My college dd has decided to drop out and go to culinary school!

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by curlyjbs, Jan 6, 2013.

  1. MrsPete

    MrsPete DIS Veteran

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    This is one of the reasons I encourage my students to look at medium-to-large schools. Changing majors is MUCH easier than changing schools, and larger schools offer more majors.
     
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  3. declansdad

    declansdad DIS Dad #639 New Brunswick, Canada

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    University/college is not for everyone.
     
  4. curlyjbs

    curlyjbs <font color=cc0066>1 Tequila...2 Tequila...3 Tequi

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    As the OP I just wanted to say thanks for all the advise/criticism - good and bad. DD is calling the school in the am to see if they will refund her spring tuition - If not she will finish out the year and I guess we'll have to wait and see what she decides to do. Either way we support her 100%.
     
  5. tcufrog

    tcufrog DIS Veteran

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    I'm surprised that no one has suggested that she visit the career services office at her current school to learn about the prospects she'd have with a culinary degree. My suggestion is she also consider a hospitality services degree. A lot of them include cooking opportunities along with business classes that would make her more marketable. If that isn't an option I would encourage her to study business or entrepreneurship in addition to culinary studies. In my area strong Spanish speaking skills are a real plus if you wish to work in restaurants and/or hotels. I would have her research what language skills are in demand in restaurants and hotels where she wishes to work. Having that knowledge will really boost her likelihood of getting hired in a very competitive field.

    I worked in community colleges as a librarian for many years. It's amazing how many students ended up there after flaming out at 4 year schools. It's better for her to decide early on (depending on the scholarship issue) than to decide it much later on in her college career.
     
  6. carrie1626

    carrie1626 DIS Veteran

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    I truly wish all of you the best. I'm a mom of 2 college kids and I know what I want for them, but what they want for themselves is another thing. I do congratulate both myself and my husband for letting them find their own way and not being insistant on career choices and such.
    The best advice is to keep the lines of communication open, listen and offer different perspectives.
     
  7. horseshowmom

    horseshowmom DIS Veteran

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    You're the second person I've heard about in the last couple of weeks who got promotions and really dislike the job. They liked what they were doing before but didn't like the promotion after they had been at it for awhile. One of them already went back to their old job, and the other one is seriously considering it. Sometimes the stress and aggravation isn't worth it (particularly when the job involves supervising other workers like both of the two I mentioned did).
     
  8. Mickey'snewestfan

    Mickey'snewestfan DIS Veteran

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    On the other hand, many small schools allow students to switch freely between majors, while larger universities are often subdivided into different schools and students must apply to transfer between schools or majors.
     
  9. Dancind

    Dancind Tinkerbell's Mom

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    My nephew chose culinary school, and his parents paid for him to go to Le Cordon Blue. He did very well, he has a talent for it. But for the last four years, he's been bouncing around the country from job to job. The restaurant owners always make him great promises about money but don't seem to come through. He never has a problem finding a job, but there seems to be no incentive for the owners to keep their promises since there is a steady stream of graduates coming out of the culinary schools.

    Sort of a buyer's market, seems like slave labor almost. The hours are unreal, as a young 20s guy he has almost no social life. I think the only way to succeed as a chef is to own your own restaurant. The culinary school tuition might have paid for that! As it is, looks like nephew might be going into Dad's sporting goods business.
     
  10. Boston Tea Party

    Boston Tea Party Truth is truth

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    Would she be able to satisfy the culinary desire by cooking for friends and family? To me, there are things that are passions of mine that I would not want to work in. To state the obvious - Disney. I am often asked if I would like to work there and the answer is NO. I want to enjoy it on my terms. To be employed there would ruin it for me. Of course, this is JMHO.

    I wonder what about culinary school attracts her?
     
  11. tuckerkeys

    tuckerkeys official cookie taster

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    OP you are a good parent for supporting your DD!

    I went to a college for 1 semester - realized it was not for me, too far from home & I came home with the sort of support of my parents.....

    I did not have a plan like your daughter does, but it all worked out fine for me.

    I went to my county college for the 2nd half of my fresh. year, then transfered to a local college where I graduated from w/ an english-eduation degree.

    I worked while attending school and it made me the person I am today. I lived in an apt and commuted to school ( I wanted to be on my own )

    I always think about what would have happened to me if I took a semester or year off. I think that I was so young that I did not have the discipline to have that much free time on my hands & may not have continued with college. Although I know I would have worked ( I was a nanny ) I think having all that freedom with no school would have been the death of education for me....

    It sounds like your daughter has put a plan of action to work! Maybe if she takes the semester off, she could get a job in a restaurant? As kitchen help, or whatever, just so she can see the real life workings of a kitchen....As a nanny, that was the start for me wanting to get my degree in education.

    Good Luck!!
     
  12. SC Minnie

    SC Minnie <font color=purple>Are we there yet???<br><font co

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    DD wanted to go to culinary school mainly because of Food Network. DH and I could see she really didn't have a passion for culinary arts. Getting her to cook at home was always a battle. :rolleyes: I read an article about a year or so ago which said many students that graduate with a culinary degree end up with tremendous student loans and jobs making $10/hour to start. With the ecomony tanking many restaurants were not making it.

    DD and I had a heart to heart talk about what she wanted to do. We also had some friends who had worked as restaurant managers talk to her about the reality. When our friend went to work for a food distributor 4 years ago it was the first Mother's Day she had been able to spend with her children. Every Christmas was spent working as well. There is a lot of long hours and late nights.

    I asked DD to look into another degree such as Hospitality/Tourism Management or Marketing or something- something to fall back on. She could still go to Culinary school once she got a degree. She is now majoring in Hospitality/Tourism and loves it.

    OP-- I suggest you ask your daughter why the sudden change. Also have to talk to some people in the industry. It's not like Food Network. It's hard work and not everyone gets the dream job.
     
  13. pacrosby

    pacrosby DIS Veteran

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    :thumbsup2

    That said I can understand how it might be hard for many of those parents who make the decision to provide full financial support for their college aged student (and often at some of the most expensive institutions). Is it really any surprise that some of them feel like they should have a say? I mean, hey, it's 'their' money right? How dare they waste their money! Talk about potential for a conflict of interest.
     
  14. dizcrazee

    dizcrazee DIS Veteran

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    I have heard this too. I would definitely try to steer my daughter in another direction if she wanted to go to "culinary school". Also, having worked in an "upscale" restaurant when I was in college, I agree that restaurant work, no matter what type of restaurant or what position, is very demanding and exhausting - it's not a good long-term career in my opinion. Most people ultimately wind up working in another field. The pay is not very good either.
     
  15. curlyjbs

    curlyjbs <font color=cc0066>1 Tequila...2 Tequila...3 Tequi

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    Out of all the posts I find this one the most offensive. How dare you assume what I want/think! I do not want my child to live my life and i don't want to live hers. Mine was hard enough! I want only the best for her! I want her to follow HER dreams and I will support her 100%.
     
  16. curlyjbs

    curlyjbs <font color=cc0066>1 Tequila...2 Tequila...3 Tequi

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    I am a firm believer that if a parent CAN they should do all they can to help their child financially with school. At least the 1st 4 years - if after that they want to continue their education it should be at their cost. As always we help with books, parking, all the extras.
     
  17. GoofyPrincess

    GoofyPrincess Mouseketeer

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    I don't post often, but since I went through pretty much what your daughter is talking about, I thought I would share my experiences. I want to mention that I am 42 years old, so my experiences are dated, but from what I have seen, the restaurant world hasn't changed much in the last 25 years. ;)

    I was a college graduate who had trouble finding a job in my field (advertising), so I worked a couple of full time jobs while I looked for a "career job" at the same time. One of these jobs was in a gourmet restaurant.

    While I was there, I fell in love with the restaurant business and was fortunate enough to be taken under the wing of the executive chef there who taught me to cook. Under his advisement, I applied at and was accepted into the Culinary Institute of America (CIA) in New York. :thumbsup2

    I completed the first half of the 2 year program and was at the top of my class, but left after finding out that I would have to take on $24k in student loans to complete it. It just wasn't worth it to me - no one in the restaurant world (at least no one that I knew) cared if you had a paper - they just wanted to see you cook. The school was great - I just wasn't willing to spend that kind of money on a 2 year cooking degree.

    In the restaurant world, we worked 6 days a week - 12-16 hour days - during season and often couldn't get enough hours to make rent off-season. You work nights, weekends and holidays. All of them. The culture is full of drugs and drinking - after all, what is open at midnight (which is when you get out of work) except bars?

    It is a job - not a career. You burn out and your body cannot continue to work those hours forever. You make no money and the environment is awful - the only reason to do it is because you really love to cook. That being said, it was a wonderful time in my life and I am glad I did it. I love to cook and it was something I was truly good at. But even with my passion and ability, it was a short-term thing.

    I now have a wonderful desk job that pays me twice what I would have *ever* made in the food industry and I have benefits and paid time off. All of this came from my 4 year Advertising degree - not the 2 year culinary degree I would have gotten in school.

    From my experience, I can only recommend that she finish college before trying culinary school. CIA now has a 4 year program that awards a bachelor's degree, but potential employers of Fortune 500 companies usually don't want to see Culinary Arts as your major. Your daughter will want to have as many opportunities as she can in her future. I hope she doesn't choose to limit them by tying herself to a 2/4 year food degree.

    I agree that your daughter should follow her passions and be happy, but I think she really needs to look at and experience the realities of the job and not just how it is portrayed by people outside of the business. Please let me know if I can answer any questions for you or help in any way.
     
  18. Arielle22

    Arielle22 <font color=red>We have had spirits<br><font color

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    DD19 is home on break from her freshman year. If I was in OP's shoes, I would encourage her to complete the freshman year and use available time to research culinary school.

    I have two nieces who went to Johnson and Wales in Providence,RI. One graduated with an associate's degree in hospitality. She had a job at a local hotel and was promoted to a training position which would have sent her over the country.

    My other niece graduated with a culinary bachelor's degree. Unfortunately despite graduating near the top of her class she is unable to find a position in a larger restaurant. She curently manages a small pub/bar. Not at all what she imagined for herself.

    Having a degree is not a sure shot to success. However there are fields which have more of a guarantee than others. Another niece is a geologist as is her significant other. He is justing finishing his masters and they have been applying for positions which will start in the 6 figures (for each). Apparently that degree is in very high demand and most people with their masters have no problem getting a high salary. Of course, they have to move from MA. Hot spots for jobs are Texas, Ohio, Colorado or Scotland.
     
  19. horseshowmom

    horseshowmom DIS Veteran

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    I didn't get that from any of your posts. I don't think it's at all unreasonable to be concerned about your child entering a major that may not provide her a living. It's obvious that you're primary concern is your daughter and her future.

    One of the things we told our daughter throughout high school was that college was to equip you to earn a living and that whatever she decided upon, she needed to be sure it was something that would pay in the end. She met quite a few people while in college who were a little arrogant about their majors being their passion rather than being driven by money. That's all fine and good, but you still need to be able to earn a living at the end. Some of the ones she's kept up with are tremendously underemployed, and some are unemployed.

    I have a niece who got a B.A. in Business. We encouraged her to go ahead and get her M.B.A because that's really needed in the business world (there are lots of B.A./Business graduates). She was tired of school so now she works as a secretary in a very small insurance office and makes very little with no benefits. If she hadn't lived at home until she recently married, she couldn't have gotten by on her salary (her dad paid her car insurance and kept her on his health insurance). She's been out of school 3 years. She could have been hired just as easily for this job with no college (hired by a friend of the family) and saved her dad a great deal of money.

    I don't think that college is for everybody. There are lots of jobs that don't require it. There are some that require vocational training and result in lucrative positions. Many options for choices, but I don't see spending a lot of money supporting a job that is unlikely to result in a student becoming reasonably self-supporting. Get a viable degree and then pursue the cooking (honestly, it doesn't sound like she's shown much of a passion for cooking up until now). JMHO

    ETA: Has your daughter ever taken a career interest inventory? I've found them to be remarkably accurate. You might look into that. :)
     
  20. pacrosby

    pacrosby DIS Veteran

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    I am a firm believer in letting other parents make their own decisions. But I also have opinions and we are on a message board discussing opinions. I believe that all decisions have consequences. Many unintended. Putting 200K up for your kid's college education would make it hard for many to remain unbiased. That's just the way it is.

    In our case, we could afford to pay for our kids' educations but we won't be because we feel our children will be more invested in their education if they are responsible for paying for it (been there, done that). They will be over 18, that makes them adults. They will be making decisions for themselves and, IMO, to help them make better decisions, they need to know that "they" will be responsible for what they decide. Not me. And not my pocketbook. I'll certainly give my input if asked but I won't tell them what I think they should do. I figure I've already made my choices...... and they aren't me. I also know that they have the rest of their lives to figure things out so there's no rush to do it perfect the first time (as if there were such a thing). I'm sure they'll make mistakes along the way but they'll learn from them and grow. In other words, they really won't be mistakes. Just part of the process :)

    ETA: also, please don't be so quick to take other's words so personally. We're just making general comments here. Some may apply to you, others won't. I've never understood why people get so upset and take things so personally when people haven't specifically called them out. If "you're" really not doing whatever the poster is talking about, obviously they weren't talking to "you".
     
  21. Art 1

    Art 1 DIS Veteran

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    I agree.
     

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