Your child's school rules: the stupid, weird, or just plain annoying

[hereyago]

What "safety" interest is served by not allowing hoodies? If you want to choke someone by the neck of a shirt you still can.

I hadn't even thought of the "chocking someone" aspect. I was thinking more along the lines that schools may not allow hoodies espeically to be worn in case a kid went all nuts and wanted to "help hide his face" with the hoodie or as you wrote hide weapons.

But hats as a whole aren't allowed in DD's school, unless it's funky hat day where kids pay 1.00 to wear a hat, which kind of boggled me.

 

[NotUrsula]

So, if I'm getting your point - you don't think there should be any rules that kids might try to find a way around?

That isn't the issue -- it's the issue that the rules are overbroad and the baby is being thrown out with the bathwater.

Banning colored "water bottles" as a way to interdict alcohol is a ridiculous exercise in beating around the bush. Simply ban the consumption of alcohol on school premises. If the problem is alcohol then address the actual problem.

Don't want guns and knives? Then ban guns and knives, not handbags.

If a school wants to ban backpacks in the halls because people are getting bopped with them in crowded hallways, then that makes a certain amount of sense, but can be overcome by saying that bookbags cannot be carried on the back during passing times. Banning them because you MIGHT be able to put a hip-flask or a handgun in it is overkill.

The reason that I hate overbroad rules that are supposed to serve a sort of "dragnet" role is that they actually encourage people to ignore rules. Rules need to have a reasonable and narrow focus in order to have a decent chance at being obeyed by the majority. Make them too broad and they won't be respected.

 

[kacaju]

Didn't you carry a backpack to class when you were in school? Plenty of kids did back in the stone ages when I was in middle/high school.

Yeah, I think this is a stupid rule too.

yes I carred a backpack...and it went into my locker and i went to my locker before each class and get the books I needed for that class.

 

[spacemountainmom]

DS's middle school and DD's high school do not allow backpacks of any sort to be carried during the day. I just don't get it. The lockers at the middle school are so small that the backpack barely fits in them. I have started to see some of the 8th grade girls carrying purses and that seems to be ok.

 

[mamacatnv]

I feel sorry for your kid also. How about the time when my sons teacher forgot to send the money to the lunchroom, I happened to call, just how does he learn responsibility for that? And not all kids eat before school, some of us can't stomach food at that hour. Like I said thank God for reasonable school like ours, that actually care if your kids eat. Don't know why it bothers you so much, bringing food isn't doing a darn thing to make it unfair for your kid. Get over it. See above post about occasionally helping people that you love out, seems it might be helpful. I have 3 kids and I have had to do this once for one kid, but too darn bad if it bothered you should I have to do it for another one every once in a while.

I have a question, did you ever or do you now work? Have you ever forgotten your lunch or lunch money? You can go to the ATM, you can go out, you can get a co worker to bring you something. Some people here are so high and mighty with what they think kids should and shouldn't do, that they forget everyone is human and adults have options that kids don't.

I work full time, I keep a stash of stuff here in my desk and honestly, I can't tell you the last time I forgot my lunch. I work in the boonies, running to the ATM or grabbing a bite is not an option. If I don't bring it, then I would go hungry, therefore I have snacks in my desk and always pack a lunch. It's just part of my routine.

It's not about the food its about thinking one is above the rules.
We are talking about a 12 year old here. I have and will continue to do all sorts of things for my kids, who are you to know?

I'm arguing 2 points - one that a 12 year old would "starve" in 6-7 hours, the second that a parent thinks they are above the rules.

That's it, end of story. This has nothing to do with helping others, it has nothing to do with what I do as a parent.

I'm not high and mighty at all, its rude IMO for you to say I am. You don't know me, you have no idea what I am like, why feel sorry for my kids? That's a bit uncalled for don't you think?

Maybe I feel sorry for all of your kids because you are turning them into wussified babies who cannot cope with consequences, who cannot be held accountable for their actions and who need Mommy to rescue them every time they forget something. Maybe, I wonder at the judgement of a parent who would allow their child to go out the door without eating something even if its only something small to give their bodies some fuel to start their day. Even if this were true, I would never ever say I feel sorry for your kids, wow, that's just rude.

Why do you think the school put these rules into place in the first place? My guess would be because of the gazillion parents who bring all the stuff their little darlings forgot. Again, this is based on middle schoolers. I am proud of the fact that my 13 year old middle schooler can handle herself, has good organization skills and if she were to forget her lunch is resourceful enough to figure something out or worst case, wait til she gets home to eat.

 

[mamacatnv]

As for going against school rules to drop something off, I wouldn't do that unless it was a matter of life and death (lunch doesn't fall in this category). If I felt a rule was unreasonable I'd do what I could to have it changed but I wouldn't expect the school to overlook the rule for my child just because I didn't think it was fair.

Exactly. If I didn't like a rule there are proper channels to address it. Confronting the school secretary/gate keeper IMO is not how to go about it.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Didn't you carry a backpack to class when you were in school? Plenty of kids did back in the stone ages when I was in middle/high school.

Yeah, I think this is a stupid rule too.

Back in the actual stone ages, we chiseled everything into, well, stone and left it in tho classroom. If you mean mid-20th century stone ages - no. No backpacks or bookbags. You carried your books in your arms!

What if your child had a medical issue that meant that no food for the day would make them sick - for instance low blood sugar, diabetes, etc.

If my kid didn't have her lunch she would starve (food allergies) and it wouldn't do a damn thing to help her remember it next time (memory deficient).

In these and similar situations, it's the parents' responsibility to ensure that the child has whatever's needed, to avoid both health issues and school rule violations.

 

[mhsjax]

I work full time, I keep a stash of stuff here in my desk and honestly, I can't tell you the last time I forgot my lunch. I work in the boonies, running to the ATM or grabbing a bite is not an option. If I don't bring it, then I would go hungry, therefore I have snacks in my desk and always pack a lunch. It's just part of my routine.

It's not about the food its about thinking one is above the rules.
We are talking about a 12 year old here. I have and will continue to do all sorts of things for my kids, who are you to know?

I'm arguing 2 points - one that a 12 year old would "starve" in 6-7 hours, the second that a parent thinks they are above the rules.

That's it, end of story. This has nothing to do with helping others, it has nothing to do with what I do as a parent.

I'm not high and mighty at all, its rude IMO for you to say I am. You don't know me, you have no idea what I am like, why feel sorry for my kids? That's a bit uncalled for don't you think?

Maybe I feel sorry for all of your kids because you are turning them into wussified babies who cannot cope with consequences, who cannot be held accountable for their actions and who need Mommy to rescue them every time they forget something. Maybe, I wonder at the judgement of a parent who would allow their child to go out the door without eating something even if its only something small to give their bodies some fuel to start their day. Even if this were true, I would never ever say I feel sorry for your kids, wow, that's just rude.

Why do you think the school put these rules into place in the first place? My guess would be because of the gazillion parents who bring all the stuff their little darlings forgot. Again, this is based on middle schoolers. I am proud of the fact that my 13 year old middle schooler can handle herself, has good organization skills and if she were to forget her lunch is resourceful enough to figure something out or worst case, wait til she gets home to eat.

You know what, it isn't worth my time. Then again our school seems to have the brains that so many schools here lack, they don't care if you bring in lunch.

PS, my middle schooler has never forgotten hers either. She is quite self sufficient. but my opinion still stands.

 

[Pembo]

I didn't think any schools allowed kids to carry backpacks in school anymore?! After Columbine... None of our schools in this area allow it.

In my school, if a kid forgets his lunch they can get a lunch for free from the cafeteria. I'm not sure how many times that happens though?! I'm sure there is a limit. No child would be forced to go hungry.

As for clear bottles, no rule here but I'd bet it's not just alcohol they are trying to prevent but pop and colored drinks. If water spills, it will dry. If a lot of other things spill, they stain and/or are sticky.

For all of these rules, there is a story behind it. Spend the day in the secretary's office and you'll understand the no drop off rule. For all of those who only have to do it occasionally, I think you'd be surprised at the large number of parents who are at the school everyday to drop off something to their child.

I'm often amazed at what goes on "behind the scenes" with parents at school. Granted it's only a few but one bad apple does ruin the whole bunch.

This all makes me think of the foot dr! I just took my son for a little toenail surgery. The doc prescribed drops to put on the toe. He then explained that the drops are routinely used for the ear. He had a patient, who had foot surgery, that used the toe drops in their ear!! because the box said they were for the ear. The doc told us that now he tells ALL his patients to use them on the toe not the ear. Like I said, it only takes one....

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

My opinion (and yes, this is only an opinion) is that a school has no right to tell you you can't have access to your children during the day and that is in a way what they are doing by telling you that you can't bring lunch to your child. Admittedly, that opinion may be strongly influenced by having gone to small private schools and not having rules like these when I was growing up.

 

[HonnyDipp]

The one crazy rule my DD16 has at her high school is:

"Any girl wearing a bra as a blouse or shirt will be sent home"

 

[mamacatnv]

No, she wouldn't be dead....but she might have friggin' lousy school day where she doesn't learn much the second half of the day.

People forget things....there's none of these BOGUS requirements for adults....I forget something...I run out and pick it up on my lunch hour. Or one of my co-workers...even my boss! lend it to me.

My DD deals with extreme anxiety, she would much rather go hungry than forget an assignment. She would spend half the day puking over the issue but if the school said no drop then I would not drop. I might challenge the rule in the proper setting. I think its interesting that everyone has their own threshold.

DD's school does not have such strict rules and I don't think in the 4 years she has been there I have ever taken her a forgotten item but I've seen lots of parents do it.

 

[SandrA9810]

I went to one high school with no backpacks, but it was a tiny private school (50 kids total in my grade). It wasn't a big deal to go to the lockers between class. Sometimes I'd grab two subjects to avoid the hassle of every one at the lockers. They were big enough to hold the books and a bags. But at my previous schools, they were tiny little cubes... No way would that work out, plus the size of the school didn't work well. It was too big.

Lets look at the more logical sense for clear bottles, they want water in them. Not sports drinks or soda. If your kid bikes to school and needs a gatorade at the end of the ride, then he can put that bottle in his locker till the end of the day.
When I worked for Disney, it was the same thing, they distributed clear bottles and that was the only thing acceptable. Granted we had little black neoprene holders, so non water drinks just didn't get filled to the top.

But the more obvious reason for a clear rule is to make sure kids are drinking water and not soda.

Clear/mesh backpacks are insane. Mostly because they're not strong enough to hold up to school books. Plus the notebooks for each class.

I can deal with no bags during class, but let them have something strong enough to carry books in, to and from school.

One school, public, that I went to didn't allow shorts. I never really knew the rule as I didn't start there till a month into the school year. And I always wore pants to school. But apparently skirts were ok, so girls still looked like hoochies.

 

[Talking Hands]

The school I work at has no lockers so students do carry back packs but they usually are not full. Just pen, pencil and notebook and their electronics. During tests they are required to put them at the front of the room. No restrictions on water bottles at all. Dress code yes. Weapons of any kind banned. Cell phones must be off and put away.

Most classrooms have class sets of books.

 

[mhsjax]

The one crazy rule my DD16 has at her high school is:

"Any girl wearing a bra as a blouse or shirt will be sent home"

The nerve of those people

 

[kaytieeldr]

That isn't the issue -- it's the issue that the rules are overbroad and the baby is being thrown out with the bathwater.

Banning colored "water bottles" as a way to interdict alcohol is a ridiculous exercise in beating around the bush. Simply ban the consumption of alcohol on school premises. If the problem is alcohol then address the actual problem.

Don't want guns and knives? Then ban guns and knives, not handbags.

Do you really think the schools DON'T already have those rules? No alcohol, no drugs, no weapons would seem to be the first three rules any school district would set... just in case there was a student somewhere who thought any of those items might be acceptable at school .

The ban on potential containers is just a back-up, directed at those students who think they're oh-so-smart and can hide a banned item from school officials.

 

[jrmasm]

So, if I'm getting your point - you don't think there should be any rules that kids might try to find a way around?

Yep, that's exactly my point.

That isn't the issue -- it's the issue that the rules are overbroad and the baby is being thrown out with the bathwater.

Banning colored "water bottles" as a way to interdict alcohol is a ridiculous exercise in beating around the bush. Simply ban the consumption of alcohol on school premises. If the problem is alcohol then address the actual problem.

Don't want guns and knives? Then ban guns and knives, not handbags.

If a school wants to ban backpacks in the halls because people are getting bopped with them in crowded hallways, then that makes a certain amount of sense, but can be overcome by saying that bookbags cannot be carried on the back during passing times. Banning them because you MIGHT be able to put a hip-flask or a handgun in it is overkill.

The reason that I hate overbroad rules that are supposed to serve a sort of "dragnet" role is that they actually encourage people to ignore rules. Rules need to have a reasonable and narrow focus in order to have a decent chance at being obeyed by the majority. Make them too broad and they won't be respected.

And every year, there are new variations on the old rules. It just gets really silly.

yes I carred a backpack...and it went into my locker and i went to my locker before each class and get the books I needed for that class.

I went to school in the 80's people carried backpacks to class. Heck, at our high local high school, you can still carry backpacks to class.

Back in the actual stone ages, we chiseled everything into, well, stone and left it in tho classroom. If you mean mid-20th century stone ages - no. No backpacks or bookbags. You carried your books in your arms!

I went to school during a different stone age!

The one crazy rule my DD16 has at her high school is:

"Any girl wearing a bra as a blouse or shirt will be sent home"

Well I guess that is a rule I can support.

 

[DebIreland]

I know personally I don't know of any 12 year old that would in the words of a few posters "starve". My DD's day is 6.5 hours, she generally eats breakfast on the way as its a 20 minute drive. If she forgot her lunch I can assure you she would not be dead at 2:30 when I arrive to pick her up.

Why do you think the school put these rules into place in the first place? My guess would be because of the gazillion parents who bring all the stuff their little darlings forgot.

Precisely!

Wow! I must be a selfish cow! Years ago when my boys were very young then yes, maybe twice over the years I brought their lunch in to the school (it was allowed) but that hasn't happened since they were 7 or 8 or so. At that age I still felt it was my job to make sure they had their lunch with them so yes I'd drop it off (as I say rarely). I would apologise profusely to the school secretary and I would insist that she pass the lunch on in her time when it was convenient.

If my 17 or 14 year old forgot their lunch now, not only would they go hungry, they'd get a telling off from me and their Dad. I'm a demon. lol! It has taken quite a bit of work to 'train' my 14 year old to remember all his stuff. He can be very unfocused and when he started secondary school he regularly forgot books, pens, folders, etc. But the work has paid off. He doesn't forget things anymore. If I made a habit of dropping things off at his school, oh my God, he'd forget 10 things a day. It is part of my job as his Mom to train him to focus and to look after his stuff and plan ahead.

My opinion (and yes, this is only an opinion) is that a school has no right to tell you you can't have access to your children during the day and that is in a way what they are doing by telling you that you can't bring lunch to your child.

I can't begin to imagine the chaos of allowing parents unlimited access to their kids during the day. You do realise you'd have parents of snowflakes coming in for a chat, for a hug, to bring a little treat, to check their kid's work etc. Those parents exist. Teachers have it hard enough without those constant interruptions. It's important for the welfare of all the kids that schools minimize interruptions.

 

[disykat]

That isn't the issue -- it's the issue that the rules are overbroad and the baby is being thrown out with the bathwater.

Banning colored "water bottles" as a way to interdict alcohol is a ridiculous exercise in beating around the bush. Simply ban the consumption of alcohol on school premises. If the problem is alcohol then address the actual problem.

Don't want guns and knives? Then ban guns and knives, not handbags.

If a school wants to ban backpacks in the halls because people are getting bopped with them in crowded hallways, then that makes a certain amount of sense, but can be overcome by saying that bookbags cannot be carried on the back during passing times. Banning them because you MIGHT be able to put a hip-flask or a handgun in it is overkill.

The reason that I hate overbroad rules that are supposed to serve a sort of "dragnet" role is that they actually encourage people to ignore rules. Rules need to have a reasonable and narrow focus in order to have a decent chance at being obeyed by the majority. Make them too broad and they won't be respected.

Do you really think the schools DON'T already have those rules? No alcohol, no drugs, no weapons would seem to be the first three rules any school district would set... just in case there was a student somewhere who thought any of those items might be acceptable at school .

The ban on potential containers is just a back-up, directed at those students who think they're oh-so-smart and can hide a banned item from school officials.

I was going to say the same thing. No alcohol, no drugs, no weapons on school property is actually a rule at every school - by state and federal laws.

 

[Feckless]

Clear or mesh backpacks to reveal weapons? Clear water bottles to reduce the chances of drinking in class? Holy moly. I think I will stay in my little Canadian city! LOL

In our kids' school, we have pretty much open access to the kids and can drop off anything we want to during the day. We can also walk our kids to class if we want to, which is really nice. We have been able to get to know the other parents, and we have a close relationship and watch out for each other's kids.

However, if there was a rule that I disagreed with, I would work to change it rather than think I was above it. We have to have respect for the administrators and teachers, and if we think that there is some kind of a stupid rule, do what I have done and join whatever your version of school council is and change it from within!