My college dd has decided to drop out and go to culinary school!

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by curlyjbs, Jan 6, 2013.

  1. curlyjbs

    curlyjbs <font color=cc0066>1 Tequila...2 Tequila...3 Tequi

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    My head is spinning. This kid was given a great opportunity through sports to attend a great university. Was it her first choice? No. Never heard of this school before. Did she even want to play in college? No....not until she was recruited - then it was the greatest school ever and she HAD to go there blah blah blah. She was accepted to 3 other schools as well (non sports related). Well 1st semester is over - Grades where ok & she made a lot of new friends......she's been home about 3 weeks and last night she tells us she doesnt want to play in the spring - she's just not excited about the season. OK fine. Finish the year but you'll have to find another school for the fall because we cant afford this school without the grants/scholarships you were given. She blows us away with. No, I want to take the next semester off and go to culinary school in the fall. :eek: I am speechless. I don't want her taking the semester off - I'm afraid she will never go back! And culinary school???? (No offense to culinary people) I don't know. I just don't know. But I didnt sleep all night and I feel sooooo sad. :sad2:
     
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  3. clm10308

    clm10308 DIS Veteran

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    What about a compromise of a college that has a culinary program with a degree program?
     
  4. Riles_and_Gabe

    Riles_and_Gabe DIS Veteran

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    I think it would depend on your daughter. Is she someone that gets really excited about things and then loses interest shortly after? Has she previously expressed interest in cooking/baking? I think she can have a wonderful career in the culinary world, however I don't think it will be easy so she should definitely have a passion for it.
     
  5. Art 1

    Art 1 DIS Veteran

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    That's too bad. If one of my 2 in college did that we would be very disappointed.
     
  6. java

    java <font color=darkorchid>I am embracing the Turkey B

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    Ah freshmen......I have one. He threw out maybe I'll transfer stuff when he first came home and is now excited to be going back( they are on their way right now) oh and his was art school.

    I was shocked at how many kids dropped out already, with transfers coming in the fall.

    It sounds like she has a plan. Did she ever show an interest in the culinary industry before? She made a commitment to the school she is at to play so I would worry if she drops out she wold have to repay whatever $ they gave her last semester. She should try to at least ride the year out.

    Good luck. It's scary.
     
  7. Erin1700

    Erin1700 <font color=purple>At least I am bragging about us

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    I would make her stick out the year and fulfill her sports commitment. They are counting on her. Then reevaluate in the summer.
     
  8. Boston Tea Party

    Boston Tea Party Truth is truth

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    Got a freshman here also. She went from a pre-med program to public health to I want to transfer to another school. :confused3

    Hang in there, everyone.
     
  9. WDWBarb

    WDWBarb I need a vacation.

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    I have a freshman DD and I know how I would feel about this news. I have several friends who followed this same path and, unfortunately, it didn't work out for them. They have pretty decent sized student loans and aren't working in the culinary industry. They say it's extremely competitive, the hours are brutal and the pay is low. Head chef opportunities are rare (where the pay is better) but you still work a lot.

    On the other hand, if this is her passion, I do believe we are meant to pursue what we love. With enough hard work and dedication, she can be successful AND happy. You never know what the future may hold.

    It always works out the way it was meant to, so don't worry (too much). :)
     
  10. Boston Tea Party

    Boston Tea Party Truth is truth

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    You think it might get it out of her system if she works in a restaurant?
     
  11. curlyjbs

    curlyjbs <font color=cc0066>1 Tequila...2 Tequila...3 Tequi

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    Thanks everyone. It doesnt sound so end of the world when I read these posts. She's so different then her older sister who finished 4 years in 2.5 and is going to law school in the fall! Overachiever vs underachiever LOL!
    Idk if "cooking" is her passion. Tbh, she did talk culinary school BEFORE the college offer so maybe this is what she wants to do? The problem is shes very "leap before you look". I'll talk with her more today.
     
  12. curlyjbs

    curlyjbs <font color=cc0066>1 Tequila...2 Tequila...3 Tequi

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    She's been working part time at a pizza place for 2 years now...I suggested getting a waitstaff job at a local restaurant to test the waters..I know its not the same as being in the kitchen - Being a chef of any kind seems like long hours, holidays, work work work. but maybe she can make a more informed decision?
     
  13. OceanAnnie

    OceanAnnie <font color=maroon>I guess I have a thing against

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    I was going to point out lifestyle and pay. It is a demanding field, on your feet all day, working evenings, weekends, holidays, shifts. There is a lot to consider.

    What was your daughter's major before the switch? Was it in the same area or completely different? I'd ask her what led her to changing her plans and what type of future she envisions. I would encourage her to interview and shadow a few different chefs for a day. Find out what it is really like before making a commitment.

    Lastly, there are other majors that are close but not as brutal and offer better pay. If she is set on the food industry, I would perhaps guide her towards being a nutritionist, more opportunities better pay.

    Good luck! I know that was a shock.
     
  14. eliza61

    eliza61 http://www.wdwinfo.com/dis-sponsor/images

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    First, as everyone else said recognize that they are freshmens. The word itself equals change.

    My son swore for 4 years in h.s. he wanted to be a graphic arts designer. Applies to a bunch of great schools. Chooses U of Cincinnati for it's school of DAAP which is one of the top programs in the nation. gets into the program and 2 minutes after the orientation says he hates it and wants to change. His advisor tried to talk him out of it because it's pretty competitive toget into but noooooo. :headache:


    Next and in the interest of full disclosure, I'm at a crossroads in my life so I may not be the best person.

    I got a promotion at work and I absolutely hate it!! I keep trying to tell myself that I can retire in 5 years at this salary and I can stick out any thing for 5 years but man, I hate this new position. Our kids have it so hard these days, it's like they really don't have the opportunity to grow and develop what their interest are. cost of school for most folks makes that impossible.

    NOw I don't know why she picked culinary school but maybe she really has discovered this is where her passion is. but all I know is that, working at a job you hate stinks and I can't imagine having to do it day in and day out for 40 years.

    So all of you that would be disappointed is that disappointment because you think they can't support themselves if they follow their interest? I read all these articles about the top 10 majors to have and I think, "what do we do with the kids who aren't cut out to be computer science majors or accountants"?
     
  15. The Mystery Machine

    The Mystery Machine Sunrise at my house. :+)

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    I understand, really lets the wind out of your sails. My dd is now living at home finishing up.

    First off, has she ever worked in a large kitchen? I have and let me tell you it is demanding, fast paced, not for the faint of heart. You get a lot of criticism because things move lightening fast to correct issues, because it is food.

    Second, there is a lot of info out there on how "culinary schools" are a "rip off" because the jobs that are out there when school is done DO NOT pay enough to cover the loans.

    If my dd said that I would tell her that she needs to work in a restaurant/food service first.

    Can she get a job in the dorm kitchens?
     
  16. Becky2005

    Becky2005 <font color=darkorchid>I actually thought they mad

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    Freshman year is crazy at college! I think our high school just made everything worse and once the pressure was off from that things changed around.

    I know our HS did -- DD had a heck of a time just graduating because it was all college, college, college and it pushed her over the edge. Somewhere along the way someone (whether it be friends and/or advisors) pretty much told her to NEVER transfer -- whatever school she picked she was required to go to for all 4 years, so that put a lot of pressure on to pick the perfect school. I tried to tell her that was not the case & she even had older friends that have been at 2 or 3 colleges now.

    Finally I pulled the plug for her since she was mopey and didn't want to go to the school she got accepted in. She LOVED the program but didn't like the school setting. I told her at that point -- now that you are out of high school you have time to re-evaluate and let's figure things out. Plus in our case, if she withdrew before the classes started we got most of our deposits back. She took a couple of on-line classes at our community college since by the time we got everything figured out they had already started classes. This semester she is going to be taking classes there but it also gave her a chance to figure out what she REALLY wants to do.

    In our case, my DD is interested in theatre and that really is not the easiest one to find a good program in. Last semester was just insane and I know she still keeps in touch with a couple of friends she met at the new student orientation for the 4-year she was going to and there is one that really only went to this college because his sister did but after hearing what he wants to do -- it probably isn't the best fit.

    Although, just like anything it is really hard to know if things are good or not until you are actually THERE. One school we re-visited after the dust settled that we were "eh, it's OK" on -- we really like now after our 2nd visit and having more time to consider the possibilities (plus the advisor on that visit gave her more ideas on what she could do -- so now she is even considering doing a double major).

    DD is also now considering the Disney College Program which by doing community college is a bit easier to work the schedule around.

    Of course, in your case, it also depends on if culinary is something that came completely out of the blue or if she has always had a semi-interest. It is hard though, even at my age I still sometimes don't know what I want to do when I grow up & I know at 18-19 things change -- there are fields that didn't even exist when I was that age that are now options.

    Could you look into your community college and see if they have a culinary program to get her feet wet in it without it costing a ton? I know we have some local ones. Although my DD actually knows someone who goes to a culinary/hospitality school in RI -- we stayed at the hotel that is basically run by the students, which then made us find out if that is the one he goes to since we knew he was on the East Coast. However, this student had taken all the culinary classes at our high school & I knew he always talked about wanting to go into that field.

    Good Luck with however things work. It is tough no matter which way things turn out.
     
  17. mickeysgal

    mickeysgal <font color=blue>Orange you glad I like Knock Knoc

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    Kids in college may, at some point in time, do an about face with their career choice or college choice. It's tough and rare to know what they EXACTLY want to do coming out of high school. You have to roll with it until they figure it out.

    First things first though. What are the terms of that scholarship? Is it a full year obligation? What is the ramification if she does not return for the spring? Would you have to pay it back, all, some, or none? If this is financially something you couldn't pay back, I'd say, fine, switch to culinary or whatever AFTER the scholarship obligation has been fulfilled.

    Regarding culinary...be careful on the schools you choose and check their placement rates. Some seem a bit lightweight and not credible, imho.
     
  18. pacrosby

    pacrosby DIS Veteran

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    I think that's too bad - that you would be disappointed that your child wanted to do what they wanted instead of what you wanted.

    Honestly, if the OP's child really wants to go to culinary school I think the OP should give her nothing but support. Too many kids make choices based on what mommy and daddy and their friends and their guidance counselors and the "experts" suggest...... and then spend the rest of their lives working in fields that they don't really even enjoy. It's "their" life. Never forget that.
     
  19. StacyMarie

    StacyMarie DIS Veteran

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    My daughter is graduating high school this spring and going off to college! I'm terrified of this exact scenario, so much so that I basically tell her once a week "you know, you don't have to go away to college. You can spend your first year here at home and go to the local community college." She is insisting that she wants to leave. I have noticed a change in my daughter this year in high school. She is stressed out to the MAX. She went from seeing her counselor once every 6 weeks to seeing her every 2 weeks.

    She's already been accepted to 4 different colleges with great offers, her grades are excellent for her final year and she's not taking a bunch of easy classes, but something in her head has changed. I can only hope that I'm not making a mistake by letting her go and I hope she's not making a mistake by insisting that I let her go. If this is a sign to come of her first year in college, I think we are in trouble, lol. Is there any kind of support group for parents of college freshmen ;)
     
  20. pacrosby

    pacrosby DIS Veteran

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    There are other jobs in the culinary field besides just working in a kitchen. Catering and private chef opportunities are the first two that come to mind. The money can be quite good and the benefit of having greater control of one's life (as opposed to when you are at your boss' beck and call all day, and sometimes nights and weekends too, and you're not allowed to make a decision without asking permission first) is, IMO, a big bonus. Just food for thought.

    ETA: and fwiw I actually have a Masters degree so I'm not anti-college..... I'm just definately not pro-college for the sake of college. It's not about getting a piece of paper, it's about getting an education.....and what kind of education is best (and the best way to go about getting it) depends on what you want to do. Personally, I think this 'just get the degree and figure it out later' mentality is backwards. And unnecessarily expensive. My kids will be doing things much differently than 98% of their classmates, I'm sure. And I'll be proud of them for that.
     
  21. IheartMickey

    IheartMickey I have not been blessed by the tag fairy!

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    I dropped out of college several times. When I dropped out I ended up getting a job as a receptionist for a customs brokerage. Six years later I was an import FDA manager. Two years in I was making more money then all my friends with college degrees. College is not the end all be all for setting up your future. Sure, it looks nice on a resume but it doesn't mean everything.
     

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