Your RSVP is too late!!

[JodyLynC]

Ugh!! I am so annoyed right now. We invited 10 little girls to a bowling party for my DDs' b-day. 9 RSVP'd as yes. The 10th (Mary) never responded. This morning (4 days after the RSVP date) I invited a co-worker's DD to fill the spot.

An hour ago, the "Mary's" mom called and left a VM stating that she knew she was responding late, but "Mary" would like to come to the party.

I've already ordered the balloons (big, mylar ones that each girl can have), finished the goodie bags, and paid for the cake and food. The bowling party was for 10 guests. I really don't have extra money or the time to add in Mary at the last minute.

Would I be a real ***** to say "I'm so sorry. Your response came to late. Can we invite Mary over for a playdate next week?"

 

[wdwfan16]

The mother was wrong but I would not take it out on "Mary".

 

[TimeforMe]

I would just be afraid of disappointing "mary". It's not her fault her mom didn't respond in time. But that's JMO, of course.

 

[JodyLynC]

I'd rather not disappoint Mary either, but I had and RSVP date down for a reason. That is why I'm thinking of suggesting a separate play date.

Oh and I need to pick her up and drop her off as well.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Of course I'd hate to see a child disappointed, but maybe Mary's mom will get the message when Mary can't go. I don't blame you. She'll live.

It's just crazy the way people don't RSVP. Seems like there are never any consequences.

I'd tell her exactly what you stated...you didn't hear from her, you're so sorry but you invited a co-workers daughter.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I too would not want to exclude Mary...

I would have planned a little wiggle-room in the plans...

I can understand if planning for something that truly had limited seating... But, one more kid at a bowling alley - not so much of a big deal...

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I agree with the PP's. Not her fault her mom is inconsiderate. Can you open the goodie bags and redistribute the contents? Or just make up a quick one without all the same stuff and make sure Mary gets that one? The kids won't know if they take them home before opening them. It shouldn't be too hard to get an extra balloon, would it? I don't really know all you would have to do, but I have BTDT and you will feel better that the little girl wasn't punished because of her mom. Your DD might find out that you said no and not understand, too.

JMO, of course, it would certainly be understandable if you told the mom "No".

Some moms.... They just don't get it, and the probably never will, so teaching her a lesson will have no effect on her at all, just her DD.


ETA: I just read the clincher in your last post. YOU have to pick her up and drop her off? What nerve! I would tell her she would at least have to have the kid's delivery taken care of. That is above and beyond.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ohhhhh, I am just now registering with the fact that you are being asked if you can pick her up and bring her home as well...

Now, on that - YES, that is more than annoying!

Tough call....

 

[JessicaR]

It's one more, really not a big deal at all. I would not exclude Mary. The mom rsvp'd late, it happens. The day of the party you may have at least one no-show too, that happens also.

 

[AKL_Megs]

What would be involved in including Mary?

I totally understand the Mylar balloon and goodie bag thing, that really is inconvienient, and I really have no suggestions other than to say, either you "upset Mary" or take the time to call the balloon shop and add on another balloon, and throw together another bag for Mary.

But surely there will be enough cake and food to include Mary... how old is she? 6? How much does a 6-year-old eat? There is usually almost always leftovers, isn't there?

Don't really know what else to say, but I agree with the others... don't take out Mary's mom's irresponsibility on her.

Oh, and when you call her mom, I would make SURE you point out how inconvienient her not calling back in time is. (Then perhaps direct her to the thread on here about RSVPing... )

 

[Kimberle]

Yes, it would be "witchy" to tell her she can't come. Do you really want to do that to a child??? A different playdate would not make things right. When I had my dd's parties, I always has a couple of extra's in case someone unexpected showed up. I've also had people cancel at the last minute because of illness.

It's a kids party, not a wedding.....

 

[JodyLynC]

It's one more, really not a big deal at all. I would not exclude Mary. The mom rsvp'd late, it happens. The day of the party you may have at least one no-show too, that happens also.

In addition to adding on a child I don't have a balloon or goodie bag for, I've been asked to pick her up and take her to the party then bring her home.

 

[JessicaR]

The added part about picking her up and bringing her home, does she live on your way? If its out of the way that would be the wrong thing to even ask of you.

 

[JodyLynC]

What would be involved in including Mary?

I totally understand the Mylar balloon and goodie bag thing, that really is inconvienient, and I really have no suggestions other than to say, either you "upset Mary" or take the time to call the balloon shop and add on another balloon, and throw together another bag for Mary.

But surely there will be enough cake and food to include Mary... how old is she? 6? How much does a 6-year-old eat? There is usually almost always leftovers, isn't there?

Don't really know what else to say, but I agree with the others... don't take out Mary's mom's irresponsibility on her.

Oh, and when you call her mom, I would make SURE you point out how inconvienient her not calling back in time is. (Then perhaps direct her to the thread on here about RSVPing... )

She is 8. And I have been asked to pick her up and take her to the party.

 

[JodyLynC]

The added part about picking her up and bringing her home, does she live on your way? If its out of the way that would be the wrong thing to even ask of you.

She is in the neighborhood, but in order to pick her up we would have to take 2 cars. We already have 5 people in the car. Plus we have to pick up the cake and balloons.

 

[AKL_Megs]

ETA: I just read the clincher in your last post. YOU have to pick her up and drop her off? What nerve! I would tell her she would at least have to have the kid's delivery taken care of. That is above and beyond.

Oh, heck no! I'd be telling Mary's mom that you will be busy with decorating preparations/cleanup, and would not be able to pick up/drop off. That MAY solve all your problems!

 

[pilotwife_02]

Here in town we have a bowling alley and the b-day parties are usually packages and have a child limit on it for the party so yeah I can see where you would need to say "Sorry, we didn't hear from you in time and to fill the spot to get the most out of the price I have to pay, I invited someone else".

And if you have been asked to chauffeur her to and from the party I think that would just add to my desire to tell her that it just won't work out this time, but "let's set up a seperate time for the girls to get together".

 

[minkydog]

I would find a way to make room for the little girl. I would NOT pick her up and drop her off. You're going to have enough on her plate. Mrs. Late RSVP Mom can either figure out something or her daughter gets left out. Not your problem.

 

[AKL_Megs]

She is 8. And I have been asked to pick her up and take her to the party.

Okay, still 8-year-olds at parties usually don't eat too much...

And about the transportation, already answered that. But that doesn't have anything do do with whether or not you let the girl come. What if mom says, "Okay. I will drop off/pick up"?

Are you going to let the girl come or not? You need to decide that first.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

In addition to adding on a child I don't have a balloon or goodie bag for, I've been asked to pick her up and take her to the party then bring her home.

I would call her and tell her she had to bring and pick up the child, that you can't do that AND organize the party. That may be your out..and you need her answer while you are on the phone. Then if she says she can bring her, do the best you can with the party favors.

I usually make a couple of extras, too. But I don't do elaborate bags, either. I either do a pinata and give them a bag to fill, or throw some candy in a bag for them to take home. One year at the Dollar Tree I found Hover Discs and I bought 40 of them in anticipation of birthday parties to come. After 4 years I finally used all of them, even gave some to siblings that helped come and pick up kids.

Good Luck. Nothing like someone throwing a wrench in the works to make an otherwise fun thing a royal PITA.