7 months pregnant and husband having an affair...what now?

[mrssmith06]

*whew* just sat and read this entire thread for the 1st time!! SO so sorry about what your ex did to you!! He sounds like a horrible, selfish man!! Please do yourself and that precious baby a big favor and do not ever consider taking him back!!!

Congrats on the baby!! And your dad does sound really awesome!! Very happy for you that you have such a great support system!

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Congratulations! Henry sounds like a perfect, precious little dude. He's your new little man! Enjoy him, the first year flies by.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

I'm so glad the delivery went splendidly and that you found some time to post an update.

Your dad.... seriously.... he melts my heart!! Henry's a very lucky lad to have such a bursting-with-pride grandpa in his corner.

Your soon-to-be-ex... what a flippin TOOL! Be ever so grateful that he showed you his true colors and gave you enough time (remember way back when - you thought there was NO time before your due date!) to get far, far away from that uber loser. It's sad. It's the ex's ginormous loss. It's Henry's unbelievable luck. Let the ex stay on the other side of the world and far away from your sweet little boy.

As many others have posted - keep rested and enjoy every moment... even when he pees all over you as you're trying to change him.

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Thanks for another update. So glad you and Henry are doing great. Your dad is amazing!

I think you are doing the right thing by not posting pics or giving out the address. It is wise and smart to protect you and the little one.

 

[MAJPLO]

Very quick update - he's here!

Baby Henry was born yesterday at 1.11am 8lbs 1oz 20 inches long.

He is perfect - literally perfect! I don't know what else to say about him!

Wonderful news to hear. And right on his due date. How exciting.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Thanks for the update and again congratulations. Your dad is amazing and he will be a great role model for Henry.

 

[Shmily1]

OP, loved the latest update! I knew your dad would be crazy with love for your little man, but him getting up in the night to sing to you just proves it. That is precious! You may want to record him doing that sometime so you can play it back years from now when Henry is older.

I am sure in your heart you wanted your ex to want to be a part of Henry's life. In all reality, Henry (and you) are probably better with him not in it. He won't have to wonder when his dad is coming around and when he's not going to be there. With a role model like your dad being there for him, he won't need him anyway!

Enjoy all your new baby kisses. There's nothing sweeter!

 

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

Hi OP: I had somehow missed your last update until I saw people quoting it and your DH's completely rude behavior. I wish he was a better person and father for Henry, but you sound like you have it all under control on your own (and with your amazing parents). I just wanted to wish you an incredibly happy, stress-free holiday with your precious boy.
--Henry's Dis Auntie Katy

 

[Disney Doll]

What a great update (except for the ex-H Part, but I'll get to that ). The baby sounds precious. Your father sounds absolutely adorable!!!!!! I just want to squeeze him he sounds so cute!!!! Your Mom has been a rock....you are so fortunate ot have them, but they are also fotunate to have you and that new baby with them...I am sure they are enjoying every second of it.

Your in-laws...I feel badly for them but I would still tread carefully. While they are, to some extent, victims of their son's horrible behavior, I'd have to be very certain that they weren't going to be doing the "blood is thicker than watr" thing and somehow trying to be turning this situation around to make their son the victim. Right now they aren't speaking to him. That probably won't last forever. I'll tell you though, if he was my son, I have no idea what I'd do if he had made such a monumentally bad choice. I'd be ROYALLY PO'd that his stupid decisions had upended his family, my family, our family and taken my grandchild and beloved daughter-in-law away from me. I'd have scorched the earth around him the day he told me how MONUMENTALLY STUPID he had been.

Your ex-H...stop taking his calls daily. He's trying to worm his way back into your heart because Mommy & Daddy aren't speaking to him, he lost his little on-the-side honey. All he has left is her crazy mother, if she hasn't been warned off. Right now, his life essentially stinks as there is no one worshipping at the altar of him. Or, if you take his calls, report how the baby is doing then hang up. No need to listen to him being concerned about your welfare....that's a joke in itself. He should have been concerned about your welfare by not having an affair with a crazy teenager. Be brief..."Henry is fine, eating & sleeping well, my parents are enjoying him, have a nice day". Done.

Meanwhile, this DIS Auntie is thrilled for you and this new love of your life!

 

[keenercam]

Thank you so much for the update.
Speaking as a parent, I am sure your parents must be so happy to be sharing this time with you and Henry and to be able to support you in such a meaningful way. They sound absolutely wonderful, and I am so glad that you and Henry are in their loving care.
I'm really sorry that the man you'd thought you'd spend the rest of your life with has turned out to be such a disappointment. But it really does seem like he is not the partner you need and want, and he certainly isn't the role model you want in Henry's life. It certainly sounds like Henry won't be lacking for love and devotion. You've captured the hearts of so many here, and you and Henry are now supported in prayer and in good wishes, as well.
God bless you and Henry and your wonderful, generous, loving parents.

 

[dmdelight]

I'm so glad the delivery went splendidly and that you found some time to post an update.

Your dad.... seriously.... he melts my heart!! Henry's a very lucky lad to have such a bursting-with-pride grandpa in his corner.

Your soon-to-be-ex... what a flippin TOOL! Be ever so grateful that he showed you his true colors and gave you enough time (remember way back when - you thought there was NO time before your due date!) to get far, far away from that uber loser. It's sad. It's the ex's ginormous loss. It's Henry's unbelievable luck. Let the ex stay on the other side of the world and far away from your sweet little boy.

As many others have posted - keep rested and enjoy every moment... even when he pees all over you as you're trying to change him.

I second all these sentiments.

have a wonderful Christmas with your darling son and your fantastic parents..

 

[daemom]

Great update!! All of these people are so nice and full of love and are so caring, but I wouldn't publish your address either. Your parents sound wonderful and I'm glad that they're able to experince this joyful time with you. Enjoy little Henry!!

 

[punkin]

What a great update (except for the ex-H Part, but I'll get to that ). The baby sounds precious. Your father sounds absolutely adorable!!!!!! I just want to squeeze him he sounds so cute!!!! Your Mom has been a rock....you are so fortunate ot have them, but they are also fotunate to have you and that new baby with them...I am sure they are enjoying every second of it.

Your in-laws...I feel badly for them but I would still tread carefully. While they are, to some extent, victims of their son's horrible behavior, I'd have to be very certain that they weren't going to be doing the "blood is thicker than watr" thing and somehow trying to be turning this situation around to make their son the victim. Right now they aren't speaking to him. That probably won't last forever. I'll tell you though, if he was my son, I have no idea what I'd do if he had made such a monumentally bad choice. I'd be ROYALLY PO'd that his stupid decisions had upended his family, my family, our family and taken my grandchild and beloved daughter-in-law away from me. I'd have scorched the earth around him the day he told me how MONUMENTALLY STUPID he had been.

Your ex-H...stop taking his calls daily. He's trying to worm his way back into your heart because Mommy & Daddy aren't speaking to him, he lost his little on-the-side honey. All he has left is her crazy mother, if she hasn't been warned off. Right now, his life essentially stinks as there is no one worshipping at the altar of him. Or, if you take his calls, report how the baby is doing then hang up. No need to listen to him being concerned about your welfare....that's a joke in itself. He should have been concerned about your welfare by not having an affair with a crazy teenager. Be brief..."Henry is fine, eating & sleeping well, my parents are enjoying him, have a nice day". Done.

Meanwhile, this DIS Auntie is thrilled for you and this new love of your life!

I also feel for the in-laws. From OP's description, they have done nothing wrong here either, but, unfortunately, you never know how they will act in the future. If it was me, I would allow them to see Henry, provided they come to you and do it under your supervision. That will be pretty easy to arrange because you are still nursing and cannot leave him alone with them anyway. Things will get more difficult as Henry gets older because I would be very hesitant to let him out of my sight with ex's parents.

...oh and if it was me, a Disney trip would be out of the question until Henry turns 18. I wouldn't let him set foot in the US until then. Maybe you can take him to France for Disney instead.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Thank you for the update. I am so happy that everything is going so well for you. I am still amazed by how well you have handled everything. Henry is lucky to have such a smart mommy.

Your daddy sounds like one proud grandpa! That's so very sweet! I am sure your parents are loving life right about now. I wish you all the very best.

 

[babyrich]

I am so excited for your update, I talk about you to my DH like you are someone I actually know...

As for your DH... let it go.. not everyone has the father gene.... your son is much better off without him. He will learn about being a man from your dad!!!! I'm so wishing he was my dad too.

You sound like you are doing great. Henry sounds great.... Now you have your reason to move on ........

 

[AprilShowers]

So I wanted to come back and update a little more now I'm back home and Henry has decided he doesn't need to eat every ten minutes!

The birth ended up being relatively easy and drama-free. I was watching TV in the afternoon, got up to get a drink and found myself in a big puddle of water. My mom was home, so she drove me to the hospital and my dad met us there - my mom was in the delivery room with me but my dad waited in the hallway (he'd joked that he wanted to pass out cigars but didn't think that was done anymore - so I'd bought him a box of chocolate cigars and put them in my hospital bag - he handed them out to the nurses when Henry was born!) Everything went smoothly, and little Henry showed up at 1.11am! I may be slightly biased but I think he's the most beautiful little boy in the world! He's also been an angel so far - he eats (a lot!), he sleeps, he looks up at me, and he really hasn't cried too much! I have a million photos, but I'm not 100% sure about posting them - sounds silly but I might check with the attorney and see what he thinks, just in case.

For those who asked about sending cards, it's an incredibly sweet idea, but since it's my parents address and not mine, I'm just a little wary to give it out. I hope that doesn't offend anyone, I certainly trust everyone on this thread 100% but I feel a little funny about it.

Oh, so I called DH when I went into labor on the way to the hospital, and he said to keep him updated and call with any news. So literally ten minutes after Henry was born, he was the first phone call I made - I was so happy and so excited, I wanted to share it with Henry's other parent. DH didn't pick up his phone so I sent him a photo and a text, and he replied back "he's cute! Congratulations!" OK then. Not an appropriate response for a father seeing his son for the first time, but it set the precedent for me, which sucks but is the reality. He's called every day since to see how we're doing, but he asks more about me than Henry. I hate to admit it, but I guess there was a part of me that thought he'd see the baby and realize he wanted to be in his life - not mine, obviously that ship has sailed - but in Henry's. It's not looking good though, and whilst I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I'll never, ever understand it. I've known this little person five days and I would never, EVER give him up.

My mom called DH's parents as soon as Henry was born, and they're very happy to have another grandson. MIL asked my mom about visiting, and my mom said she should give me some time to decide what I want to do there, and so far MIL has been respectful of that. We have been on Skype several times so they can see him though. MIL also told me she made a phone call to the girl's mother, who was still behaving like DH was some sort of victim, and told her to take her family and leave her son alone. After that, DH hasn't spoken to his parents and they haven't spoken to him. A crappy situation all around, especially near the holidays - but I'm glad to be physically away from it all so I can celebrate Henry's first Christmas with two people who have been the BEST parents a girl could ask for. My dad even gets up in the night when he cries - essentially useless since I'm breast feeding and I'm the only one that can feed him right now, but my dad stands on the other side of the nursery door and sings to us! My mom complains about this every morning!

So that's it for now. Thanks AGAIN for everyone's well wishes and congratulations - it made me smile, I even read the replies out to Henry so he could see how many supporters he had!

Wow. I don't post here often, but I have followed your story. But the bolded part made me tear up! This is such a beautiful story. Your dad is a gem. Give him a huge hug for me, would ya?
Also, the part about your H, made me tear up, but not in a good way. I just can't even imagine.... Congratulations? Weird.
I'm so glad you're in a good place with your parents and your precious son. Congratulations! Enjoy every precious moment. It will all go so fast.
Merry First Christmas to baby Henry!!

 

[LuvSulley]

Been following your story since the beginning but have never posted.. Just wanted to say congrats and that you're an amazing person! I wish nothing but the best for you, Henry, and your parents!!

 

[MickeySP]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I wish you & Henry all the happiness in the world.


I have followed this thread but not posted. I was in a very similar situation, one difference I left before I knew I was pregnant. Like your DH, mine seemed less than involved with the birth etc... He was not there although less than 10 minutes away.

He never did get involved on any level. My parents helped my raise my DS until he was 8. I met a wonderful man & had a great life. My DS is now 28 & has a beautiful wife & duaghter. He is an amazing Dad because he knows what a crappy Dad is like & what a wonderful stepdad(we never called him that) was.

He (& you) will be fine. You sound like you have a great support system.


Oh BTW for the 1st year of his life my DS's Grandpa would carry him when we went out as a family. He was never my son, he was Grandpa's boy!!!

 

[Mkrop]

Your husband sounds like a ding dong!


Congrats on baby Henry

 

[dmdelight]

Your husband sounds like a ding dong!


Congrats on baby Henry

I've never heard of a ding dong before,I' m guessing it' s not complementary?!