Zero Forky's Given - An August 2019 Dining Report - Completed 8/18

[kastoney]

Wow someone else had the Chunkylush title that day!
Nice distraction Kari!

Ya know it was really me

Ample hills is great, having ample hills is even better!

Gotta make sure I'm not just earning my lush name but the chunky too

WOW CASEY > Me. I would never eat a bug!!! Well, knowingly.

Not I would eat one out right but fried and in chili salt why not.

I've felt the same way about Frontera Cocina. It's okay, but not as good as we expected. There was a really good appetizer that was like chips covered in this amazing sauce there last year, but I think it was a special. That's probably the best thing we've had there.

Appetizers and drinks certainly seem to be their sweet spot. We may never be back but if we are that is certainly all we'd ever do

In agreement that Frontera Cocino was a disappointment. Did it once and won't be back for a long time; there are just so many good places to in DS these days.

I'm so with ya. It was great to spend the evening with Jenny but we'll do it elsewhere next time.

They are both aussiedoodles - brother and sister from the same litter!!! The b&w one on the left (boy) is named "Fish" and "should" top out about 55-65lbs and the girl on the right is named "Frankie" and should be 45-50ish lbs - they're F1B aussiedoodles which means their dad is 100% standard poodle (b&w) and their mom is an aussie/poodle mix so they're 75% poodle, and 25% aussie..

I've never even heard of that. They are beyond adorable.

We've never had puppies this young before and never had 2 at the same time and I'm exhausted, but every day they get older and once day I know I'll miss their puppy breath!! (but right now I don't need to smell it at 12 midnight and 2pm when they tell me they have to go potty...)

Wait till they get older like our old man and they do it all over again

Love sushi and egg roll! I want to get the girls another let so bad!!!

We lucked out as a teacher at Casey's school had them in her special needs classroom, but her kids were a little too rough with them this year. She just gave them to us and Casey is enamored.

I won’t be adding this to our list just yet, the appetizers had me ready to add it as it sounded and looks pretty good but seemed like a fail all around after that!!

There are so many awesome places, this should definitely not be on your list.

We are back from our adults trip! And just now trying to catch up!

Welcome back!!! Can't wait to hear all about it.

Did she ride by herself! She is too cute!

She did. Now that she's a big 8 year old she rode a few things by herself this trip. Very grown up!

I love the margarita's with heat. so, Boo!!!

I know me too. The spicier the better in my book so I was bummed.

Did you sniff the markers as well?

You know me. Lick it, shoot it, suck it, sniff it!

AMAZING!!!! I just rubbed in to Gwen (again)

Something tells me Gwen is revolted Casey even thought about doing this let alone actually did it.

 

[suse66]

We made a mandatory pit stop at Ample Hills for some of the best ice cream ever – Ooey Gooey Butter Cake. This unquestionably added to my already ample hills, but it was so worth it.

I am going to be reacquainted with that delicious ice cream in December and I can't wait!!

We started with the Bacon Guacamole and Chips which is of course avocado with bacon, tomatillos, toasted pepitas, cilantro and onions.

Looks good except for the red onion. I only like my onions carmelized......

It was a little too sweet for my liking (the drink, not Jenny) but decent.

Jenny would be saucy, not sweet.....right??

But on the flip side a full five forky’s for a forkin’ great evening with my sister wife, her real sister, her sons, and Casey Jr. – Gia. Our time together was way too short but hopefully we’ll be reunited soon.

Love this picture!!

 

[kastoney]

I've been so busy with my own DR/TR that I look up and see you have a new one! Yay!

So much dining to report on, so little time

I kinda had a feeling... or at least a hope and a dream - and you didn't disappoint! Mallory is an excellent choice for Key Westy names, too, and yes, I definitely know why!

We were actually kicking ourselves when I got pregnant and we didn't save the name Mallory for Casey. Oh well. Duval was almost Truman (which would have fit his personality better) and we may still use that one if we get another dog.

When one starts imbibing at 11am, one does not delay a flight to do so.

I know right? Ya know its early when I wasn't even drinking yet

If ever I have a child, I'll need some pointers.

I have no pointers, just hit the kid lottery

What an amazing kid

She sure is something!

Bummer about Frontera. I looked at the menu last trip but didn't think it would appeal to DH. Altho Guacamole with bacon might actually make me a fan of Guacamole.

Good call on skipping it. The guac was great but not worth another visit.

Can't wait to read what got 0 Forkys. I have an idea so looking forward to seeing if I guessed right.

I'll hopefully get it written up tonight or tomorrow so the anticipation can end

P. S. Isn't a Grasshopper some hideous drink

I know there are some mint cookies that are called grasshopper. I'm guessing there is likely a milky creamy nasty drink by that name too.

So excited for another one of your tipsy reports! Too bad about the meal at Frontera Cocino. It's never really been on my radar since we don't usually spend much time at DS. I'm impressed that your daughter tried the grasshopper. I consider myself a fairly adventurous eater and will try most things, but there is no way I'm eating an insect!

Thanks for joining me! We never spent a lot of time in DTD but we really like a lot of the DS food options. But sadly Frontera isn't in that category. Maybe if more restaurants served grasshoppers you'd spend more time there

Hello! After following all of your tipsy reports, I have come out of lurkdom to let you know how much I enjoy your (and everyone else's) reports

Hi right back at ya. Welcome out of lurkdom. We've all come out of that closest at one time or another Thrilled to have you join me in the lightness.

DN has autism and he and DSIL have a boatload of food allergies, so our meals require a bit more planning and menu investigation to make sure that no one goes home hungry or sick.

I can only fathom how much planning that can take, but thankfully Disney really excels at that.

No on-the-fly ADRs for us, lol! I think our families do have a couple of things in common - we LOVE our Disney trips and we have fun almost wherever we go. Thank you for sharing your sweet family's fun with all of us. It has been great to see the World through your (sometimes) tipsy eyes. I'm sure that this will be a 10 Forky report!

Oh how, thanks so much. Planners or not, it definitely sounds like we've got some fun loving things in common. I'm kinda like my family most of the time so I'm thrilled to share them with the DIS world

Sorry for the fail you experienced at Fronteria. We ate there our first December holiday trip and it was one and done for us. Our main courses were so disliked the boxed leftovers were thrown in the trash before we got back to our resort. Great drinks and appetizers though. I think you were generous giving 2 forks and can't wait to read what eatery got none, LOL.

Drinks and appetizers certainly seem to be their sweet spot. I think that (and Jenny) is the only reason they got 2 forkys. The zero forkys won't even have that going for it.

Way to go Nats!

N-A-T-S NATS NATS NATS!!!!!! Watching the parade now!

Just thought I would stop by and pass on congratulations to the Montreal Expos on their World Series win!

(insert snarky comment about how it took getting out of Canada (and 15 years) to win here)

All signed up!

Well that's not exactly how you hope an arrival dinner is going to go. Dry meat is disappointing; good thing you had Jenny there to help save the meal!

I think my sister wife can save just about anything

I am going to be reacquainted with that delicious ice cream in December and I can't wait!!

I don't even like ice cream and I crave that stuff. So good!!!

Jenny would be saucy, not sweet.....right??

Saucy, spicy, Sister-wifey, and sweet ❤

 

[kastoney]

I'm Trash

Complete and utter trash, but we’ll get there in a few minutes.

We started out our first day early so we could avoid the heat and take advantage of some Extra Magic Hours in MGM. These were a first for us because “extra magic” and rising early are mutually exclusive in our brains but when in Disney…

The bus was full when it got to us, which should have been a sign, but eventually we made it to MGM only to discover that “magic” equated to a 60 minute wait for Toy Story, 45 minutes for Alien Saucer Spin, and 25 for Star Tours. Definitely "extra" but not the extra we were expecting.

So we apparently got up early to do this

And buy this.

Extra Magic Indeed.

We decided to cut our losses and since we didn’t have FPs until later grab some breakfast. We had a lot of options on the app but ultimately landed on a favorite we hadn’t been to in a while: Kona Café.

We bussed it to the Poly and were seated quickly at what appeared to be a table for 2, so things were cramped from the get go. I did however have an awesome view of this lady who was not only rocking a mullet but insisted on showing off her big table by using the worlds largest laptop and mouse.

It's not as obvious from the photo but this thing was so big I could tell she was looking at her $1000 Verizon bill, which just raised so many more questions.

But moving along, Jason and I decided to share a pot of Kona Coffee.

We’d had this before and always liked it but this was so bitter that all the splenda in the world couldn’t save it.

For eats Casey ordered the Minnie’s French Toast.

Now what soggy French Toast has to do with Minnie I will never know, but Casey’s descriptor that this was “wet” really says it all. She did get some sausage and bacon on the side that she was happy with.

For yours truly I went with their newest version of my beloved Samoan, now called the Seven Seas Samoan, which is Poached Eggs with Citrus Hollandaise Sauce on Pulled Pork and Turkey Hash with Mustard Greens and Tomatoes tossed in a Citrus Vinaigrette.

Sadly a cute alliterative name was doing this Samoan no favors. One of my eggs was undercooked with runny whites and the other apparently came hard boiled. The “hash” should have just taken a queue from forky and called itself “trash” because it was a nasty mixture of undercooked potatoes and meat so dry it was more like jerky. I did of course like the arugula and the citrus hollandaise was good but there was no saving the rest of this. Every Samoan and the entire Seven Seas should be seriously offended by this one.

But wait there’s more.

The piece de resistance. The Tour de Force. The Treasure of the Polynesian. Ladies and gentleman please meet the dish my husband called the worst thing ever served on Disney property (and he even ate at Chef Mickey’s once), the one, the only……Loco Moco.

This was supposed to be a “tower” of Rice, Grilled Hamburger Patty, Chorizo Gravy, Eggs and topped with Tomato Salsa. Instead it was sloppy mess of mushy rice topped with a dry quick service “burger” and overcooked eggs covered in what appeared to be vomit and old tomatoes. Quite frankly I’m shocked he even attempted to eat it and while he could only get a few bites to actually go down he said the most jarring thing was that whoever made it had apparently never heard of salt or spices as it was the most bland thing to ever grace his lips. We saw there was a plant based version of this on the menu and thought maybe he the got that by mistake. Whatever happened, unless you consider yourself loco, stay far, far away.

This “breakfast” at Kona was the single worst meal we’ve ever had at Disney. We’ve always had horrible service there but we’ve been able to overlook it in the name of good food. No more as this will forever be known as the meal where Zero Forky’s Were Given.


Now with all our culinary catastrophes we should have complained, but our server was nowhere to be found and we just wanted to cut our losses and high tail it out of there. I should also mention that our mood was definitely impacted as our dog sitter couldn’t get our bull headed dog to go up the deck stairs and back into the house. After 2 hours of trying in almost 90 degree heat I ended up calling my Dad and a good friend to help and they had to put our exhausted and overheated old man on a rug to carry him into the house. We were hopeful things would get better but started to contemplate heading home early.

We eventually made it to the Kingdom of Magic where we drowned our dining and dog sorrows in a couple of Dole Whips.



Screw chicken soup, nothing feeds our souls like pineapple frozen treats.

From there we rode the wildest ride in the west, hung out with a couple of redneck bears, splashed through the old south….


Swam with a mermaid, mined with seven very short, short men,


And finally shivered our timbers with a couple of pillagers.

Fearful they may try and pillage me purse just for @buzzrelly I recreated the worst ride photo of all time.

Hangry from our lack of food for the day we tried to eat Casey’s ears.

And then clearly "hug" and not strangle her

Before capturing these gems on the way out



Clearly our horrible breakfast was really impacting Casey's mood.

Up next, we thankfully do a food 180 and we have our first edition of tipsy notes.​

 

[2xcited2sleep]

That last picture is adorable! She's such a cutie. Yowza on Kona. I have been wondering what spot earned zero forkys and am relieved to hear it is not one of my go-tos. It's been years since I dined there and I don't think I'll be hurrying back based on your and others' experience. I'm horrified to say that Jason's plate really does look like there's vomit on it. And "wet" French toast does not sound terribly appealing. I sympathize with Duval... sometimes I don't want to walk up stairs either but that must have been stressful for you. Poor fella.

 

[Jenny Sanders]

Extra Magic Indeed.

At an extra magical price tag, I bet. LOL!

I did however have an awesome view of this lady who was not only rocking a mullet but insisted on showing off her big table by using the worlds largest laptop and mouse.

You see the weirdest things when you dine...guests wearing tablecloths...LOL!

This “breakfast” at Kona was the single worst meal we’ve ever had at Disney. We’ve always had horrible service there but we’ve been able to overlook it in the name of good food.

I cannot stand Kona for breakfast. We ate there years and years ago. It was so bad that I vowed we would never go back and we haven't...Jason's meal looks like poop on a plate. HAHAHA!

We eventually made it to the Kingdom of Magic where we drowned our dining and dog sorrows in a couple of Dole Whips.

Nothing wrong with that.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your ride photos. You look like a cheerleader on Splash.

 

[sahu]

Wow! I'm surprised that Kona was the zero forkys meal! We've always had good experiences there, although we always order the same two things - the Macadamia Nut Pancakes and the Tonga Toast. Sorry that it was such an awful meal!

 

[ljcrochet]

Sounds like your eating was not off to a good start this trip.

 

[NYCgrrl]

Well those are some unappetizing looking breakfast dishes @ Kona so it makes sense they tasted as bad as they look.
Sad to hear about the coffee too since that is one cup of java the man has always enjoyed. I'm a tea drinker so leave the coffee beans to others.
The head gear is too hysterical and looks quite realistic, LOL.

 

[MomtoLandK]

That's too bad about your meal at Kona. We've always enjoyed breakfast there, but I don't think we've been there in a few years. My oldest daughter got the same dish Jason had and while I don't remember much about it, I do remember that she seemed to like it and ate all of it. LOL at the comment that he's even eaten at Chef Mickey's. We usually go to Chef Mickey's every trip. Sometimes for breakfast and sometimes for dinner. The kids prefer dinner and I usually give in since I know that there will come a time that they won't want to go to character meals anymore (my 12 yr old is already there). We didn't go in June because I thought we could try dinner at Hollywood and Vine instead. That didn't go over well with my 7 yr old (well, she loved H&V but wanted Chef mickey's too). She keeps asking me if we can go to Chef Mickey's on our next trip. At least it looks like you were able to go have a lot of fun at MK! Hope your food improves after this!

 

[StarWarsMomofGirls!]

So we apparently got up early to do this

Impressive hand stand!

It's not as obvious from the photo but this thing was so big I could tell she was looking at her $1000 Verizon bill, which just raised so many more questions.

Why would you do that at a restaurant? odd.

Now what soggy French Toast has to do with Minnie I will never know, but Casey’s descriptor that this was “wet” really says it all. She did get some sausage and bacon on the side that she was happy with.

It is such a bummer that "Minnie" French Toast is just french toast. Why can't they put minnie's face on it or something. Also french toast at Disney has almost always been "wet" as Casey says.

This was supposed to be a “tower” of Rice, Grilled Hamburger Patty, Chorizo Gravy, Eggs and topped with Tomato Salsa. Instead it was sloppy mess of mushy rice topped with a dry quick service “burger” and overcooked eggs covered in what appeared to be vomit and old tomatoes.

I had thought of trying that, as it is a traditional hawaiian meal. Glad I didn't!

No more as this will forever be known as the meal where Zero Forky’s Were Given.

I don't understand why Kona has just bad service. The breakfast we had there was so slow!

Screw chicken soup, nothing feeds our souls like pineapple frozen treats.

Best snack and best place to eat it!

I love this pic!

 

[Texaslove]

So sorry about your terrible meal at Kona! I keep reading bad reviews about Kona. I’ve never been there, but I’ve always wanted to try their coffee and the Tonga Toast. I’m not sure if I’ll bother now!

Love your pics! And can’t wait for the upcoming Tipsy Notes!

 

[Dis_Yoda]

Oh my, that morning did not start out very well indeed. I totally get mental state keeping you from really saying anything even if the meal was terrible. Dogs getting older is rough - we always have it in the back of our mind with our cocker spaniel at this point.

 

[disneyAndi14]

What a disappointing early magic at the studios and breakfast, oh my, it just sucks!

I just don’t understand how Disney is okay with serving such awful food. I have heard Kona has really gone downhil. Super loud, overcrowded, and poor to mediocre food. Not good

Thank goodness for Dole Whips and fun rides!

 

[buzzrelly]

So we apparently got up early to do this

Talent!

We bussed it to the Poly and were seated quickly at what appeared to be a table for 2, so things were cramped from the get go. I did however have an awesome view of this lady who was not only rocking a mullet but insisted on showing off her big table by using the worlds largest laptop and mouse.

It's not as obvious from the photo but this thing was so big I could tell she was looking at her $1000 Verizon bill, which just raised so many more questions.

Whhhaaattt??

Is this the same trip where you saw people dressed in togas at the CG??

We’d had this before and always liked it but this was so bitter that all the splenda in the world couldn’t save it.

What is happening?? This is supposed to be THE best coffee in all of WDW!

This “breakfast” at Kona was the single worst meal we’ve ever had at Disney. We’ve always had horrible service there but we’ve been able to overlook it in the name of good food. No more as this will forever be known as the meal where Zero Forky’s Were Given.

Yikes. That's pretty bad Up until now, I thought I was missing out on the greatest breakfast ever.

Fearful they may try and pillage me purse just for @buzzrelly I recreated the worst ride photo of all time.

Nailed it! And just so you know, every time I think of that photo I restrain myself from reposting it! Anytime you want me to drag it up from the trenches, let me know!

Clearly our horrible breakfast was really impacting Casey's mood.

Clearly.

This is an amazing picture

 

[kastoney]

That last picture is adorable! She's such a cutie.

Thanks. It's all those good genes she's got in there

have been wondering what spot earned zero forkys and am relieved to hear it is not one of my go-tos. It's been years since I dined there and I don't think I'll be hurrying back based on your and others' experience.

If something was going to get it, at least it was Kona and not something I'm sure you and I both love. We'll have a breakfast hit a 5 later in the week that will hopefully continue that trend and become our new go to!

I'm horrified to say that Jason's plate really does look like there's vomit on it.

I know, right??? I wouldn't even try it because it looked so gross. I used to follow a now defunct website called someone ate that and this could easily be showcased on there.

I sympathize with Duval... sometimes I don't want to walk up stairs either but that must have been stressful for you. Poor fella.

I'm so with you. Our trouble with him is he could physically do things but had some sort of mental block about it. He's now at the point where he needs help getting up in the morning, but its still more mental than anything. He's terrified to walk across our wood floors so we have rugs down everywhere. Now this is also where I tell you he is only terrified to walk across it one way and will freely go there other way without issue. Makes zero sense

At an extra magical price tag, I bet. LOL!

Thankfully these were just regular extra magic hours and not the ones you pay for. We'll try them again a few more times, but learned they are most definitely not for us. We'll stick to avoiding the parks that have them from now on.

You see the weirdest things when you dine...guests wearing tablecloths...LOL!

Coming up in just a few days....

I cannot stand Kona for breakfast. We ate there years and years ago. It was so bad that I vowed we would never go back and we haven't...Jason's meal looks like poop on a plate. HAHAHA!

You should have told me not to go. I'll blame you for Jason's poop on a plate

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your ride photos. You look like a cheerleader on Splash.

You know me, I'm all rah, rah, sis boom bah!

Wow! I'm surprised that Kona was the zero forkys meal! We've always had good experiences there, although we always order the same two things - the Macadamia Nut Pancakes and the Tonga Toast. Sorry that it was such an awful meal!

This was definitely the biggest fail we've ever had there. Jason usually sticks to the pancakes but ventured out this time. Clearly that was a big ole mistake. We've generally been fans in the past but not sure we'll be back there anytime soon.

Sounds like your eating was not off to a good start this trip.

It was not but thankfully the next meal will start to turn things around.

Well those are some unappetizing looking breakfast dishes @ Kona so it makes sense they tasted as bad as they look.

We should have known what we were in for the minute they put them down in front of us.

Sad to hear about the coffee too since that is one cup of java the man has always enjoyed. I'm a tea drinker so leave the coffee beans to others.

I'm not a huge coffee person but have enjoyed this in the past. Not sure what the issue was but it was definitely not up to par.

LOL at the comment that he's even eaten at Chef Mickey's. We usually go to Chef Mickey's every trip. Sometimes for breakfast and sometimes for dinner.

Chef Mickeys is easy for me to pick on considering Jason and I ate there one time 20+ years ago when we were in college. Clearly I'm sure nothing has changed in 20 years We aren't buffet fans in general so poor Chef Mickeys, earned or not, is my go to culinary prey.

She keeps asking me if we can go to Chef Mickey's on our next trip. At least it looks like you were able to go have a lot of fun at MK! Hope your food improves after this!

Hope she can get it next time! As fo us we'll skip both Chef Mickey's and Kona and stick to some of the upcoming places that thankfully get better

 

[ktb2002]

Longtime lurker of your amazing reviews! My son will be turning 18 at Disney next year and I figure that warrants an awesome steak dinner. Which restaurant would you suggest for an out of this world steak?

 

[kastoney]

Impressive hand stand!

She's quite the little gymnast. Where she get it, I have no earthly idea

Why would you do that at a restaurant? odd.

It was so weird. Wha you can't see is that under her hand is one of those massive mouse track balls that I hadn't seen in 15 years. Odd is an understatement.

I had thought of trying that, as it is a traditional hawaiian meal. Glad I didn't!

If you're gonna try it suggest you do so in actual Hawaii, but the Disney version of it

I don't understand why Kona has just bad service. The breakfast we had there was so slow!

It really is ridiculous. Its so notoriously bad I'm not sure why they haven't address it. Its like everyone that works there is just dialing it in.

Best snack and best place to eat it!

Thanks for sharing your hideout with us ❤

So sorry about your terrible meal at Kona! I keep reading bad reviews about Kona. I’ve never been there, but I’ve always wanted to try their coffee and the Tonga Toast. I’m not sure if I’ll bother now!

Got to Captain Cooks to try the Toast and call it a day. After this visit this place should be avoided at all costs.

Love your pics! And can’t wait for the upcoming Tipsy Notes!

Thanks so much. I just looked at my notes from our dinner and didn't even realize they were tipsified. There are some real gems in there.

Oh my, that morning did not start out very well indeed. I totally get mental state keeping you from really saying anything even if the meal was terrible. Dogs getting older is rough - we always have it in the back of our mind with our cocker spaniel at this point.

Our mental state was not helping anything, but even a good mental state would not have helped this horrible food.

What a disappointing early magic at the studios and breakfast, oh my, it just sucks!

Sucks indeed!!!! Next time we'll just sleep in and stick to lunch.

I just don’t understand how Disney is okay with serving such awful food. I have heard Kona has really gone downhil. Super loud, overcrowded, and poor to mediocre food. Not good

It really used to be one of our favorites, but this was just plain bad. We'll go somewhere later in the week that redeems Disney breakfast and is the antithesis of everything Kona was.

Talent!

Took a few tries, but she got it. Wait till you see her castle cartwheels

Whhhaaattt??

Is this the same trip where you saw people dressed in togas at the CG??

Yup!!!! The "togas" are still my favorite but this lady and her massive lap top are a very close second.

Yikes. That's pretty bad Up until now, I thought I was missing out on the greatest breakfast ever.

Up until know I would have said you were. You can stay far, far away after this visit.

Nailed it! And just so you know, every time I think of that photo I restrain myself from reposting it! Anytime you want me to drag it up from the trenches, let me know!

I'm still shocked it hasn't ended up as someones avatar!!!

 

[kastoney]

Longtime lurker of your amazing reviews! My son will be turning 18 at Disney next year and I figure that warrants an awesome steak dinner. Which restaurant would you suggest for an out of this world steak?

Welcome form lurkerdom!!! Always glad to have joiners from the dark side

From a pure steakhouse perspective we went to Shula's for the first time on this trip and it was amazing. Yachtsman has been our go to, but Shula's really blew it out of the water. I'd also consider Jiko. Not a true steakhouse, but their filet is a thing of beauty and they have the most amazing mac and cheese ever!

 

[ktb2002]

Welcome form lurkerdom!!! Always glad to have joiners from the dark side

From a pure steakhouse perspective we went to Shula's for the first time on this trip and it was amazing. Yachtsman has been our go to, but Shula's really blew it out of the water. I'd also consider Jiko. Not a true steakhouse, but their filet is a thing of beauty and they have the most amazing mac and cheese ever!

Wonderful thank you!