young kids (under 10) and R movies...

[Anjelica]

My girlfriends and I went to see Sex in the City at the movies when it came out. I remember a mother had brought her 9-10 year old daughter to see it. She kept covering up the girls eyes when there were "questionable" things shown. That movie is NOT appropriate for many girls, even young teens, let along a 9-10 year old.

Most new PG rated films I let my 6.5 year old daughter see and even a few PG-13 films. For example she was allowed to watch the original Transformers with us at home but not the second Transformers as it was a little to dark for her age - keep in mind this is my opinion.

I know when I watch older films (say from the 70's, 80's) that are rated PG I think that in today's world they probably would be rated more like PG-13.

I LOVE the movie Hangover and I think that is even in-appropriate for a high schooler.

 

[chisnpeke]

The Hangover might be appropriate when you are 14. NO WAY when you are that young! It doesn't matter that they will be exposed to that kind of stuff later in life, it's about keeping them kids when they should be kids!!!

 

[Calliaz]

... but my ds also likes scary and action movies, most of which are PG-13 or R. GI Joe, X-men, etc are movies he likes to watch. My son is a huge WWE fan and watches all the shows and they probably have more violence or language than a lot of PG-13 movies.

But, is it right to allow them to watch those movies just because they like them? Should I allow my son to only eat candy because that's what he likes?

I believe that people make the parenting choices that are right for them, but I also think that sometimes a little self-reflection on those choices is a good thing. I also believe that for the general population it is not good for an 8 or 9 year old to watch Final Destination.

"Literally thousands of studies since the 1950s have asked whether there is a link between exposure to media violence and violent behavior. All but 18 have answered, "Yes." The evidence from the research is overwhelming. According to the AAP, "Extensive research evidence indicates that media violence can contribute to aggressive behavior, desensitization to violence, nightmares, and fear of being harmed."

For those that say "the good guys win." It still desenstizes children to violence and causes them to be less likely to help others when they are in real pain. Just because your husband/wife/brother/self turned out ok, does not mean that for the average person it does not have an effect. That's why there are scientific studies and we don't just take Joe Smith's word for it that it's ok.

http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/tv.htm

 

[Crystal0608]

But, is it right to allow them to watch those movies just because they like them? Should I allow my son to only eat candy because that's what he likes?

I believe that people make the parenting choices that are right for them, but I also think that sometimes a little self-reflection on those choices is a good thing. I also believe that for the general population it is not good for an 8 or 9 year old to watch Final Destination.

.....

Well, yes I do let them watch what they like mostly, just posting my honest opinion. Scratch that, I never let them watch Barney or Telletubbies, lol. I do let my kids eat candy on occasion while watching movies, so I guess both? Is it right? To me it is, but it can differ from parent to parent as does everything else. As for Final Destination, it was fine for my kids, used it as an example as an R type movie I think is ok.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

But, is it right to allow them to watch those movies just because they like them? Should I allow my son to only eat candy because that's what he likes?

I believe that people make the parenting choices that are right for them, but I also think that sometimes a little self-reflection on those choices is a good thing. I also believe that for the general population it is not good for an 8 or 9 year old to watch Final Destination.

"Literally thousands of studies since the 1950s have asked whether there is a link between exposure to media violence and violent behavior. All but 18 have answered, "Yes." The evidence from the research is overwhelming. According to the AAP, "Extensive research evidence indicates that media violence can contribute to aggressive behavior, desensitization to violence, nightmares, and fear of being harmed."

For those that say "the good guys win." It still desenstizes children to violence and causes them to be less likely to help others when they are in real pain. Just because your husband/wife/brother/self turned out ok, does not mean that for the average person it does not have an effect. That's why there are scientific studies and we don't just take Joe Smith's word for it that it's ok.

http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/tv.htm

I don't know where you got that from. There are studies that will tell you anything so I don't buy it. But hey, my kids have toy guns, swords and lightsabers. What do I know?

 

[It's A Happy Day]

I do let my kids (8 & 9) watch PG-13 and R rated movies unless they have nudity/sex or lots of alcohol/drugs type of stuff. The cussing and violence part doesn't bother me as much. I usually don't look at the rating, its usually based off previews if I think the kids could watch it. I would not let them watch Hangover, though I thought it was hilarious. The most recent R rated movie they've watched was Final Destination (the newest one) and they loved it. DD likes mostly Disneyish and preteen movies, but my ds also likes scary and action movies, most of which are PG-13 or R. GI Joe, X-men, etc are movies he likes to watch. My son is a huge WWE fan and watches all the shows and they probably have more violence or language than a lot of PG-13 movies.

Well, yes I do let them watch what they like mostly, just posting my honest opinion. Scratch that, I never let them watch Barney or Telletubbies, lol. I do let my kids eat candy on occasion while watching movies, so I guess both? Is it right? To me it is, but it can differ from parent to parent as does everything else. As for Final Destination, it was fine for my kids, used it as an example as an R type movie I think is ok.

You sound alot like me I would say that in our house DH is more lenient with what the kids watch over what I believe is "age appropriate" but we both agree on the nudity/sex issue in movies, just not the violence level That being said DH wouldn't let them watch something he knows I'd be opposed to w/o talking it out 1st. I don't think it's the letting the watch what they want that is the problem but the not discussing what is going on in those movies ~ both of our children KNOW that it is make believe, that realistically those things could not happen/a person wouldn't live, the good guy doesn't always win, etc. Heck, look at some of the "kids' movies these days......BOTH kids went around for weeks singing ~ BOW-chicka-wow-wow just because of the Chipmunks movie!!! I can just imagine what some strangers thought by the expressions on their face when they heard my kids do that

 

[wvjules]

I don't know if I am 'over protective' or not when it comes to my kids and movies I let them watch and go to. I was really mad today. I work for 10 hours a week at a school in the library. I was standing next to these 3 girls who are 8 and 9 years old and they were talking about watching "the Hangover" and how they thought it was soooooo awesome. These girls are (in my opinion) WAYYYYYYYY too young to watch this movie. It shows by their actions- pretending to be drunk/ "wasted and stoned" as they called it. They kept walking around and bumping into things and falling over...one said she couldn't believe how trashed she got and was hoping she didn't get an std last night (I know, not from the movie, but still?!?!?!)... The funny thing is, that I know two of their parents. These parents seem to be good parents, and one even said "oh, when she watches those things, she knows not to repeat what is said" I almost fell over from laughter...she expects her kid (8 years old) to know better??? REALLY???? DUMB parent.

This isn't the first movie I'm surprized that parents let these young kids watch. Our neighbors bring their 6 year old to anything he wants to see and this little boy can no longer come to our house anymore, because of the horrid language and 'imagination' he has...Last time he was here he told my girls "I'm the big daddy and I'm going to **** you silly and you're going to scream while I do it." I heard him and brought him home immediately!!! When I told his mom what he said, she told him to go to his room. Then, once he was gone- she 'laughed' it off and said "oh, boys will be boys and he wanted to go to that movie"...I told her he was not allowed in our yard anymore, because this was not the first time he chose to have bad language and said bad things while he was over. This kid is in TONS of trouble at school and I'm sure 1/2 of the problems would have been solved by him not going to movies with TONS of swearing and TONS of violence (he told a kid at school he was going to "pop him in the ***" because he saw how to do it in a movie and said he knew how to use a gun now...)

I think that parents who allow their young children to see these types of movies are BAD PARENTS!!! What do they expect that their kids will learn from these movies? Every parent should be SMART ENOUGH to know that if their kid watches these movies, they're going to think it's 'Cool' to act that way and say those bad words (Yeah, some parents say- oh, my kid wouldn't) but Yeah, that's what I've heard before- then I see these kids in school when their parents aren't around...

OK, I'm done with my vent. Stupid parents. Also, maybe some parents will realize that kids this young WILL repeat things they see on TV and in the movies...no matter what the parent thinks, your kids are usually different when they aren't around you (most of them are, not ALL of them)

Watching R rated movies seems to be the least of their problem. Worried about getting an STD at 8!?!?!?!?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You sound alot like me I would say that in our house DH is more lenient with what the kids watch over what I believe is "age appropriate" but we both agree on the nudity/sex issue in movies, just not the violence level That being said DH wouldn't let them watch something he knows I'd be opposed to w/o talking it out 1st. I don't think it's the letting the watch what they want that is the problem but the not discussing what is going on in those movies ~ both of our children KNOW that it is make believe, that realistically those things could not happen/a person wouldn't live, the good guy doesn't always win, etc. Heck, look at some of the "kids' movies these days......BOTH kids went around for weeks singing ~ BOW-chicka-wow-wow just because of the Chipmunks movie!!! I can just imagine what some strangers thought by the expressions on their face when they heard my kids do that [/QUOTE]
Ours too!

 

[Tink888]

"Literally thousands of studies since the 1950s have asked whether there is a link between exposure to media violence and violent behavior. All but 18 have answered, "Yes." The evidence from the research is overwhelming. According to the AAP, "Extensive research evidence indicates that media violence can contribute to aggressive behavior, desensitization to violence, nightmares, and fear of being harmed."

For those that say "the good guys win." It still desenstizes children to violence and causes them to be less likely to help others when they are in real pain. Just because your husband/wife/brother/self turned out ok, does not mean that for the average person it does not have an effect. That's why there are scientific studies and we don't just take Joe Smith's word for it that it's ok.

http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/tv.htm

Sure, those studies and their results may exist, I just personally do not put much stock in them.

I'd be curious to know if in any of the studies, exposure to news programs was included, because IMHO, in a lot of ways, the nightly news can be even more harmful to children in terms of desensitization to violence, nightmares, and fear of being harmed. Even more so than video games and movies because the things they see on the the news ARE reality based.

JMO but I believe that tendencies toward aggressive behaviors are already present in a person. Those with them may be more inclined to gravitate toward violence in media but the propensity for aggression existed before the exposure to the media.

 

[sbell111]

I couldn't imagine getting angry because some other parent allowed their child to see an R rated movie.

The kid acted inappropriately around your kid and now can't hang out with them. Case closed. Move along.

 

[ksumn1]

DH is very lenient about what the girls watch. He's always watching something on the Scyfy cahannel, or horror movies. He claims he doesn't let them watch the bad parts because he flips the channel But they still see enough that they shouldn't. I mean, horror movies give ME nightmares!! So now if he's watching some of 'his' shows or movies he has to watch them in our room.

That being said, my DD's have watched Jeff Dunham before. And yes, it is inappropriate. My sister let them watch it at my Mom's house (she has the DVD's) and my DD's came home talking about it. My 11 year old didn't say much about it, but my DD6 found the parts about women's breasts to be fascinating. For weeks, she made jokes about tittles and ta ta's. It took the longest time to break her of making inappropriate remarks. Now, Dh and I love comedy and I must admit, the 1st time I heard her make a comment, I inadvertantly laughed. Huge mistake.

Both my DD's have seen Twilight, so I may be more lenient than many here, but I try to use my best judgement, based on my children and what I feel is apropriate. But I would say that is probably the most inappropriat movie thay have been allowed to see.

 

[Calliaz]

I don't know where you got that from. There are studies that will tell you anything so I don't buy it. But hey, my kids have toy guns, swords and lightsabers. What do I know?

You don't know where I got that from? I put the link to the university study of the literature at the bottom of my post. I can use APA formatting for my quote next time.

Of course, many scientific studies have biases and interpretations. However, what was important about the quote I posted is that there are over 1,000 scientific studies that say the same thing. Not thinking they have validity is like seeing the sun come up for 1,000 days and still not believing that it will probably come up the next day.

My son has toy guns and lightsabers. He plays Toy Story Mania / harmless shooting games. Kids do need to play with guns and even some violence is probably ok. Exposing them to lots of violence and bad behavior by choice is probably not a good idea for the majority of children.

I'm not saying anything about your specific children. I don't know them. But, I think it's wrong not to even care about what science has to say on the subject.

 

[Calliaz]

Sure, those studies and their results may exist, I just personally do not put much stock in them.

May I ask why? I'm curious and not trying to be rude. I am generally skeptical about research (I teach research writing at the college level). People can often turn facts in their favor, have bias, etc. The issue here is that there are multiple quality studies that all say the same thing. Because of that, I think they are important to consider.

I'd be curious to know if in any of the studies, exposure to news programs was included, because IMHO, in a lot of ways, the nightly news can be even more harmful to children in terms of desensitization to violence, nightmares, and fear of being harmed. Even more so than video games and movies because the things they see on the the news ARE reality based.

I think that's a good point. I don't let my son watch the news either. I do share news with him, but there is a lot of violence on there that he does not need to deal with at nearly 7. However, I am not sure it's worse than video games and movies. First, I think some video games and movies are worse. They are more bloody and vicious. Secondly, while they might say that they know video games aren't real, developmentally kids blur that line until they are much older.

Most of the time I can't watch the news because it makes me too depressed.

JMO but I believe that tendencies toward aggressive behaviors are already present in a person. Those with them may be more inclined to gravitate toward violence in media but the propensity for aggression existed before the exposure to the media.

Again, that's valid. But, how do you know if your kid is the one that has aggressive tendencies when they're 4-8? This seems a bit like a chicken-and-the egg issue. Isn't it easier and "safer" to avoid media with overly negative portrayals? Watching movies is entertainment and not a requirement.

 

[puffkin]

I don't really censor anything my DS3 (almost 4) watches to a certain point (TV or movies). Neither DH or I were really censored as children either. I mean, if it is a movie with a ton of sex or a slash/gash horror of course we don't let him watch that stuff. But if DH happens to be watching Family Guy and DS wanders into the room, no biggie. I mean, if DS asks to watch a movie we don't pop SAW in for him, but we do watch stuff with him around. We watched X-Men Origins and Star Trek this week (both PG-13) and he watched some of them.

And have you ever watched some of the old Looney Toon cartoons and things like that? Holy cow, talk about violent! Kids are going to see this stuff regardless of how strict you are....I just would rather him not sneak (school age) around to do it.

Would I go out of my way to let an 8 year old watch the Hangover? No. But if I was watching it and my 8 year old walked in I wouldn't change the channel.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

OK. Here's the thing. I'm 14, a freshman in high school, and do not plan to become a parent anytime soon. That being said, your kids are going to be exposed eventually. I started hearing some things at school when I was 8. When I turned eleven and started middle school, I got a whole slew of information. My parents sorta censored the stuff I saw. There were definite, obvious limits but most things flew over my head anyway so it didn't really matter. My parent's philosophy was that as I got older, they got a bit stricter. And anything inappropriate we talk about together so if I happen to hear something at school I know that it's not the truth or a good thing to do. You need to have a balance between knowing things so you don’t get taken advantage of and not having to be exposed to the scary world in so early. So I know that there are the arguments brewing of "well I don't know about you but my child won't be exposed to that until <insert age here>". You have the right to not expose your child to that stuff until you feel it is appropriate, but unfortunately you can't control the other kids they are around. I learned more things when I was eleven than I ever wanted to know in my entire life. So really it's all about balance. If that made any sense at all. Feel free to ignore my rambling.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You don't know where I got that from? I put the link to the university study of the literature at the bottom of my post. I can use APA formatting for my quote next time.

Of course, many scientific studies have biases and interpretations. However, what was important about the quote I posted is that there are over 1,000 scientific studies that say the same thing. Not thinking they have validity is like seeing the sun come up for 1,000 days and still not believing that it will probably come up the next day.

My son has toy guns and lightsabers. He plays Toy Story Mania / harmless shooting games. Kids do need to play with guns and even some violence is probably ok. Exposing them to lots of violence and bad behavior by choice is probably not a good idea for the majority of children.

I'm not saying anything about your specific children. I don't know them. But, I think it's wrong not to even care about what science has to say on the subject.

My point was that just because there is a study doesn't mean there isn't one to dispute it. Have these studies also looked at the difference in parenting 20 years ago versus now? Have they looked at childrearing as a whole or just kids who watch violent movies? You can think it is wrong to not care what science has to say on the subject but I don't. This is not a topic that I need scientific data for. I use MY good judgement based on my children and how we raise them as a whole. My kids know the difference between fantasy and reality. They know Wolverine is not real. That is what I am saying. Some parents we know wouldn't even let their kids watch Monsters Inc. Of course they know that their child gets easily scared so that was a choice they made. My kids watch Ghosthunters all the time with no issues. They also have seen Batman, X-Men, Spiderman etc.
They have also seen Gladiator because we explained some history with it. I am not showing my kids off color comedians, sex, gore, etc. I just don't think that all violence is equal.

 

[shortbun]

I have a little girl on my bus who's NOW in foster care but she tells me all the time how her mom let her watch 'SAW', 'Halloween','Texas Chainsaw Massacre'...and so forth. I just say, XXX those are innapropriate movies for a 6 year old. She says her foster mom agrees....I hope to shout!!!

 

[Planogirl]

I would imagine that many of the adults on this thread saw violent shows when they were young. Everything from westerns to Looney Tunes to the Three Stooges and so on showed violence of different levels. Do any of the adults here believe that they were desentisized to violence?

I don't buy the studies personally, at least not for older kids. I wouldn't let little ones watch things that they can't understand or that might scare them of course but I don't believe that they'll necessarily be harmed permanently.

 

[Calliaz]

You can think it is wrong to not care what science has to say on the subject but I don't. This is not a topic that I need scientific data for. I use MY good judgement based on my children and how we raise them as a whole. My kids know the difference between fantasy and reality. They know Wolverine is not real. That is what I am saying. Some parents we know wouldn't even let their kids watch Monsters Inc. Of course they know that their child gets easily scared so that was a choice they made. My kids watch Ghosthunters all the time with no issues. They also have seen Batman, X-Men, Spiderman etc.
They have also seen Gladiator because we explained some history with it. I am not showing my kids off color comedians, sex, gore, etc. I just don't think that all violence is equal.

With 1,000 studies, I would be willing to bet that many looked at just those variables. There were at total of 8 studies to dispute the over 1,000 supporting.

Again, I have said multiple times that *your* kids aren't the point, because I don't know them. However, one person's experience is never really true for the whole. We all can argue all day about whose child is ok with what because in many ways they are different; but science looks at the whole and can prove things about the majority of people. I'm glad you're happy with the way you make choices. Me, I like to have as much information as possible.

 

[handinpocket]

I would imagine that many of the adults on this thread saw violent shows when they were young. Everything from westerns to Looney Tunes to the Three Stooges and so on showed violence of different levels. Do any of the adults here believe that they were desentisized to violence?

I don't buy the studies personally, at least not for older kids. I wouldn't let little ones watch things that they can't understand or that might scare them of course but I don't believe that they'll necessarily be harmed permanently.

I agree wholeheartedly. I do draw the line at my kids watching things like Hostel or Saw, but Halloween movies or Friday 13th are fine. I don't let them watch sexually vulgar shows like the Hangover, but most Will Ferrel shows are a-ok by me.

ETA: if they did happen to see those movies, I don't think they would be scarred or anything, I just wouldn't want them watching them unless they were at least 16.