I feel very strongly when my daughter ask a question about some one I should answer it then and there not hush her up and try to pretend I didn't hear. At this point she is never rude. She is only 5. At times I wish I could refer her directly to the person. Example, we were at City walk making dinner ressies and the lady had ..... So what is your view point with children who are curious by nature and generally want to know
My kids both have issues. They also have service animals. They hate it when they hear kids talking about them or their dogs. I think a 5 year old is old enough to understand that talking about others may hurt their feelings. I guess I'd tell a young child that it's not nice to talk about others. Later, if your child has questions, I'd suggest talking about the situation.
I don't know that it does any good for kids to speculate about the health or abilities of another individual. My daughter, or example, doesn't think of herself as having any issues at all. Now, she's 10, the size of a 7 year old, uses a w/c, oxygen, and has a service dog, among other things.
My adolescent son has horrible problems with people staring and talking about him. He hates to be in public because of this. It's never an easy thing. There is never a time when people don't come up and ask questions.
You know, people with disabilities are just like everyone else. How does it make you feel when you hear people talking about you? I love children. But so much of our lives are wrapped up in our issues that it's, well, hurtful sometimes to deal with the stares, and to have other people expect us to explain our issues to them. It'd be nice to go to the mall and be like everyone else. It's really tough to walk past people, even well meaning and innocent children, who are discussing the possible reasons why we have wheelchairs or service dogs.
I hear parents tell their children, "Oh those people are training a blind dog." People come up all the time and ask, "You're not blind. What kind of dog do you have?"
I guess, the long answer to your question would be this. If the person comes up to you and explains things then it's OK to ask questions. Otherwise, I'd work with your child to teach her not to speak about others and to ask questions privately.