Zaniest, craziest, crappiest Christmas gift you've ever received?

[Lachesis00]

Has Jeanlf (or is it JeanFl?) posted her Christmas thread? I look forward to that every year!! She always has some doozies, but is so good in the story writing.

 

[nutterbutter2010]

My DHs grandfathers girlfriend gave me a hand for christmas one year. I had NO idea what to do with it - it was a porcelin hand. I guess you could call it art? I called it trash (of course not to her face)!

 

[Green Tea]

I am shocked GreenTea's MIL gave her "that" for Christmas. How I wish I could have gone through the MIL's thought process on getting that gift.

Clearly, it MUST have been on sale. A BIG SALE

 

[minkydog]

My brother's crazy ex-wife sent my son a filthy three legged plastic dinosaur she picked up at the thrift store.

My husband's sister just takes the cake. If you EVER express an interest or passing fancy in ANYTHING be prepared to get it FOREVER. I get chocolate Turtles(don't like them) and various angel sculptures every year. I don't even open the angel boxes anymore--I love angels, but I'm particular about the angels I collect. I don't like mass-produced 3ft tall plastic angels! Oh, and the ginsu knives with bamboo steamer.

The same SIL gives my kids awful gifts. Well into there teen years she was giving DS23 things like a Batman belt, Batman umbrella, Superman underwear, and super heroes Tshirts(this, when he was going through his Hot Topics all black phase.) She sends my DD16 things like a Barbie crown and musical wand, smilie face notebooks, Smiley face rain boots(my daughter wouldn't wear them if all the shoes on earth jumped themselves into a dumpster!) They don't even want to open presents from SIL because they KNOW it's going to be something useless. Why won't she just send them a nice card and some cash? Dead presidents make the perfect gift for teens.

 

[NotUrsula]

My DHs grandfathers girlfriend gave me a hand for christmas one year. I had NO idea what to do with it - it was a porcelin hand. I guess you could call it art? I called it trash (of course not to her face)!

Sometimes those are ring holders. My sister used to work at a ceramics studio and they had several "hand" designs that were meant for that purpose, I can remember painting the nails on them before they were fired.

 

[Abbie]

My principal had a grown son who was into animals and their natural habitats. So one year she gave me a box of Christmas ornament made of pressed animal poop it was some kind of awareness fund raiser item. I couldn't imagine hanging them on the tree in a warm house.

You mean like Litter Critters?? http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/litter-critters/229064/

 

[cabanafrau]

Imported, lemon-flavored fish oil.

No, it's not a typo.

 

[clovergirl5]

My principal had a grown son who was into animals and their natural habitats. So one year she gave me a box of Christmas ornament made of pressed animal poop it was some kind of awareness fund raiser item. I couldn't imagine hanging them on the tree in a warm house.

Holy crap, literally! Are you kidding?

 

[Green Tea]

You mean like Litter Critters?? http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/litter-critters/229064/

hilarious!

 

[maslex]

hilarious!

OMG that was soooo nasty!!! LOL

 

[It'sWDW4me]

My grandma gave me a wicker frog one year.

Strange gift ideas are apparently genetic because my mom is starting to give me very strange things. Christmas 2007 = a radio alarm clock that projects the time on the ceiling (I was 38); Christmas 2008 = The Clapper Deluxe. Can't wait to see what's under the tree this year.

My DS and I will have to work out some sort of code. When I get into the Strange Gift Giving years of my life, he can let me know via code and then I'll switch to greenbacks. Or maybe I'll do what my DMIL did - she'd take us all shopping and we'd pick out our own presents. She'd wrap them up and "surpise" us with them on Christmas day!

 

[puffkin]

Strange gift ideas are apparently genetic because my mom is starting to give me very strange things. Christmas 2007 = a radio alarm clock that projects the time on the ceiling (I was 38); Christmas 2008 = The Clapper Deluxe. Can't wait to see what's under the tree this year.

I work PT in a retail store and we sell TONS and TONS of those type of alarm clocks. I am talking in the hundreds. They are very popular for gifts.

I can't wait for Jeafl's thread! She has such a gift (and good attitude) for writing up their "treasures". It isn't Christmas until that thread is posted!

I can't really think of anything odd that I have gotten and not asked for. My family is pretty good at giving gifts but DH's family who are as cheap as can be always give junk for christmas. They see nothing wrong with spending money on gag gifts that usually aren't funny (moose eared Christmas hats, character socks, etc for adults). I wish they would either just save the money or just give us one decent gift rather than a bunch of junk that just goes into the yard sale pile.

 

[princessbride6205]

When I was 10, my weird aunt got me a Christmas sweatshirt in a kids size 6-8. Needless to say it was too small, but she insisted all the cousins put on their sweatshirts while we went out to get a Christmas tree. So I spent the day crammed into this skintight sweatshirt and I don't think she noticed it was too small!

 

[NotUrsula]

Christmas 2007 = a radio alarm clock that projects the time on the ceiling (I was 38)

What does your age have to do with the usefulness of the clock? I gave one of those to my then-10 yo son, because he would wake up in the middle of the night, but couldn't see what time it was unless he got out of bed (no place to put the clock but a high dresser.) A lot of people like those clocks because you can put them out of reach and still see the time early in the morning, but it still forces you to actually get OUT of bed in order to turn it off.

 

[laurie31]

What does your age have to do with the usefulness of the clock? I gave one of those to my then-10 yo son, because he would wake up in the middle of the night, but couldn't see what time it was unless he got out of bed (no place to put the clock but a high dresser.) A lot of people like those clocks because you can put them out of reach and still see the time early in the morning, but it still forces you to actually get OUT of bed in order to turn it off.

I would actually like one of those. We only have room for a side table on DH's side of the bed, so if I wake up in the night, there's no way for me to find out what time it is without waking him up (by crawling over him to see the clock) and it would be mean to wake him just because I'm awake, so I just live without knowing. LOL.

I can't decide which is worse - the poop ornaments, or the "personal" gift from a MIL. Although all of these that have been posted are pretty bad gifts! Mine is pretty tame in comparison. DH has an aunt who sold Mary Kay, and she'd give us samples. Ummm...we know you didn't pay for these, or not much. Plus it felt like a veiled attempt at salesmanship.

 

[Robinrs]

A Lilac sweater from my middle sister... and an ORANGE pants suit from my oldest sister.

I have ONLY worn black since I was 10 years old.... I guess this was their way of "transforming" me...

That was 30 years ago and YES, I'm still wearing black...

 

[jeepgirl30]

I've been screwed my whole life! My mom is the worst gift giver ever. I get tons of used things from her, stuff she picks up through the year at gargage sales that just don't make sense or clearance items that i have no clue what to do with. My MIL is passive agressive with her gift giving.

one year i hosted a candle party in nov. I was pregnant with DS. She kept insisting i smell this melon candle. I explained i could not as that scent made me really nauseous. When i wasn't looking she stuck it under my nose. i vomitted. guess what i got for christmas? yup, she bought it there for me. Not like she forgot since it was the only candle she bought and i got it 3 weeks later.

This year mom gave me an early present. It is a cross i made at bible camp when i was like 8 out of matches. It broke years ago but she thought i might want it anyway because she was "sick of storing all this crap". thanks mom!

oh well at least my darlings get me some cool stuff at the holiday shop at school! Those #1 mom keychains and pins sure are winners compared to the candle that makes me puke and old junk my mom no longer wants!

 

[Robinrs]

Christmas 2007 = a radio alarm clock that projects the time on the ceiling (I was 38);

I would actually like one of those.

I've always wanted one of those alarms, too!! You can ship your BAD gift to me!

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

My awful ex bf gave me a deluxe light up Darth Vader lightsaber one year. Way cool if you are a Star Wars fanatic…. Not so much if you are me. That same year, he also gave me a miniature copy of the US Constitution, a child’s fake gold chain with a charm of a cartoon penguin on it and wind up teddy bear toy that was actually kind of dirty and missing some of it’s fur…

Men? Why would you give any of these things to your 30 (at the time) year old girlfriend? Why? lol

Among the many reasons he’s my EX. lol.

One year my dad gave me a large, 25 lb “mystical misting fountain” that you’re supposed to hang on the wall. It had, like, a dragon head and you could run water through the dragons mouth or something. It’s still in a box. Unfortunately, my fiance found it last week and wants to take it with us and display it when we get our place after the wedding…

Last year, my mom got me (amongst many other things) the worst bathrobe I’ve ever seen. It was like assorted pink colored spots and it was made out of this weird material. She later told me she got it as a free gift with her groceries… Yikes.

I already know for a fact that my mom got my fiance and my brother each a talking football bank this year. Fiance is 35 and brother is 28. Neither is a mega football fan.

Last week some friends of ours gave us a good “bad gift” story… the husband said when he was little, about 7 or 8 or so, he got a huge box from his grandparents. HUGE BOX. FROM GRANDPARENTS! 7 year old kid! Kid is PSYCHED! Imagines it’s a train set or something… Turned out it was the entire Time Life book encyclopedia of WW2 set. Now, that might be cool if you’re a 17 year old kid or something and into history… but 7 or 8 years old?!? Friend said it was the worst Christmas gift ever.

 

[kaffinito]

My principal had a grown son who was into animals and their natural habitats. So one year she gave me a box of Christmas ornament made of pressed animal poop it was some kind of awareness fund raiser item. I couldn't imagine hanging them on the tree in a warm house.

I'm cryin' I'm laughing so hard!