"You guys are going to Disney? WHEN?? . . "

[Hixski]

My DH and I travel alot. Skiing in Colorado. Vegas. Long weekend in San Francisco. Golf in Phoenix. Cruises. WDW. You get the picture. There is always someone wanting to go with us. Most of the time it is ok but DH says we are going to start taking a few by ourselves. We do not have children and the people that go with us do not have either (or they are older and not around anyway). We do not have trouble saying no but after people have been going with you, you might need to be creative about your "NO".

 

[babiesX2]

I have no "tact" so I can't offer you any constructive advice. But good luck to you in getting rid of them.

 

[Nee Nee and Biddy]

This is a tough situation and I feel your pain. When we got married at WDW both of our families were there and I spent a lot of time making the perfect schedule so everyone would have a magical time. Big mistake. I was a nervous wreck because everyone wanted different things and many of them weren't Disney fanatics like myself. We got through it and it was a great trip but I wasted a bunch of mental anguish on it. I agree with the previous posters. You need to let them know that you want to spend time with your family. If they don't understand that, then feel free to get more forceful in your replies. Don't spend a bunch of time and money on a vaction just to have it ruined. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

 

[donna in Oz]

I'm totally sympathetic to this problem - been there, done that! On our last trip we took a friend who was a 1st-timer to WDW. From day one, she didn't want to ride rides, walked around as though totally bored with it all, complained about prices, and wouldn't consider CS restaurants because they did not offer "health food" . She had to return home two days prior to our scheduled departure, and I was never so relieved as when we saw her off at the airport.

But I am in the position of always having an extra person on every trip, whether I really want her there or not. My MIL is blind, I dearly love her, and she has a great sense of humor. We took her to WDW for the first time in 1999, and now she looks forward to going with us every single trip we make. We just don't have the heart to turn her down, since her daily life is such a challenge for her, and I know this sounds selfish ... but I'd really like to have a nice long trip for just the two of us!!

We don't actually "invite" her, but she makes it a point of telling us periodically how much money she has saved for her next Disney trip. Kinda hard to turn that one down. Oh well . . . some day in the distant (I hope) future, I'll be SOOOOOOO glad we sprinkled pixie dust into her life at every opportunity.

 

[Simba's Mom]

This used to happen to me a lot on my solo trips, especially. People wanted to go "Keep me company"-they just were so sure I wasn't going solo out of choice. And even on some of our family trips. So, maybe this sounds selfish, but we just don't tell hardly anyone anymore. I'm sure we couldn't get away with this if our kids were young (Boy, I had to tell EVERYONE when I was a kid). But now we don't say anything, or at least not until a week or two beforehand, when it's way too late to change plans.

 

[mickeysaver]

Wow, I can relate! I love my partner and her family....well, most of her family. I just hate it when they want to come join us for a day or two at the parks. They live in FL, so it's hard to not go see them when we go to WDW. Gabby's mom is really sweet and her sister Launda is so much fun, but then there is the other sister and her loser boyfriend and her two teens.....OMG, it's just a hideous affair trying to keep that group on task. It was like herding cats trying to get them to the group photo session at MVMCP last year. Gabby also has a trio of best friends that sometimes come along too and while they are nice people, they just don't have a clue when it comes to "doing Disney". I just want to scream, "Your are doing it wrong!" at almost every turn.

Ok with this all being said, and trust me, it's just the tip of the iceberg, I made a request of Gabby to make the next trip to WDW, just for us. The next trip is for my 40th. I do not want to see anyone on this trip that I know, other than the cast of characters at WDW and Gabby. I want a non-family/friend drama tainted pixie dust bubble of happiness! Gabby understands, thankfully, and will not be advertising our trip to friends and family, but if anyone does find out, I will not hesitate to ask that we be left alone. Our last trip was exhausting just trying to work in two days out of 6 with them at the parks. We gave them 2-1/2 days before we went to WDW too. It's not like they don't get to see Gabby pretty often these days, because she travels to FL for work at least once every month now.

Friends don't ask friends to accept drama tainted pixie dust with a smile. Maggie

 

[Metallicat]

We don't have that problem because we don't tell everybody we are going.
I have this thing that if I tell anybody, it makes me feel as if I'm bragging and I hate that feeling. and the way I see it, the fewer people who know we are gone the better.

If anybody needs me for an emergency or anything, I have a cell phone and voice mail and can call them back.

 

[joshsmom]

Sorry I didn't get back to this thread until today. After I posted it, I almost recalled it because I was really worried that I was being over-sensitive or just, like someone else said, "an ogre!" After reading through all of these posts, I am SO RELIEVED!!! There is some GREAT advice here (and no flames!). I am "scripting" my reply to my friends as we speak so that when they ask, I'll be ready for them. At least that will give me the opportunity to know what to say and how to say it (thanks to you guys!). They may unhappy about it, but you guys are SO right--this is our FAMILY time! When I'm at Disney, I want to put "the real world" in a litte dark recess of my mind and just BE. Since I know I can't do that with others along, I need to let them know that.

Thank you thank you thank you all for your great advice!!!

Hey, and if any of YOU are going in May, I'd LOVE to see you there--but I'll remember that its your family time too!!!

 

[Jackie H.]

I only disagree with one thing on the replies: "no one could argue with you saying you want family time alone". Anyone who would invite themselves on your vacation would argue with that! Those type folks really only think of themselves.

Do what the others have suggested and just be pleasant but clear: "this is our family vacation...we look forward to spending time together as a family....maybe we will see you there". Then I would try like everything to NOT tell them anything else, including where you are staying and when you are going. Then do this very important step: STOP WORRYING ABOUT IT!

No one has the 'right' to ruin your vacation. These things cost too much money and take too much effort (any vacation, not just Disney). Our kids are grown and gone soon enough and then the chance to make these memories is gone. My hubby's grandmother used to tell us, "you aren't spending money, you are making memories". Words of wisdom, IMHO.

If they are really good friends, offer to help them plan their trip......just not as a joint one with you.

It seems that the best way to ruin a friendship is to go on vacation with them! Especially families...there are just too many personalities involved to NOT end up with some kind of conflict.

 

[Liz]

I hope you can figure out a way to tell these people you aren't planning their trips for them and you don't want them along. You've received some really good advice here.

We've gone to Disneyland with my BIL & SIL (disaster) and WDW with good friends of ours (not a disaster but still not the same). After those two trips we've decided our Disney trips are for our family and our family alone.

Good luck to you.

 

[AprilShowers]

DH and I have a policy. WE DON'T TRAVEL WITH OTHER PEOPLE!
It has been a disaster every time!

Now, when someone mentions traveling together, we state our policy. If they get offended, we simply say, we've had a few bad experiences with others and don't want to damage the friendship.

This explanation works very well.

 

[MinnieGirl33]

When somebody says to me that they are going the same week as we are, I always say "great, maybe we'll see ya there!"

OR "Maybe we could meet for lunch one day."

OR "Wouldn't it be funny if we actually bumped into each other?"

Gives a subtle hint that you have no intention of spending your trip being a tour guide.

This is YOUR family time.

 

[Hixski]

I know we will still take some vacations with other people. I will just be very careful who goes with us. We have a friend that goes skiing with us every year. No problem. We have a couple that we have gone on a couple of golf trips with. No problem. But I will never again go with my DB. He is 42 and still lives with my parents. Thinks the world revolves around him. We went to Las Vegas for his 40th birthday and it was a disaster. We came back and he whined to my mother that he didn't get to do anything he wanted. We went commando from casino to casino so he could see what they all looked like. He whined that we wanted to gamble and he didn't want to. Hello, we are in Las Vegas. So I guess we will have some by ourselves and some with others. But the ones with other people will be with ones already road tested.

 

[shyjade]

I actually had an EX boyfriend ask to join my DD8 and I on our upcoming trip! I should mention that we only casually dated for about 2 months, and I broke it off because he was SMOTHERING me. We've remained friends and co-workers. I haven't taken my DD to Disney in FIVE years, and we're only going for a few nights because it's all I can afford. Yet he actually wanted to join us!

I immediately told him NO, this was OUR time alone, and NOBODY else is invited. He whined, and I told him to get over it, it wasn't going to happen. Cold, I know, but that's the only way he listens.

I would NEVER invite myself to join another family on vacation...yet so many foolishly do.