Your child's school rules: the stupid, weird, or just plain annoying

[kimj88]

Over the last few years, my son's school, both elem and middle, are real crazy about restroom breaks. It annoys me. Like they are only allowed to go at certain times and if they exceed that then they cannot go for the rest of the school year, WTH! Also, in middle school, they have to take their entire Agenda book with them to the restroom and then bring it back and have it signed each time. I could see if certain students are taking advantage, but to make the whole population of the school go through all these hoops is nuts.

 

[DopeyDame]

I didn't mean that it was annoying that they couldn't be late, what I said was that the note couldn't say the real reason they were late. It had to say certain reasons that weren't logical or else it was an "unexcused" lateness.

Well of course "I over slept" would be an unexcused tardy. Why in the world wouldn't it be?
My son has three unexcused tardies this year - it happens.
But I would never think to lie about it so that he could avoid the consequence! (Which really isn't that big of a consequence anyway, the occasional unexcused tardy isn't going to keep a kid out of college)

 

[DopeyDame]

Oh, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that at all. It's a shame parents are such an imposition to some who chose education as their field. You haven't opened my eyes to anything I didn't suspect already.

If me coming to have lunch with my child on their birthday in grade school gets me a "helicopter parent" label, then so be it. Trust me, I didn't go eat in the cafeteria, only to watch kids pour milk on their tray and blow it out their nose for MY benefit. But if it helped my child enjoy their birthday and feel special on their birthday, it was worth it.

LOL on "catering to whims". Assume much?

You went to school on your kid's birthday? Is that a thing at your school? I have never ever heard of that. My kids LOVE going to school on their birthday and having cupcakes and having their name announced and having the class sing happy birthday. I can't imagine that having parents there would make it more fun or special.

 

[kamik86]

HOnestly the posts here sometimes make schools sound like prisons. Glad I don't have to deal with them anymore.

Sometimes I have forgotten things at work. Sometimes coworkers have as well. Its quite common for us to run home during the day to get that item or have a spouse drop it off tous (although we have to go up to the parking lot unless said spouse also works here and can badge in).

So why is it such a problem when kids do it? I think it is silly when kids have harsher consequences to things then most adults do.

If you forgot to bring lunch to work would you have to go hungry all day?
If your car had issues on the way to work would you get in trouble for being late (assuming this happens once or twice a year and not once or twice a week)? Most people I know wouldn't even my husband that does have a specific start time (my job wouldn't even notice if I got in less then an hour late).

 

[mom2rtk]

You went to school on your kid's birthday? Is that a thing at your school? I have never ever heard of that. My kids LOVE going to school on their birthday and having cupcakes and having their name announced and having the class sing happy birthday. I can't imagine that having parents there would make it more fun or special.

Just in the younger grade school years, and only if they wanted me to. Maybe just K and 1st.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I'm a firm believer that kids need more freedoms, not more rules. Basic stuff to keep them safe, like no weapons allowed? Sure, sounds good. No backpacks because someone might trip? Really? That's just a bit over the top. How are we to expect these kids to grow into productive adults if they can't even be relied upon to watch where they're walking?

 

[Lindaland]

Not really a "policy" but a curriculum issue. When my DD was in high school, she was only required to take math through 10th grade, but had to take history all the way through 12th grade!! What the heck is that?? Math & science are way more important than history.

 

[mjkacmom]

HOnestly the posts here sometimes make schools sound like prisons. Glad I don't have to deal with them anymore.

Sometimes I have forgotten things at work. Sometimes coworkers have as well. Its quite common for us to run home during the day to get that item or have a spouse drop it off tous (although we have to go up to the parking lot unless said spouse also works here and can badge in).

So why is it such a problem when kids do it? I think it is silly when kids have harsher consequences to things then most adults do.

If you forgot to bring lunch to work would you have to go hungry all day?
If your car had issues on the way to work would you get in trouble for being late (assuming this happens once or twice a year and not once or twice a week)? Most people I know wouldn't even my husband that does have a specific start time (my job wouldn't even notice if I got in less then an hour late).

Adults go to work, to work. Kids go to school to learn, and not just academics. God forbid kids today get disappointed, or frustrated. If a kid forgets homework, his grade goes down. Lunch? Might have to eat something that isn't a favorite. Umbrella? Might get wet.

Kids are not adults, and shouldn't be treated as adults.

 

[kamik86]

Adults go to work, to work. Kids go to school to learn, and not just academics. God forbid kids today get disappointed, or frustrated. If a kid forgets homework, his grade goes down. Lunch? Might have to eat something that isn't a favorite. Umbrella? Might get wet.

Kids are not adults, and shouldn't be treated as adults.

The lunch discussion started with someone whose school would not feed kids at all if they forgot their money. Not something that wasn't a favorite but no food at all.

Forgotten homework if brought by a parent was still completed. Which is really the goal here.

However forgetting gym clothes, not realizing that you would need extra clothes if something happened and yours got soaked (you fell in the rain for example), these types of things is ridiculous.

Kid's shouldn't be treated like adults. Adults should understand that kids will forget things, that they are still LEARNING to be responsible, that they are still learning to have contingency plans. So the consequences should be less not more.

I could forget my work laptop and have less consequences then the posters kids here have for forgetting a piece of paper.

 

[mjkacmom]

The lunch discussion started with someone whose school would not feed kids at all if they forgot their money. Not something that wasn't a favorite but no food at all.

Forgotten homework if brought by a parent was still completed. Which is really the goal here.

However forgetting gym clothes, not realizing that you would need extra clothes if something happened and yours got soaked (you fell in the rain for example), these types of things is ridiculous.

Kid's shouldn't be treated like adults. Adults should understand that kids will forget things, that they are still LEARNING to be responsible, that they are still learning to have contingency plans. So the consequences should be less not more.

I could forget my work laptop and have less consequences then the posters kids here have for forgetting a piece of paper.

Completely disagree. I think facing the consequences of forgetting to bring the assignment teaches more than completing the assignment. I had 5 kids go through elementary school, and I learned that if I brought things to school, the behavior continued. However, once I stopped, it was amazing how quickly they started remembering everything.

Once they got to high school, I would bring items in, because by that point, it was such a rare thing. And there is a big difference between forgetting gym clothes, and having to sit out, than having to change due to an unfortunate accident. Heck, when my kids started elementary, they sat out of a lot of gym classes because they forgot to wear sneakers.

 

[DopeyDame]

The lunch discussion started with someone whose school would not feed kids at all if they forgot their money. Not something that wasn't a favorite but no food at all.

Forgotten homework if brought by a parent was still completed. Which is really the goal here.

However forgetting gym clothes, not realizing that you would need extra clothes if something happened and yours got soaked (you fell in the rain for example), these types of things is ridiculous.

Kid's shouldn't be treated like adults. Adults should understand that kids will forget things, that they are still LEARNING to be responsible, that they are still learning to have contingency plans. So the consequences should be less not more.

I could forget my work laptop and have less consequences then the posters kids here have for forgetting a piece of paper.

I'm very much on the fence about bringing stuff to school and think it probably really boils down to the specific circumstances. BUT... how exactly are kids going to learn all these things if they never experience consequences? Because totally bailing your kid out every time they forget something seems to be teaching them that remembering and being organized isn't really all that important - someone else will deal with it for you.

And schools really are there to teach more than just math and PE. Yes, doing your homework is good. But it's step one. Schools also are trying to teach the follow-on steps that include putting your homework back in your backpack when it's finished, bringing your backpack to school, handing it in, etc., etc. (Heck, lots of kids on IEPs have these as explicit goals! That's how important they are to what a school is trying to teach) So no, kids shouldn't be treated like adults. It's totally legit for kids to have more consequences for some things than adults.

I'm also fascinated by all these posters whose spouses will bring them stuff at work. When I forget my laptop (which I've done) my DH isn't about to run and bring it to me - he's at work dealing with his own stuff! I even ended up having to take some vacation time once which is a HUGE consequence in my life.

A zero on an assignment or needing to sit out of gym class one day seem like pretty reasonable and minor consequences that help drive home the importance of organization, responsibility, and a ton of other soft skills that are really important for functioning out "in the real world"

 

[Kellykins1218]

You went to school on your kid's birthday? Is that a thing at your school? I have never ever heard of that. My kids LOVE going to school on their birthday and having cupcakes and having their name announced and having the class sing happy birthday. I can't imagine that having parents there would make it more fun or special.

Our old district used to encourage parents to come in and share lunch for their child's birthday. If they couldn't make it on the actual day, they could come in another time. The kids that didn't have someone got to eat lunch with the school resource officer which they LOVED.

 

[BigAlsGal]

My kids have to pass a 40 question test to advance to 4th grade! That's the whole state of Indiana. Not just their rule.

 

[VandVsmama]

I agree with DopeyDame. In my opinion, one important part of growing up (and yes, they are children, but growing up is a gradual process and it doesn't happen overnight) is learning about the consequences of one's choices/behavior. ODD (4th grade) had a big history assignment due last month. The teacher gave them an opportunity to turn it in over 3 days and reminded them each day to turn it in. Well, ODD didn't turn it in. Nor did she write down the assignment due date in her daily school journal/planner thingy). ODD got lucky because the teacher let her turn it in really late for half credit, but it was a big learning experience for her because she knows that in middle school, if you miss turning in an assignment, you have 1 day to turn it in for partial credit and then it's a 0. No exceptions other than if you were out sick or something like that.

There have been times when she's forgotten a particular subject's notebook at home. I don't race home to get it for her and then drop it off at school. She has had to suck it up a couple of times when that's happened and make do during that particular subject and bring the notebook back to school the next day.

A friend of mine disenrolled her kids from our school because she thought that a couple of the rules were ridiculous, such as:
1. no parent volunteers in the classroom - the school's philosophy is that it's too distracting when there's a revolving door of parents in & out of the classroom all day long
2. in the older elementary grades, if you're late to class, then you have to sit out that period in the front office and wait for the passing period to go to your next class. Student has to go to student hours w/the teacher after school or talk to teacher during lunch, etc., in order to get the missed assignment(s).

In my friend's case, though, she was late dropping her kids off at school every. single. day. And when I say late, I'm not talking by 1-2 minutes, we're talking by 10-15 minutes and they only live 15 min from the school, whereas for our family, it's a 35-40 min drive. Yet somehow we managed to drop our kids off on time every day, but we live much farther away.

 

[DawnM]

I thought of one.

At my son's school they have to have a collared shirt 3 days per week (the other two days are called jeans days and they can wear Jeans and a school logo shirt).

The boys must tuck in their shirts and wear a belt. The girls can have an untucked shirt, and get away with wearing jeans type denim because they can cover up the 5 pocket part. The boys can't. They must wear khakis and cannot be 5 pocket.

 

[Poohforyou]

Our district really doesn't have any rules that I find ridiculous. My dd is now a junior so we're almost done. I've brought her things she's forgotten if I was able. I remember doing it once in elementary school and maybe twice in hs. In middle school her team had a monthly lunch that parents could come to. I went once and bought dd a hoagie. The big draw was the good food parents would being.

 

[kamik86]

Completely disagree. I think facing the consequences of forgetting to bring the assignment teaches more than completing the assignment. I had 5 kids go through elementary school, and I learned that if I brought things to school, the behavior continued. However, once I stopped, it was amazing how quickly they started remembering everything.

Once they got to high school, I would bring items in, because by that point, it was such a rare thing. And there is a big difference between forgetting gym clothes, and having to sit out, than having to change due to an unfortunate accident. Heck, when my kids started elementary, they sat out of a lot of gym classes because they forgot to wear sneakers.

Ok I was making the assumption that the student in question didn't do this often... because as a parent you could still choose to let your child take the consequence but just not bringing in said item.

If I had done this all the time my parents wouldn't have brought me stuff either. HOwever when I got confused about which shops in our rotation schedule needed steal toed boots (the description wasn't great, I wasn't the only one in that block that didn't realize culinary required them) my Dad brought them instead of making me spend all day sitting in in-school detention. She also did homework once when I grabbed the wrong notebook and once when the disk I saved it to turned out to be corrupt but it was still on my home computer. That was for all of middle and high school. Three times total.

I had a few more in elementary school but mom worked in the school library for a few of those years so that was just much more convenient. Sometimes she would bring my projects to school when she came in just so I didn't have to take them on the bus.

 

[aprilgail]

Our elementary students have to walk through the halls with their index fingers against their lips to remind themselves not to talk. It's very weird. They also have silent lunch (not all the time) where they're not allowed to talk..

Walking in the halls with their finger against their lips is crazy!

Flame suit on



Also why do some parents feel the need to come and eat lunch with your child. Let go of the apron strings!

I always find that odd that parents go into the school to have lunch with their kids-I can see going up and signing them out for the lunch period but to go in the school and sit in the cafeteria with all the other kids there is really odd to me and I am glad our schools do not allow that!

Over the last few years, my son's school, both elem and middle, are real crazy about restroom breaks. It annoys me. Like they are only allowed to go at certain times and if they exceed that then they cannot go for the rest of the school year, WTH! Also, in middle school, they have to take their entire Agenda book with them to the restroom and then bring it back and have it signed each time. I could see if certain students are taking advantage, but to make the whole population of the school go through all these hoops is nuts.

I let a lot of things fly and try to pick my battles with the school but that is one that I would fight to the end. There is NO way they are telling my child she can't use the bathroom if she has to. I had that fight when she was in 1st grade- twice they told her she couldn't go and twice she wet her pants- the first time I let it go but the second time I was up at the school to see the principal! I even told him that I told her that if they tell her no and she really has to go she is to walk out and use the bathroom and go right to his office and he can call me if he wants to.

You went to school on your kid's birthday? Is that a thing at your school? I have never ever heard of that. My kids LOVE going to school on their birthday and having cupcakes and having their name announced and having the class sing happy birthday. I can't imagine that having parents there would make it more fun or special.

Our schools got rid of that too- now if your birthday is in that month then they all "celebrate" together the first of the month- they can give out pencils to the other kids, stickers etc but no food! Even for class parties it is now water and a piece of fruit, can't give the kids anything unhealthy-it really stinks now.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Flame suit on

As someone who works in a school let me tell you how annoying it is to have parents coming in all morning with forgotten lunches, projects, gym clothes, sport clothes, homework etc. We are administrative assistants not drlivery people

Every year our principal gives a speech trying to discourage parents from dropping off forgotten articles. Trying to teach kids personal responsibility parents of course ignore this for their special child

Also why do some parents feel the need to come and eat lunch with your child. Let go of the apron strings!

Well, that's rude. I've eaten with my children several times, at their request. They actually enjoy spending time with me, go figure.

 

[Liberty Belle]

You went to school on your kid's birthday? Is that a thing at your school? I have never ever heard of that. My kids LOVE going to school on their birthday and having cupcakes and having their name announced and having the class sing happy birthday. I can't imagine that having parents there would make it more fun or special.

I'm not the person you quoted, but I'll chime in and say here some do and some do not. I really don't care if other parents do, as long as my child wants me to and it is allowed. Individualism rocks!