Wedding invite and $

[kimisabella]

Great, he graduated yesterday.

Oh wow!! Congrats!!! Where does the time go???

 

[LuvMy3Monkeys]

We got married on the boardwalk in WDW... just us, nobody else... so I dont know much about receiving gifts/money for a wedding. But I just wanted to add that maybe you could get them like a hand painted ornament or something for their first christmas. Something along those lines... probably will cost under $25, but will mean alot more than a serving dish or set of towels for a gift.

And for what its worth... I'd never spend $200-$300 on a gift for a wedding. Never.


ETA: You know... now that I'm sitting here thinking about it... some other cool gifts could be an entertainment book for their city or a gift pack from omaha steaks. I always buy my grandma the omaha steaks at christmastime and i can usually get a really nice assortment delivered (steaks, filets, burgers, sausages and a few sides) for about $60, but they have smaller packages also. And what about something like a membership to a SAMS or BJs wholesale club? a year costs $35 or $40 in our area... that could be a wonderful gift! I bought my daughters teacher a end of the year present last year... for $30 I got her 20 car wash coupons at this fancy detailing place in our area when they were running a special. Nothing spectacular but unique and practical! Just some thoughts....

 

[wall*e2008]

There's a minimum I give (I'm guessing most people here have one), regardless of the venue (but again, there are NO yard weddings here). I only gave DH's cousin $100, only because the wedding was in NW MA, backyard, and they gave us candlesticks, and I didn't want them to be uncomfortable. Loved the candlesticks, BTW. I would NEVER have expected them to give us money, because it's not the norm in their region.

I don't know why people are offended by this. I'm not offended that people have cake receptions, give toasters, or have cash bars, in other areas. I've never gone to a wedding reception with less than a $200 check (college days) - I would never give a $30 gift, and don't know anyone who would here.

Later this year we are going to a wedding that will be at the home the bride and groom will be attending and we will be writing the same check that her sister got 3 years earlier. She rented a hall.

 

[PinkRhombus]

What would you all do? I was kinda shocked when I got the invite and I know I cannont ask the family for ideas without being looked down upon...

Give them $25 worth of toilet paper. They'll always need toilet paper.

 

[amshowers]

Honestly, if they were close enough friends they should know about your financial situation and not included that poem in your invitation. If that is the case than go and give what you can afford, otherwise I would decline the invitation.

 

[LuvMy3Monkeys]

I think everyone should just agree to disagree on this one and enjoy the fact that everyone comes from a different place with different cultures and different "norms". Wouldn't it be so boring if we all did the same boring thing all the time??

I personally LOVE the fact that being from Ohio, I can handpick the locals from the northerners at Disney. A 65 degree day will have an equal mix of Parkas and t-shirts with shorts. The parka'd folks from Florida (because 65 is COLD) and the t-shirt clad people from back home in Ohio (because 65 is WARM)!!

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

I'm not offended by my custom being referred to as a "NJ" thing.

I totally did not mean that in a disparaging way. I just never heard of it before my family in NJ was talking about it, then when my nieces and nephew were planning their weddings, it was clear they expected money to cover the meals.

My NJ family thinks that buying off the registry is a Carolina thing (but they all registered anyway, I guess for the benefit of us Southerners).

 

[derocas]

I totally did not mean that in a disparaging way. I just never heard of it before my family in NJ was talking about it, then when my nieces and nephew were planning their weddings, it was clear they expected money to cover the meals.

My NJ family thinks that buying off the registry is a Carolina thing (but they all registered anyway, I guess for the benefit of us Southerners).

I wasn't referring to your post. I thought your post was very cute because when you decsribed it as a "Jersey thing", I thought that maybe it was a Jersey thing. I was actually referring to someone else who described "cover your plate" as "silly". I believe that her name was Mrs. Pete.

I think that we can learn a lot from each other. As long as we "respect" each other's beliefs and not criticize them.

 

[mjkacmom]

I totally did not mean that in a disparaging way. I just never heard of it before my family in NJ was talking about it, then when my nieces and nephew were planning their weddings, it was clear they expected money to cover the meals.

My NJ family thinks that buying off the registry is a Carolina thing (but they all registered anyway, I guess for the benefit of us Southerners).

Silly you! Of course we register for gifts - how else would people know what to buy for the shower! Thanks to these boards, I know it's a very regional thing - never heard of punch, mints, or just cake at weddings - probably a lot easier, but I'm guessing the cost is about the same, when you factor in the cost of the reception, against the gifts.

 

[allison443]

They took our invitation and matted it and framed it. The frame is inexpensive and I'm sure they found the matching matt, standard size, at a craft store and put it all together themselves. They did use brown paper to glue around the back of the frame and attached a hook for hanging.
I just feel like they took the time and love to make us this special gift. We'll be married for 10 years this August and we have moved 3 times since our wedding. The picture is still hanging in our home.

So... just a thought for a gift idea. I am sure you could put it together for under $10.00 and it would cost waaay more if you had if professionally done.
-Sarah

This is a great idea! I have done this with baby announcements and a 50th wedding anniversary party invitation. Craft stores have really nice papers and embellishments you can use. Great suggestion!

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

Silly you! Of course we register for gifts - how else would people know what to buy for the shower! Thanks to these boards, I know it's a very regional thing - never heard of punch, mints, or just cake at weddings - probably a lot easier, but I'm guessing the cost is about the same, when you factor in the cost of the reception, against the gifts.

Well, duh! Never actually considered that they were registering for shower gifts, but it makes perfect sense now!

Yeah, we're all about the punch around here - showers, weddings, birthday parties, graduations, etc. Secret family recipes that have been passed down for generations (why they keep getting passed down, I've yet to determine . . )

 

[skhermsmeyer]

If you find something you like within your budget, then by all means, get it for them. They should be happy with whatever they get. A wedding isn't a free for all for people to get money. This is to celebrate the two of them making a promise to each other. My DH and I both had complete households and we still got gifts that neither one of us had or had ever thought to buy. Weddings aren't to make a profit. Do what you feel is best and what you can do within your budget.

 

[LuvMy3Monkeys]

Okay, now since everyone is comparing traditions at weddings, and some have never heard of punch/mints or just cake... it makes me wonder this...

How many places don't do the dollar dance? You know, where you pay to dance with the bride/groom?

This is so interesting to hear all the different "norms" in different places.

Reminds me of when we went to TN for the first time and I asked what kind of pop they had at dinner and they said uhhhh.. OH you mean soda?

 

[mombare]

Okay, now since everyone is comparing traditions at weddings, and some have never heard of punch/mints or just cake... it makes me wonder this...

How many places don't do the dollar dance? You know, where you pay to dance with the bride/groom?

This is so interesting to hear all the different "norms" in different places.

Reminds me of when we went to TN for the first time and I asked what kind of pop they had at dinner and they said uhhhh.. OH you mean soda?

I love these types of threads because it reminds me of how much we live in hillbilly land! Yes - we do have mints, punch, outdoor weddings, the dollar dance, and all! Just not "cover your plate" (which I can totally respect).

Funny story, though....we have had 4 weddings in the past month, and my 4 yo DS has been quite intrigued with the garter ceremonies. As tacky as it is, around here the bride sits on a chair and the groom throws himself under the bride's dress to "recover" the garter. It is then either auctioned off or tossed. Well, my son informs my sister-in-law this past weekend that the groom has to "go under the brides dress and then he gets a big surprise...and it's gross"! My kids stay waaaayyy to late at the dances!

 

[acourtwdw]

Now before I get flamed, I need to tell you that I am from the midwest and have never been to a wedding that the gift "should cover your plate" nor has that been the standard.

Here is my question: If the "cover your plate" is $200 per person and you don't have that kind of money, do you still go to the wedding? What if it was someone close to you who knows what your finances are like?

Just curious....

 

[Disneyliscious]

Southerner here too. Never heard of Cover Your Plate, but I can understand that its customary in certain parts of the country.

Speaking of customs, and I don't mean to hijack this thread but many answers have already been given to the OP so maybe its ok (?).....

I know its not a light topic, but this thread made me think of it.....

Here in the South, especially where I am, it is 'customary' or 'traditional' to take food to the funeral home when someone dies. The thought is that the family is there all day and having food available is a nice gesture to do. It allows them to not have to worry about what to eat or having to leave to go eat. We take everything from KFC, cakes, desserts, finger foods, tea and other drinks, etc. At my grandfathers funeral I made a pot of turnip greens and took because it is a family favorite. Anyone can eat, not just the immediate family. Its not done as a celebration, rather as an act of kindness in helping a family who is aready sufferng. We also take food to their homes during a death as well.

A few years ago, my 19 year old neighbor shot himself. We took fried chicken and 2 cases of Pepsi's to his mothers house. My mother and father then gave them $300 to help with the cost of the burial.

My husband was appalled at this when we got together as he had never heard of it. Im curious to see if this goes on at other parts of the country too.

 

[Buckeye Princess]

For our wedding about 2 years ago, my husband and I got many gifts of $20-$30 from our friends. My husband is a med student and we found this amount to be quite generous knowing how tight money is for students.

 

[buzz5985]

I am actually wondering if there is even a plate to cover? It is at 2pm, so I am thinking maybe Cake only? Anyways, out here it is mostly registery gifts, not money. My wedding I did get some money, bt gifts were the norm. Interesting how it is in different parts.

This is also a regional thing. If I was getting married at 2 pm - at the reception you would be getting a 5 course meal. Same as at a 11 am wedding or a 6 pm wedding. Plus a bar and a band.

My friends brother married a girl from GA and the family traveled to GA for the wedding. There was the ceremony at 2 pm, and after the ceremony there were h'orderves. That's all there was. My girlfriends parents told their son - if you needed money for a reception you should have asked us, not realizing that the wedding was the norm there.

 

[buzz5985]

Southerner here too. Never heard of Cover Your Plate, but I can understand that its customary in certain parts of the country.

Speaking of customs, and I don't mean to hijack this thread but many answers have already been given to the OP so maybe its ok (?).....

I know its not a light topic, but this thread made me think of it.....

Here in the South, especially where I am, it is 'customary' or 'traditional' to take food to the funeral home when someone dies. The thought is that the family is there all day and having food available is a nice gesture to do. It allows them to not have to worry about what to eat or having to leave to go eat. We take everything from KFC, cakes, desserts, finger foods, tea and other drinks, etc. At my grandfathers funeral I made a pot of turnip greens and took because it is a family favorite. Anyone can eat, not just the immediate family. Its not done as a celebration, rather as an act of kindness in helping a family who is aready sufferng. We also take food to their homes during a death as well.

A few years ago, my 19 year old neighbor shot himself. We took fried chicken and 2 cases of Pepsi's to his mothers house. My mother and father then gave them $300 to help with the cost of the burial.

My husband was appalled at this when we got together as he had never heard of it. Im curious to see if this goes on at other parts of the country too.

If there is a death in the family, people will bring food to the house of the relatives of the deceased, it comes in handy for visitors. It is illegal in MA to have food at the funeral parlor. My DH cousins wanted to serve wine and cheese at their DM wake and were told this. It is also customary for after the burial to rent a hall, and serve either a breakfast or luncheon at the same places we have our weddings in the afternoons. LOL

 

[mjkacmom]

Southerner here too. Never heard of Cover Your Plate, but I can understand that its customary in certain parts of the country.

Speaking of customs, and I don't mean to hijack this thread but many answers have already been given to the OP so maybe its ok (?).....

I know its not a light topic, but this thread made me think of it.....

Here in the South, especially where I am, it is 'customary' or 'traditional' to take food to the funeral home when someone dies. The thought is that the family is there all day and having food available is a nice gesture to do. It allows them to not have to worry about what to eat or having to leave to go eat. We take everything from KFC, cakes, desserts, finger foods, tea and other drinks, etc. At my grandfathers funeral I made a pot of turnip greens and took because it is a family favorite. Anyone can eat, not just the immediate family. Its not done as a celebration, rather as an act of kindness in helping a family who is aready sufferng. We also take food to their homes during a death as well.

A few years ago, my 19 year old neighbor shot himself. We took fried chicken and 2 cases of Pepsi's to his mothers house. My mother and father then gave them $300 to help with the cost of the burial.

My husband was appalled at this when we got together as he had never heard of it. Im curious to see if this goes on at other parts of the country too.

I don't know how to multi-quote, but we never have any food or beverage at the funeral home, although people bring food to people's homes. After the funeral, people usually go to a restaurant for the repast, with a sit-down meal and open bar. We do the garter thing (I didn't, I also didn't do the big intro "introducing, for the first time as man and wife, Mr. and Mrs....). I never heard of a dollar dance before these boards. If you are close to someone, and don't have enough $ for a gift, I see no reason not to talk to them about it. However, if you don't have the $ for a co-workers gift, you just don't go.