You have to save for a 3 thousand dollar vacation, right?

[Here4mydisneyfix]

I don't know how many times I've had to bite my tongue when our neighbors comment on "all the trips you take, and with such a big family."

SAME! Hubby's brother made this snide comment before we went on our October trip that went something like this: "Wow. You have a family of five and you are going to Disneyland AGAIN?! What do you make? Over 100 grand a year?! Sheesh!" ugh. We kindly informed him that no, we do not in fact make anywhere near that kind of money (not that it is any of his business) and that not only are we are on a very tight budget to be able to make our experiences happen, but I also work my butt off selling on ebay for the extra little push we need.

The hilarious thing to us is that hubby's brother and his wife BOTH work good jobs, have a condo they have purchased WITH roommates, so their mortgage and utilities are very, very low, their cars are both paid off, and they also have no children! They SHOULD be WAY better off than our one income family of five, but because of their daily choices, they are not. They still do a lot of partying every single weekend, frequent sports games and tons of eating out....yet they wonder why they are broke and can't afford to ever go on vacations? Why is this so difficult for so many people to understand?

 

[robsmom]

That's all fine but to say that you bought 2 houses and 7 cars because you don't have a smartphone or never eat out is not really true.
What does any of that have to do with paying for a vacation anyways?

You are really missing the point. We all do have control of of own financial destiny. The poster said the things were from running a household on a budget over a full working career. This is more than just skipping a meal here or there. 30+ years of financial planning and budgeting adds up. Sure, everyone needs some luck (good health, stable job ), but everyone also needs to make they own luck and control their own lives. One can control some aspects of his or her health, but can't prevent others. So some people exercise everyday (not me!!), eat healthy and go to the doctor's regularly. This doesn't ensure that do not get cancer, but on average they are going to stay healthier than the people who don't do these things.

Finances are the same thing. I can't ensure that the company I work for doesn't go bankrupt and put me out of work, but I can increase my odds by ensuring that I have a good education, that I stay current in my field, that I pay attention to what is happening and try to get a new job before I lose the old one, etc.
An individual can't control the housing market, but they can decide when to buy and sell. They can also buy a house that is smaller and cheaper than what they qualify for, and thus be able to pay in off earlier. I just put some numbers in one of those house calculators. It says a person with 100K income can buy a 415K house on a 30yr loan. They can buy a 320K home on a 15 yr and a 250K for 10 years. The family that chooses option 3 than has 20 years to focus spending on other purchases. The poster never said the value of their homes and it is not our business. Maybe they have 2 250K homes instead of one 415K house.

I know that we personally eat out too much. Thinking about this post, I am going to try to cook a few more meals. I am going to cut $100 a month out of my budget. This is one sit down meal and I take out. If I can do this, I would have $1200 per year. In 30 years I will have 36K plus interest or growth.

Sorry this is so long. There are so many thoughts running in my head on this subject!

 

[crisi]

On this board when people share their personal stories it helps to ask yourself "is there advice in here I can use, or an example here I want to follow"- or the opposite "is there a cautionary tale here I can learn from." No one's life experiences are the same, but over the years I've learned a lot from people who have very different lives than I have that I've applied to my life, increasing my financial security. From Darcy's tale, I know that financial security via frugality over the long haul is a reasonable goal, even on a smaller income. My kids are still in high school, our income seems to be higher, but to me that just tells me I have fewer excuses to be in a similar place when mine graduate from college.

 

[sunshinehighway]

You are really missing the point. We all do have control of of own financial destiny. The poster said the things were from running a household on a budget over a full working career. This is more than just skipping a meal here or there. 30+ years of financial planning and budgeting adds up. Sure, everyone needs some luck (good health, stable job ), but everyone also needs to make they own luck and control their own lives. One can control some aspects of his or her health, but can't prevent others. So some people exercise everyday (not me!!), eat healthy and go to the doctor's regularly. This doesn't ensure that do not get cancer, but on average they are going to stay healthier than the people who don't do these things.

Finances are the same thing. I can't ensure that the company I work for doesn't go bankrupt and put me out of work, but I can increase my odds by ensuring that I have a good education, that I stay current in my field, that I pay attention to what is happening and try to get a new job before I lose the old one, etc.
An individual can't control the housing market, but they can decide when to buy and sell. They can also buy a house that is smaller and cheaper than what they qualify for, and thus be able to pay in off earlier. I just put some numbers in one of those house calculators. It says a person with 100K income can buy a 415K house on a 30yr loan. They can buy a 320K home on a 15 yr and a 250K for 10 years. The family that chooses option 3 than has 20 years to focus spending on other purchases. The poster never said the value of their homes and it is not our business. Maybe they have 2 250K homes instead of one 415K house.

I know that we personally eat out too much. Thinking about this post, I am going to try to cook a few more meals. I am going to cut $100 a month out of my budget. This is one sit down meal and I take out. If I can do this, I would have $1200 per year. In 30 years I will have 36K plus interest or growth.

Sorry this is so long. There are so many thoughts running in my head on this subject!

I'm not missing the point. Darcy has also further explained her intent so I understand she wasn't trying to come across as I took it.

The truth is often on the budget boards there is an attitude of superiority from people because of what they have or don't have.

Since you used a health example I'll make a comparison. It often goes over like a lead balloon when someone starts bragging about how healthy, skinny and perfect they are. If they can do it, everyone should. Just look at that "what's your excuse?" Mom who was banned from facebook.

 

[Eastern]

We have had neighbors say to us "you are so lucky to be able to go on your trips every year". Being polite, we didn't say "if you hadn't just changed your carpet and kitchen cabinets for the second time in 4 years you might have been able to do this too".

I know what you mean. One of our neighbor's kids said to me once, 'you never change your house, it always looks the same'. I know where that comment came from They redecorate entire rooms every 5 years.

 

[Eastern]

NJ is very expensive for most things (housing, property tax) but auto insurance is pretty average. We pay $1050 per year for two cars, two people insured.

I pay ~$3600 for 4 cars, only 1 new, 1 no collision. But I have young drivers in the household.

 

[Susiequsie60]

I'm speaking FOR myself here, not TO anyone else.

When I read a post where someone tells how or why they do something, it's pretty easy to "judge" that person if it's very different from what I do or why I do it. Since growing up and having my own family, however, I try very very very hard when I read these posts NOT to judge anyone in their choices. Everyone follows a different path and has a different past. There are always reasons for how people think and act.

I know this probably sounds sort of Pollyanna like, but it truly is how I try to lead my life, which needless to say, has not turned out exactly as I thought it would 30 years ago. I might be judging myself pretty hard right now. Marriage is harder than I thought it would be . . . I won't even talk about what it's like to raise children!! I love my husband and I love my kids - beyond words. But over the past 25 years I've learned an awful lot about choices and behavior and things being out of my control.

I definitely get annoyed when reading some posts. But I just remind myself that I have no idea about where this person is coming from and what they've lived.

And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE - I'm not saying this to anyone on in this thread or even on these boards. It's just me.

 

[luvsJack]

In answer to the OP's question, I don't exactly "save" and I certainly don't wait on someone to die!

I put $200 down on the package through Disney and pay on it every month.

If we take a trip to the beach in the summer, I book the hotel and pay the first night usually. Then between whenever we book it and the trip, I do set aside $X every week with dh's check or make sure we can use my check (paid monthly) for the month prior to the trip.

But, I don't exactly set a certain amount aside each month of the year for vacation nor do I pay for in on credit.

 

[Lita]

If you make $100k+, that's about $8400/mo. Let's say your withholding is about 25%, you are taking home $6300/mo. Let's say your monthly expenses are as follows: $1300 mortgage $ 800 two car payments at $400 ea $ 200 camper and storage $ 200 auto insurance $ 200 homeowners insurance $ 150 cell phones $ 100 cable/internet $ 200 gas/electric bills $ 400 gasoline $ 500 groceries $ 200 clothing $ 300 entertainment (dining/movies, sports) $ 600 tithe $ 600 savings $5750 Total Expenses $6300 income - $5750 expenses = $550/mo discretionary You may not be able to save $3k in 3mos, but I think you can save it in 6 months. And send your Aunt a nice Christmas card, maybe a box of chocolates too.

Left out health insurance and 401k and other deductions.

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

 

[TnTWalter]

let me just say that you really should read 'the Millionaire Next Door'. It's a wonderful book to read if you want to change your financial future. I also enjoy Total Money Makeover or Financial Peace.

Regarding Inheritance. It would be nice but counting on money down the road .... there's an old expression .... don't count your chickens before they're hatched.

Regarding Vacations. I save for vacations. We've been saving for a few years for a big Hawaii trip this summer.

Regarding Cars. We don't finance cars, we buy them; we earmark money we put in savings for the next vehicle. Just because you get a low interest rate doesn't always mean you get a great deal. Most cards depreciate the first 2 years so you get a better deal buying 2 year old or older cars with cash.

Best of luck.

Trish

 

[2girls4me]

got it..thanks! and it is a ...strange.... subject

Yes, we would have to

 

[smidgy]

we stopped going out for drinks, dinners and movies. only once in a while. I shop very little for things like clothes, do not spend money at beauty salons. we don't redecorate, etc.

but our biggest savings was that in jan it will be 3 years since we quit smoking! that is a HUGE savings. other waitresses or bartenders say to me "how the heck can you afford disney every year" as they are puffing on a cigarette at $10 or so a pack. (not putting down smokers, I smoked for close to 40 years; just saying we can choose what we spend money on)

and the OP should just take her camper to Fort Wilderness. problem solved.

even considering counting on someone dying to pay for my vacation...

 

[mistysue]

but our biggest savings was that in jan it will be 3 years since we quit smoking! that is a HUGE savings. other waitresses or bartenders say to me "how the heck can you afford disney every year" as they are puffing on a cigarette at $10 or so a pack. (not putting down smokers, I smoked for close to 40 years; just saying we can choose what we spend money on)

and the OP should just take her camper to Fort Wilderness. problem solved.

even considering counting on someone dying to pay for my vacation...

I've actually envied smokers while trying to cut down my budget specifically for that reason- it would be such a quick way to find money! At $4/pack, if you went through a pack a day that is just under $1,500/year... 2 smokers and you have a whole vacation right there! I'm not trying to say it's easy to quit, it would just be awesome to have something like that looming to cut out. We already do our own hair, don't eat out, pack lunches, shop at the thrift, etc.

 

[smidgy]

mistysue, cigarettes haven't been $4 a pack for years!!!

 

[mistysue]

I know, that would make it even more cool as a budget cutting item! The last time I spent a large amount of time with a smoker the name brands were $4-5/pack and you could get some super cheap ones for about $2/pack.

 

[dawnball]

I got to thinking about life, money and people with this. Our yearly household is just north of six figures. We have a mortgage, two car payments, Camper payment and storage(less than 200 a month) and all the other phones/cable/inet junk bills everyone else does.

People with these stats have to live on budgets, right? You have to save for what you want or buy it on credit and pay someone interest to let you have your experience early.

Second, I have a friend whose a Anesthesiologist. Great dude, started with nothing. All loans through school, got the grades, got the job, paid them back. Dude has 3 kids and house 200K above mine, but same cars and other bills etc. But this fella is probably 1.5 to 2.5 times more in a paycheck than me. But, really his expenses aren't more than 50 percent more than me. He's making money each month because he's got a better ratio. That's translates into the ability to do the things I want to do at often double or better rate.

So, I've read a few more of your posts, and I think I understand where you're coming from.

Yes, people with all those bills and that income typically have to save for a vacation. And you're right about the expense ratio, too.

In 2004, DH and I were in a similar place financially. Our expense ratio was high and a 3K trip was a really big deal. In 2010, we had 45K of tuition expenses every year, income under 100K and enough savings that 3K of heat pump replacement in the same year we had to buy a new car wasn't a big deal.

What changed? Us. We cut our expenses. No cable TV. No land line. We used vonage back then, so it was $10/month for phone. We kept the internet, but cut our food, clothing and entertainment budgets in a massive way. We used an envelope system, and slowly decreased how much money we put in the envelopes.

I could get collard greens cheaply and by the bushel basket. We bought into a CSA. I've never seen so much cabbage and potatoes in my life. We bought beef by the side and ate a ton of collards, cabbage, potatoes and beef. A major splurge for us was a whole spring lamb at $4/lb packed weight. Then we ate lamb and greens and potatoes. We didn't buy alcohol. We didn't buy dairy products. We took packed lunches to work every day and never went out to eat or bought processed convenience foods.

Vacations were in-state, AND off-season. We're talking NC beaches in January, or going to stay with my in-laws in the mountains.

We sold things. If we'd owned a camper, we'd have sold it. And probably the vehicle that towed it if we could get something more fuel efficient. No storage - if it didn't fit in the house, it was gone. DH picked up some side jobs - he'd work 55-60 hour weeks and I'd stay home with the baby.

We weren't saving for anything in particular - we were just moving to a sustainable expense/income ratio. And we did it. But it wasn't easy, and required both of us to be committed, not just along for the ride.

We still do it. I just replaced a growing daily starbucks habit with some ultra-fancy tea leaves that I take to the office. Even with high-end tea, I'm going from $2-5/day to $.25/day. That's a minimum of $455/yr with one little change. And the tea makes me feel massively spoiled and indulged.

My point is just that it's doable. Over a relatively small number of years.

 

[Egdisney]

mistysue, cigarettes haven't been $4 a pack for years!!!

They are still $4 in Missouri. Or right around there, I'm not sure. Mizzou taxes me to death, but tobacco is cheaper here than anywhere else.

 

[momto2inKC]

mistysue, cigarettes haven't been $4 a pack for years!!!

My husband smokes and he pays $3.60-3.80 a pack for Marlboros

 

[crisi]

We still do it. I just replaced a growing daily starbucks habit with some ultra-fancy tea leaves that I take to the office. Even with high-end tea, I'm going from $2-5/day to $.25/day. That's a minimum of $455/yr with one little change. And the tea makes me feel massively spoiled and indulged.

I indulge myself with tea all the time. On an ordinary day I brew up a loose leave pot from Harney and Sons, but when I really want to feel spoiled, its Tea Forte pyramids - that's about $.50 a sachet (I get two cups from a sachet) - I was thinking that was really expensive - thanks for reminding me that is still cheaper than swinging through Starbucks every day - and about the same as a K-Cup. It also makes for a very nice indulgent gift for someone to give me.

Its funny, people I know who do well financially tend to count these little things - even when their incomes are large. Starbucks is a real indulgence, I cut my dryer sheets in half, use homemade laundry detergent, and can get three meals from a deli chicken. People who struggle are often the ones who think a cup of fancy coffee at Starbucks is "only $5," Tide gets their clothes cleaner, and leftovers are a bother.

 

[Granny square]

I indulge myself with tea all the time. On an ordinary day I brew up a loose leave pot from Harney and Sons, but when I really want to feel spoiled, its Tea Forte pyramids - that's about $.50 a sachet (I get two cups from a sachet) - I was thinking that was really expensive - thanks for reminding me that is still cheaper than swinging through Starbucks every day - and about the same as a K-Cup. It also makes for a very nice indulgent gift for someone to give me. Its funny, people I know who do well financially tend to count these little things - even when their incomes are large. Starbucks is a real indulgence, I cut my dryer sheets in half, use homemade laundry detergent, and can get three meals from a deli chicken. People who struggle are often the ones who think a cup of fancy coffee at Starbucks is "only $5," Tide gets their clothes cleaner, and leftovers are a bother.

I agree. My sons former best friend had to have beats and intentionally wore his basketball shoes outdoors so he could have new this year. But he and his family are always crying poor. ( her $3000 student loan still hasn't been paid 20 years later!). He had the nerve to mock his friends And call them stingy for using $30 headphones and using the same shoes.

I'm a tea drinker too and have to remember it is ok to drink as much as I want of my special teas. Lol, I tend to hoard them.