Let me preface this by saying I'm from the South and have always lived here...
I've never heard of 'cover your plate'...and could never imagine spending more than $50 on a wedding gift, and the $50 would be close family. Also, most weddings around here are not that expensive...and I have never been to a wedding with an open bar or alcoholic drinks...period. I had a very nice wedding 11 years ago that cost $5000. But I digress...
I have given money or checks before, but not very often. Usually if there is no registry, or I can't attend and just send money. I usually buy a gift. And I do think a poem about giving money is just plain tacky. Do what you would have done had there not been the poem included IMO.
Also being Southern, I always give a GIFT. Here it's considered "nicer" to have put the effort into what the person wants and will appreciate for years. Money comes and goes, and it's quickly forgotten. Well-chosen wedding gifts are a memory of the day for years to come.
I know I am going to get flamed and roasted, but the truth is, I would be embarassed to attend a wedding held at an expensive place and then give $25 for two people attending. KWIM?
Nope, I don't have a clue what you mean.
The bride and groom decide what kind of wedding they want -- big and elaborate, small and intimate. They choose what they are willing to spend. That's all within their range of choice.
You, the guest, decide how much you want to spend upon the couple. If it's someone from work whom you know in passing, it may not be much. If it's a close family member, it's going to be considerably more. What you choose to give is in no way tied to the kind of wedding they're having.
Don't believe me? Here's a test: Let's say you're invited to two weddings. One is a co-worker whom you've known for six months. You like the guy, have met his bride a couple times, and you're happy they're getting married. They're having a lavish wedding, and the reception is going to be held at a restaurant you know is expensive. The second wedding is your niece, whom you've known since the day she was born. You've loved her since she was a baby, you've been to her soccer games and her school plays and her dance recitals, you've spent significant time with this girl as she was growing up, and you're thrilled to see her tie the knot with a fine young man. Low on funds, they've chosen to hold the wedding in her parents' backyard, and you know that they're planning a modest meal.
Would you really give MORE to your co-worker than you would to your niece? If not, then you have to agree that the cover-your-plate concept -- though all but set in stone in some areas -- is just plain silly. You give what you' want to give based upon the recipients, not the day's events.