay is not great). It isn't a bias, it's based on news reports.

    I think as a responsible parent, one should prepare his/her student for possible outcomes, have conversations, and help guide. Ultimately it is up to the student as it should be. I did recommend interviewing and shadowing a chef. That is the same recommendation I would have for any field.
     
  4. pacrosby

    pacrosby DIS Veteran

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    :) I was actually editing my post as you were replying.....in an attempt to further clarify. I just knew someone would want to point out that a cardiac surgeon has a say in scheduling and makes beaucoup bucks lol I was just trying to illustrate a point. (although I must add that many cardiac surgeons do not have complete control of their schedules....I have a friend whose husband is one and her family's life, because of his work, is no picnic. All that money? It isn't everything ;)).

    Anyway...I don't necessarily disagree with much of what you say, but it doesn't really negate the point that I was trying to get across. As I said, I wasn't directing my post to you...just using some of your words as a jumping off point.
     
  5. clm10308

    clm10308 DIS Veteran

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    I just want to add that forcing a student to continue in a school and/or program that they don't want to be in, even for one semester can backfire. If he or she does not want to be there it is highly likely that they will not be successful in those classes and end up costing you more money in the long run with having to repeat failed classes. (Speaking from experience)
     
  6. OceanAnnie

    OceanAnnie <font color=maroon>I guess I have a thing against

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    I edited my post too.

    To me it's about a choice based on information, a good fit, and potential opportunity.
     
  7. NHdisneylover

    NHdisneylover DIS Veteran

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    I agree that the first thing to look at is what are her obligations as far as the scholarship. She might well have to pay it all back f she refuses to play n the spring.

    Personally, think I would encourage my child to finish out the school year as planned and during that time take the time to research culinary schools and the career, etc--rather than make a snap decision.
    Generally, unless they were truly, horribly miserable at school, think would want them to stick it out one year anywhere, just to make sure general homesickness and finding their niche at school are not the real reasons for their desire to leave--that could lead to a pattern of hopping from one place to the next every few months and never really settling in.

    (I say that having switched schools after one semester :lmao: however had very specific reasons why I was disappointed in the education offered at the first school, switched to another n state school and kept more or less the same plan I had had--just with more rigorous classes).
     
  8. maxaroni

    maxaroni DIS Veteran

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    Not the same scenario, but a PP said that her DD was a HS Sr. and not sure if she should stay home and do CC or send her off to college, which DD wants.
    My DS wanted to go away to school and the pressure of HS with pushing for college and the most prestigious ones to boot was hard on DS. However, he did choose to go away, picked his college and off he went. He was a freshman last year. After the first semester, he hated it..hated the school and many other personal issues. However, he didn't want to disappoint us and tried to stick it out the 2nd semester. We knew nothing of what was going on. Finally, at spring break he had a breakdown of sorts and said he couldn't go back. So now, we are mid semester, lost the money for that semester and he came home. The state he was in, we didn't feel safe sending him back. He worked full time from spring until August and now about to begin his 2nd semester at our CC. He is much happier. He is still in his major and will transfer once he completes his associates. It hurt us more that he was so unhappy and didn't tell us. We backed him 100% and we know that in the whole scheme of things, this was a blip and all will be good. We want a happy, healthy young man. He now admits he should have started at CC to begin with. It's a life lesson.
     
  9. mickeysgal

    mickeysgal <font color=blue>Orange you glad I like Knock Knoc

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    I also wouldn't just give then the easy out either. If they entered into a scholarship agreement, they have the obligation to fulfill the agreement. The financial ramifications of breaking that agreement can be huge especially if this is a school that was only affordable via that scholarship. Life is full of tough choices and tough decisions and if the child wants to transfer then by all means transfer but after the agreement is fulfilled. They chose the agreement, accepted the terms of the agreement, then live by the agreement. If it was a multi-year scholarship, I would find out what the options and obligations are before agreeing to just not return next semester. And if it comes to pass that they need to stay until the end of the school year to fulfill the requirement of that scholarship and they still don't want to stay, it would be the child's financial bill, not mine.
     
  10. ShesAPirate

    ShesAPirate DIS Veteran

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    Is she aware of the cost of culinary school? A good school (French Culinary Institute, Le Cordon Bleu) can cost 20-45 grand a year. And as many have already said, chefs in restaurants generally don't make much. My cousin, despite his culinary education and skill, continues to bar tend instead of cook, because he makes much more money behind the bar than he does in the kitchen. Sad, but true.

    On the flip side, I would encourage her to follow her dreams, but be prepared for reality -- and let her know that sometimes you have to stick things out in the real world. If she has grants and scholarships for this year, she should finish out the year and then figure out what's she's going to do next.

    Best of luck, OP!
     
  11. minkydog

    minkydog DIS Cast Member

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    Hah. I could have written your post. My DD19 went off to college in 2011 with a Grand Plan to major in theater. Had a small scholarship and everything. What she found was a cut throat environment, nothing like the fun theater groups she was in during high school. DD realized that she did not have the competitive drive to make it in theater. But more than that, she began to recognize that what she really loves is cooking. She finished out the year at the 4yr univ and transferred to our local community college, now majoring in culinary. She is happy and driven in this field, which makes me happy for her.

    DD has done her research. She understands that working in food services requires long hours, shift work, holidays, and hard work. I'm an RN. She has seen me work under those same conditions. So its not limited to the culinary fields.

    I'm proud of my DD. She really examined herself and made a good decision which I think she will not regret. I hope the OP will feel the.same way about her child.

    ETA: the CC where DD goes costs less than $10,000 to complete the Associates degree course. Le Cordon Bleu costs over$100,000 for the same degree. This CC is well respected on our area. DD will probably graduate with limited student loan debt
     
  12. tvguy

    tvguy Question anything the facts don't support.

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    Does such a thing exist?
     
  13. debster812

    debster812 <font color=blue>DIS Earth Angel!<br><font color=0

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  14. Becky2005

    Becky2005 <font color=darkorchid>I actually thought they mad

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    It might -- you usually have to do a TON of digging to find schools that are off the beaten path so to speak. That is how we originally found the school DD was going to go -- no one has heard of it. It is not your typical school although you can get a Bachelor's degree -- it is more a liberal arts school, so I wouldn't send anyone there that say wanted to be an accountant -- although they DO have those type of classes there. They don't have 4 year degrees for everything but do pretty much have 2 year for everything -- so it is basically a Community College/4-year hybrid type. It is really hard to explain but we only found it after some diggigng due to frustration on our parts of trying to find a school that had more hands-on learning but wasn't a conservatory type of school either!

    That way, if DD did change what she wanted her major to be, she still had the math, science, english courses, etc....
     
  15. Art 1

    Art 1 DIS Veteran

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    ...and spend the rest of their lives broke. At that age most have no idea what it takes to buy and maintain a home, raise kids, put them in good schools, activities, dress them well, buy them cars, put braces on their teeth and so forth. There aren't many Ingrid Hoffman's out there. My Son will be graduating college next semester and has a very good job lined up with Apple already. He thanked his mother over Christmas break for pushing him hard and in the right direction and for saving the money to put him through school.
     
  16. Becky2005

    Becky2005 <font color=darkorchid>I actually thought they mad

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    :thumbsup2 That's the one my DD's friend is going to for Culinary Arts. We stayed at the hotel in Providence that is basically run by the students that are in the hospitality program. I hear it is a really good school.
     
  17. tvguy

    tvguy Question anything the facts don't support.

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    Well, I have worked with a couple of folks who chucked it all and went to culinary school. One opened a catering business, the other went the private chef route. Both made it about 7 years before getting out. Biggest issue they had they had NO control over their life. One night you are catering a formal dinner for 150 at 630 pm and working until midnight, and the next day you are catering breakfast for 100, starting work at 3 am (3 hours after your last job) for 7 am service. And I guess being at a variety of clients beck and call can be a lot worse than having one boss. Some people have impossible expectations, or like to make huge changes at the last minute and expect not to pay extra for it. And the pay, well, if you're going to be competitive price wise, you aren't going to earn much. My friend in catering said Panda Express and Boston Market really killed his business with their catering........even though their food isn't as fresh and as good, folks just look at the fact the price is 30% less than the lowest he can offer.
     
  18. hallie

    hallie Mouseketeer

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    :thumbsup2
     
  19. 4luv2cdisney

    4luv2cdisney DIS Veteran

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    And that's great if it is what your son is happy with. I hope he likes the job once he's actually working there.

    Not everyone is cut out for an office job. Money does not guarantee happiness. It certainly is nice if you can manage both! I hope my children can earn enough money to not struggle and to live happily! To me that is success.

    OP, you should be focusing on helping her choose a career path that she will be happy with. If it is culinary school, so be it. She should definately do her research, though! And I agree that she should tough out the year if it means you will have to pay back money you cannot afford to pay back. Perhaps having an "end in sight" will help her get through the next few months.
     
  20. IheartMickey

    IheartMickey I have not been blessed by the tag fairy!

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    I actually think making her payback something will teach her a lesson. When I dropped out the first time it was 4 weeks into the semester. I was forming and my roommates were horrible, and they were all doing drugs and drinking in a dry dorm. I initially owed $8600 to the school, but I wrote a letter to the Dean about what was taking place in my dorm and they reduced it to $2400. I paid $100/month for two years to pay off those 4 weeks at school. It sure taught me a lesson.
     
  21. 4luv2cdisney

    4luv2cdisney DIS Veteran

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    Sorry you had to put up with that. I would be very upset! If my DD wanted out for those reasons, I would gladly foot the bill. Though, I imagine you were dropping for other reasons...? I could see letting her pay for it to learn a lesson under some circumstances.

    I don't think anyone should be "punished" for realizing they are on the wrong path and pursuing another. I'd be glad she's figuring it out early!
     

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