Your Worst Date Ever Story

[ButchJohnson]

Inspired by a thread on here and a recent TV commercial that comes to mind with obnoxious dates, and out of boredom, I thought it might be interesting for some of us to share some date horror stories that are funny looking back.

Ever have the excessive cell phone talker that is on the cell phone for 90% of the date? (That's one of the most annoying things ever.)

The person that got too serious right off the bat and immediately started talking about marriage?

The drunk that drank too much and caused some type of mis-hap/ incident/scene? Peed themselves or whatever?

The person that constantly talks about their recent X??????

Probably more common the person that thinks they are God's gift and constantly talks about how great they are, or how great their profession is, or how rich they are, or how everyone wants to go out with them etc.,

My dating days are over, but I think I have had a combination of just about all of the above in those dark days I call when I was single.

 

[Sonya]

OK, I'll start. This was back when I was a junior in high school. It was my 2nd date with the guy, my 2nd date EVER. We did the usual, movie and dinner, then he took me to his friend's house where we were to meet up with his friend and his date. Which we did, except the other couple was watching an, um, adult movie. We stayed for a bit then my date said it was time to go. He was embarrased as me, but why he had us stay in the 1st place I don't know!

There wasn't a 3rd date.

 

[luvwinnie]

The worst for me was the guy who told me on the first date he wanted EIGHT kids...um, I wanted/want NONE! Yeah, good match there!! lol

 

[ButchJohnson]

That's pretty Seinfeld-ish. This also reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry had fixed Elaine up with one of his friends, then when he asked how the date went she said.

Well, ....let me see...how do I put this...He pulled it out...He pulled-It-Out.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I honestly can't say that I've ever had a bad date...the closest I came to one was back in HS when this guy came in to the video store where I worked, asked me if he could drive me home...okay, fine...but then he came BACK, while I was in the shower; my grandmother answered the door and he demanded to see me (she refused to get me out of the shower). Monday at school, he was telling everyone that he was my boyfriend and he followed me around like a lovesick puppy dog. I wouldn't go out with him after that.

 

[Cantw8]

Back in high school, a guy who I had just started being friends with asked me if I wanted to go to a party with him. He said it was a birthday party for some girl he knew. I said...sure, why not? When we got there...there was only one other couple and the birthday girl. Apparently, it wasn't exactly a party but was suppose to be a "double date". When the birthday girl saw me with what she had hoped to be her date, she cried and ran and hid in the bathroom I felt horrible

 

[sugarpie]

It was a first date. We went to dinner, then a movie. Dinner was Taco Bell. The movie was called Sleepers, and in it there was a scene where an adolescent boy was raped. It was a really shocking, horrifying scene and there was absolute quiet in the movie theater until my date burst out laughing. He must have laughed for a full minute. It was completely embarassing.

No second date for that guy.

 

[cats7494]

My freshman year in college this guy asked me out..so for our first date - we went to his parent's house for dinner!During dinner, they were asking me all kinds of questions about my future with their son, how many kids we will have..etc! It was really, really strange!
We then watched home videos of their family. It was really the strangest dating experience I have ever been through. Obviously, that was the one and only date with that guy!

 

[ButchJohnson]

I honestly can't say that I've ever had a bad date...the closest I came to one was back in HS when this guy came in to the video store where I worked, asked me if he could drive me home...okay, fine...but then he came BACK, while I was in the shower; my grandmother answered the door and he demanded to see me (she refused to get me out of the shower). Monday at school, he was telling everyone that he was my boyfriend and he followed me around like a lovesick puppy dog. I wouldn't go out with him after that.

That sounds almost more like a stalker, or potential stalker. That's kind of funny though. I demand to see___! She's in the shower. I dont care I must see____. That is pretty Seinfeldish as well.

 

[WDWAurora]

Let's see...he'd had a crush on me since 6th grade, and I was NOT interested. Fastfoward until I'm 16-my mom tells me to go out with him or I'm grounded from the car for a while (long story, but he was a nice guy, so she thought I should go). So I go. Well...he brought his best friend because he was "too nervous" otherwise. Ugh. So...we go to a restaurant, where best friend's "brother" (long story) worked. We had like 10 minutes before our movie started because the boys were late.

So then...we go to the movies-and see The Matrix. Such a date movie. It was packed and the best friend didn't get to sit with us because there weren't 3 seats together. The date never spoke to me. He dropped off best friend first, before he took me home. He still never spoke. It was the weirdest thing EVER. It was never mentioned again, other than a love poem he wrote me the next year. Luckily, he lost interest when we got out of high school. It could have been rough because we ended up at the same college, but thankfully, he was finally over it.

 

[MushyMushy]

I'm embarrassed to say that I once went through a dating service. One of my friends did it and ended up having such a great time AND met her DH through it. My first date was HORRIBLE. I'd gone through this long interview process and did a psychological exam that they must have totally ignored. One of my prime requirements was that the guy be intellectual -- that was far more important than looks, money, or ANYthing else.

So the guy shows up and he's driving a tow truck. He must have just come off of work, because he was still dirty (dirt under the fingernails, dirty jeans, etc). I could have overlooked all that, but he was dumb as a rock. Every time we tried to talk, he'd stop me and say, "What does that mean?" and I'd have to give him the definition of some word I'd used. And folks, I'm not exactly Shakespeare myself! After dinner, we went to a karaoke bar where he sang badly and talked about a future for us.

 

[ducklite]

A guy who was a friend of a friend asked me out. He said "Dinner and a movie." Sounded good.

He showed up to pick me up and his car was disgusting--the back seat was entirely filled with garbage--soda cans, fast food wrappers, old newspapers, more fast food wrappers, there was prbably a family of field mice living back there. I kid you not, the trash came up to the top of the bench style front seat, and if we had stopped fast it would have come over the back into the front.

So first he ahd to make a bunch of stops here and there, a pool hall, anoterh bar, some guys house. I'm not sure if he was dealing drugs or hustling up some cash, either way, it wasn't good. Finally about three hours later he takes me to this place that only served hot dogs. You could get mini franks, regular dogs, or foot longs, but all they had was hot dogs.

Then for the movie, we went to his mom's house. She had three or four dogs, and there were piles of dog crap all over the living room floor. The place was covered with fur. It was absolutely repulsive. It was like walking through a mine field trying to dodge the crap. We sit down on the sofa and there's no coffee table, no place to put my pocketbook other than the crap covered floor. We watched some stupid made for tv movie, then he said he'd take me home. We start with teh driving around making stops all over the place bit again, and I finally told him I wan't feeling well (the truth after the dog crap on top of hot dogs) and he took me home. He wanted to take me out again the next night! He called me for weeks until I finally told him I had gotten back together with my very jealous old boyfriend (a lie) just to make him go away.

Anne

 

[ButchJohnson]

Let's see...he'd had a crush on me since 6th grade, and I was NOT interested. Fastfoward until I'm 16-my mom tells me to go out with him or I'm grounded from the car for a while (long story, but he was a nice guy, so she thought I should go). So I go. Well...he brought his best friend because he was "too nervous" otherwise. Ugh. So...we go to a restaurant, where best friend's "brother" (long story) worked. We had like 10 minutes before our movie started because the boys were late.

So then...we go to the movies-and see The Matrix. Such a date movie. It was packed and the best friend didn't get to sit with us because there weren't 3 seats together. The date never spoke to me. He dropped off best friend first, before he took me home. He still never spoke. It was the weirdest thing EVER. It was never mentioned again, other than a love poem he wrote me the next year. Luckily, he lost interest when we got out of high school. It could have been rough because we ended up at the same college, but thankfully, he was finally over it.

That's understandable, I try not to talk when me and DW go out on a date either.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

That sounds almost more like a stalker, or potential stalker. That's kind of funny though. I demand to see___! She's in the shower. I dont care I must see____. That is pretty Seinfeldish as well.

The really weird part was that even though he was from Poland, he spoke perfect English at school and when he came into the video store, but when he talked to my grandmother, he suddenly didn't speak English! She said he was asking for what sounded to her like "Lisa Becker." We finally decided that "Lisa Becker" sounded very close to "Elizabeth." It was really weird and creepy.

Not only that...his name was Darius, but everyone called him Jimmy?

Even his best friend started following me around, too, asking me why I wouldn't go out with him.

 

[RUDisney]

Two bad dates for me.

First was when I was a Jr in HS. It was our semi-formal and I was going with a guy whom I though understood that we were going as friends and not as a date. After the semi, he's driving around wondering what to do. I think he thought we'd be going to lover's lane. I said, "let's go back to my house." I took my mother into the kitchen and told her I'd never forgive her if she left me alone with him. He stayed until 3:30 a.m.! We still refer to that night as my marathon date that wouldn't end.

Other bad date was first year of college. I met a guy that I thought was nice during orientation. We hung around together for a couple of weeks and one day I went back to his dorm room to get something. He closes the door and tells me how lucky I am since I'm the first girl he'll have sex with in college. Umm, I'm not seeing it happening for us. I left his room. Hmm, he never called me after that. Go figure.

 

[PeterPanette]

I met him on the internet. He was sweet. He liked the same music I did. He never asked me for nekkid pictures. We built up a pretty close online relationship over time. He invited me to fly cross country to meet him. All my friends were horrified and thought I'd wind up dead, but something told me he was okay.

He picked me up at the airport in an '82 Sunbird with the muffler hanging off and scraping the pavement, shooting sparks the whole way back to his apartment.

I thought we'd go out to eat; I was starving after having traveled all day. He offered to make me supper. It was a dried up piece of Oscar Mayer salami between two pieces of STALE, crumbly white loaf bread. I couldn't help but notice the big orange price sticker on the bread "Yoke's Pak n' Save! 25cents!" (just now noticed that my keyboard has no cents key) I thought, "Dang! At least he could have dug a quarter out of the couch cushions to spring for a fresh loaf of bread!"

I tried to be a good guest and choked a few bites of it down, chased by tap water, no ice, because he only had a tiny dorm refrigerator - no ice trays.

We then sat on the ratty loveseat of his furnished efficiency apartment while he showed me picture albums of himself growing up. But wait! The fun wasn't over! I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, he had yanked the loveseat cushions off and pulled out the sleeper "bed". He then insisted that we lounge on it while watching Bugs Bunny cartoons.

But, darn it, I was determined to have fun! And I was determined that he was going to be wonderful. So I stuck it out for the next couple of days. Lucky for him, there was just something about him that I really, really liked. A whole lot. Before I knew it, I was in love.

That was 10 years ago. He was looking for marriage. I wasn't.

He has been the BEST husband I could have ever dreamed of!

ETA: That horrible first date was due in large part to him being so poverty stricken. Poor thing. He owned 2 towels, 2 wash cloths, and 2 McDonald's Disney glasses. He had taught himself "computers" by buying an old one at a pawn shop and tearing it apart and putting it back together again, night after night, in cheap hotel rooms while he traveled around the country for his dead end job. He finally landed a job at a software company and had just taken that horrible apartment - the cheapest he could find. I only tell you all this so that I'm not making him out to be some cheap, thoughtless jerk. He was just BROKE. But, he has provided for us very well since then.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

I had been dating this guy for 3 months, but we had been friends for a few years. Anyway, on the way to the movies one night, he pulls the car over and tells me he has to come clean about something. Turns out he was convicted pedophile and was on probation and not even allowed in my state (I live in a border town and we lived in different states). I told him to take me home immediately and I haven't talked to him since.

Luckily I had NEVER left him alone with my dd. Yikes.

 

[DISUNC]

This is weird one!

When I was in College, I went to pick up my date at her house (she lived with her parents). I waited downstairs while she went upstairs to tell her Mom that she was leaving.

I heard horrifying screams from the upstairs. I went running up the stairs & saw my date screaming in the hallway. Her Mom had commited suicide in her bedroom.

....about 2 months later...we decided to give it another try. I went to her house to pick her up. I was talking to her Father in the living room, while waiting for her to come down stairs. Her Dad then had a massive heart attack right in front of me. I called 911, and he lived.

However.....Me & that girl never talked to each other again.

ps. a few years later, on her wedding day to some guy...her newlywed husband drug overdosed and died at the reception!

 

[lovemygoofy]

This is weird one!

When I was in College, I went to pick up my date at her house (she lived with her parents). I waited downstairs while she went upstairs to tell her Mom that she was leaving.

I heard horrifying screams from the upstairs. I went running up the stairs & saw my date screaming in the hallway. Her Mom had commited suicide in her bedroom.

....about 2 months later...we decided to give it another try. I went to her house to pick her up. I was talking to her Father in the living room, while waiting for her to come down stairs. Her Dad then had a massive heart attack right in front of me. I called 911, and he lived.

However.....Me & that girl never talked to each other again.

ps. a few years later, on her wedding day to some guy...her newlywed husband drug overdosed and died at the reception!

OMG You have to be making that up!! That all happened to the same girl?!!?!? That poor poor thing.

Well I have tons of bad date stories lol but here is just one. I was in college and met this guy at church through some mutual friends at church. He had just left the marines and came back to the community and when he asked me out I just said why don't you bring a movie over and I'll make dinner.

So I made up a lasgna and some salad and he brought over a movie. I didn't bother to ask the title and dinner was going great with good conversation and it was time for the movie. He had rented the Nick Cage movie 8 or 9 mm about the snuff porn. I was like holy crap is this a first date movie?!!? I'm wigging out thinking I have a freak in my house and I turn to see his reaction and he has ummm a man happy going on if you know what I mean and is thinking I must be wanting him to reach for me. I duck under and jump up and run for the door saying I had a great evening but he probably needed to get going and don't forget his movie. Yes, that was the only date he had.

 

[singingpixie]

This is weird one!

When I was in College, I went to pick up my date at her house (she lived with her parents). I waited downstairs while she went upstairs to tell her Mom that she was leaving.

I heard horrifying screams from the upstairs. I went running up the stairs & saw my date screaming in the hallway. Her Mom had commited suicide in her bedroom.

....about 2 months later...we decided to give it another try. I went to her house to pick her up. I was talking to her Father in the living room, while waiting for her to come down stairs. Her Dad then had a massive heart attack right in front of me. I called 911, and he lived.

However.....Me & that girl never talked to each other again.

ps. a few years later, on her wedding day to some guy...her newlywed husband drug overdosed and died at the reception!

I'm sorry she never called you again, but all I can think is "that poor girl!"