Ok, I don't actually LIVE in D.C but pretty much grew up there and could relate to 90% of these! ENJOY
You know you're living in DC when...
You say you're from DC, but you actually live in VA or MD and are too embarrassed to admit it or too tired to explain it
You know where the Pentagon really is but never bother to correct anyone
When it's rush hour 24/7.
When it takes you 45 minutes to drive 3 miles on 66 /95 /395 / 495 / 50 /123 / 29 / 1 / etc..., it's a pretty good day
When there are at least 15 ways to get everywhere and you know which way to go based on the weather, time of day, current political climate, terrorism road closures, whether you are coming or going, etc...
When you pay more money in parking tickets in a year than you do in medical bills, college costs and rent combined
You actually know at what times the streets change directions and which direction they change to
You don't need a dictionary and a Ph.D. to read and comprehend the parking signs and regulations
You know that driving through Georgetown, you will hear the music of the car next to you louder than you can hear your own
When "I got stuck behind a motorcade" is a common and real excuse for being late
When 'finding a parking space' actually becomes an appointment on your calendar. Eg. 7:00-8:00 Gym, 8:30-9:00PM - find a parking space, 9:00-10:30PM - Dinner reservations
When you meet someone else from the DC area and the first thing you ask them is where they went to school and what they do for a living
If you've ever had to explain to someone that there's more to Arlington than a big cemetery
If you've ever given directions to a woman in a mini-van looking for 'thaa whyyyyyite house' when you were stopped at the red light on 15th and Pennsylvania Ave, NW.
When you say you're going to the Mall and you don't mean you're going shopping
When you know the Old Post Office doesn't sell stamps, yet point tourists there anyway
When you can take the Metro to another state
When you will NEVER actually refer to the 'Metro' as the subway
When you elbow tourists out of the way on the Metro escalators to 'gently' remind them to WALK LEFT, STAND RIGHT
When you actually block out time in your schedule for the escalator ride at Dupont, Rosslyn or Tenleytown...
When going to work early means being there by 9:00AM
When you don't bat an eye at 500 politicians and businessmen in suits running like their lives depend on it just to catch the Metro that will be there again in 90 seconds.
When the 90 year old woman trying to physically battle the Metro door to get in after it's closed seems to be behaving in a 'perfectly normal'
manner
When you describe traffic moving 1 mile in 15 minutes as "not that bad"
When Washington National is and will always be "Washington National" not "Reagan National"
When you're either a Lawyer, Lobbyist, Politician, Student or IT professional and seem confused and perplexed when someone informs you they don't fit one of the above categories...
When you claim that there's nothing to do on a weekend night even when you have the entire nation's capital to explore
When you dress like you're going to go to a club, but you just drive around Georgetown instead
When you have the Metro map memorized, yet act like you don't know when someone asks you how to get to Metro Center
When you start to believe yourself when you say to inquisitive tourists, "No, sorry, don't know, not from here."
When you meet someone else who says they're from the DC area and you realize they live two hours away from you
When you notice that there's been construction on the same stretch of highway for the past 5 years and you never see anyone working on it (50, Mixing Bowl, etc...)
When you know you've crossed into Northern Virginia (without ever seeing a sign) because your speedometer goes from 60 to 0 instantaneously.
When the few times you have gotten lost in DC you have somehow ALWAYS ended up in Anacostia and every road out somehow leads back to Anacostia.
When people from outside the area are thrown off by your sarcasm
When you realize that I-395 is Northern Virginia's version of NASCAR but no, we don't watch it, we just do it
When there is no such thing as north, south, east, or west on the Beltway, it's just go "that" way!
When you go anywhere on the Eastern Shore, Rehoboth, Dewey, Skyline Drive, the Outer Banks or Ocean City for vacation and everyone you meet is from DC
